• Published 5th Mar 2015
  • 5,175 Views, 108 Comments

Derpy Meets The Doctor - Heavyhauler75622



The humble mailmare of Ponyville wakes up one day to go to work. A nice, normal, everyday sort of day...until that day, and her world, changed forever.....

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Chapter Six: Changes

The coach covered the distance from Derpy’s home to Canterlot quickly. As it entered the approach vector for the Royal Courtyard, a Pegasus of the EUP flight wing, in her sky blue tight flightsuit, was flying an imaginary racetrack just above Canterlot. She dropped out and quickly closed up on the right side for a moment to get a good look at the vehicle. Her arrow launcher was still in ‘safe’ mode, though she had a foreleg near the switch. She noted the coach, the Nightwing Threstral team pulling it, and a flash of midnight blue inside. Nodding to herself as she ran the “expected arrival” list in her head, she broke formation and accelerated, no mean feat with the swiftly moving coach, taking her hoof away from the arming switch of the magical arrow launcher. Approaching the tower over the courtyard, she flashed a light signal; green, green, blue, then Spitfire broke and pulled high and away right to get back on her station’s racetrack, the countershaded cyan toned white underside of her suit now showing a bit since she wasn’t facing down in level flight. The two guards in the tower removed their hooves from the alert alarms and the concealed spear launchers in the overseeing walls, checked the roadway approach to make sure it wasn’t fouled, and lit the ‘clear to land’ light, a steady green, which the lead Nightwing Threstral pony on the coach picked up on.

Suddenly, the coach and team dived downward toward the courtyard. Although the Pegasus and Alicorn were comfortable with the sudden G change, the lightening of their bodies and the tightening straps startled the Unicorn and the Earth ponies. Button Mash even snapped his head up, a definite ‘Huh?’ on his face.

They closed rapidly on the approach road, only the leading Nightwings still beating wings for thrust; the next three pair were in glide, the coach closing fast. Just as the coach touched, the lead pair went to glide, as the next two backwinged HARD. The fourth pair turned their wings as flat against the airstream as they could, becoming airbrakes. The first pair continued to steer and maintain directional control as the coach decelerated like someone threw out an anchor. Once most of the high velocity was shed, they all furled up their wings, cantering to a stop exactly on the disembark point.

Scootaloo’s eyes were wide, tremendously impressed. Unfortunately, everyone else in the coach, save one, was having a hard time letting go of the now aptly named ‘chicken bars’.

Luna had already released her belt as the coach dropped below the usual ground velocity the team provided. Once it had stopped, she was already out the door, even before the Hoofpony had placed the step, with a wingbeat and a small drop. The Steward had barely enough time to duck his head slightly in respect before she was upon him.

“Steward, thou shalt take charge of the children. Escort them to their rooms and provide for their comforts. We will see them again shortly after We hath spoke with Our Sister. Prepare my cab and bid Our fastest dayflyers to ready themselves.” She cantered down the path to the castle door.

The Steward watched, amazed, as she left. He was suddenly aware of a small retching noise behind him. Turning, he saw the small Earth pony colt rejecting his breakfast. He decided to take pity on the boy.

“Here, Master Mash; one should not travel in a flying coach with one’s head down. The motions can make one nauseated.” He levitated a kerchief to Sweetie Bell, who mopped the cold flop sweat off the colt’s face. “Fortunately, the Infirmary is on the way, and we can procure a potion to treat that.” He beckoned to a Hoofmaiden. “Ask the Groundskeeper to please attend to the unfortunate results immediately, and have a Bellpony bring the luggage cart to unload the coach.” He swept around to the team lead Nightwing. “You may remove Her Majesty’s coach to the coach house right after we unload, and please, attend to your needs and those of your team afterward. Thank You. Dismissed.”

The Steward rounded up his charges with military precision, like the former Royal Guard Sergeant Major he was upon retirement.

“Ladyfillies and gentlecolt, I ask that you stay in attendance with me until we show you your rooms. Understand, Our Majesties are quite busy at times, and brook no nonsense. The dungeons are not often used anymore, but they are available.” Everypony looked at him uneasily with that statement.

“You will be given a short time to rest, and I expect you will probably need it, Master Mash, so please, avail yourselves of it. Princess Luna has asked that I give you the appropriate tour of the Castle and Grounds, though I believe the Young Cutie Mark Crusaders have been, already. Therefore, we shall embark on one of greater depth, so that you may learn even more. Master Mash, I will take possession of your device for the time being, sir. I have already procured Squires for each of you for your time here. The Bellpony has now completed loading your luggage, and we shall begin immediately. Please follow the Squires. I shall be following close behind to answer questions.”

The party started off to their rooms, as the team pulled the coach away. Dinky stared with wonder at the castle; her first time here. Button also was on his first visit, but he was still a bit green and not paying close attention; Sweetie Belle walked alongside him with the kerchief, a concerned look on her face. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were busy in animated discussions. Sar-Major Lance watched the two with a jaundiced eye; decades of watching soldiers’ trying to be clever was very useful for watching three girls well known for their escapades in trying to discover their Cutie Marks…

Luna authoritatively strode into the throne room unannounced, the Herald trailing helplessly in her wake. Celestia was busily digging through the Zebabwe treaty, sipping a cup of tea, as the Secretariat of State looked on nervously, a glassy smile on her face. Celestia, the Secretariat, and all four Royal Guards looked up as she entered.

“Luna! How are you?” Celestia asked, smiling warmly. “You’ve come back fairly quickly. Are the children all right? I didn’t expect you for another hour or so.”

Luna glanced at the Courtesan and the Guard. “Sister, We entreat thee, to speak with thee in thy apartments. We hath news for thee not to be shared amongst open ears.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. The unpleasantness with Nightmare Moon was still fairly recent, but Luna had made tremendous strides in becoming more modern and emotionally centered, though she still lapsed into Old Equestrian on occasion, usually in practical jokes, or when failing to remember to modulate calmly, usually while speaking in the Royal Canterlot Voice. Or when very nervous.

She rarely got rattled anymore. But she was distressingly rattled now. Celestia took it in hoof.

“Secretariat, Guards, We will be back in a moment. Avail yourselves in the meantime for refreshment and necessities. Sergeant, rotate the watch so that your fellow soldiers may partake. Understood?”

Depending on how green the watch was, sometimes it took a distinct push with her horn to get her soldiers to take any break offered, being well-drilled in duty, decorum, and such. But the current Watch Duty Senior NCO was an old hand, having been dunked several times over in the lovely dais fountain for not obeying the Guardian of the Sun, by the Guardian of the Sun herself, though Celestia never told his commanding officer. He bowed low.

“At once, your Majesties,” as he smiled slightly, remembering the very cold water. As Celestia and Luna retreated to the apartment, the sergeant raised a hoof and pointed to one subordinate. “You…yeah you, foal. Unglue you eyes from there, lest I proceed to kick your dock off this mountain for staring at the Kind Princess of the Night’s backside like that. Grab Flash Sentry, and hit the latrine and then the canteen. I expect you both back here in fifteen minutes ready to relieve the rest of the watch for their turn…”

Celestia led Luna to their abode in the castle, opening the door with her horn, then closing it behind them. Celestia stretched catlike, the Royal Firmament decidedly not demurely presented, should anypony decide to take a chance on a protracted lunar tour and open the door right then, as she reached along the floor with her forelegs.

“Oh, Luny, thank you for coming in and getting me out of that chair for a bit! And why I had that throne dais designed with operating waterfalls, I’ll never understand. They look beautiful, but after several cups of tea…” She stretched the other way, her front end raised, rear legs stretched behind. “That mare can drone on for HOURS about that treaty. You’d think we never talked to the Zebras, the way she wants to…”

Celestia suddenly stood stock still, staring at her agitated younger sister. “Luny…?” she asked, suddenly apprehensive.

“Thy Time Charger. He is here. In Ponyville.”

Celestia continued to stare, all playfulness gone. “Where?” she asked, all business.

“At the home of Derpy and Dinky Doo, Sister,” Luna said calmly, though inside, she was all jangly nerves.

“Describe him to me,” Celestia ordered, appearing even calmer, though inside, she wasn’t much better than Luna.

“I hath…” began Luna.

“Stop, Luna. Calm yourself. Remember how we speak now, rather than you getting all frazzled on verb and pronoun usage. Just tell me, calmly,” Celestia said.

Luna took a deep breath, pushing it out in a long sigh, cheeks puffing out. “Cely…it must be him. The appearance…it was the same, item by item. The coat, the long colorful tie, the collar. His dark brown spiked mane, the colors of his coat and his eyes, the Cutie Mark. All were there.”

“Did he recognize you?”

“No, Sister. He didn’t give the agreed-to sign, either. We bespoke…” she swallowed, rephrased “…talked briefly, but he certainly didn’t act like we’ve met before.”

“He can be a devious one, but I would think he wouldn’t bother in our encounters. This one may be one of those out of sequence occurrences of his that occur. It may even be the first.” Celestia rubbed her head with a forehoof.

“These temporal things always give me migraines, Luny. Do you really think it’s his first time right now?”

“It is eminently probable, Cely. I thought the first was the day we battled Discord for dominion over the planet. I couldn’t believe some insane pony was floating by in that blue box of his, taking “physical-gravimetric readings”, while we were going into a pitched battle with the Demigod of Chaos. Total insanity!”

“I remember...”

“Cely…he had a Nightmare last night, though at the time I did not know it was him. I went to him, along with my bodyguard Lionheart. As I came into his Nightmare to abate it, it reached out and tried to destroy me. It sought out my Nightmare to turn her loose on all of you once again. Such terrible things I saw in his sleep, and what appeared to be a biped opposing them…” she shuddered violently. Finding her voice again, she went on. “The only reason I have for not being exiled once more, or worse, is he somehow intervened, which stopped the evocation as he took his pain back and shouldered it alone. For that, I am eternally grateful. But if what he remembers is true, and I have no doubt it is so, we have an even greater problem to deal with. We are ill prepared to even resist a war that flames amongst the stars, much less undertake and fight one. If the Elements are even available without harming the Tree.”

“Your opinion of any other event that stands out for you?”

“Yes. Well, once I…returned,” she said delicately, with a slight cough “...I was surprised he showed up in our rooms with both of us there, carrying that silly cake, with the slightly squished icing that might have said, ‘Wecome Home, Woony!’ at one time, though it had gotten knocked about a bit. That fanciful tale about the Equestrian Heroines needing rescue from some obscure creatures bent on turning them into plastic dress forms or something in Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, while they were in Twilight Sparkle’s home…and how we agreed he’d let us know if he remembered us with that ridiculous salute with his right forehoof. That event by its nature wasn’t the first; the cake…”

“Demonstrated familiarity. I agree.” Celestia stared at the patterns in the sculpted carpet, thinking.

“There was also the thing he asked us for right after Discord,” Celestia said, finally, “…if a mare named Derpy Doo came to Canterlot University on a physics term of study, please give her support for any project she was involved in, but take possession of her equipment and research should she leave, for safety’s sake. And make sure it was isolated. Such an unusual request.”

“The Windigoes observation blind certainly is isolated, Cely. I never understood why you had that made. Nopony goes up there. The stairs up are long, narrow, and frequently iced up and treacherous, the winds very high and unpredictable. The hide itself is fairly flat and well supported by stone in the base…almost like a landing pad…”

Celestia smiled knowingly. “Exactly how I had it built.”

“In expectation, Sister?”

“Of course,” Celestia said calmly.

“And the Time Charger?”

“Perhaps it is time to re-establish our long standing relationship for the first time.” The Blessed Beneficent Light of Equestria sighed calmly. “To where should we ask him to come?”

“Not the outer courtyard; too many about there. The inner is more private and better secured, but still under perusal by the staff too frequently. And the throne room spot,” Luna thought about the slightly darker floor tiles along one wall, the outline of which carefully followed the external dimensions of the TARDIS footprint, and kept clear at all times, “…is only for a quick stop, with all the business conducted in there. That leaves both of our apartments, the basement storage cellar, and Alcove Six in the Palace Labyrinth.”

Celestia gave a brief glance at her mane, which was flowing its usual selection of pastel colors, not that lavender that showed up ‘when she was in the mood’. She sighed, and eliminated both sets of apartments. “Well, I certainly won’t shock that stallion by having him pop into our bedrooms. And the cellar is more for him to remain clandestine.” That particular room had been warded and enchanted to reduce its imprint on reality, a sort of bolt-hole for The Doctor and the Princesses in case something inimical was wandering about. That left…

“Alcove Six, then, as usual.” Celestia led them from the apartments after visiting the bathroom. Flying up to the dais and calling forth pen and parchment-like paper from the scribe desk with her aura, Celestia began copying the symbols The Doctor had left behind after Discord; precise location mapping for that particular spot. The writing and strange circular patterns were indecipherable to her, despite many attempts over the past centuries she had endeavored to understand them. All seven had been carefully laid out and engraved into the floor precisely on the top level floor of the throne dais, alongside some others, cleverly hidden in plain view around the Equestrian Throne, a lovely, unusual pattern of coordinates only a Time Charger could understand.

Luna jumped slightly. “What about…?” she said ardently.

“If it is, we shall know soon enough, correct? Best not to dwell upon that until the proper conditions are established,” Celestia said, as she penned the message.

“True. Celestia, you will have to send further word through Twilight’s Assistant Spike for them to remain with the Equestrian Heroines at the Golden Oak Library as well. I will send my cab to gather them from there.”

“The moment I finish this task, Sister, though if you could write the letter yourself, it would speed the process considerably,” Celestia mused. Luna also brought forth writing materials and started to write with her aura as well. After the letter, she also cut orders for the Guard Pegasi pulling the cab, to be delivered by messenger.

“I SO wanted to move that labyrinth out,” Luna said, peevishly. “Every creature on this planet knows the route through it by now. I even found it online. A lovely badminton court, pickleball, tennis singles or doubles. And all that room left over…” Badminton was so much fun, she thought to herself!

“We’ll re-arrange the statuary in the garden, dear Sister, and you can put one there, and marked for all the games. At least you got over that beach volleyball phase you had,” Celestia said, smiling sagely as she teleported both the letters and the symbol-covered paper she had rolled into a scroll, using a good approximation of the green dragonfire Spike used; a spell she found very useful.

Luna hung her head, embarrassed. “Its loads of fun, Cely…but that sand gets everywhere. I didn’t realize it could be so…intimate…”

The chafing had proved to be intolerable.


The little party crested the last hill, and ‘John’ got his first look at Ponyville. In the valley below, a quaint village nestled, the English architecture repeated there, though a few buildings were obviously different. Like the windmill. Very much Dutch. A Victorian Town Hall. Some Bavarian Alpy bakery. A miniature clock tower more in line with Westminster. A boutique that looked like…French, maybe?

Somehow, the styling worked, though he hadn’t a clue how. Most things like that would clash horribly. They worked together here.

His attention was drawn to a train station similar to one late nineteenth or early twentieth century American towns had. Rail, even? Where did the rails lead to? More architectural blundering about?

What a confused mashup. He spotted the train headed north on the rails. Late nineteenth century steam locomotive. Pulled by a team of…ponies?

Amazing.

As they walked over the bridge built over the stream, ‘John’ went to the side, stared at it, then crossed over and looked at it from the stream bank. Éire. Ireland. Right out of the Emerald Isle. It wasn’t just amazing, anymore…this was becoming inconceivable. He turned, quickly caught up to Twilight and Derpy, before his following shadow decided to nudge him along with a gesture.

The place was packed with ponies, every color, race, kind imaginable. Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth types bustled about everywhere. ‘John’ started to grin.

“Look at all of you! Going where you go, doing what you do!” A few started to turn and watch the little band. “Curiosity! Pony curiosity! Have to know who, what, where, when, why and how! Just look at you!” The grin widened. “I just love ponies, oh yes, I do!”

Twilight Sparkle was becoming amused with ‘John’s’ exuberance. Ironic, she thought, how a stranger made you look at things through new eyes. You’d think the stallion had never seen more than six ponies in a group before.

“‘John’…you’ve never been to Ponyville before?” Derpy asked incredulously. Wasn’t he the stallion going everywhere with blue boxes? she thought. Everypony traveling came through Ponyville eventually, even if you were just going somewhere else. Something wasn’t quite right here…

“Nope. Never been. Look, over there! What a lovely cart of flowers! Let’s go look!” he started toward the cart as the group followed, less one Alicorn that had to double back after she realized she was walking alone.

He glanced through the offerings, picked up a particularly lovely peach colored rose with orangish petal edges. “For my savior," he said kindly, presenting the flower to Derpy, who blushed as she took it. The mare by the cart smiled a lovely smile.

“I approve wholeheartedly, Derpy, he’s absolutely right,” Roseluck said warmly. She gently took the flower, set it in her mane by her left ear. “Nasturtium or orchid would be even better, but I’m out of those. Somepony came by earlier and bought all my nasturtium, they were so hungry.”

John goggled. They ate those lovely things? Hmmm…

“That will be two bits, sir.” Roseluck smiled. The blood drained out of ‘John’s’ face.

“Er…bits. Money, eh? Well…” he said, thoroughly embarrassed, as he rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof.

Derpy smiled a little self-conscious smile. She turned around, started digging around in her saddlebag. “How in the world can you travel so much without money, ‘John’?” she asked. Just as her hoof touched a couple of coins, Roseluck touched her shoulder with a foreleg.

“Derpy, don’t worry. It’s far too lovely; it just looks perfect there on you. You can always give me one of your famous muffins later.” She winked boldly, nodded toward the perplexed stallion. “And we can talk all about it then,” she said meaningfully, chuckling.

Derpy blushed. Mightily. So did ‘John’.

Twilight gathered them together once more and herded them back toward the library. Roseluck kept chuckling. She fancied herself quite the amateur matchmaker, usually because couples sooner or later came to visit her wares, or stallions (and occasionally, mares), took the step to her cart to either profess their love, or buttress their apologies when they put a hoof wrong. She was the first to predict the Lyra/BonBon couple accurately, as well as being the one to quash the lurid and idle speculation over Vinyl and Octavia.

And unless she was sorely mistaken, Derpy was now off the market. It’s why she put ‘John’s’ flower behind Derpy’s left ear. The guy certainly appeared to have the brains of Pinkie Pie or FlufflePuff, but he was tremendously genuine. Good for her, Roseluck thought. She was always so nice.

But just in case…she decided to start a file when she got home…

Twilight opened the door to her library, ushered the party inside. The group of ponies standing inside the door turned and looked, as well as one young dragon. ‘John’s’ eyes widened in surprise.

“Aw, that’s brilliant! Is that…is he a dragon?” ‘John’ trotted up to Spike. “Are you a dragon?”

Spike flinched slightly under the scrutiny. “Uh…”

“A dragon! And a sentient one, too! Told you, its brilliant!” He trotted around the library, staring, as he read the spines of books. “Look at these! What a culture, to have such varied and interesting subjects!”

Derpy wilted slightly as the Equestrian Heroes, also known as the Mane Six, looked at her. She wasn’t comfortable with scrutiny, and they were definitely scrutinizing her now. ‘John’ was still mumbling and gushing as he took in the second level of books.

Twilight Sparkle took the lead. “Girls, Princess Luna wants us to keep an eye on him.”

Applejack whispered dubiously. “Us? On him? How y’all planning to do that, Twi?”

“Well, let’s rein him in a bit, first. Derpy, would you please go and get ‘John’? And please, have him come back down so I can introduce him.”

A giggly squeak sounded from a pink ball of energy at the end of the group. “Oooh, can I do it, Twi? He’s so different from everypony else! I want to ask him what kind of party he wants, the usual ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, or an even bigger ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party!” She grinned a friendly, maniacal grin. “Which do you think he’d like?” she finished expectantly.

Twilight turned a pained look of patience on Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, Derpy knows him best at the moment. Let her get him, and you can ask him a bit later which one he would like better.” She looked back at Derpy. “Please, Derpy?”

Derpy sighed, flapped upward toward ‘John’, who was now out on the high balcony, looking through the telescope.

“What’s with him?” asked Rainbow Dash, watching as the chestnut stallion was back to wandering from bookshelf to bookshelf again, totally absorbed in the books. She was not one to enjoy being ignored, and was feeling a bit miffed. Derpy had missed him completely on her way up, and had to backtrack.

“I have no idea, darling, but, I must say, I do enjoy his sense of style,” Rarity said blissfully. “That coat of his is just so chic, I can barely contain myself!”

“Not too sure about his manners,” said Spike grumpily.

“Spike, I don’t think he means to be unkind,” Twilight said, laying a loving foreleg around the shoulders of her Number One Assistant. “I just don’t think he can help it. He’s a lot like Pinkie Pie like that.”

“He is? Yayyy!” Pinkie Pie cheered for a moment, then stopped suddenly. “Wait, what?”

Twilight shrugged in supplication. “See?” she said with a smile.

Spike harrumphed a bit, but let it go.

“Let’s keep it friendly, like Luna wanted. She’s concerned enough to ask that we stay together for a bit, at least until she sends her cab. It wouldn’t hurt to ask some questions, either. Spike, would you get something for everypony to drink, and ask if they would like a little something to nibble on? Please?” Twilight asked.

Spike glared, arms folded.

“Oh, Spikey, don’t be like that. Come, I’ll help you,” Rarity said, with a cute wink at Twilight Sparkle.

Rarity on occasion took very mild advantage of Spike’s crush on her. Such as this one. Spike almost instantly transformed, with a bright, “Sure, Rarity!” as the two of them left for the kitchen.

A sweet, quiet voice came from the back. “Um…Twilight? You and Luna don’t think he’s dangerous, do you?” Fluttershy asked, the tips of her forehooves gently tapped against each other nervously as she sat on her cushion.

“I don’t know, Flutts. Neither does Princess Luna. We’re just taking precautions.” About that time, Derpy had managed to get ‘John Smith’ back down to the first floor where everyone waited, just as Rarity appeared with the drinks, apple juice in this case.

Derpy gently nudged the mildly protesting stallion to the proper position, then sat him down, fussing with his tie again. When she finished, she sat down next to him.

Well, that was...interesting, Twilight thought. She likes him. And she’s a pretty good judge of character.

“Doctor ‘Smith’, these are my friends. Rarity,” she gestured, “…and Applejack, the quiet yellow one in the back is Fluttershy,” she said as the face peeked out behind Applejack, “…the blue one flying around is Rainbow Dash, and the bouncy pink one there is Pinkie Pie. And you’ve already met Spike. Everyone, this is…”

“’Smith’. ‘John Smith’. Call me Doctor," he said charmingly.

Several pairs of eyes regarded the odd stallion. Doctor?

Derpy stepped in. “He’s an engineer, builds things. He’s working on a special project for public call boxes. One of them accidentally ended up in my backyard. They’re supposed to come and get it, and finish taking it to Canterlot, right, ‘John’?”

“Oh, yeah. Didn’t quite get where it was supposed to. I want to talk to Princess Celestia about that.”

He brightened a bit. “Fascinating library you have here, Princess Twilight. All sorts of books and things. Even scrolls. Been getting things on magnetized tape yet? How about photography? Have to stay away from cellulose; rubbish, really. Breaks down. Have anything on chips yet, or disks?”

Twilight goggled. Downstairs in her lab area, she had just been experimenting with cellulose film media for storage of photodocuments. Before she could pursue the thought further, Pinkie Pie jumped in.

“Chips? Corn chips, potato chips, hay chips, and all the dip you could want! Do you like parties? Would you like a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, or the super-y, duper-y, ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party?”

‘John Smith’ goggled now. “Erm…why do you think I need a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party?” he asked cautiously.

“Because you’re not from around here, silly!” she giggled excitedly.

‘John’ paled in a mild panic. Everypony else just chalked it up as Pinkie being Pinkie. Spike considered for a bit, but went along with the consensus. But Derpy watched him closely.

Pinkie Pie pressed the point. “Where are you from, Doctor Mister ‘John Smith’?”

“Croupwich…” he said. “That’s it, Croupwich.” The staring scrutiny of the pink one was intense now. He rubbed a hoof on the back of his head nervously. “Lovely place. You should see it sometime.”

“Croupwich? I don’t think I’ve met anypony from there before! Do you do fun things there, like piñatas? Pin the tail on the pony? Cupcakes?” Pinkie asked, almost vibrating with hyperenergy as she stared at him.

‘John’ just gaped at her, completely nonplussed. Inside himself, he felt the strength and character of an individual that had caused some of the worst sorts of tyrants and villains in the universe to quietly tiptoe out a back door rather than face The Oncoming Storm…yet here he was, completely stoppered up by one apparently over-caffeinated, sucrose-wired mare.

Confusing, that.

Twilight stepped in to rescue ‘John’ once more. “Pinkie…” she said quietly.

“What?” Pinkie said, stunned by the interruption. She saw Twilight’s face, and then ‘John’s’.

“Too much again?” she said, a bit calmer, though the irrepressible bouncing remained. Twilight smiled gently.

Girl’s got a nice touch with her friends, ‘John’ observed. Obviously the leader. And a good one. She’s come to his rescue twice now, and with a very soft handle both times. Have to get to know her better.

“Princess, mind if I checked out some books? I love reading, best pastime there is. Tellys are rubbish. How do I go about it?” ‘John’ asked in his staccato manner.

Twilight found herself a bit out of bounds with that, but recovered quickly. “Well, if you’re planning to be around…”

“Just a couple of light readers for me, something in recent history, and a nice tome on the basis and basics of magic, if I may. I could always leave them at Derpy’s lovely home, should I get called away suddenly.”

Twilight decided on a kind smile. “Sure, why not? If you have some identification…”

“Right.” He pulled out his little folio of papers in its wallet. Boldly winking at Derpy, he held up the first one. “How’s this?”

Twilight frowned as she read the blank sheet. “I’m sorry…what’s the Bank of England?” she asked, confused.

“Oh! That’s a little joke my mates pulled once…dreadfully sorry about that. Here’s the right one…”

“Oh, I see…St. John’s Ambulance, Croupwich. President and CEO, one Doctor St. ‘John Smith’. Wow, that’s quite a mouthful…” she copied it onto a small card she had summoned to her with her magic; teleporting it to her with a small pop, along with a quill pen. ‘John’s’ eyes had widened at the new magic ability he observed, but said nothing as he held the folio still.

Derpy watched carefully. After Twilight had finished the borrower’s card, she had popped it to her check-out desk, while ‘John’ had turned to watch, fascinated. During the process, he had held the sheaf of papers still in her line of vision for a moment, before putting it away after Twilight’s spell. Derpy felt the blood rushing through her head.

The paper was still blank.

Now, Derpy was a very sensible mare, and wasn’t into histrionics over things. She had an impulse to ask about the little wallet, but for all her sensibility, she still, every once in awhile, felt self-conscious about what she thought she saw, given her eyes. Rather than ask, she decided to keep it to herself, at least for the time being.

But should an opportunity present itself, one Doctor St. ‘John Smith’ was in for an in-depth grilling, as he picked out two books with Twilight’s help.

The others hadn’t seen any of this; Applejack was in serious discussion with Rainbow Dash over apple cider, Pinkie Pie reviewing party options with occasional noncommittal answers from Fluttershy, and Rarity by herself, madly sketching away on the sketchpad she kept with her all sorts of trench coat options for stallions as she thought about a new customer base. Dynamics shifted around as new information and conversants were added and subtracted; Applejack and Fluttershy started discussing the vampire fruit bats again, (a favorite topic between the two), Rarity and Rainbow Dash about ‘John’s’ coat and female versions, and Pinkie now deep into party planning by herself.

Not for the first time, Derpy felt herself the third wheel in a group. She almost jumped with a start when Spike belched, a peculiar look on his face, and a scroll fell to the floor.

Spike picked it up, read the seal. “It’s for you, Twilight,” he said, eager to be helpful. Derpy felt for him; she was glad he had something to contribute now. She was sorta wishing she could belch up something important, too.

Suddenly, Twilight was looking at her. She shifted a bit self-consciously, then steeled herself as she put her humor back on. It helped.

“Derpy, Princess Celestia is asking me to stay here, and you and ‘John’ to go on ahead.” She glanced over at the chestnut pony, who was trotting over with a bag holding the two books in his mouth. “It seems I’m unneeded for now, though she sent a message to ‘John’ directly in this envelope.” She held it up; it had been rolled up inside the scroll. Derpy took it and put it in the bag with the books, a muffled “Fank hyou” coming from ‘John’ as he tried to talk around the bag handle. Derpy smiled.

There was a quiet knock on the door, as Lionheart announced the arrival of the cab. Hugs were exchanged all around, even by a disappointed Pinkie Pie, who was almost finished with the preliminary “Welcome to Equestria” party planning for ‘John’. Derpy took the bag and put it on her own saddlebag harness, opposite her own. Pinkie managed to elicit a promise from ‘John’ to have the party as soon as he could, but Twilight directed her attention elsewhere with an obscure question on piñata rules at the opportune moment, just before Pinky went through her usual litany, ending up with a cupcake real or imagined sprouting from an eye socket.

They all went outside, even Spike, looking at the cab and the four powerful Pegasi pulling it, the more normal flight goggles on their faces. Twilight pulled the couple aside for a moment as the others looked the cab and team over appreciatively.

“‘John’, I’m supposed to tell you…open the envelope when you arrive at your destination. Not now, and especially not later. Lionheart is supposed to return with you. And Good Luck,” she said, smiling.

“Eh? Why that, Twilight?” ‘John’ asked, perplexed.

“My letter even covered that. The answer I’m to give you for any question is…‘spoilers’, ‘John’. Nothing else. I have no idea why just that, but I trust Celestia, and Luna implicitly. Safe Journey,” she finished with a backward glance, as she walked away toward her friends.

‘John’ looked at Derpy, who shrugged with one foreleg. He shook his head as they both boarded the cab.

“Big mystery about this. Wonder why?” he said to her. Lionheart helped them put on the safety belts, and then checked them. The instructions Twilight relayed to him were explicit…insure their safety, and then accompany them until he received new orders.

With final waves and goodbyes, the cab and its team pulled along the road for a few feet before lifting into the air as Twilight and the Equestrian Heroines watched. Lionheart followed obediently, slightly below and behind the cab. Once airborne and away, they turned as one to stare at Twilight. She nodded sagely.

“Inside, girls. Spike, you and Rarity please finish the food and more drinks for all of us. I have quite a story to tell you. And it’s one I can hardly believe myself.” Princess Twilight Sparkle said wonderingly.

Her friends took one look at her, and quickly, silently filed back inside.


A few minutes later, the cab landed outside of Derpy’s home. The Pegasi came to a stop right at the front gate.

‘John Smith’ was puzzled. “Oi, why are we here? Castle! This isn’t Princess Celestia’s and Luna’s castle, it’s hers!” he said, pointing at Derpy, who was thoroughly confused.

“Orders, sir,” the lead Pegasus said, as Lionheart landed next to him. “My orders are direct from Our Most Benevolent Majesties. I have been told you have, ‘…other arrangements…’," he quoted from memory, “…available to you, and they request that you come there by those means. The Royal Guard Nightwing Threstral Lionheart has been recalled from his duty concerning you, as it is deemed unnecessary and heavy-hooved. The Princesses offer their complements, and have made accommodation, outlined in their letter to you. They do ask that you keep your letter away from other ponies, save Madame Derpy, and come as soon as you are able. Please, exit and take care. Good Luck and Safe Travel,” he offered sincerely

Derpy and ‘John Smith’ exited the cab as asked, and watched it wing away. Lionheart tarried behind for a moment.

“Mister ‘Smith’...I am glad to have met you. For some reason, I feel as if you assisted my Princess in her distress last night. I am grateful for that. Should you have need, speak to the Steward at the Castle. He will know where to find me.” He adjusted his sun goggles, tightening the straps. “I offer Good Luck and Safe Travel as well. Goodbye,” he said in a heartfelt manner, just before he took off and winged away.

Depy sat down with a thump in her front yard. “What in the hay just went on?” she asked, mystified.

“No idea. Well. Let’s have a look at that letter.” He reached into the bag, pulled it out and opened it. And started to grin.

“Derpy, luv…go inside and gather up your college science and engineering books, and your notes, and put them in saddlebags so I can carry them for you.” He looked at her, his happiness gaining momentum. “Time for a change. Oh, yes, time for a very big, big change!”

She unlocked the door, then found a saddlebag pair with enough room for the books, as ‘John Smith’ tossed the two new ones inside by the reading nook. Once Derpy loaded it up, he put it on.

“There! That’s better! Adventure!” He locked the front door from the inside, went to the back, unlocked it, giving Derpy a gentle push with his head out the door and into the backyard. “Lock it up, luv, time to go!” He produced his own key as he walked up to the blue box. Just before he unlocked it, he turned to her.

“Oh, I have something for you, Derpy.” He produced the second key from a pocket. “That’s yours, for as long as you want it. Lifetime, even.” He hung it gently around her neck as the mare suddenly became very shy. “It’s for these very doors. Your very own.” He put his in the door, unlocked it. Giving a slight push, the door squeeked as it swung open into the box. “After you, my dear!”

Derpy suddenly became apprehensive. “Why?” she said, very softly. It was just a box, wasn’t it? What was going on?

The Doctor stood before her. “Because you were right, all those years ago.” He pointed to her books. “You were absolutely right. It’s all inside them. And you deserve to know just how right you were.” He smiled at her, the mania gone, as he gestured inside.

She hesitantly stepped just inside with some trepidation. And her eyes flew open wide in astonishment.

There was a ramp. And at the top, a console. Inside a huge room with organically-shaped pillars supporting a distant ceiling. She turned around, looked back at the small blue doors on the side of a blue box. Then turned around again and took in the massive room.

She walked back outside, walked around the box, rapidly doing the math for a volume estimate in cubic meters, then walked back inside and up the ramp, trying to match up the exterior calculation with the hemispherical interior room, (one of several, she was sure), that she was looking at. And failing completely.

She took in the chestnut colored stallion grinning at her, as she turned around and sat down inside, facing the doors. A few seconds later, The Doctor stood alongside of her, concerned.

Her eyes were closed, in a face of fierce concentration. The Doctor became concerned, as she had neither said the usual, ‘…it’s bigger on the inside,’ or the converse statement, ‘…it’s smaller on the outside.’ In fact, she hadn’t said anything at all.

“Derpy, luv…everything all right?” he asked, concerned.

“‘John’…don’t you think, ever?” she said, upset, as the tears welled up in her, splashed to the ramp unchecked.

He stood stock still, shocked.

“‘John’…after this…after you’ve shown me this incredible machine…how do you think I could ever go back to being a mailmare?” she said, openly sobbing now.

He sat down next to her, as she wrapped her forelegs around him, holding on to him as her former life slipped away from her. A wail of despair escaped as she cried, holding on with everything she could. The rose fell from her ear to the floor, unnoticed.

He softly stroked the blond mane. All he could say was, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” over and over again, as she wept.