And Thus, I Became the Tatzlprincess

by Miss Marionette

Celestia's Bad Day

“Celestia, princess Celestia! It’s time to get up! The sun needs to be risen, and you are hardly even out of bed!” The voice was like hooves on a chalkboard to me. Not because it was unpleasant, no, but simply because I didn’t want to get up. The bed was comfortable, Luna had left me to my dreams alone for once, and I was content. Maybe if I simply laid there, I would be allowed to just raise the sun a little later than usual? Usually the ponies wouldn’t freak out too awfully much….

“CELESTIA HAS YET TO RISE!! It is the return of Nightmare Moon! Doomed, all doomed!” I heard a pony from outside my window. I couldn’t help but give a loud groan, shaking my head as I finally rose to my hooves, shaking the sleep from myself. I had forgotten, that these are my ponies that we’re talking about here. Ponyville practically went into lockdown whenever something new or strange they didn’t understand reared it’s head in their direction. Of course, for all their quips and quirks, I still do love my little ponies. Even if they can be a tad bit extreme.

Kibitz was waiting for me as I stepped from bed, a tray of tea already set out, the older stallion looking over our schedule for today. Thankfully, it was a shorter one. Only five feet long instead of the usual. I sat down on my haunches, levitating the morning tea up to my lips and taking a small sip, doing my very best to not shudder. Tea, my eternal curse. The drink of all classy citizens and royalty. Oh, how I would throttle the inventor of tea should he and I ever meet. When you have to drink a singular beverage every waking moment of everyday, you can grow sick of it. I, an alicorn, am no different. So, I sat there, drinking and brooding on my dislike of the beverage, before finally I had consumed a sufficient amount to put Kibitz’s mind at ease.

“Was the tea to your liking, Princess?” Kibitz asked, following after me as I headed for court. Like clockwork, I heard Kibitiz’s watch go off, and the sun was raised. There, crisis averted, no more running, screaming ponies in the streets. “Yes, Kibitz. The tea was, like always, a delight.” I told him, lying through my teeth. If anything, this batch of tea had been more distasteful than any before it! I’d only been able to get through one cup, before it had become too much to handle. I shuddered at the thought of their being a still nearly full pot of the stuff. “Ah, well, delightful. It was a gift from a foreign diplomat, a ‘Drocdis’ fellow, odd name. I will be sure to save the tea for later consumption.” Oh, joy. I hid my distaste for that fact behind a small smile to Kibitz. Ah, at least he was being a good butler.

As I walked, I found my mind wandering to Twilight’s last report. Discord had been up to no good again, faking some odd cold to drag Twilight and Cadence on an epic adventure to get the petals for some flower. To make a type of tea. The flower had been guarded by a giant tatzlwurm, and in the end, Discord hadn’t even needed it to heal himself in the first place. Sometimes I wondered if my reforming method even worked on him. Sure, he was Fluttershy’s friend and all, but he still had his moments of just...insanity. I suppose that’s the price for having a sentient WMD at your disposal.

Court resumed as it normally did. Half of the problems were caused by the Flim Flam brothers. Naturally, I let them do their...songs, until I eventually said what I always do. They have to give everything back, say sorry, thee end. After that, things became interesting. This farm goes here, you repay him, easy things. Of course, towards the end of it, I did have a few slips of the tongue. No doubt just an off day. Finally, after many hours, Kibitz signaled that court was over, and I would be taking no more appointments. I was thankful, as my mouth, eyes, and tail ached. No doubt from sitting here in the same spot for much too long. “Congratulations, Princess. Today is a rare day, with not much planned. Feel free to go enjoy yourself. I will go attend to smaller matters.” Kibitz spoke, before walking off. I just gave a relieved sigh at that. Now, when I do have the rare moments of freedom to do with myself what I will, I have a special spa I like to head to.

Today, I wouldn’t be attending that spa. I just wanted to lay down, and rest the aches I was feeling in my body. Ruling a kingdom for a thousand years all by your lonesome, sometimes you had just off days. On my way back to my room, though, I was suddenly intercepted by the one person I always adored seeing, and yet really wish I hadn’t been found by on my way to relaxation.

“Sister!!” Luna declared, suddenly flying down next to me, quite full of energy. I suppose a thousand years on the moon could be considered the ultimate power nap.

“Hello Luna.” I responded, slowing my pace but still on the B-line for the glorious salvation I knew to be my bed.

“Sister, we simply must tell thou of our adventurous night!” This may take awhile. “At the start of the night, we believed it was going to be a boring one. Oh, never before hath we been so wrong before! First, we had to take it upon ourselves to slay a nest of Manticores that were beginning to get close to Fillydelphia! After that, there was a vast parasprite swarm, destined to consume Manehatten, had it not been for our quick thinking, and the help of the Pink one! Who knew you could play so many instruments at the same time? After THAT, I had to save a family from a group of evil cockatoos, and then...”

By the time that Luna finished with the explanation of her night, I had reached my bed, and was getting comfortable in my favorite spot. “Sister, are you okay? Your eyes…” Luna spoke, and I paid it no mind, just laying my head down. “I just need a rest, Luna...Today in court was straining.” I said, adjusting myself to get comfortable. Luna stayed there for a little bit, seemingly perplexed for a few moments, before nodding her head. “Very well, sister. I will be but a shout away, should you need me!” Luna declared, before walking out. Oh, I do love my sister, but being stuck on the moon for a thousand years has left her rather talkative.

Soon enough, I drifted off to sleep, enjoying a good nap. By the time I woke up, my tail hurt to my mother, My whole mouth ached with a pain straight from Tartarus. A small area around my eyes also felt no end of agitation. I stumbled out of bed, looking for the light switch. I went to use my magic, before an appendage suddenly shot from my mouth, and hit the light switch. I froze, looking at it. It was long, black, and rather slick looking. As I stared, I felt my jaw...split, and the appendage was joined by two siblings, stretching out from my mouth. A quick test, and I could fully control the trio of them. Up and down, side to side, forward and back.

Had I not been a being of over a thousand years old, who has seen some rather...well, weird things in her time, I would of, for lack of a better term, flipped shit. Instead, I jumped to the one being that loved to not only pull pranks on me, but at the same time, would have the ability to do such a transformation upon myself. “Dithcord…” It was hard to speak when your bottom jaw is split in two and your tongue had become a trio of tentacles.

As if he’d been sitting back, waiting for this exact moment, the spirit of chaos and disharmony appeared, and burst into a fit of giggles at the sight of me. “Oh, Celestia! This! This is much too rich! Or, or, or, should I say, Tatzlestia?!” He giggled, falling onto his back in mid air, laughing and laughing. I thought, for a few moments, about banishing him to the sun.Yet, the way he spoke of it, he had to know something. What in the name of me was a Tatzl?

“Antherth, now.” I spoke, cursing the appendages leaving my mouth, before I fully retracted them once again. It took me a few moments, glaring down Discord’s grinning face the whole time. “Answers. Now.” I commanded, stamping my hoof and staring at the dreaded draconequus. Reformed my plot. He’d be going back to Boot Camp Fluttershy soon enough. Maybe she could stare him down for awhile.

“Mmm, one moment, Celestia...I just have to, hehe, enjoy this. Some of my finer work, I must say!” Discord mused, floating about. Roasting him on the sun was looking really appealing, before he suddenly began to run his hand down my tail, but it wasn’t as it once was. Oh no, the ‘solid’ bit was much, much longer. I turned my head, eyes widening at the sight. My tail had shifted. No longer was it a long collection of hairs. Oh no, it was a longer limb, not too dissimilar to that of a lizard, the top covered in a line of my hair, the tail ending in a tuft of the stuff. “And the final piece…” He said, before holding up a mirror to my face. I could only stare, my eyes seemingly...tattoo’d. Strange colored, almost lightening bolt looking things came from my eyes.

My new tendrils shot out, wrapping firmly around his neck, torso, and tail. Part of me wanted to crush him, while the other part wanted to eat him. I had a feeling I could. “Now!” I barked, tightening my grip while he squirmed. “Let GO and I’ll tell you.” He said, and I gave a small huff, before letting go, retracting the tendrils back into my mouth. He flopped down, giving a few coughs, probably just throwing up a show to tease me.

“You are now a Tatzlpony. Remember Twilight’s last letter, when I said I needed the tea?” Discord asked, and I nodded my head, sitting on my haunches and working to keep my tail out of the way. “Well, I did need to make tea from that flower, but it wasn’t for me. You see, I’ve been planning this prank for quite some time, Celestia. I studied the flower, but more importantly, it’s guardian. The tatzlwurm. It and the flower shared a very...special relationship. Symbiotic, or something.” Discord went on, waving his hand in the air. I really had no idea where he was going with this.

“Long story short, Celestia….The tea you drank this morning? It was from me, and it was made from the flower the tatzlwurm guarded. You are now a tatzl, it’s ingrained in your DNA. There are no known spells to fix this either, because that would make the prank, well, no fun! I’d suggest not letting anyone else drink from your tea pot again….ever. Who knows what might happen?” Discord spoke, snickering. I tried to lash out at him again, but he snapped his fingers and vanished into thin air.

Tea...it was the bucking tea. I always, always knew the damned beverage would be my downfall. I looked about, letting out a heavy sigh. This was not going to be easy, or fun. How could I explain this to the populace? To Kibitz? To Twilight Sparkle? Most importantly, how could I explain this to my sister, Luna!?

“Celestia~!!” I heard Luna shouting, coming down the hallway. My sister, the vanquisher of night monsters and threats. My sister, so hyperactive with energy and brash choices. My dearest sister, who is more likely to strike first, ask questions later. My sister, who was barrelling right for my bedroom. All I could think of was one thing.

“Dammit, Discord.”

Author's Note:

And tada, the pilot chapter!

Comments

[Zimri]

Seems interesting, and no obvious grammatical errors jump out at me. Keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter.

[Guardian Talon]

Yay. Tatzlponies are spreading to stories.
Wait, she's not going to eat anypony is she? dam it.

"I'd suggest not letting anyone else drink from your tea pot"
I'm calling Chekhov's gun on that.

[Miss Marionette]

5697576 Yes, indeed! I heard that Tatzls were severely lacking on FIM, so, I decided to fill the void with this modest tale.

[TheBlackPony]

5697576
I shall call Chekov as well! ... or rather, I 'would', if HE wasn't so sick of people calling him to tell him someone borrowed his gun... AGAIN!

[Buzzard]

You should try to space out the text more, like work it into paragraphs and such.

[Nectarine]

Instant fave! I love tatzlponies, and this story is good! Keep up the good work.

[ChangelingOblivia]

5697576 By nature, Tatzlponies aren't really carnivorous. They have the same eating habits as normal ponies. Instead, they tend to "swallow" ones they care for and carry them around in their stomachs for their safety. As seen in a series of images of the first Tatzlpony, Tatzljack, who swallowed Applebloom, walked to her bedroom, coughed her back up and lay her down in bed.
So, nopony's in any real danger when it comes to Tatzlponies.

[Discord_Lexia]

5697576 Wait, this was already a thing?

[Zyrian]

That's kinda fucking mean though, it not being reversible

[Draco Dei]

7689223
While this is a reasonable position at this time in the story, the sequel shows he wasn't being a TOTAL jerk. There was actually a benefit to Celestia's transformation, and that is intentional on his part.

[Detsella Morningdew]

8876653
Discord does like to teach lessons and be helpful while annoying the hell out of everypony around him.