Drop it like it's hot

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Comments ( 11 )

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The Blessed One

The Blessed One #1 · Mar 5th, 2015 · · 1 ·

Well written... I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not...

Who am I kidding, it was a bad thing. Well written to the point of almost making me puke.

PS: How in the Hell did nobody see them doing that!?

SixUnderscore

SixUnderscore #2 · Mar 5th, 2015 · 1 · ·

Despite it starting to feel a little bit rushed once Twilight's parents were having sex, this was still pretty decent. I can see some potential in this.

Since you said you're experimenting with this genre, I'll be thrilled to see you improve if you decide to do more.

Jamin P Rose

Jamin P Rose #3 · Mar 5th, 2015 · · ·

I quite like this story, it's my kind of thing and I love how well everything is described.

Bloodmoon

Bloodmoon #4 · Mar 5th, 2015 · · ·

Omg I loved this story hope to see you write more good job :)

Pervertigo

Pervertigo #5 · Mar 5th, 2015 · 2 · ·

5699018 I agree with all of this.
Oh my goodness. I feel like you got desperation down pat. Fleetfoot's urgency was my favorite part of this story - specifically when she farts on her friend's leg, before squeezing up her anus and peeing a little, all while Spitfire already pressing herself against the seat.

I hope I'm making sense when I say this: the excretion itself did feel a little rushed and I felt like it could've used a little more detail. Sight, sound, and the character simply reacting to what's coming out of her can only take you so far and only make us so hard. I would've liked a few sentences of the sensation itself - how the characters feel their muscles relax after having them tense for so long, their logs worming through their rectum and feeling their bowels empty, which thus provokes their moans and sighs and everything else.

I also would've liked a description of Spitfire and Fleetfoot walking after the cab dropped them off. That was the most rushed part for me as it felt like the dumps actually started immediately afterwards. Literally one sentence of the cab leaving, a line of dialogue, and just like that the release begins. Describing them taking a few agonizing steps at first, each one worse than the next, would have sufficed.

Regardless, I'm happy that you came out and wrote this. Is this your first time writing scat? If so, what you've done is pretty damn impressive.
7/10

Gallus Matragos

Gallus Matragos #6 · Mar 5th, 2015 · · ·

5701326

There's a first time for everything.

Thanks for all the kind remarks.

Gregg Wikii

Gregg Wikii #7 · Mar 10th, 2015 · 3 · ·

10/10 - IGN

CAPITAL_UNDERSCORE

CAPITAL_UNDERSCORE #8 · Mar 27th, 2015 · 2 · ·

WOW

Seratina

Seratina #9 · Jul 12th, 2016 · 1 · ·

So many scat works are troll... thank you for making a really hot scat clop story. Like others were saying, the description of the sensation of the actual scatting could do some work. The feeling of empty relief after holding it. The arousal from the intensity of repressing. The wafting, gagging, yet strangely amazing smell.
One point where I think you did particularly well was how you described the contrasting textures of each mare's excretion. Also, the part where Fleetfoot had to do a stealth fart was so mmph! But it could've been improved if you described how the heat coming out warmed Spitfire's leg, or if she smelled anything (I might be biased here as I have a smell fetish), or even how Spitfire's leg became slightly damp and moist, which could transition into a different sort of moist wetness from either pee or pussy juice.

All in all, I think you did great job! Definitely gonna follow you and see how your writing grows, regardless of genre.

Raindrops400