Horse of Cards

by Midnight Ice Cream

Eleventh Chapter

Eleventh Chapter

A pleasant surprise

This chapter begins two months following the last chapter

Captain Sunshine Eartheart of Her Majesty Princess Celestia’s Royal Guards

Hello there! Forgive me for not keeping in touch with you, I’m afraid I’ve been rather busy. I suppose I should tell you how progress has been going. The reason I haven’t talked to you much, is the fact that progress has been going splendidly. Now you may have noticed that I am still ranked Captain, that will change in due time. There are challenges of course, we lack experienced officers, so the good ones we have must work twice as hard, but that is only good for discipline. We are attempting to train new ones, I myself work as much as I can to run the Day Guard and of course the new army. Not an impossible feat, but a tiring one. Wellbridge, and of course Midnight Skywatch have been such a wonderful support to me these months, such superb officers.

Politically, we’ve had as much support as we could really expect. Princess Celestia is officially very enthusiastic about the project, which has caused many a pony to join the new army. I had factored in a possible amount of resistance from Princess Twilight, but all I needed there was a quick word from her mentor.

The only opposition we have faced is in the Crystal Empire. I have no jurisdiction over there, and I shan’t impose any. If Shining Armor was able to convince his wife that his Royal Guard was superior to mine, so be it; Princess Cadence outranks me, I can only advise her against it. Then again, this may, oh very good. Very good. I shan’t share this particular thought with you, come now, don’t complain. You’ll find out soon enough.

So why, with all of my work am I talking to you? Well, I am fortunate enough to be able to take an hour off for lunch. Normally I eat while doing some paperwork, but for today there is none. Too tired to do anything productive like walk, or even socialise, I spend my hour in the Canterlot Gardens with my lunch. Spring in this city really is beautiful. If there’s anything I missed about my old position it was the abundance of time to admire the scenery.

Holding off the urge to sleep, I focus on the birdsong. I am no expert in nature, but I try to recount which species of bird each song belongs to. “Well I never, if it wasn’t Captain Sunshine Earthheart himself.” A soft spoken brown southern earth pony wearing a shirt and tie, carrying a saddlebag, walks up to me. “Might I say Sir, that I am a strong admirer of your work.”

“Why thank you, Mr?” It is nice to be admired professionally, however I’d rather have this moment to myself.

“Colt. Now I know it’s a strange name, I never did have a father, so the folks just called me Colt, and it kinda stuck. I wear it with pride, shows how far I’ve come.”

“Indeed.” I say, uninterested in conversation.

“But I won’t bore you with pleasantries Captain Earthheart. As you can tell I’m no local to this fine city. Now, as much as I adore Canterlot, I’d not visit without a reason.” He sits down next to me. “Captain, I like to think of you as a sensible stallion. There’s no need to waste words here. I came here to see you.”

“Whatever for? Do you have an appointment?”

“I’ve tried, and understandably I wasn’t able to arrange anything. Now I know what I have to say may sound crazy, but hear me out will you son?” He must be at least twenty years younger than me.

“I suppose I am here.”

“You’re a stallion of war, are you not Sir? Now what would you say if I offered you a new weapon that would, drastically improve your army, and make it practically unstoppable?”

“I’d say you were trying to profit.” He grins.

“You wouldn’t be wrong there son. You wouldn’t be wrong, but I’m no swindler, you’ll never see Colt con anypony. I offer a fair deal, that you should never pass up, that benefits the both of us.”

“Mr Colt, forgive me for my skepticism, but anypony about to con me would say the same line.”

“Well Sir, I can prove it.” He gives me his card. “My weapons have been proven to work. Not all of Equestria is so nice as Canterlot son. Where I’m from ponies need weapons to survive.” Yes, the fringes of this country are rather dangerous. Well, what does one expect when there’s no government there of any sort? “Before me ponies were using crude weapons, catapults, swords, spears. But I came along, and invented the Colt portable cannon, or gun, I don’t know where that name came from, but seems to have caught on.”

“A portable cannon eh?”

“That’s right Sir. All I ask is a half hour of your time so I can show you what I’m talking about. This aint no party cannon, no sir. This is the real deal.”

I flip out my watch, I suppose I have time. “You have fifteen minutes.”

“Very well, I’m sure that’s more than enough.” This pony is crass, and hardly what I’d call a gentlecolt, but if what he says is at all true, then this chance encounter could prove profitable for both parties. “Now Captain, would you mind if I humbly borrowed the use of one of your target ranges?”

“Not at all.”

“Very good. Now Captain Earthheart, I want you to know, that I will only be demonstrating one type of gun for you today.” We walk towards the target ranges. “I have many more back in my shop back home.”

“I hope that you are offering your best.”

“Oh naturally. Captain, I’m a patriot, I want Equestria safe, I’d have tried to meet with you sooner, but I had to design something especially for military usage. Now of course, I’ve never been in the Royal Guard, so feel free to improve my designs, what I have for you is very much a prototype.”

“Of course.”

*****

When we arrive at the target range Colt smiles hopefully at me. “Now Captain, would you be so kind as to allow me to use your targets?”

“Please, go ahead.”

“Now bear in mind, there isn’t going to be much of them left when I’m done with them.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Colt confidently opens his saddlebag, taking out components of what looks like a pole with wood attached to it. He assembles the machine, putting seemingly random yet complicated pieces of wood and metal together. “Now, this is the earth pony design. There are more maneuverable ones for unicorns. One client of mine, a pegasus has me make lighter ones with two barrels for her expeditions.” Once the mechanism looks complete he empties a small bag of powder down the main tube followed by a strange ball bearing. “Like I said earlier, things like that can be altered later, this is just the one I’d use.” He stands up on his hind legs, and places the weapon on his arms. He puts one leg down, points the thing at the target, pulls something with his other hoof. Suddenly there’s a tremendous bang, and the target is shattered. “Are you interested now?” YES! This is wonderful!

“Very.”

“So, in order to get her to fire again, you gotta first clean the barrel.” He quickly pushes something down the barrel. “Then put a bit of powder down there. Not too much now, just enough. Then put in the ball, this is what does the damage. Then just add a little more here, this is what we call a primer. It causes a spark, which ignites the powder, and boom!” He fires again for effect.

I clap. “Mr Colt, you have impressed me. Well done.” I smile. “This is going to be the beginning of a wonderful friendship.”

“What’s that thing you Northern folk say? Friendship is magic.” I laugh.

“I believe it is.”

Sparkling Soda

“Whisky, strong.” Sunshine Earthheart says as he sits down by the bar.

“A bit early isn’t it?”

“You might very well think that, I couldn’t possibly comment. Now whisky, strong.” He demands.

“What’s the problem?” He sighs.

“I shouldn’t drink.” He says. “Thank you Sparkling.” One can see the gears in Earthheart’s head turning as his frown turns into a smile. “There has to be a way around this.” He says.

“Around what?”

“I met with an inventor by chance this morning. He had designed the perfect weapon, and was willing to sell it to my army.”

“How’s this a bad thing.”

“I arranged a meeting with Princess Celestia. She was very clear about refusing its use. Claiming that it was too dangerous. She believes that magic is superior, and leaves more leeway for allowing the enemy to surrender. When one is given a divine opportunity to have it snatched away from a divine being, one cannot be happy.”

“I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. Remember when you thought there was no way to get Celestia to agree to building an army? You convinced her. This is just another obstacle for you to overcome.”

“I was in the right place at the right time.” He says very carefully. “I capitalised on an opportunity. I do confess it is frustrating to be so limited.”

“Shouldn’t you do that now? If Celestia doesn’t think this weapon is a good idea, why not show her? Last time you were promoted because you showed competence, and she accepted it. Find a way to show this thing’s competence and get her to accept it.”

“Sparkling Soda, you truly are wonderful.” He says, grinning. He turns to leave, but stops “Thank you. You’re a very clever pony you know?”

“Why thank you.”

“I trust you’d accept work as my personal assistant?”

What? “I didn’t thi- My job here?” Yes!

“You’ll start within the week. I appreciate talent Sparkling, you have proven to me that having a personal assistant would be beneficial. That in itself is reason enough to hire you. Any questions? I trust you’ll accept?”

And just like that “Yes.” I’m his personal assistant. Wow.

Captain Sunshine Eartheart of Her Majesty Princess Celestia’s Royal Guards

Wellbridge looks tired, he tries to smile but I can see in his eyes that all he longs for is sleep. Wellbridge is such a wonderful pony, I don’t know where I’d be without him, I just wish he was more awake. Even Skywatch looks tired, he’s had at least six hours sleep today. I suppose it’s hard for officers to find sleep with such an ambitious project underway. I seem to be the only pony with enough energy, and I scarcely get five hours a night.

“So what are we doing here?” Asks Wellbridge. “I’m tired, I need to kip.”

“Not to rush Captain, but I’ve got a meeting with-”

“Gentlestallions, please. Let me explain why you two are here. This morning I was contacted by a pony by the name of Colt. He came up to me with this new invention. He calls it the gun. It’s a form of cannon one can easily move about, and fire at enemies to devastating effect.”

“What’s the problem squire?” Asks Wellbridge. “We’ll have a look at it, and put it to use.”

“The problem is that Princess Celestia won’t allow me to use it.”

Captain Skywatch didn’t look happy. “If we had that, if we fackin’.” He trails off “Alright. What?”

“We have to get permission to use it. I expect you two are in agreement?” Both parties nod. “I invited you two here, because the less ponies we have here the better. Princess Celestia was adamant that this weapon not be used.”

“Look, Earthheart. Shouldn’t we see the weapon?” Asks Wellbridge. “I’m a mate, and I agree with you, but what a Princess says is what a princess says.”

“You’re right. I am her servant, I shall never disobey an order. However, if I can influence the orders I am given, that’s another matter.” Skywatch chuckles “Tomorrow you will see for yourselves. If you’re still unconvinced by then, then we’ll abandon this project. Do I have your faith gentlestallions?”

“Earthheart, I’d follow you to the end of the world.” Says Wellbridge. “But I’m not sure. What Celestia says is final. You may not like it, I may not, but at the end of the day, law’s law.” I admire his faith, I really do.

“We just need to convince her Wellbridge.”

“Look mate, you ask me, the idea’s great. You talked about it to Luna?”

“I haven’t, and I’d appreciate you not doing so. Bringing family drama into this, cannot possibly strengthen our argument. All we need is proper arguments.”

Wellbridge looks towards me, and to Skywatch, and back to me. “Alright lads. For better or for worse I’m in. I’d better at least see this thing before I judge it.”

“Thank you gentlestallions, I believe that is all.”

*****

“Thank you for your demonstration Mr Colt.” I say, both Wellbridge and Skywatch look stunned. “I can see that my officers are most pleased.”

“Why thank you kindly.” Says Colt. “I’m glad there’s finally somepony in Canterlot that makes sense.”

“Mr Colt.” I say sullenly. “I’m afraid that we have a problem. As military stallions, we universally agree that your design is wonderful.”

“Yes?”

“However, Her Majesty Princess Celestia does not.” Colt stamped the ground.

“If she could see my town.” He mutters angrily. “Damn you northern ponies are stupid. With all ya friendship, well I must say Sir, nonsense. Damned nonsense Sir. I remember, I believe it was seven years ago, Princess Twilight visited my town. Some dragons were attacking see. Now Princess Twilight, scolded them dragons, tellin’ them to leave. So they did, at least till Princess Twilight left. Then he comes back, and tries to burn us down. The only thing stoppin’ that dragon were my firearms and the local town militia. We ponies, we fend for our own. That’s why we don’t trust you northern folk. It’s all fine to preach friendship in Utopia, but when you gotta put in hard work to survive, and battle enemies that want you dead every day, now that’s a different story! Gentestallions, I wish you a pleasant evening.” He turns away as if to leave.

“Mr Colt!” I say. “I think we’ve found our angle on this.”

“What do you mean?” He turns back to face us.

“Whenever you want somepony to do something, or buy something, you have to sell it properly. The reasons ponies buy your guns is because they need them. All we need is a little convincing. A story like the one you just told me is what we need.”

“So what are you suggesting sport?”

“I’m not sure yet.” I say.

“Look.” Says Wellbridge. “Tell you what, we could send Princess Celestia over there. Examine the issues more closely. You could go yourself Captain. That way you can see for yourselves, what this is worth. You’ll be able to sell your weapons on how useful they are.”

“How frequent are monster attacks mate?”

“Enough for me to question why there’s a town there.”

“Why is there a town there then?” Asks Wellbridge.

“Well my town is called Goldford, the founders weren’t the imaginative type. The mine attracts dragons, see.”

“Perfect.” I say. “Somepony must visit, that much is clear to me. But whom?” And then it dawns on me. “Sparkling Soda.”

“You bloody what?” Asks Wellbridge. “You can’t just let her go somewhere so dangerous by herself. Look, talk to The Princess about this. I reckon you should consider going yourself.”

“It’s perfect. She’s impartial, she’s clever, and she’ll support me.”

Before Wellbridge can say anything Skywatch cuts in. “What about both? I can’t get anymore tired at home, Wellbridge and I will sort out the army for a week, you try to get us the guns. Sparkling Soda can be be the neutral account of events, that Celestia will trust.”

“Are you sure you two can handle the work?” I ask.

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. You owe me one though.” Skywatch says. “Now don’t make me regret that decision.”

“Yes I do. I’ll get you the guns.”

“This is all agreeable to me.” Says Colt, “But I’d suggest ya’ll bring some soldiers over too. That way they can all testify as to the competence of my design. I don’t know this Sparklin’ Soda, but she don’t sound like the soldier type. You’re selling a product to soldiers here, not to Sparkling Soda.”

“I’ll arrange a meeting with Princess Celestia.”

“Just one more thing now champ.” Colt points out, “I do have a business to run. As wonderful as your city is, every day I’m out here I lose money. A train ticket to Canterlot ain’t cheap. Neither is this expensive Pommel brand shirt. I’m gonna have to leave within the next couple of days.”

“I understand, we’d be more than happy to pay for expenses.”

“No Sir! I don’t take charity. I’m here to sell a product, not ask for handouts.”

“Are you sure? Consider it business expenses.”

“I run my company, I pay my own, but thank you kindly.”

“Very well. If we don’t arrange something within the next two days, we’ll send you letters to keep in touch.”

“Now that is very agreeable. Thank you kindly.”

“Mr Colt, you’re not gonna worry about money after we’re done.” Remarks Wellbridge. “You’re gonna have it made mate.”

“I that all stallions?”

“Just one more thing.” Says Colt. “If you do get to use my guns, I do insist on a trial period. I’m a believer in quality, so I’ve got to know the military implications of these things. Put them through some tests, see if the boys like it, how they’d like it fixed, and all that. After that we go into mass production.”

“How quickly can you produce them?” I ask.

“Well I’ve never been so ambitious before, I’ll have to set up a whole new factory. So it’d have to take some time. At the current rate I’d work hard for a lifetime to supply you. To give you a ballpark estimate, we’re talkin’ a year or so. At least I think so, hard to say. I ain’t ever set up a big ol’ factory before.”

“Very good. Now if that is all? I have a meeting to arrange.”

*****

This doesn’t feel like a good idea at all. If I am to convince her, this is the only time to do so, she’s more agreeable in the mornings. Maybe if I’d have waited, then she’d be more agreeable. No, there is no room for doubt. I cannot ignore progress like this. I push the door open, Celestia is as usual by the giant windows, looking down at the city. “Good morning Captain.”

“Good morning Princess.”

“Please take a cushion next to me.” I sit down beside her. “Care for any refreshments?”

“No thank you Majesty, I had a glass of water before coming.”

“Very well.” She uses her magic to levitate a cup of tea, to sip. “So why are you here? I trust there are no hold ups on the army?”

“None, we’re all working hard, and all of my officers are incredibly tired with all of the new training. But we’ll manage.”

“I hear you only get four hours of sleep.”

“Five, but as leader, I must work the hardest.”

“Impressive. So why are you taking time out of your busy schedule for me?”

“Princess, I understand your opposition to the gun.”

“Not that again.” She says turning towards me, piercing me with her stare. “I’ve told you about that. Nothing good can come from something so lethal. If possible we must befriend any foes we come across. Such a weapon is inhumane.”

“Princess, I consider you an open minded pony, and I understand your inhibitions. Considering the present evidence, I understand your decision.”

“That should be it Earthheart, why must you complicate things?”

“Princess, if I could prove to you, that we need this device, would you allow us to use it?”

“Fine” She sighs “How would you prove it.”

“Colt, the inventor of this device, lives in a town called Goldford. They are attacked by dragons frequently.”

“Goldford? Didn’t I send Twilight over there.”

“You did, not like it got much good done. The moment she left the dragons returned. The only way the ponies of that town survived, was by using the gun. What I propose is, that we visit the town. That way, we can see firsthand how useful these weapons are, and if we truly need them.”

“Who would you send?”

“Myself.”

“You’re already biased.”

“Several soldiers.”

“Already biased.”

“And my new assistant Sparkling Soda. She hardly even knows of the design. Or if you’d like to send your own independent arbiter? Or even come with me yourself? It could be a holiday. No responsibilities of the Royal Court. Remember Princess, I do not intend to use this weapon as a first line of defense, but in a combat situation, we must be ready to destroy the enemy.”

“Fine. They’re all biased anyway. I’ll go myself, might be a good holiday, bring your entourage too. Luna can hold court for a few days.”

“Very good Princess.”

“It should put this nonsense to rest anyway. It’ll be nice to change things up. Thank you Captain.”

“Thank you for being so agreeable Princess.”

“Well I doubt you’ll get what you want.”

“We shall see…”

Author's Note:

I adore this chapter! I simply love it. It begins perhaps my favourite plot thread in the whole story. I can understand why someone may be skeptical of the fact that I bring guns into MLP. Fair enough I say, fair enough. I hope that there is sufficient pay off for that. I certainly think that it was worth it.

I really enjoyed writing Colt as a character. At the time of writing this I was reading some good old Ayn Rand. I'm not normally a super libertarian, but the idea of that kind of objectivist supercapitalist ideal came into mind while writing him. This business man with a lovely southern drawl and a friendly salesmanship about him seemed to fit so well into the world of MLP. As I recall this entire plotline was not planned from the start but I simply decided to run with it on a whim. Colt, Goldford and the lot. I don't really have too much more to say. I loved writing this, and it's possibly the strongest part of the whole story.

It is to be noted that I haven't had time to go through this with my dear friend Azure Drache yet. I do read everything twice before uploading though, and may not change it.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. (huh that's an old one)

Midnight

PS, I have now looked at it with Azure Drache. We didn't agree on everything, but there are now some alterations here and there.