Antecedent

by Anonymous Pegasus

Soul Searching

Raindrop sighed faintly, sinking down into the warm water of the tub with a low groan. It had been so long since she’d had the privilege of a good soak in hot water.

Raindrop was at the local Canterlot Inn, a place she had never stayed at before. It was very posh, with white walls and paintings of skylines and the like hung along them. The baths were quite large, and Raindrop was sure she could fit Sentinel in there with her when he arrived. The water was so lulling and calm though that she was having trouble staying awake.

The click of the door opening jogged the pegasus out of her trance, and she looked up as Sentinel pushed his way into the room, sliding off his helmet and placing it besides the door.

The guard was dressed in full armor, but Raindrop noticed that he was quiet. He seemed very subdued.

Sentinel sloughed the rest of his armor, dropping it into the floor and then making his way towards the bathroom, holding a brown bag in his mouth. It jingled merrily with coins.

“Got paid, huh?” Raindrop asked, raising a brow.

Sentinel shook his head, making the bag swing. He dropped the coins in front of the bathtub. “That’s actually your pay.”

Raindrop stared at him, and then blinked once. “Whatever for?”

“You are now officially in the employ of the empire,” Sentinel said with a wry grin, as he pulled himself up onto the edge of the tub and then just flopped into it with a splash.

Holding up a hoof to keep the spray from getting in her eyes, Raindrop peered at her coltfriend. “I guess it’s official then, huh? I suppose I should tell my weather patrol that I won’t be around...”

“It would be a good idea,” Sentinel replied, nodding once as he pressed in close to the mare, curling around her so that he was resting against the tub and she was basically in his lap.

“What happened in the cell?” Raindrop asked, leaning sideways to kiss his cheek.

“I... I don’t know how to explain it,” Sentinel admitted, frowning deeply, his ears splaying back.

Raindrop gently nuzzled at his cheek. “You can tell me, I’m your fillyfriend, after all.”

Sentinel nodded in response, wrapping his hooves around her middle and nosing gently at her neck. It was several long moments before he spoke. “Chitin was... she became my mother.”

“Changeling are named changelings because they, you know, change,” Raindrop pointed out.

Sentinel shook his head. “This was different... I knew she was my mother. Knew it in my heart and soul. For a little while, I was with my mother...”

Raindrop nodded gently, turning around to face the male, gently nudging her nose against his chin and neck. “You’re bothered that she got to you so easily?”

Shaking his head once more, Sentinel gently kissed her nose. “No... I’ve always known that changelings can do that. That they can make you see and believe things that you shouldn’t.”

“Then why are you so...” Raindrop searched for the right word, frowning slightly. “Why are you so disturbed about all this?”

“I just... I don’t know what to feel,” Sentinel admitted, sighing and shaking his head in a helpless way. “I... I was with my mother. I got to feel her hooves around me... I got to hear her voice. I heard her apologize for never being there, for having to go away... I got to memorize her face, her scent. She was there.”

Raindrop nodded, stroking a hoof against Sentinel’s chest soothingly.

“And then... and then she was gone. And it was a changeling all along. It was one of those things that made it so that I don’t even have a mother any more... cheap irony, huh?” the guard asked with a pained note in his voice.

Once again, Raindrop nodded, letting him speak.

“And... and just...” Sentinel bit his bottom lip, his voice wavering. “I don’t... I just... I’m thankful that I got a chance to have all of that... that I could be with her for a few minutes... But I also hate her because-not because changelings killed my parents-but because she didn’t give me more time with her...”

Raindrop gently nuzzled against her coltfriend, wrapping her hooves around him in a soothing hug. “You’re confused, hun, it’s understandable.”

“I don’t know what to feel,” Sentinel admitted, frowning deeply, staring down at his hooves. “I’ve always just... it was easier to hate them. To blame them. I’ve built my entire life on hating them... but now they’re going to be part of the empire, and I... I don’t know what to do.”

Raindrop nodded, squeezing around the guard tightly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “I know how you feel,” she said with a weak laugh. “Whole life just gone and turned upside down.”

“Do you miss it?” Sentinel asked suddenly, turning to stare at her.

The pegasus frowned deeply. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder sometimes how it would have turned out if I hadn’t been half-changeling...” she trailed off, and then shook her head. “But then I remember that because of all that, I found you. I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

Sentinel gave a wry grin at that. “I’d do it all over again, too, I guess... well, I’d learn how to block facial blows easier, first.”

Raindrop giggled, rubbing her cheek against Sentinel’s own. “Well, my life was all reformed. Time for you to do that, too.”

“I... don’t know if I can,” Sentinel admitted, his ears pinning back. “I’m a changeling hunter... that’s my life. That’s what I trained for. That’s what drove me. And now it’s just... gone. How can I just turn my back on a lifetime of preparation?”

“Well, there are the rogue changelings to go after,” Raindrop pointed out, nuzzling against him. “An adjustment phase, perhaps?”

“I... I guess,” Sentinel said, before going quiet again. After several moments, his ears slowly perked up. “She cast a spell on me.”

“Hmm?” Raindrop gave a soft, enquiring sound.

“Chitin. She put a spell on me,” Sentinel said with sudden confidence. “She made me sympathetic to the changelings!”

Raindrop shook her head slowly. “Listen to yourself, hun, you’re being paranoid.”

Sentinel sighed, hanging his head. “I want to hate them... I really, truly just want to hate them...”

“I know hun,” Raindrop soothed, hugging around him again. “But you have to let it go. It’s unhealthy to hate them without cause.”

“They killed my parents,” Sentinel pointed out. “Cause.”

“Touché,” Raindrop admitted, and then peered up at him. “But does it really further your goals to hate them?”

“I... no. But it makes me feel better,” Sentinel stated.

“You have me to make you feel better,” Raindrop said with a wry smile, leaning up to kiss his nose.

Sentinel sighed, wrapping his hooves around the mare and holding her close. “You really are too good for me...”

“I know,” Raindrop said, grinning up at him and gently nudging her nose against his own. “But you’re the only pony who can take a punch so good.”

“My one redeeming quality,” Sentinel said wryly.

“Plus you’re cute,” Raindrop added, nuzzling up against him.

“I’m just... why don’t I hate them any more?” Sentinel asked suddenly, squeezing Raindrop reflexively with his hooves in irritation. “It doesn’t make sense!”

“It does make sense,” Raindrop pointed out, shaking her head.

“Please, explain,” Sentinel entreated.

Raindrop paused, collecting her thoughts. “Ever since you were born, changelings have been the target of your hate. You worked them up as... as monsters in your mind. To you, they could do no good. They were a pure destructive force. They were everything evil in the world.”

Sentinel wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

Raindrop shushed him with a hoof. “But now... Chitin gave you something. She showed you something wonderful, even though... even though it was probably pretty painful to go through, it was still something that nopony else could ever show you. She let you be with your mother again, for just a little while. And she wasn’t doing it for herself. She wasn’t doing it as part of some big plan to be evil...”

Sentinel snorted once, his ears splaying back. “I... I guess...”

“You have valid reasons to hate them, Sentinel,” Raindrop said, kissing his nose gently and then hugging him close. “I’m proud that you can look past it rationally.”

“You’re proud of a lifetime of...” Sentinel stumbled over the next word, as though doubting its veracity, “of undeserved hatred?”

Raindrop shook her head gently. “No... more the fact that when presented with evidence of the opposite, you don’t just disregard it out-of-hoof. It’s actually conflicting with your nature... and it’s disturbing you. Shows strength of character.”

Sentinel gave a faint whine, rubbing at his forehead. “You’re starting to sound like Remedy.”

“She’s rubbing off on me,” Raindrop said with a shrug, rolling back over and wiggling back against her coltfriend. “Now quit being such a girl and use that soap over there as an excuse to put your hooves all over me like a real stallion should.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sentinel said, saluting her sarcastically before picking up the bar of soap, beginning to work it happily into Raindrop’s mane.

Comments

[HidingInfoFromBotnet]

Well, Sentinel is taking the whole revived dead thing better than I thought. I'm still going to be waiting for the one person who starts to go insane from seeing a dead person, or consistently asks for more time with them. Because I honestly do not see that situation panning out very well.

[Destructorspace]

That was... nice.
I'm liking the character development, and their relationship is inspiring warm and fuzzy feelings in me.

[Zoom zoom]

Sorry, must be annoyed because I just came off a long LONG series of a fic constantly using fillyfriend and coltfriend. So as soon as you used in I head banged. Mostly because they use girl and boy in the show and girlfriend is a word used in an episode if I remember right. So you can just use girlfriend and boyfriend, and I never got why this pun is so needed to use it EVERY time.

[Astarea]

Mmm I sense a lost chapter with some mighty fine bathroom adventure!

1456378 Because of something called immersion. Or perhaps because it's a well established mythos.

[q97randomguy]

1456258
*sigh* me too... What have I become?

[The Diplomat]

I dunno. My common sense is still twitchy
Still, I like where this is going. Keep up the good work

[Magical Trevor]

1456964 I believe the word(s) you're looking for is either desensitized, or conditioned. Just a guess, though. :3

[q97randomguy]

1458557
I'd guess desensitized.
Jury's still out on if I'm OK with that.

[StormyVenture]

I'm a little disappointed that what with all this confusion Sentinel is not concerned at all with whether Raindrop is Raindrop ( or that she's a changeling and theoretically possesses the same power to confuse/mess with him ) or the possibility that some other changeling might knock her off and replace her.

[djthomp]

Gotta love Raindrop & Sentinel, their chemistry together is so great.