• Published 28th Feb 2015
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dC/dt ≠ 0 - I Thought I Was Toast



A look into changeling and pony culture as changelings attempt to integrate and make peace with Equestria.

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Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) Part 2

I won’t go into all the details of our talk for it was long and not for the academically faint of heart. We sat there for hours, and—while she didn’t fully believe everything ve told her—she was studious enough to be constantly taking notes.

The tenuous balance we had struck could only last so long, however. It was a little after noon that a small scaly interloper intruded upon us.

“Hey, Twilight!” A voice cut into our conversation. “I know you said not to bother you after you pull an all-nighter, but it’s officially noon and you didn’t come down for breakfast. I thought you might like some—”

I was currently facing the other way from talking to Twilight, but I flinched as the newcomer’s gaze fell on me and bathed me with bitterness and sour milk.

“Oh… you were talking with him.”

I turned to face the metaphorical dragon in the room and was met with an actual dragon. I could see his muscles tense as my eyes locked onto him, and his breathing grew ever-so-slightly more haggard.

The sour taste of curdled milk in the air nearly had my head spinning, making me incredibly thankful I was still maintaining my emotional filter. I would have gotten more than a taste of his fears had I not.

“Now, Spike,” Twilight chided. “We talked about this last night.”

I felt Spike’s emotions spike for a second. Even with the filter on, I briefly saw a flash of something. There was chittering wings and skittering claws—all swarming about in the shadows.

“We need to be willing to give the changelings a chance” Twilight looked up from her notes to smile at Spike. “We gave Discord a chance, and that worked out beyond all expectations. Don’t you think the changelings are almost a step down from that?”

“Yes, Twilight.” Spike’s mouth drew itself in a straight line.

“Good!” she said, clapping her hooves together.

“Yeah, whatever….” Spike ran into the hall and pushed a cart laden with food into the room. “Anyways, I thought you might like some lunch while you were working on whatever project you were doing.” He snorted and muttered under his breath. “Even if that project happens to be talking to the one of the things responsible for brainwashing our brother.”

Twilight’s smile turned shaky, and I internally sighed as all my progress was lost.

I wanted to curse to the Azure Veil, but this was my fault. I had lost myself to the conversation for a while. If I’d really cared about wasting time, I wouldn’t have humored so many of Twilight’s tangential questions. I’d been having fun instead of focusing on my mission, though, and now there was a scaley obstacle in the way.

And he was messing everything up.

If there was one thing I learned leading the changelings, though, it’s how important it is to know when to hide behind a facade and when to lower the mask.

I smiled before taking care of the easy part—the façade. “Well, I for one am starving after skipping breakfast. Thank you for the lunch, Spike, but Twilight and I have research to get back to. Right, Twilight?”

Twilight gave a muted nod, and I continued on. “Unfortunately, we were just about to talk about changeling reproductive habits.” Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but I shot her a look and arched an eyebrow. She closed her mouth and I continued. “While I have no idea if you’ve been given the talk on the birds and the bees, I do know that changeling reproduction tends to make even the hardiest of individuals turn a sickly, green pallor.”

I pointedly omitted the fact that changelings have green blood and thus blush green.

I waved a hoof at the cart. “In fact, this lovely lunch will most likely have to wait until after our discussion as projectile vomiting is going to be a severe hazard.”

I gently pushed Spike and his protests of not being a kid anymore out the door to our little alcove. “If you’d be so kind as to set lunch up in the dining hall, I’m sure Twilight and I will be down momentarily. Now, if you’d excuse us please.”

The dragon glared at me for a second before opening his mouth to retort.

Twilight saw this and decided to step in. “Spike, don’t worry about him. He can’t harm anypony while he’s here.”

Spike grumbled to himself as he pushed the cart back down the hall. Some of the words out of his mouth would make even sailors blush. Really, it was a wonder what living in a library did for one’s vocabulary.

Turning back to Twilight I dropped the cheery façade. “Alright, Twilight. I was going to bring this up more tactfully, but that’s not really an option anymore. It’s time for the direct approach. Are you afraid of me?”

Twilight squirmed. “I wouldn’t say—“

I cut her off. “Don’t avoid the question.”

“Yes— No— Maybe. I don’t know….” She sighed. “I thought I was okay after the meeting yesterday…. If there’s one thing I learned from Discord, it’s that I should at least give even the vilest of villains a chance at redemption….”

I snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“You know that’s not what I mean!” Twilight snapped. Her ears fell flat at her outburst, and she continued in a much more subdued voice. “From what I have to go on, you’re nowhere near as bad as Chrysalis, and you’re both miles below where Discord used to be. No, nothing was wrong until I told Spike about you…. He was… less than pleased, and we got into an argument over it. Some of the things he said… I know they were harsh, but I can’t help but wonder to some degree.”

Our tongue clicked against the roof of our mouth as ve mulled over her confession and whether or not we should reveal just how strongly Spike felt.

Sighing, ve relented. It wouldn’t be proper, but it was something I knew Twilight needed to know. “Ve guess ve should have expected that your friends would influence you against me just as much as you might influence them into helping me.”

I looked to the doorway Spike had left through. “Tell me, though. Do you know just how afraid Spike feels? I could feel waves of negative emotion coming off him, even with the castle drowning almost everything else out. He absolutely, completely loathes me.” I shook my head, cutting off Twilight as she tried to respond. “And don’t take that lightly. The fact ve are willing to share his emotional state means it’s a serious problem.”

I pawed nervously at the ground. “It’s somewhat of an unspoken courtesy among changelings not to share what another individual is feeling if they’re purposely trying to hide it from others. Even telling you he hates me more than you know feels like an invasion of privacy.”

Twilight stared to where her assistant had left. “He really feels that strongly?”

I nodded.

“And I suppose you’d be unwilling to show me just how strongly he feels with that spell you mentioned from earlier?”

I hesitantly nodded again. “That would be too great an invasion of privacy, especially considering how strong he feels. This is something you and him need to work out on your own. That’s the whole reason I even told you anything. Anything more… manipulative… would simply make things worse.”

I tasted a hint of the driest of wines in the air as Twilight slumped in her seat. “Well, if that’s how it has to be, that’s how it has to be.” She smiled weakly. “Still… It’s nice to see you care for him a little, even if he doesn’t care for you. Not many ponies would think about Spike’s privacy in that situation.”

I tapped the side of my head. “Always remember the first lesson when dealing with changelings: information is power. And that means knowing when it’s better to keep something to yourself. Ve could have simply shown you, but you haven’t necessarily earned that right yet in Spike’s mind. You need to reach out to him yourself to earn that. Isn’t that all part of your reports on friendship? The trials of friendship only lead to making you better friends?”

Twilight laughed. “Do you actually have those reports in that head of yours?”

I grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head. “Mother was forced to read most of them by Princess Celestia during her infiltration. She may have found them to be garbage, but ve found them rather refreshing. Ve saw the trust you and your friends placed in each other, and… well… that was what led to this whole integration idea.”

“So you actually are her son then?” Twilight chuckled. “I couldn’t be sure even with your title.”

“Is… that a problem?” I bit my chops.

“No.” Twilight shook her head. “But I find it incredibly ironic. Chrysalis’ greatest success was sowing the seeds for possible peace.”

She turned her head towards the construct in the middle of the library. “You know… I wouldn’t mind you casting that spell on me now—the one to let me feel the castle’s feelings. We could do that and then go join Spike for lunch to talk about the results.”

I blinked. “A-are you sure?”

Twilight smiled warmly and waved for me to come closer. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m also pretty sure that permission from before still stands, since you never actually cast the spell. I’d rather not go through all that pomp and circumstance again, so why don’t you just come over here and cast it?”

I joined Twilight and together we went to the edge of the railing to stare out towards the construct. It turned one of its gyroscopic arms to stare at us, and I shivered.

“Strange how I never noticed it acting that way before.” Twilight mused, bracing herself for the spell.

My horn’s aura ignited, and I touched my horn to Twilight’s head. A spark flew between us, and in my mind’s eye I crafted the results of the spell.

First, I laid down a second filter so that any and all input coming through me wouldn’t overwhelm her. Second ve established her connection with the hivemind. With our different brain chemistries, there was no place to naturally connect the hivemind to, and thus ve needed to scrounge up our knowledge of pony anatomy in the archives. I carefully divvied up the hiveminds many functions to their closest pony equivalents in the brain.

I was reaching my limits by this point—hungry as I was—but ve knew ve couldn’t actually finish the connection without an one final tweak. The spell was meant for two changelings to transfer emotions and memories in a way they could instinctually control and understand.

Twilight wasn’t a changeling, though. She didn’t have those instincts, so ve printed an impression of them on her that would wear off with the rest of the spell.

Double and triple checking my work, I finally released the spell to see Twilight’s pupils shrink at the influx of new data.

She cocked her head to the side, rolling her head and shoulders. Her face scrunched up like a raisin as the raw data gave way to the first step of interpretation. “Ve can’t get the taste of coffee stained old books out of my mouth.” She blinked. “Odd… Did I just say ve?”

I laughed and shook my head. Of course it’d end up being books with her. “That would be my bad. Your wiring is a bit different, and that gave us some difficulties. You’re probably just mixing all the emotions together without meaning to. Try splitting them apart. I’ll help you understand them if you still can’t read them then.”

I chuckled as her brow furrowed in heavy concentration. “Don’t force it. Just do what feels right with the instincts ve provided.”

Her face wrinkled further for a second until things suddenly clicked, and she relaxed, replacing her grimace with a grin. “Woah! I did it! I did it! Okay, so now I’m tasting two things at once—three actually. This is so weird. I thought the taste thing was a metaphor, but it’s like I’m actually tasting things in my mouth.”

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah, ponies don’t have an exact equivalent in their brains for what we do, so ve had to hook the emotional interpretation system to your physical senses. It could be more than just taste, though. Some changelings compare it to visualizing or hearing the emotions. It kind of varies. You mentioned books?”

Twilight nodded, scuffing her hoof on the ground as she mulled things over. “Yeah, there’s two books and a cup of the most delicious coffee I’ve ever had. Now that you mention it I can almost see the books themselves.” She closed her eyes and leaned over the rail. “One of them is immaculately cared for. It’s a pristine edition of my first and favorite Daring Do book. The other book is so ragged and worn I can’t read the title, and stains seem to dot the cover.”

I watched Twilight carefully as we came to the real test. “Alright then. I don’t normally get visualizations, but it’s supposedly the easiest form of input to understand. What do those images make you feel?”

Twilight leaned forward even more. She was dangerously close to sliding over the edge now. “Hrmm… well… there’s nothing as comforting as a hot coffee during a long cold night of studying. It’s always there to pick you up when you need to keep going. I have nothing but fond memories of that Daring Do book; I could always read it and have fun whenever my BBBFF was too busy. The last book just looks so… lost and alone. It isn’t worn down with dog ears caused by love and attention. It was chewed by the dog and dragged to a corner where no one ever found it. Love, comfort and loneliness. That’s what it’s feeling….”

I smiled and let the small electric tingle of pride slip past my carefully constructed filter.

Unfortunately, Twilight wasn’t really prepared for that, and she was leaning precariously over a ledge to get a better reading from the construct. She yelped and jumped like I’d zapped her before tumbling over the edge.

I stood, staring like an idiot at the space she had occupied for a couple of seconds.

“Well that’s not good….”

“I’m alright” Twilight finally called from below, flapping back over the railing to land in a heap on the floor. Her breath was coming in small gasps, and her pupils were dilated, but that was better than wiping a princess pancake off the library floor.

“I’m alright.” She stretched as she got up, and I heard the crack of joints being released from nervous tension. “Just warn me next time you’re about to do… whatever that was.” She glared at me. “And tell me what the hay that was!”

I shrugged. “Sorry. I got so wrapped up in what we were doing I forgot you weren’t a changeling. That was just our equivalent of a good job and a pat on the back. We literally transfer our approval to the individual in question.”

Her gaze softened. “Oh… okay…. Just try to warn me next time, assumining there even is one. As interesting as being able to sense emotions is, it’s kind of overwhelming.”

“That’s what filters are for.” I nodded. “I was filtering most of my emotions out of what you were getting so you wouldn’t need to deal with even more information. Want me to take the spell off now that you got a taste?”

She nodded. “Yeah. If Spike’s at lunch, having it on is a bad idea.”

I tilted my head to the side. “To lunch then?”

Twilight nodded and smiled at me. “To lunch!”

As we walked out of our little alcove and down the hall, I could swear the construct was still staring at me as we left. I forced myself to ignore it, however, so I could pay attention to my host.

“I think you’ll find that Spike’s an amazing cook. He’s also too picky to ruin any of his dishes, so you don’t have to worry about him ruining the food just because you’re…” She coughed. “Sorry…. Feel free to gorge yourself, though. It may not be love, but it’s definitely delicious, and— Oh! We’re here!”

I smiled as we entered the dining hall. “Well this is cosier than I expected.”

There was a single table that could seat maybe ten ponies comfortably on several cushions like those that I’d seen in the library. Several roaring fireplaces kept the room feeling like a lazy summer day, while a beautifulset of silver platters waited for us on the table.

Three of the seats had been set, although it appeared Spike had hurriedly eaten and left before we got here. I sighed internally at the sight, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Twilight noticed his absence too, and I could see a small frown mar her face. The faint taste of dry wine spread through the air again, but she hid her internal reaction well. “Yeah, we get that a lot. I think this is supposed to be for high end diplomatic meetings and close dinners with friends, but I haven’t actually found a grand hall style banquet room yet.”

I shrugged and walked to my seat. I could smell the soup beneath the silver covers of our plates, and I was dying to get at least some solid food in me. “Maybe Friendship Castle just doesn’t want any high and mighty banquets? A personal meal seems way more in line with fostering friendshi—”

I stared at my meal for a couple seconds before snorting. As much as ve tried to restrain myself, there was no stopping the deep thrumming laugh that burst from my throat at what I found before me.

“What is it?” Twilight asked hesitantly. “Did Spike tamper with the food? I really thought he didn’t have it in him.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just that I apparently started to make friends with two ponies today, and one of them wasn’t Spike.”

“Huh?” Twilight’s eyebrow arched. “But you’ve only talked to me and him today. Who’s the other friend?”

I looked down to the alphabet soup in front of me, and read its message aloud. “Take my love, but only if there aren’t other options. —Friendship Castle

I paused to study Twilight’s face. It was scrunched up in what I was coming to realize was a sign of very confused, very deep thoughts. Chuckling, I continued. “P.S. Sir Spike ate your lunch to spite you when you took longer than exactly five minutes. P.P.S. Don’t take this as me getting too chummy with you. I’m still watching you, punk. I’ll always be watching you.”

One could almost see smoke pouring from Twilight’s head as her gears turned.

“I just love how it underlined the word always with a spaghetti noodle.” I grinned as her face scrunched further. “It really gets the point across. Don’t you think, Twilight?”

Twilight took a second to process my words. It took her another second for her to shut off the little fires I can only imagine were running in her head. And then it took her a third second to form a response as she lifted the cover from her own meal.

“That just seems really creep—“ A small squeak erupted from her throat as she saw her alphabet soup.

I grinned, and got up to go read it myself.

Twilight appeared incapable of sound.

Of course it’s creepy, milady! I must beg your pardon, but why in Celestia’s name do you think I’ve been hiding my existence from you until now? What part of incredibly powerful magic castle that knows each and every movement of the inhabitants in it at all times doesn’t sound creepy and stalker-like to you? It’s not something I can bring up casually on my own. I only started talking because the cat’s pretty much out of the bag. I may as well talk to you both and make friends now. —Friendship Castle

“P.S. Sir Spike didn’t actually eat your lunch too, milady. It was just getting too cold for you to comfortably eat, so I replaced it when I replaced Prince Morpheus’. I am sorry for it being low-quality soup from a can, but I’m not the cook Sir Spike is. I blame the lack of claws. Grumble…. Grumble….”

“Grumble? Grumble?” I mused. “It does know those are sounds a pony makes and not words to be used, right?”

As I said that, the room shook twice, and we could hear the large grating noise of crystal on crystal. In the aftermath, I looked down at the soup to see a reply had formed in the shockwaves. “That’s the other option for grumbling. Would you rather I do it that way? —Friendship Castle”

Twilight gathered herself from the floor, and saw the message.

She shuddered. “So creepy….”

I chuckled. “I like you, Castle. I’m not sure Twilight appreciates your sense of humour yet, but I like you.” I returned to my seat and looked up to see Twilight still standing. “You know, you realize you can now interview the castle directly for your research, right?”

I had about a seconds worth of warning as Twilight inhaled. Stuffing my hooves in my ears, I grinned as Twilight’s squeal cracked her crystal goblet.

Author's Note:

Fun fact: I have no idea if I'll ever need to describe this in story, but the Azure Veil that Morpheus calls in vain is the changeling version of an afterlife. It is also a horrible pun on the blue screen of death if you missed it.

As usual comments and criticism is appreciated. If you do criticize, however, please try and include at least one positive criticism amid any negative ones. It doesn't need to be an even ratio. I just prefer being criticized by those who can tell me I'm doing something right in addition to whatever I'm doing wrong

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