Chapter 9
“Well, this is awkward,” the changeling said as he took a few steps back. A few hundred pairs of eyes were still looking at him. Was it always this hot in the barn? “Uh, you don’t suppose we can let bygones be bygones? Then we can all just take a nice, deep breath and BYE!”
He whirled around and sprinted for the barn doors. Behind him, he could hear a pony shout something, and then a loud ‘whoosh’. He felt something or somepony tackle him from behind. He was flung forward, rolling head over hooves. While he tumbled, he could see a rainbow blur somewhere, telling him that it was Rainbow Dash who had knocked him over.
He rolled into the barn doors, jaws first. Luckily, due to his head’s earlier experience with bumps, he could quickly recover.
Now, before they can react, I’ll get out of here, he thought as he stared up at the ceiling. As he tried to move, however, he could only feel that his teeth hurt. Wait, what...?
He stared at where his head was touching the barn doors. Apparently, he’d been flung forward so hard that his fangs were now stuck in the wood. “Fufiv Fah’s!” he cursed to himself. He tried pulling himself loose again, but his teeth wouldn’t budge.
That was, until he saw a purple glow surround his head, and felt something pull at him. His teeth suddenly came loose from the door, the whiplash causing him to turn around.
Suddenly, he was staring into the angry faces of six ponies he’d already met. Apparently, Rarity had already recovered from fainting.
“Wow, fancy that, meeting the Elements of Harmony,” he said as he chuckled nervously. He tried taking a step backwards, but found he was already against the wall. He pushed himself farther away from the six ponies in front of him, causing him to sit down.
“Where’s Suncloak?” Rainbow Dash demanded, inching closer to the changeling.
“Uh, what?” Suncloak answered. He was Suncloak. Well, it was only a temporary name. He didn’t really have a changeling name since he was banished, anyway. No hive meant no job, and no job meant no name, technically. But still, Suncloak was his name! He’d gotten at least a little bit attached to it.
“Where’d you leave the real Sunny?” Pinkie Pie demanded. “You mean meanie-pants changeling! Give him back!”
“But I am Suncloak!” the changeling protested. Did they really think he’d abducted a pony named Suncloak to take his place? At least it meant that he’d done a good job with his disguise and behaviour.
“Obviously not,” Rarity said, “since you’re a changeling. You must have replaced poor Suncloak some time ago!”
Okay, these ponies were just being stupid now. “Like I said, I am Suncloak! I’ve been Suncloak ever since I met the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” he yelled angrily.
The six ponies suddenly gave him surprised and confused looks. They really did think he was a pony! Everything would’ve turned out gr-
“Ah knew it!” Applejack exclaimed.
It was Suncloak’s turn to look surprised. “What do you mean?” he asked the orange earth pony.
“Ah should’ve known when Ah thought yer hoof felt weird when Ah shook it!” she said. Uh... so she’d suspected something from the very start? “Ah told ya that Ah thought he was lyin’, Twilight!” Well, at least they don’t call her the Element of Honesty for nothing.
“But I don’t understand,” Twilight said, “I just thought you were a bit on edge because the invasion wasn’t that long ago. He didn’t really seem like a changeling when you sent him over with that book like we planned!”
Whoa, that had actually been planned in advance? Applejack must’ve gone to the library during his first night in the barn. Ponies were apparently a lot more clever than he thought...
“Well, of all the things that could possibly have happened,” Rarity said, “this was-”
“The worst possible thing?” the other five ponies finished for her with deadpan looks. Even Fluttershy, surprisingly.
“Well, I was going to say ‘quite unexpected’, actually,” Rarity said. “I deliberately bumped into him to check after Twilight told me you suspected something,” she told Applejack, “but I didn’t think he was a changeling either! His cloak is somewhat... tacky, but that hardly means somepony is a changeling. I thought changelings were meaner than him!”
How incredibly rude! Changelings weren’t mean, they just didn’t think the same way as ponies. Then again, he’d always thought ponies were really dumb, but apparently, they’d constructed schemes behind his back to find out if he was a changeling or not.
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash chimed in, “at least you didn’t make a joke about him being a changeling.” Right, she’d done that. She must’ve realized she was right by now. “He was weird and stuff, but that didn’t tell me he was a changeling. We know other weird ponies, after all.” She looked at Pinkie Pie. “I’m just surprised your Pinkie Sense didn’t tell you anything!”
“Hey, my Pinkie Sense only predicts stuff in the near future,” Pinkie Pie said seriously. “It didn’t tell me he was a changeling. Besides, I kept an eye on him like Twilight asked me to, and when I met him, he was nice and he waited for my welcome wagon and he even had to laugh when I accidentally swapped the confetti and the sprinkles!” She sat down and looked at Fluttershy. “And Fluttershy was there too! You didn’t think he was a changeling, right, Fluttershy?”
The other Elements looked expectantly at Fluttershy, who had started blushing a bit. “Um...” she started.
“Well?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “You didn’t suspect him, right?”
“Well,” Fluttershy started, “I didn’t really notice anything big when I met him...”
Rainbow Dash rushed over to her and wildly shook the yellow pegasus around. “Well? C’mon, tell us! Somepony had to have noticed?!” She put Fluttershy down again. “Uh, sorry. Got swept up in the moment.”
The timid mare shook her head to get rid of the dizziness. “If you really want to know...” She took a deep breath. “His cloak followed the contours of his hooves so I could see the holes, there were bulges where his wings were, I could see his short, grey tail, and I could see his eyes just slightly through the sunglasses. Oh, and I saw him around my house the day before Applejack met him.”
The other five ponies gave her confused looks. “But darling, why didn’t you tell us?” Rarity asked.
“Oh,” Fluttershy said timidly, “I thought it’d be really rude. Nopony likes a tattletale.”
Rainbow Dash slapped herself in the face with a hoof and groaned.
“Regardless, we have him now,” Twilight said as she turned towards the caught changeling again, “now-”
The barn door was slightly open, and there wasn’t a changeling to be found.
Twilight sighed. “Let’s split up and look for him. He couldn’t have gotten far.”
Pinkie Pie turned to all the other ponies in the barn. “Sorry everypony! The party is on hold for now!”
She was met by a chorus of ‘Awwwww’.
Suncloak found himself fleeing through the orchard of Sweet Apple Acres. Everything had gone so well until now! The ponies had suspected he was a changeling, but he’d fooled them all. They saw through his disguise, but apparently they thought he was too nice to be a changeling. Not that they were incredibly wrong; changelings could be jerks. In fact, they were jerks most of the time toward each other. Why be friends with other changelings, if they wouldn’t share love with you, anyway? They needed it to stay alive as well. The deepest relationship changelings could have was rivalry.
He wasn’t even halfway across the orchard before he felt really tired. That didn’t come as a surprise, seeing as he hadn’t taken any love for... how many days? He hadn’t kept count. But apparently, after panicking about being found out and running, he was starting to run low on energy.
Panting, he stopped next to one of the many apple trees. As he laid down on the ground, leaning against the tree, he sighed. He’d been banished from his hive, and flung through the air for who knows how many miles. He had landed near Ponyville, where he got a disguise and tried to steal love.
He’d actually enjoyed being in Ponyville. Sure, the ponies had been annoying in various ways, but he could think of a bunch of worse ways to spend his time. The past days had been far more enjoyable than he’d thought, even though he had to be incredibly careful not to reveal himself to all the ponies in town.
However, that was all over now. Either he’d starve right here, or he’d be found, thrown in jail, and then he’d starve.
He laid his head down and sighed as he heard a pony approach him. He could hear the pony lay down in the grass as well, but the changeling didn’t even bother looking.
For several uneasy seconds, they remained silent.
“What are you waiting for?” he asked the pony. “Aren’t you supposed to take me away, put me in prison?”
The pony sighed. “I don’t get it.” Judging from the voice, it was Twilight Sparkle. Great, it was even Princess Celestia’s star pupil. Maybe he could get sent to the moon, that’d make everything go much faster.
“Don’t get what?” he asked shortly.
“I thought changelings were jerks. Why were you so nice to us?” Twilight elaborated.
Suncloak shrugged weakly. “I had to stay hidden. I didn’t have enough energy to put up a disguise, so I borrowed some things and hoped I could fool all of you.”
“But why are you here?” Twilight asked. “I don’t think the changeling queen would send a hungry spy over here, and if I was a really hungry changeling, I’d go somewhere where I knew I could feed.”
Ponies were indeed far more clever than he had thought. “I was banished,” he answered, tears welling up in his eyes. “Queen Chrysalis blamed me for making the invasion fail. It wasn’t my fault, but I think she was just really angry, or wanted a scapegoat.”
They both sighed, and remained silent for another few seconds.
“So, you don’t have anything anymore?” Twilight asked. There was a twinge of sadness in her voice.
He shook his head. “No home, no friends, not even a name.” He swallowed. Did his throat always feel this tight? “Well, I suppose my name is Suncloak, but I just made that up to blend in.”
He looked at Twilight. “But I actually like that name now! I enjoyed being in Ponyville, I really did! Even though I found ponies to be annoying, being around all of you somehow made me feel good in the end! And often, after talking to one of you ponies, I could feel just a little bit of love in the air around me. Not the real love stuff, but different.” He laid his head down again. “Not that it matters any more.” He presented his front hooves to Twilight. “So go ahead, lock me up. I don’t think I can resist...”
He held them there for a few moments, but there was no reaction. He shot the purple pony an annoyed look. “Well? Come on, put the cuffs on. This is starting to hurt.”
Twilight stared pensively. “No,” she said.
The changeling laid his front legs on the ground again. “What ‘no’? You told me yourself that you were supposed to capture and lock up any changeling you found.” Stupid, ridiculous ponies. “It’s a royal order!”
Twilight shook her head. “You didn’t take any love, right?”
“Uh, no,” he answered, “if I had stolen any more than the little bits I felt, I would’ve left Ponyville already.”
“Then why didn’t you?” Twilight asked.
The changeling sighed. “Because I couldn’t. Sure, I could have stolen some love, but that would mean I could have ruined a relationship. After my time spent here, I didn’t think that’d be very... nice.”
“So you wouldn’t say you’re a bad changeling, right?” Twilight smiled.
“Well, according to changeling standards, I’m a horrible changeling right now. But according to pony standards, I guess not,” he answered. “But does that matter? Orders. Changelings. Lock ‘em up.”
“Actually,” Twilight said, “I made that up to check your reaction.”
The changeling’s eyes widened. Clever, scheming pony. And actually, that wasn’t much different from what he himself had done.
“Your reaction was far more extreme than a pony’s normal reaction,” Twilight said. She was right, he’d reacted incredibly shocked. “Any pony would probably be happy with such an order, or at the very least, slightly concerned.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything?” Suncloak asked.
“I did, actually,” Twilight answered, “I informed Princess Celestia, and-”
“What?!” the changeling exclaimed. He attempted to run away, but he didn’t have the energy to stand up. He couldn’t be blamed for trying, though.
“I told her that I pretty much knew you were a changeling, and she agreed. I thought you weren’t a bad changeling, so I asked the princess if she could let me deal with the whole situation.”
“I, but, what? I don’t, you... Huh?” the changeling bumbled. So, she’d known since they met, but she didn’t do anything?
“I thought you were a nice changeling. I talked to the ponies who had met you, and they also thought you were nice. You heard what the others said in the barn,” Twilight said. “And I think I know what those little bits of love you felt were.” She put a hoof on his shoulder.
Instantly, he felt and smelled love around him. There wasn’t any doubt; it came from Twilight Sparkle. It wasn’t the usual love that came from a couple, but a more subtle, somewhat diluted love. Unlike earlier times, this wasn’t a little bite, this felt more like an average snack. Would it be alright if he just took it?
“You were nice to other ponies, and they were nice to you. I think the love you took was friendship. Friends love each other too, although not in the way a couple do.”
Suncloak slapped himself in the face. Of course! Most ponies didn’t know he was a changeling, so they’d just treated him like any new pony. As a potential new friend. Those little bits of love he felt were actually meant for him!
“If I’m nice to ponies, they’ll just give me love? Like you’re giving to me, now?” he asked hopefully.
Twilight nodded. “And I bet that if you continue being nice, ponies will love you more and more.”
The changeling’s horn glowed as he took in the love Twilight had given him. Finally, he had gotten something! And he didn’t even need to steal it. Weird, but strangely useful. If only he had known this earlier. “Thanks,” he said as he stood up.
Twilight stood up as well. “How about we go back to the party?”
“Uh, don’t I need a disguise?” Suncloak said.
“No,” Twilight answered. “Everypony already knows you’re the real Suncloak, anyway.”
“But won’t they hate me?” the changeling asked, worried. He was a changeling, they were ponies. With the whole failed invasion thing being not that long ago, they’d probably want to run him out of the village.
“It’ll be okay,” Twilight assured him, “me, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie will explain it to everypony. We’re already your friends, and they trust us.”
The changeling looked around. “Where are the others, anyway? Did you split up?” He turned around a few times.
Twilight scratched her chin. “We split up, but they should be about done looking around. I think they’re back at the barn already. Let’s go meet them th-”
She was cut off by Pinkie Pie jumping out a bush and throwing herself around Suncloak. “Yay, Sunny’s gonna come to the party!” she yelled as she hugged him.
The changeling, on the other hoof, jumped up in the air with a loud yelp. After he landed, he struggled to get the party pony off him.
Twilight sighed. “Pinkie, were you eavesdropping on us alone in that bush?”
“I wasn’t eavesdropping alone,” Pinkie said, still clinging to Suncloak.
Applejack stepped out of the bush Pinkie had been hiding in, while Fluttershy and Rarity appeared from behind two trees. Rainbow Dash flew out of her hiding spot in a tree.
“Were all of you eavesdropping?” Twilight asked them, annoyed.
“We heard you talking, and we didn’t want to interrupt,” Fluttershy said with her usual soft tone. “So we just listened.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie chimed in, “we thought Sunny sounded all sad and we felt really sorry for ganging up on him earlier and we didn’t want to scare him!” Their mission had failed quite obviously in regards to that last part.
“Like Pinkie Pie said, we’re awfully sorry,” Rarity said. “We didn’t know you were the real Suncloak. You had us all fooled! Well, except Twilight,” she added.
“Hey, he didn’t fool Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said, “and I had my suspicions all along!”
Everypony gave her a deadpan look, except Pinkie Pie, who was still excitedly hugging Suncloak, who was still trying to get her off.
“What? I totally did,” Rainbow Dash defended herself. After a few seconds, she said, “Okay, maybe I didn’t.”
Applejack took Pinkie Pie’s tail in her mouth, pulling her off the changeling. “Ah think yer scaring him, Pinkie,” she said through clenched teeth. After she let go, she said, “Why don’t we get back to the barn? There’s still a party in there.”
The six ponies looked expectantly at Suncloak. Well, he had the support of the Elements of Harmony now, so...
“Sure,” the changeling said.
When they arrived at the barn, Twilight told him to stay outside for a while, whilst they explained to the ponies inside what had happened.
A few moments later, she poked her head out the barn doors again. “We explained it, and they understand. Come in!” she said.
Filled with far more uncertainty than he had prepared himself for, the changeling stepped into the barn.
A few hundred ponies looked at him. It was completely silent.
“Uh, hi?” he said. They hated him, he had to turn back, find another village-
The crowd suddenly erupted in cheers, while Pinkie Pie yelled “Let’s party!”
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Hey look, it's a really friggin' long chapter in which I try to explain EVERYTHING. I mean, you didn't really think everypony was such an idiot, right?
Anyway, if I did this right, people will be like 'you sneaky person, you' and if I botched this, people will be like 'omg hax retcon'. I really, really hope I did this right!
Also, there was going to be a horrible, horrible joke at the party where I was planning to troll around a bit in describing two ponies play Twister, but I couldn't find a way to fit it in. I decided to scrap it, since it didn't really feel like it belonged in this fic, so maybe I'll write it later.
First *flame suit*
Interesting...
You sneaky person, you...that pretty much wrapped it all up for me. Now lets see where this goes from here.
This is great, and just reading the idea of ponies playing twister cracked me up
Good chapter!
loved it
I just want to say that I absolutely adore this fic. In so many aspects. The way you deliver the characters' lines is great. Very natural and as a result believable. The way you work with Suncloak's personality is witty and at the same time amusing. His naivety makes for some very good laughs. And he has an awesome name :)
The build-up was not too draggy (then again maybe it's because I read the first 8 chapters in one sitting), and not too fast either. You made Suncloak's personality development move at a wonderful pace, where he slowly comes to terms with finding the love of friendship. It actually confused me a little at first. I thought Applejack was developing romantic feelings for him. Hahaha. But you made things ever so subtle, slowly pushing the story along with just the slightest hints here and there, like how the other ponies tried to see if he was really a changeling. Rainbow Dash was the most obvious, though. But then again, it is Rainbow Dash...so awesome work portraying her brash and straightforward character so nicely.
This chapter was everything I expected. Wonderful witty dialogue, an interesting turnabout, and a happy conclusion. Honestly, when Twilight was speaking with Suncloak, I felt "Aww" in my heart, so thank you for invoking those feelings in me :D
I also like your style of writing, where there aren't many chunks of long descriptive paragraphs. The lack of them makes for an easy to read, flowing story. There are no criticisms from me because I didn't see any. I was too busy enjoying the whole story. Thanks once again for making my day, Niaeruzu! To wrap it up, I'll state my favourite line from the chapter.
The changeling laid his front legs on the ground again. “What ‘no’? You told me yourself that you were supposed to capture and lock up any changeling you found.” Stupid, ridiculous ponies.
Stupid, ridiculous ponies indeed.
He should of killed them
killed them all
h9.abload.de/img/17780020-20artist3apr9ilt1.png
I demand.... MEHR!
767230omg its like an instant like ic i was a new reader and read this chapter INSTANT LIIIIIIIIIKE:raritystar
ry:
THAT CHAPTER IS SO BEUTYFULL
Ah, so that explains Rarity's reaction then, she did know, and of course, Twilight knew as well, but they like him anyways!
:0 That was awesome. Is the story almost over? I guess this would be a good place to end it. Just make an epilogue, okay? ;D
Where can it go from here?
Looking forward to it!
I noticed the retcon, but then again, having it waved in front of your face is just another way of acheiving a certain type of expression. Mostly the effect is to make the reader feel foolish for having misunderstood, but often it can cause anger due to the perception of a lie.
Frankly, I liked it this time, and you didn't need to worry because the story wasn't so far off from this originally, so you got away with it.
puu.sh/wvm9
Wow, great work, Wish I could write that good
Lets see how this is going on
767434
It does feel like most, if not all of the (revealed) conflicts surrounding Suncloak have been more or less resolved, most more satisfactorily that some published authors can provide.
However, I don't want Sunny's story to end here. The character has so much potential and there's so much that can still be seen and done. If the story does indeed end soon, I'd wish for a follow-up story.
My brain is now satiated.
Best stuff ever!
May the luck be with you!
And so the infiltration begins... muahahahaha!
But now seriously!
It was a very nice chapter, will you continue the story somehow?
767230 [insert Carrot Top here]
Loved this chapter! Can't wait to see where this new friendship goes!
767266 Nope.
Great chapter as always.
Can't wiat for another.
Friendship! Comarades!!
767230
First: Oh, you!
Second: Twister? Do it in separate chapter! Like "Cut content"
Ok, this works out well for me. Having most of the encounters with the Elements being an extended test of character makes sense, and I think that you did a pretty good job setting up things for the bit reveal. Loved that bit with Suncloak's close encounter with the barn door, guess it's a good thing that changeling fangs are resilient as well as being completely smooth, or I could have seen a slightly different result to the door encounter with Dash. So, you now have a changeling that has learned the magic of friendship, and pretty much has an open invitation to stay in Ponyville as a resident. Does he have any loyalty left for anyone in the Swarm that kicked him out, because one thing that good friends do is share a bounty out. It will be interesting to see where you take things from here. Looking forward to the next installment.
I had a feeling Twilight knew and she made up the lock all changelings up. Still love Sun Clock's reactions and thoughts. Can't wait to see how this ends!
Brilliant! This deserves a happy Pinkie Pie!
Now, when can we expect that follow-up featuring Suncloak? Within the week? Very good!
Welcome to Ponyville, aka All-you-can-eat-love-buffet. Peace.
I love how Suncloak was characterized. His reaction finding out the jokes been on him the whole time was highly amusing.
I want more Suncloak! My good sir, this story is absolutely fabulous!
My applause.
Wait what? Incomplete? What else could happen?
Thanks, that was a great chapter!
767777 I just don't want this to turn into one of those stories which digs itself a grave by dragging out the chapters after it's time. I would prefer him to write different stories about Suncloak than continue this one, in which he learns about what it means to be a friend.
Of course they weren't stupid. I figured some stringing along was happening. Very good chapter.
Very well done!
hm... I'm assuming one more chapter, am I right?
lol
769165 LOL. That sounds great! Someone should send this over to the storyboarders :D.
767230 But Rarity had to know, remember when she bumped into him and she was like "A handsome ch- I mean pony like yourself" or something to that effect (Probably not the exact quote, but it was pretty much the same thing). Rarity had to know, Fluttershy was kind of a wildcard, Twilight already knew and Applejack was suspicious
767230 But Rarity had to know, remember when she bumped into him and she was like "A handsome ch- I mean pony like yourself" or something to that effect (Probably not the exact quote, but it was pretty much the same thing). Rarity had to know, Fluttershy was kind of a wildcard, Twilight already knew and Applejack was suspicious
“Regardless, we have him now,” Twilight said as she turned towards the caught changeling again, “now-”
The barn door was slightly open, and there wasn’t a changeling to be found.
My favorite part in the whole story. I can just picture Twilight Facehoofing, like this!
Now just make the next chapter more or less a letter to Celestia, and get started on short episode style stories with Suncloak.
767230 There is more to this story? i mean not much more to go on unless.........MY GOD NOOOOOO! NOT THAT ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
omg hax retcon. This story had so much potential and such good writing.... And you let it end just like that? Aw, man....
You have let it end even before there was an actual plot! Its like you let tension build up we felt that something has to go wrong and then THEY LOVED HIM ALL ALONG HURR HURR. :/ Now you will either leave it like this, a brilliant story with a sucky end or you pull an actual plot out of the blue.
Maybe Suncloak could be the bridge between the Changelings and all ponies towards peace and a mutual relationship of the species.
Excellent storytelling and explaining of the mane 6's plans... and Suncloak is just the most adorable, sometimes-annoyed changeling EVER!
771303 heh... plot
D'awwwwwwwww ..... That was a most heartwarming..
Changeling in complete despair, out of energy, and Twilight comes to reassure him and give him some of her love .. This story gives me an endless supply of love in itself!
You could actually declare this story complete right now, if you wanted to.
Anyway, looking forwards to the last one or two chapters (unless you have a sequel planned, in which case, I'll want to read that one too).