Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 4
Truth is, I had been so busy worrying about how Morpheus would handle the situation that I kind of forgot to deal with it myself. Given enough time, though, it was inevitable that it’d occur to me just what had happened that day.
Wyrman had accompanied us at Morpheus’ request as we walked back into Ponyville, hooves clip-clopping on cobblestones. Hera lurked behind us—a titanous beige pegasus once more—and she stoically glowered at Morpheus—who had refused to disguise himself on our way to Pinkie’s party. His apparent confidence would have made me smile, but his stabilization rods were clenching open and closed, and I knew just what that meant.
I was also a little… preoccupied with watching Wyrman. He didn’t look that threatening back in his pegasus form—status as part of the paparazzi aside—but I couldn’t help but shiver as I recalled him lunging for me.
Only a shiver.
It was odd, really. It hadn’t really sunk in yet—the fact that he tried to kill me. Maybe it never would. Part of me knew I should be panicking. Part of me wanted to panic. Every time I had been about to start, though, I remembered Hera blazing into action. I remembered Morpheus’ stare as he passed judgement on my assailant—my assailant—and my fear just kind of died.
Without a shadow of doubt, I knew Mo would do anything to keep me safe.
I snorted at the thought. No. That wasn’t fair to him or Hera. The warrior had been the one to actually save me. And Morpheus… Morpheus would do everything in his power to guarantee everypony’s safety—even my assailant’s.
Now the infiltrator was following us, and he whistled without a care in the world. He even grinned as he noticed me watching him. It was the half-grin half-frown of somepony who knew too much for their own good.
Perhaps… perhaps we were being too lenient? As much as I enjoyed happy endings, we were dealing with somepony that had wanted to kill me. He hadn’t even planned to jump me originally—just whip the crowd into a frenzy and let them handle me.
No. No. Forgiveness was key, forever and always. It wasn’t like I had objected back at Castle or anything. There was no reason to let him get to me now.
Other than the fact that he tried to kill me.
“Twilight, are you alright?”
I flinched at the cool sensation of chitin prodding me, only to realize it was Morpheus. His ear tubes splayed backwards at my reaction, and—without really thinking—I hugged him. He tried to shrink away from the contact, but I just hugged harder.
“I… I just think it’s all finally hitting me….” I mumbled with my face in his mane, trying not to shiver for his sake.
It was... easier than I thought it would be. At my admission, Morpheus had stopped pulling back. He had moved forward, in fact—his head coming to rest atop my own as I tried to express the confusing jumble of feelings brewing in me.
Somepony— No, someling. Someling had tried to kill me, and it wasn’tsome all-powerful, megalomaniacal, lord in a climactic battle to determine the fate of Equestria.
No…. It was just a simple father who wanted the best for his son.
Something about that was terrifying on an entirely different level. It was like… It was like I was the bad guy…. Because ordinary ponies don’t step up to stop good guys.
It was a ridiculous, illogical fear, and I knew it, but I didn’t know what else to feel. I couldn’t be mad at Wyrman, and it felt wrong to blame the lords because they didn’t know any better. There was no use pitying Wyrman’s son, because I couldn’t really do anything about that other than trust Morpheus to make things right.
If anything, I should have been happy. Today was a big day. Morpheus had made so much progress, and we should have been celebrating it. I shouldn’t need to worry about assassins or explain things to the town. By Celestia, the town. It irked me that I might have been as nervous as the rest of Ponyville was originally, but I supposed I was becoming biased after spending so much time with Morpheus.
Speaking of which… I was still hugging Morpheus, wasn’t I?
He was thrumming as I leaned into him—my thoughts a whirl—and I could feel the vibrations of his voice traveling through me as a medium. There was a slight tingle of magic in the air as he cast a spell, and, glancing out from our embrace, I was thankful to see it was a privacy screen
“Let it all out, Twilight.” His wings chirped a rather haunting melody reminiscent of a violin. “We’ll take all the time you need.”
“I’m sorry….” I muttered. “You must think I’m such a mess right now….”
“It happens.” Morpheus gave me a small squeeze. “Remember when I met your friends? You didn’t think any less of me for my breakdown, and that was way worse. Trust me on that. Besides, you should have seen me after the first time an assassin tried to kill me.”
Chitinous plates rippled and clicked as he chuckled, leaving the odd sensation of something that was not-quite a massage dancing across my coat. His laughter grew as I wordlessly hummed my curiosity, turning the massage into the feeling one gets from the pitter-patter of rain falling on them.
“It was a time so dark and scary~” He whispered.
“Nary a sound in the dead of night~” Hera followed without hesitation.
“Only a few months spent a lord~” The Prince sighed, wings weaving a small melody.
“Rivals sought to prove their might~” Hera’s tone rang firm.
“Oh, how naive of me to think myself free-e-ee~ Of the tangled web of politics and tea-e-ea~” the lord sang softly. “A poisoned cup, meant for Mother’s throne~ Turned my chitin the pale white of bone~” His echo fractured just a tiny bit. “And were it not for the frantic flight of friends~ I may have met a rather grisly end~”
“I’d never thought I’d fly so fast before~” Hera now sang with but a whisper. “My Lord raced me to the threshold of death’s door~ A minute more, he’d have passed the Azure Veil~ And so I swore to make sure he’d always prevail~ My life was his from that point on in time~ My Chrysaling assured I’d never leave his side~”
Morpheus sighed as the silent song ended, his breath rushing down the back of my neck.
My ear flicked at the ticklish sensation, and I giggled. I didn’t know why he hated singing so much when he had such a wonderful voice.
“Five days without a single sign of the curse…” he thrummed, pulling his head back to look at me. “I guess it was worth it, though, if it got you to smile.” He tried to grin and only partly succeeded. “Back then, I woke up to find Mother biting off the head of the infiltrator responsible, berating him for being so careless as to accidentaly poison me—” his voice shifted to that of Chrysalis “‘—a weak, unworthy, spineless adversary who will never see the light of day again.’”
He chuckled. “Ve had nightmares for weeks—endlessly horrifying simulations as ve ruminated over all the awful ways I could die. Couldn’t get an ounce of rest until Hera emerged from her Chrysaling.”
He nodded to Hera, who was politely looking for threats everywhere that wasn’t me and Morpheus. “She pretty much tore her way out of the cocoon and barged into Mother’s throne room to demand she make her my guard, and she even held me that first night—despite probably every new instinct she had screaming at the impropriety.”
“You… needed me… My Lord….” Hera slowly ground out the words, painfully trying to keep up her stoic facade.
“I did.” Morpheus smiled. “Having a friend with me kept the nightmares away.” The smile turned into a frown. “Really makes me wonder why we distanced ourselves from each other. It was tradition, ve suppose, but, really, we were idiots to do so.”
He shook his head and turned back to me. “The point is, I don’t think any less of you for freaking out about this. If anything, I’m impressed at how well you’re doing so far. I don’t mean to offend, but ponies are known for being rather skittish.”
I grinned, finally pulling out of his embrace. “And you changelings are a pessimistic bunch.” Taking a deep breath, I went through Cadance’s breathing exercise to make sure I was well and truly calmed down. “Are you sure we can trust him, though?” I nodded to Wyrman. “I don’t mean to question your decisions, but…” I bit my lip.
Wyrman bowed low—groveled, really. “I am as indebted to you, Princess, as I am to Prince Morpheus—perhaps more so as your throat was the one my fangs were meant to pierce. If you so wish it, I would happily end myself to comfort you, for there is nothing that could ruin the joy filling my heart at the fact that my son will truly have a chance to fulfill his purpose soon.”
“No! No! No!” I shook my head quickly. “I would never want you to do that. Don’t even think it!”
Morpheus sighed. “And that is why we can trust him. Were you expecting something different after everything ve’ve told you?”
“I didn’t think…” I frowned, trailing off. Shaking my head, I decided not to let it get to me. This was supposed to be a happy day, full of celebration, and I wasn’t going to let anything else get in the way of that.
“Whatever… my mistake. Thanks for the privacy spell. I hope nopony else saw us before it went up, though. There are probably enough rumors as it is.”
“She says while dating the changeling prince.” Morpheus rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. Everypony is at Pinkie’s party waiting for an explanation.”
Wyrman’s haw clicked open and closed, causing the Prince to cackle.
“Oh, right. You don’t know about my marefriend, do you? Long story short: we aren’t actually dating. It’s just a very complicated scheme where we pretend we are to get her friends off her back.”
Wyrman quickly regained his composure. “Just another day at the hive, then, sir?”
“If only the lords kept their schemes to such mundane affairs.” Morpheus chuckled.
I slugged him lightly in the shoulder. “Make fun of it all you want, Mo, but it works, and I know you’ve had as much fun as I’ve had on our ‘dates’ so far.”
“Whatever you say, milady.” He bowed, and I thwapped him with a wing. “Shall we get going, then?”
He lowered the privacy screen as I smiled in response. For the first time today, things felt alright. All I had left to do was finish introducing everyling to the town. Surely, that would be a breeze after everything else.
Especially with my number one assistant already on the job.
When we walked into town hall, I wasn’t sure what to expect. There was no doubt in my mind that Spike and the others were up to the task of handling the town, but with the way things had gone earlier, that could mean anything from answering curious questions to quelling mindless panic. Like Morpheus had said, ponies are skittish sometimes, so it wouldn’t have surprised me to walk in on the typical flower trio freak out.
The scene that met me as we entered town hall brought another smile to my face.
The Echo triplets were doubling down on their game from the day before—four Rainbow Dashes trying to out brag each other in an attempt to prove themselves the most awesome of flyers to a crowd of ponies—while the rest of the girls were out mingling and looking to see who had concerns. Spike fairly flew from pony to pony, no doubt for much the same reasons, and I couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm.
Number one assistant indeed.
Errant was still gallavanting about with that group of crusaders from earlier. Every so often he’d shift into a ball when one of the others caught him, getting passed from foal to foal while chittering like mad with his new, giggling friends.
Several parents, Webber, and the original Cutie Mark Crusaders chatted as they looked on to make sure everything was alright. The analyst’s eyes routinely glassed over as they talked, the telltale sign of digging through the hivemind for whatever questions he was receiving.
What really drew my eyes, though, was the large group of ponies surrounding Lyra and Bon Bon—Lyra sans her disguise and laying on the floor next to her fiancé.
“And then, after nipping her ears, I nibble her neck a little, and Sweetie Dee just melts like chocolate.” Lyra chittered, entwining her neck with Bon Bon’s and giving an affectionate bite to her ear.
“You make it sound like I’m trapped in your web.” Bon Bon giggled and snuggled closer to her mate.
Lyra pecked her fiancé on the lips. “But you are trapped in my web, Sweetie: just as I am trapped in yours. Two lovers bound by fate and destiny to be forever wrapped in the other’s silken charms.”
The crowd murmured excitedly at the sight, couples sharing knowing looks and young fillies sighing longingly—some glancing furtively around the room for that one pony they had their eye on.
Bon Bon nickered contentedly, nuzzling her partner. “So you’re like the poets of old now? The Lyra I know hates that kind of stuff. Says those uptight snobs need a mare to brown-nose literally rather than metaphorically.” She giggled again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were replaced with a pony.”
There were some hesitant chuckles from the crowd at that. Stepping up to them all, I smiled at the brides-to-be. “So you told everypony the good news, I take it?”
Lyra nodded. “Yeah, it seems to be going over as well as I said it would, Glitter Flanks.”
I nodded to her. “Then I can officially congratulate you on your engagement.”
Lyra and Bon Bon both winced at the sudden silence that descended. “Oh, geeze, I meant I told them I was in a relationship with Bonnie—not that we’re engaged. I mean, do you want everypony to have a heart attack? Try to have some tact, Twily. The town has got enough on its plate as it is.” For once, Lyra’s words rushed out of her mouth.
“Whoops… hehheh….” I laughed nervously at the rush of whispers that suddenly broke everypony else’s silence. “I, uh… didn’t mean to let the cat out of the bag?”
What to do. What to do? What to do?! I didn’t know what to do.
“Lyra Heartstrings, how could you?!”
I blinked at the sudden interjection of Rarity—like silver bells scraping down a blackboard. The fashionista was walking through the crowd in a huff, gaze burrowing into Lyra who tried to wriggle deeper into Bon Bon’s embrace.
“How could you not tell moi about your voyage de noces?!”
What? Rarity already knew about the engagement. For Celestia’s sake, she went with me to Lyra’s hive.
Still, my friend was strutting up to Lyra as if she’d committed some unspeakable offense. “I’ve had your wedding gowns and more prepared for years, and this is how you repay me? Keeping you engagement a secret for Celestia knows how long? Don’t you have any trust in me?”
Morpheus hissed silently besides me. “Oh… she’s scary good.”
Blinking, I looked to Hera and Wyrman, who were nodding. “What?”
Spi dropped down from parts unknown, making me almost jump out of my skin. “Ah! Where did you come from?!”
Ignoring me, he looked to Morpheus. “She’s quite the web weaver, ain’t she, boss?”
Morpheus nodded. “Quite.”
“Seriously, where did you come from?” I made the mistake of tuning out Rarity as I poked the infiltrator for answers
“It’s better you not know.” He waved dismissively. “I need some secrets, after all. Now, shush, or we’ll miss the best part.”
I grumbled to myself, but turned my attention back to Rarity.
“I mean, we are Ponyvillians! We won’t just turn our backs on you because you want a wedding. Am I right?!”
The ponies surrounding Lyra and Bon Bon whinnied and stomped in approval.
“See, darlings?” Rarity was suddenly all sugar and smiles, voice barely heard above the crowd. We’re all here to give you the best wedding anypony has ever had.” She tittered before turning to saunter away. “And I will make sure to see that you get it.”
Lyra, Bon Bon, and I watched her go in befuddlement. Lyra in particular was clicking her haws open and closed as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.
“Well…” She licked her chops. “I owe you an apology, Glitter Flanks. Ve had no idea Rarity was so magnificently evil. I should never have made those jokes about you and the Widowmaker, there.”
“Widowmaker?” Morpheus snorted. “Please, Mother’s the Black Widow, not me.”
Lyra laughed a slow, pleasing, legato melody. “Would you prefer Studmuffin?~”
“You are impossible!” The Prince blushed a verdant green.
“Don’t bother….” I sighed, patting Morpheus on his withers. “It’s impossible to stop her when she starts. Just be thankful you aren’t Glitter Flanks.”
Turning back to Lyra I smiled. “Thanks, though. The apology means a lot.” I coughed. “Even if Mo and I are seeing each other now.”
“By the First Father, did you not learn the first time?!” Morpheus hissed as the group surrounding the brides-to-be froze like sharks smelling blood and the reporters talking to my friends grabbed their cameras, turning as one to stampede toward the newest gossip of the century.
“Forgive me, Princess.” Wyrman laughed. “But that was a horrible move on your part. At least you aren’t harboring a secret changeling lovechild!”
The swarm descended and I could barely spare a glance at the infiltrator. “Not. Funny.”
“Look out, below!” Errant’s shrill whistling whir accompanied a small chitinous mass colliding with my face. Sliding down slightly, they snapped back into position, and I sighed—recognizing the horribly well-known feeling of tree-sap making the little nymph cling to my fur.
“The curse continues to spread….” I mock groaned, sad yet glad for the distraction. It was letting Mo deal with the crowd. Maybe. It was hard to tell with my eyes squinted almost all the way shut and a changeling covering my face, but I could hear him saying something to the crowd.
Still, there was no reason to be rude over some tree sap. “Hello, Errant. I see you’ve been initiated into the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“Yeah!” They chirped, the giggling of other foals signaling their comrades approach. “I have no idea if I can get a Cutie Mark, though.”
“That’s okay!” One of the foals—a colt—seemed to be hovering next to me with where his voice came from. Tiny hooves reached around the chitinous mass on my face and pulled, making the most adorable little, squeaky, grunts. “That just means we get to try everything!”
“Like hang gliding!”
“Roller derby!”
“Mountain climbing!”
“Tiger taming!”
“Shh!” The foals hissed after that last one. “Scootaloo made us promise not to tell the grown ups that one, dumb dumb!”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “I won’t tell, promise.” Scootaloo had, after all, already carefully outlined to me all the safety features that would be in place when asking permission for that little stunt.
With a sickly splorch, Errant broke free from my face. He and other foals left to carry on with their game, giggling and chittering like mad.
“Sorry, Princess!” A filly waved to me as she ran off. “We’ll be more careful next time!”
I waved back, casting a minor cantrip to clean the gunk from my fur. I had gotten used to the Crusaders rather sticky adventures long ago, but gosh if I was going to stay sappy any longer than necessary. That done, I turned to finally deal with the rest of the press.
“And so I can assure you, gentlecolts,” Morpheus softly thrummed to the rapt reporters, “that while I’m not at liberty to discuss whether or not Twilight and I engage in sexual intercourse—maintaining her virtue and honor and all that—ve can assure you that when and if we do so, she will be a very happy mare. After all, it would be folly of us not to have any notes on the fine arts of seduction and love making in the hivemind. Physical intimacy is a key component of any pony relationship.”
“Discord, damn it all.” I muttered, glancing back to the foals to make sure they hadn’t heard. “It’s the trip to Rarity’s all over again.”
I shuddered and forced myself to smile, causing the Prince to glance at me worriedly. At least I knew he wasn’t actually serious. I just had to smile, wave, and try not to think about everypony silently judging me. With any luck, I’d be answering actual legitimate questions about changelings before sundown.
Maybe ‘dating’ him wasn’t as good an idea as I thought.
I gently rested my head on my desk, trying in vain not to read the letter before me.
“My dear friend, Twilight. It’s not my place to tell you who to have a relationship with, but I’d appreciate if you could convince Morpheus to have a bit more tact in the future. The hivemind may present an interesting opportunity in private, but trust me when I say that it’s important to keep such matters as private as possible. Ponies talk—reporters even more so—and being so blunt can cause much more undue stress down the line. Regardless, congrats on finally finding a coltfriend. I know from your reports just how good of a changeling he is. —Your friend, Celestia.”
I shuddered in embarrassment, a copy of the rushed evening release of the Canterlot Times and several other newspapers on my desk. Slowly, inevitably, my gaze passed over the last line of the letter.
“P.S. I don’t know if they still number their positions, but I suggest position number eighty-seven.”
Once more I shuddered.
Too. Much. Information.
At least the rest of the town seemed to have forgotten to freak out about the changelings with all the new gossip. I glanced to some of the other papers. Other cities? Not so much.
I sighed. “We’ve still got our work cut out for us, don’t we, guys?”
“You think?” Spike snorted as Morpheus gave a wordless thrum, staring glassy-eyed at the newspapers. With a scrabble of claws, my number one assisstant jumped down from his seat to head for the door. “I’ll go get the all-nighter coffee.” He turned back, arching an eyebrow. “Unless you just want to relax with some tea or something?”
“Either’s fine, Spike.” I groaned. “You decide.”
“Tea it is.” He shrugged. “You just worry about relaxing for a bit.”
So, yeah. The reveal was a tense day, to say the least. At least the town seemed to enjoy it at the end. Still, life went on. It’s… difficult to describe the time that followed. It was just everyday life with a twist, really. There were ups and downs, good and bad. I honestly have no idea where to begin, so you might want to talk with Morpheus.
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
905 users online
1,336,420 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
When are you planning to introduce Twilight 's parents?
continues to ship it like FedEx
Not all knowledge is conductive to sanity. This is a perfect example.
But damned if this isn't going to forever be in the background of her mind.
8119250
Fair enough, (re-reading that comment it was worded a bit over-aggressively. Apologies, it was late, I was tired and headed to bed.)
The thing is as you said in the AN of chapter 28, Morpheus started as a blank, soulless OC. Those types of character need to be more "special/powerful/unique" than other characters because otherwise there's nothing to grab and hold the reader. But as you say in that AN; Morpheus is developing beyond that, so it's not needed for him. In the chapter I wrote that comment on he admittedly doesn't have much character yet and it does feel as if he's not smart/sneaky/strong enough for the task at hand, but reading on I see that he does continue to develop as a fully fleshed-out character, so I'm happy.
8124395
I dunno about Fedex. Amazon works though, what with the robotic hivemind and living warehouses and suicidal customer service policy; seems pretty changeling to me!
8119639
Let me preface this with a statement: I am reading through the story and am not caught up yet, any or all of my points may have already been covered by the released chapters I haven't gotten to yet. My comments are only intended to refer to the chapter they are left on and all preceding chapters.
No, I'm just saying we have heard absolutely nothing to allow us to empathize with his Hive. The Lords are scheming, murderous dicks (numerous assassination attempts remember?) and we've heard zilch about the common Changeling in the Hive to say they are more like Morpheus rather than the Lords. We have only heard about the Lord's, nothing about the "good" changelings, therefore there is no empathic response since the only "good" Changeling we have seen or even heard of from that Hive is Morpheus.
It's chapters like this that make me lament the lack of a romance tag on this story.
8124750
I second that. A part of some chapter simply dedicated to Glitter Flanks and Mo relaxing together in a cuddle after a long day of calming down panicking ponies (and perhaps ending in a not so planned kiss that makes them panic anew) would be a nice addition.
Also I just love me some nice romance. ... And 'optional side stories'.
P.S. I wonder if the author picked that number at random or if there is some story behind that~
I can't tell if Morpheus is intentionally trying to make Twi want to stab him, or if he's just being clueless. (bragging to the press about the hivemind's knowledge of seduction? Really?)
8124721
*shrug* No offense, but my personal philosophy is the exact opposite. Giving soulless OCs strength and power runs the huge risk of turning them into Gary Stus and Mary Stus. Giving them weaknesses and difficulties allows you to better express their humanity -- or equinity, I guess. It's what I believe allowed Morpheus to gain a soul so to speak.
8124395
8124732
8124750
8124912
Should I add a romance tag? I mean, there probably will be moments that could be considered romantic at some point throughout the rest of the story, but I haven't explicitly added the tag because I felt any such moments to secondary to the story. Not unimportant by any means, but also not the focus of the story.
idk... I mean, normally, I'd argue that the fact that it takes so long to establish anything makes it less of a romance, but it just just occurred to me that The Enchanted Library by Monochromatic took a painstakingly long investment in setting it's romance up such that it only recently started to pay off -- and boy is it paying off. It's one of my favorite stories on the site. Who knows, maybe I should add the tag.
8125154 Well the reason I said that I was sad about the lack of a romance tag was that it implies that there won't be a romance for the main character, but that's just my opinion. Do what you'd like, but if Twilight and Morpheus get together eventually then you can add the romance tag then just to be safe.
8125123
Mo -- and to some extent or another, his hive -- are in a very odd position when it comes to personal relationships. He can say what he said there because his relationship to Twilight is theoretical -- making his statement merely a bluff. It's the reason he shipped Twilight with every stallion and the kitchen sink back when they went to Rarity's for the suit. Well, it's that and the fact that changelings can't be squeamish about that stuff when they have to -- or had to -- replace ponies to earn love. It was simply part of the game.
As we've seen though, he was mortified by his own species method of procreation, as well as the idea of preening a friend. He would, ironically, be a stuttering mess in this situation if the relationship was real and he was asked to spread juicy gossip for the papers.
8112641
Also, thought I responded to this, but it doesn't seem I did. You looking for something from that chapter in particular or just a scene in general?
Also, also, correct me if I'm wrong, but way back when you planned on commissioning two pieces of art originally, but I only ever got the one to share. Was I just utterly mistaken or something, or did I miss a piece I should have given you and the artist credit for. (Speaking of which... I should probably put the first one in the right chapter... I think I might have excitedly posted it in a blog and the next chapter for the time but didn't move it to the appropriate chapter later on.)
8125193 second one never got done - after the first one was finished I decided I didn't think the second one would work out well and have been trying to think of a better scene to commission (I remain open to suggestions - any scene from the story really).
8125402
Hmm... Well... I won't spoil anything big, but there might be the perfect little scene next chapter where Mo eats a butterfly. There's also the scene where he shows Twilight the bit garden but I have a feeling that many bugs might cost a bit much.
Given Twilight's relatively sheltered upbringing and the general peace of Equestria, I doubt she'd ever been front and center for a genuine life-or-death situation. In canon and involving genuine bloodshed, anyway.
Whether or not that's a good thing is a matter of debate, however.
8125130
Fair enough, I just find people are way too quick to cry Gary Stu/Mary Sue on virtually any character who is powerful. Like the whole "AlicornTwilight= Mary Sue" kerfuffle when it happened. Power and the intelligence to use it well do not a Mary Sue make and Mary Sue's do have a, admittedly small and should be used sparingly (like a Naga Pepper when cooking), time and a place in fiction.
I also don't really want to read something where the protagonist is what gets the ball rolling but is so helpless/inferior compared to the other characters that anything that he or she does in the story likely could have been done better by them or almost anyone else (Underdogs however are slightly different: in that the Underdog is relevant regardless, they are simply outclassed by their opponent, it is when a protagonist is outclassed by every single one of their allies that it becomes a problem. Some leeway given to coming-of-age stories, etc.)
I can and do like stories about Underdogs as well as stories which are primarily just a good "old-fashioned" curbstomp.
You could write a story about literally GOD (the ultimate Gary Stu) and still have it be good despite the intrinsically undefeatable nature and power of the protagonist, you just need to write it well.
(Small rant on what exactly entails a Stu/Sue below)
Beginner and bad authors often make wish-fulfillment stories in which "they" (the protagonist) are perfect. Perfection is the characters only feature, all others (if they exist at all) are a thin coat of paint. The story then accommodates the author's power fantasy and all challenges presented are those that can be easily solved by "their" superior existence. The story also lacks any interesting interactions, characters, or methods due to the authors lack of experience. That leaves it as a true Gary/Mary Sue story in my mind. It is wish-fulfillment and power-fantasy taken to their extremes with no other redeeming features to save it.
Whereas If the setting, characters, dialogue, or concept are interesting and well-written enough; I will read it, regardless of the protagonists strength or seeming Sue-ness.
8125154 Another option is that the Romance between Twilight and Morpheus isn't what this particular story is about. A sequel/sidequel where that's the focus and has the tag from the beginning might be in order. That way the people who are interested in the ship are happy and the readers who don't like sudden genre and tag changes in a story they were already following won't be upset.
8125154
no romance tag. this is a just friendship that evolves into an intimate friendship. kinda more meaningful than regular romance anyhow.
8125193
Isn't that even more of a reason to make the relationship either real or real enough that he gets like that? :D I cannot confirm nor deny that I may or may not be biased towards romance stories.
Also, like others said, if you are planning something more serious between the characters, then a tag might be appropriate.
On a side note, you guys were thinking of what scene to draw. Do consider the one where Twilight wakes up to Mo upside down on the ceiling above her. For some reason it stuck with me as for some reason hilarious. I guess it's just the "waking up to something weird" thing.
8124666
And it's not like she couldn't deduce that on her own. She probably tried her hardest not to think about it.
Oh well, good luck with that now.
Celestia is still such a troll~
8125457
I think the first part of this chapter was fine with Twilight freaking out. Because when you mentioned Nightmare Moon it made me think, Twilight is used to all-encompassing threats that threaten ponykind or the world rather than her specifically. While I think she sees and recognizes these foes as a threat to her, they also threaten so much more that shes far past thinking of herself at that point.
Now, when she has a Changeling Assassin lunge at her ready to rip out her throat, that is MUCH more personal. I can see this having a strong effect on the state of her mind as it finally settles in. Add to that the fact that the assassin was trying to atone for himself and pave way for his son to have a better life, and it just makes the impact it has on her ever stronger.
8125621
You're talking about the Mary Sue as a tool, though. While I agree it can actually be used well, I'd argue there's a difference between when it's a tool to progress the story and when it's a liability that hampers the story. It's really hard to write the former, and really easy to write the latter -- except, perhaps, when used for the purposes of parody. In particular, such characters usually need to either be secondary characters -- like how Celestia and Dumbledore are, for most intents and purposes, the perfect pony and the perfect wizard who fill a mentor role -- or, if they're main characters, they need to take on only some aspects of the Mary Sue.
I mean, as I see it, the Sue is defined by three roles. The social, where everyone likes them and people are treated as evil or wrong for disliking them. The success rate, where the Sue succeeds too fast and too often in all their goals. And the power level, where the Sue has powers beyond the scope of others in the story. A good Sue will follow at least one of these aspects, but should subvert them or twist them to make them less... predictable... for that is the curse of the Sue.
So, the impression I'm getting is that if you give a changeling a hug, you can get a full body purr in return. That doesn't seem too bad, really.
Ehh, what good are secrets anyway. Lyra and Bon Bon's engagement. Twilight and Morpheus dating. How thoroughly Twilight will be sexually satisfied if their relationship progresses to that point. If they turn it all into gossip maybe the press will be too excited about that to be excited about other interpretations of the story.
And hey, apparently even Celestia knows how good the physical side of a changeling relationship can be. When you have a long life, things happen.
hmmm. Well, I am glad that everyone recognizes how lucky they are that Rarity is not, in fact, a changeling. Especially since she would never settle for anything less than Queen.
Also....what is number eighty-seven?
It makes sense that Twilight would be freaked out over this. despite the many adentures and "Battles" that she has been in...none were like the assassin. The rest were all bloodless. There was really only "Potential" danger for the most part, more Psychological than any real Physical harm. This was the first time that Twilight was up close to anything near a VERY Bloody death.
Nightmare Moon? Oh look there's the whole "You get flown to safety", not bloody. Tirek? Again, not bloody. Even the CHANGELINGS never got bloody. Everything else was more drama and potential. Even with things like the Crystal Empire is different since it wasn't anything quite so gruesome. Even more so since Hera got actually STABBEd, an without Hera...well we may be having a dead an bloodied pony Princess
I think you a very job balancing between Twilight's reaction and Wyrman. Twilight has really hadn't to deal with same stuff a Wyrman. I can understand Wyrman willing to do anything for his son.
Well, I know I'm probably gonna regret this, but... which one is #87? Also (unrelated), who the hell made the changelings' Kama Sutra, if all the positions are numbered?!
8613251
it's HAND-HOLDING.... or in this case HOOF-HOLDING...
8613251
Well, it's supposed to be when the woman places a leg over the couple's shoulder while they're standing