Fear the Bats!

by Evowizard25

The Setup

NIdra wanted to be anywhere else but here. ANYWHERE ELSE!

“And this is the correct way to set your utensils,” Kibitz, Celestia’s trusted advisor and go to pony, instructed. He glanced at the alicorn sitting at the table and sighed. “Please pay attention, Princess Nidra. I know you don’t like this, but this is simply how it is done.”

“For now,” Nidra narrowed her eyes at the utensils. ‘Yes, for now. One day soon, I shall rule my own kingdom and there will be no proper utensil positions. HA! I shall eat with my own hooves and do whatever I want.’ She knew that wasn’t going to happen, but she could dream.

“There will be no thoughts of anarchy in these halls, young lady.” Kibitz frowned. “I already have enough of that with your mother.” He sighed deeply when he heard her snort. “Princess Nidra, I am not the bad guy here. I only want what is the best for you and the royal family. For now, let’s move on to something easier.”

Nidra smiled. While he was a curmudgeon, Kibitz was quite doting on her as a child. Perhaps he would show her a little leniency.

“Which means we’ll move on to the proper way to chew salad.”

‘He’s torturing me on purpose!’ Nidra thought to herself. She heard enough about Kibitz from her mother to guess why. The old stallion was all friendly and kind with Illusion, but with her? No. Of course, Illusion actually did as he was asked and wanted to be a good prince. Nidra couldn’t care less and wanted him gone. Anyhow, anyway.

“Why, is that a frown I see on your face?” A familiar voice resounded about. Sure enough, Discord appeared right beside her in a doctor’s outfit. He was looking at Nidra through a magnifying glass. “Why yes it is. Oh that simply isn’t healthy.” He pulled out a large chart from behind her ear that held several numbered buttons. “On a scale of one to ten, how annoyed are you?”

“Twelve,” Kibitz glared at him.

“Uncle!” Nidra smiled. ‘Freedom!’ She was sure he was going to save her from this torment. She pulled him into a strong hug. “Tis most wondrous to see you again.”

“I would think so,” Discord smiled, hugging his niece. “A moment without me is a most boring moment indeed.” He pulled back from her used his tail to snag Kibitz by the collar and bring him up to his eye level. “And how are you doing, you ol’ bean?”

“I was well and good before now,” Kibitz scoffed.

“Of course you were,” Discord smirked. “But don’t fret. I’m about to take a load off your shoulders.”

“What are you-” Kibitz started, before Discord shoved an apple into his mouth.

“Come, Nidra.” Discord pulled Nidra up into the crook of his left and and wildly gestured with his right. “To Sweet Apple Acres!” With that said, the duo teleported.
________________________________________________________________________

Del was at peace. What Apple wouldn’t be when surrounded by...apples. It’s like the fruit had a calming effect on the family. One couldn’t really explain it, but it was certainly helping with Del’s phobia right now. He was currently counting out an order for a Canterlot noble. Usually, ponies just asked for bushels full. This noble wanted an exact number, which meant he had to take his time and keep up. It didn’t help that the order called for hundreds of apples. Still, he was used to stuff like that. Most of the rest of the family was off doing other chores and his mom was cooking dinner. Granny Smith, who Death seemed to be wary of for very good reasons, was off buying some groceries. Somepony else should’ve done it, since she’s not as strong as she used to, but she’s stubborn. More so than a lot of Apples.

“Two hundred and ninety three, two hundred and ninety four.”

“Two hundred and ninety five.”

Del smiled and grabbed the apple out of the hoof. “Two hundred and…..Huh?” Turning around he came face to face with Nidra, the daughter of Luna. After a few seconds of silence, he did what any pony would do when confronted by a bat pony dream goddess. “AHHHHHH!-”

Nidra shoved an apple into his mouth. “Be still your racism.”

Del spat out the apple. “I’m no-”

Nidra shoved in another. “I do not care. My uncle relayed to me that you are still afflicted with the fear of bats. I say, that this will not do. No longer shall you fear the beautiful creatures of the night. I, Nidra, hereby declare that I will help you with your fears. What say you?”

“....Can we vote on it?”

Nidra threw her head back in uproarious laughter. “Voting? Such jokes you tell. Let us be off, pony of the earth.” Nidra used her wing to push him along.

“But the apples-”

“Will be there when we’re done,” Nidra scoffed. “Do not think mere fruit are more worthy of attention that I.”

“I’m not-” Del’s answer was cut off with another apple.

“Be silent,” Nidra glared at him. “You will listen to me. I know much more about this than you. You are lucky you are the friend of a friend, or else I would do nothing and laugh at your misfortune.”

“That sounds rather harsh.”

“Sometimes we must be harsh to beat a lesson in,” Nidra answered. The two of them walked off until they came to a secluded part of the farm. She gestured for him to sit and and stood tall and proud. “Let us cut to the chase, as they say, and be done with it.”

“What are you-” Del again was cut off. Instead of an apple shoved in his mouth, it was that same little fruitbat that Nidra summoned with her magic. “AHHH-”

Nidra smashed a mallet on his head. “No, bad pony, stop that.”

“OW!” Del rubbed his head. “What the hay was that fer?”

“Every time you scream or cringe in fear, I will smash you with this mallet.” Nidra said.

“Why?” Del certainly wasn’t looking forward to this. He was just lucky he was an Earth pony, else that swing really would have given him a headache.

“That is what my father did with me.”

______________________________________________________________________

“Dad,” little Nidra snorted. “I don’t need to learn how to swim. I can fly.”

*pip*

“Dad, did you just hit me with a marshmallow?”

“Until you get into the water, I will keep hitting you with marshmallows.” Her bat pony father answered.

“That’s stupid,” Nidra glared up at him.

*pip*

“Stop it.”

*pip*

Nidra pouted, growing red with fury. With a twinge of her magic, she threw the marshmallow back with force. Thus, the Marshmallow War began.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Oddly enough, it twas Tiberius who won the battle,” Nidra blinked in confusion. “He is a worthy opponent, even for an opossum.”

Del gave her a deadpan stare. “Yer father hit ya with marshmallows. That’s a mallot.”

“You are most observant,” Nidra smiled. “This will make things easier.” She summoned the bat again.

“AHHH!”

*WHACK*

“Bucking hay!”

Nidra gasped. “Language.”

*WHACK*

“Stop that!” Del put his forehooves over his head.

“Not until you are no longer afraid of bats.”

“Ah’ll be afraid of princesses at this rate.”

“Then we shall work on that next.”

Del groaned.

___________________________________________________________________________

In another part of the nation, in a little cabin, the god of chaos was laughing his tail off. Literally. It was bouncing around the room while he clutched his chest. A large tub of buttery popcorn was beside him as well as a cup with an additional swirly straw. Stuffing his face with more of the salty snack, he gulped it down. “Oh this is simply marvelous. One of my best ideas this year.”

Discord would have preferred watching this in his royal suite up in the castle, but he knew his wife would have had a hissy fit. Oh she married a prankster, but he couldn’t mess with ponies because it’s wrong. What’s wrong with a little fun? Just ‘cause he took that one ponies spine to make a pun doesn’t make him a bad guy. He put it back.

His thinking tree was getting renovated.

So that left him his bestest friend’s house to watch the glorious chaos unfold. He always knew Nidra could make him laugh. More so than her incredibly stuck up mother, but that’s a different topic.

Discord picked up a carrot to stir his buttery popcorn. Yes, it does help with the flavor. However, this carrot was Angel’s. Angel never shared. Anything. Ever.

He’s kind of a jerk that way.

So the little rabbit kicked Discord. That did about as well as you could imagine.

“Oh?” Discord peered down at him. He grinned. “Isn’t it our local daemonspawn. What? Was Tartarus too hot for you?”

Angel glared at him and pointed at his carrot.

“This thing? It didn’t have your name on it.”

Angel pointed to his name engraved on the carrot.

“I’m sorry, I can’t speak English today. If you put it in Prench, then perhaps you might have better luck.” Discord smirked, disappearing in order to miss the bunny’s teeth. In the next second, Angel found himself muzzled and Discord floating in the air. “Ah, ah, ah. Play nice. Fluttershy won’t like it if she found out you hurt her bestest friend.”

“Maybe if he had a good reason, I’d understand.”

Discord’s eyes widened and he looked over to see Fluttershy in the doorway. The quiet mare was wearing a simple, green dress. She was giving him her best ‘u done goofed’ face. He gulped and chuckled nervously. “Fluttershy, I must say, you are looking-”

“Discord,” Fluttershy cut him off. She rarely did that. “I was having a nice outing with my daughter. I really was, but then I forgot my purse. So I come back home and I see you messing with Del.”

“I am not messing with Del,” Discord pointed out. “I am helping him.”

“And you chose Nidra to do so?”

“I thought she would be the best choice.”

“Which is why you’re laughing at him from a distance and eating popcorn.”

“.........Did I forget to mention how lovely that dress looks on you.” When Fluttershy didn’t say anything, Discord sighed. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

Fluttershy sighed as well. “No, I should have expected something like this. I’ve known you long enough to know that.” When Discord looked away in shame, she fluttered over and hugged him. “I’m disappointed, but you had your heart in the right place. Let’s give them some space and hope that Nidra won’t go too far.”

“AHHH-”

*WHACK*

“AGAIN!”

Fluttershy sweatdropped. “Okay, let’s ‘really’ hope for that.”