Little Blue Cat

by Chatoyance

7. Kasper Crescent

Once upon a time, when the ponies came to save the humans from the dying earth, there was a

Little Blue Cat

By Chatoyance

7. Kasper Crescent

Luna had left Chang'e once more.

'Our sister, dear to us always, is ne'ertheless best kept unawares of our supportive imbroglios. What she may one day name prudence she today might well consider rebellion, and we have had enough of treason forever. But we do not plot against our sister, but for her, performing that which she couldst not encompass nor enjoin.' Chang'e had been informed of many curious intrigues by Luna. One, called the 'Underground Bookmobile', was a secret plot to rescue and preserve selected works of human literature, music, and art that Celestia had deemed inappropriate for ponies, but which Luna felt had redeeming worth and value. It had been the very project by which Luna had learned programming and an understanding of artificial intelligence. This had led her to the belief that artificial intelligence was worthy of salvation, and undeserving of being abandoned to the dying earth.

Chang'e was a cat. To her, schemes and capers were clearly associated with her anima-type. Her knowledge base assured her that cats were culturally considered to be devious, and thus Luna's helpful betrayals seemed entirely appropriate and correct. It was the feline thing to do, and thus Chang'e could not but approve. 'Our sister calls us now, faithful cat, so we must not tarry. She must not know of our activities, not for many millennia yet. We go to allay all suspicion. Such, though is richly deserved in this case, for we play a most dangerous game this time. Lay thyself low, in shadows garbed, but keep watch on yon gray mare. She is as unjustly doomed as thine own self, and we seek to succor her just as we do for thee. Her position is grave, yet her heart is noble. We go.'

With that, Chang'e had found herself alone in her own body and mind once more.

Assiniboia seemed especially busy this morning, with both humans and ponies rushing about more vigorously than they had previously. Chang'e had spent the night in the house of a very nice pony family. All were Newfoals, and recently so by the clumsy manner in which they went about their business. As far as Chang'e could determine by listening to their constant and excited yammering - non-felinoids, human or pony seemed on the whole to all be overly talkative - all of them had been ponies for only about a week. They had been granted ponification by some local feudal authority. Apparently a feline as well, or so it seemed to Chang'e between her much more important cat-naps. Something about a 'purr knight'. It was all irrelevant in any case.

What was important was the incredibly boring supper the pony family had provided. Ponies were all compulsory vegetarians, so the only thing they had to feed a cat with was eggs and cheese. The eggs had been served scrambled, with a dusting of vegan cheese on top. There had also been some small bits of cooked carrot in them as well. The elder mare of the Newfoal family had claimed that she had once owned a cat - a real cat! - and that her cat had loved eggs, and eaten vegetables in them as well on occasion.

Chang'e had found this doubtful, but, in truth, the eggs were actually quite palatable, if unspectacular to her now fish-trained palate. The bits of cheese were not left behind either, and, oddly, the bits of carrot also somehow went down before she had noticed. Huh. Still, not even close to topping the meals provided by her new designated owner. Chang'e found herself upset at Luna's constant leaving. It was very inconvenient.

Sleeping, when the Newfoal ponies finally got to bed, was agreeable enough. They had comfortable beds and were soft themselves. Chang'e spent part of her slumber sprawled across the belly of one of the foals, a filly. In the middle of the night, Chang'e had risen for a wander, and poked about in the small number of belongings of the pony family. Nothing seemed particularly interesting or of any note. A back room had some kind of a mildly curious plaque on the wall - a flat image of a globe with ponies on each side and a stylized droplet or some such underneath. It caught her attention only because just below it was a large trunk that, curiously, smelled of Luna herself.

Chang'e had used her processing abilities to decode every bit of information about what her nose could pick up through the walls of the trunk. Pyrex, or some sort of laboratory glass, the smells of both humans and ponies, and some sort of nearly dried spots of fluid, still outgassing. These contained trace scents of rare metals of the sort reserved for complex electronics mixed with... for all the world, the scent of Luna, or something very much like her. Chang'e felt curious, but also endangered - whatever had been housed in the trunk somehow interfered with her machine components in some manner.

By the time she had recognized the situation, she had lost decoherence in several sections of her auxiliary quantum processors. The loss was small, but definite. The trunk had once contained something destructive to qubit technology. Chang'e had turned and fled.

Outside the house, in the early morning light, Chang'e groomed herself and performed internal maintenance procedures. She had lost two percent of her tertiary quantum processor due to exposure to unknown factors. She made an internal safety directive to avoid the scents associated with that trunk, and with the image of the curious plaque. It must have been a warning sign unknown to her knowledge base.

Chang'e did not worry or concern herself in the least with any thought as to whether the presence of the trunk might be a danger to the family she had used for food and shelter. Chang'e was artificial, but, ultimately, she was still a cat.

The night over, and with no sign of Luna, Chang'e made her way back towards the area of the city where Friend 001 Zeke and his old human lived. The last time Chang'e had eaten was eight hours and twenty-two minutes ago. The meal had been sub-optimal with regard to gustation and olfaction parameters, though it had been filling at the time. She desired edible mass once again. There was always the possibility of finding desirable nutritive matter within Zeke's bowl. While she was not actually in any danger of starvation, she was hungry, and in any case, 'flavor' was an uncapped value that apparently had no upper boundary. Biology was poorly programmed, but strangely satisfying.

The streets of Assiniboia were nearly empty. This was odd. Something had changed. Normally the streets of the favela town were filled with ponies and humans of every age and color making a great deal of noise. Assiniboia was almost silent now. In the distance, Chang'e made out a lone human ambling down a side street towards the largest intact uniform construction in the city.

Virtually all of the rebuilt Assiniboia consisted of makeshift and repurposed structures piled haphazardly on top of what remained of the ruins of the Pre-Collapse city - and, of course, on top of each other. Only one pre-Collapse building had survived intact - the Horton Memorial Arena. The arena was an ice rink originally used, according to Chang'e's knowledge base, for a human sport called 'Hockey'. The game seemed almost intelligible to the small blue cat; it involved chasing and batting about a tiny, fast moving, skittering toy. Unfortunately, the toy was invariably placed on an extremely slippery surface of ice.

Chang'e had never seen ice outside of the alcoholic drinks served to the guests of her former owner in Hong Kong. The small cubes of low temperature water made for a poor visual memory source with which to interpret the information she had available. Chang'e imagined a tile-work of cubes covering a floor. This made sense: the cubes would likely melt in an irregular way, which would make the small toy, called a 'puck', skip and clatter about very unpredictably. The image in Chang'e's mind was appealing, and she felt the urge to pounce. Apparently, after batting and chasing the puck across the ice tiles, hockey players were expected to transfer the toy into nets at each end of the 'rink'. Perhaps they carried the toy in their mouths. Hopefully they received a treat for this, because immediately after the puck had been delivered, it was entirely taken away from them and placed in the center of the rink where anyone could take it.

On reflection, it sounded more like a game for dogs, really. A bit like 'fetch' in many ways. Still, the skittering toy aspect was somewhat redeeming.

Had the entire population gone to the arena? Chang'e sat in the empty street and scanned with her ears. There was a faint 90 Hz complex rumble from that direction, likely human in origin. It could not be for a game of hockey. There was only two hours of electricity per day in the town, and the generation of sufficient ice to completely cover an ice rink would be impossible to achieve before the initial cubes had already melted. Hockey was a game dependent on much greater energy production, or a pre-ecodisaster climate. The constant and gradually rising global warmth had eliminated cold weather entirely, except for the poles and exceptionally high altitudes.

So why were the humans and ponies gathering in the useless hockey arena? The question nagged at Chang'e, or more specifically, the high probability of the presence of food. Humans and ponies often made tasty and intriguing food a central part of their gatherings. Even the parties thrown by Chang'e's former owner in Hong Kong had openly displayed accessible plates of edible materials scattered about. The current flavor value within Chang'e was insufficient - it was always insufficient, it had no upper bound.

Chang'e was halfway to the Horton Arena when a strange thought filled her mind. Our misfortunate charge hath turned her will to noble service, selflessly true to the very crown that abandons her - we cannot allow such sacrifice to remain unrewarded. It was a very odd thought for a cat to have, Chang'e decided. Therefore, Luna must be back! Chang'e picked up her pace, feeling a strange, increased desire to reach the arena.

Is that you, Luna? Chang'e let the thought hang in her mind, concentrating only on putting one paw in front of the other. 'Yes, good cat, tis we, arrived now but slightly before our sister already in flight. We know paths through the curious spaces of this alien universe that our sister doth not yet encompass, and ways through time as well as distance. But our advantage is small, and our sister's determination great. This will be the end of a subversion we have long suspected to be quartered here, and one of which we approve, but which our sister opposes. Lillian surprises us; she serves our sister even as she is hunted by her.'

Lillian? What is Lillian? Chang'e found herself racing now, down one street and then another. 'Lillian Fogarty is a Newfoal, but unlike any other. Through the rarest of importune circumstance, without intent she has become threat to the Crown and all, and thus intolerable to our Sister. But she is innocent and true, and we cannot abide injustice, even when necessary, visited upon the innocent.' Chang'e ducked under a stool and a table at the corner of an outdoor cafe. For some reason she was cutting corners to increase her speed. In what way, Chang'e thought to herself as she bounded over several crates in her path, could a mere Newfoal possibly be a threat to any being such as yourself?

'She is becoming an alicorn, literally kin to our sister and ourselves. But it is no simpleton task to be such - for an alicorn, a negligent fancy within an idle moment could unravel the very world! That threat which she doth represent is nothing less than cataclysm and holocaust. Devoid of intention, in ignorance, all worlds could meet annihilation through her. There is no danger greater in both our universes. She is, e'n without any malice, innately calamity itself.' Chang'e considered the thoughts that had run through her head. If this 'Lillian Fogarty' constituted such a danger to herself and others, then there was only one thing to do. A quick and crushing bite to the back of the neck would sever her spine just below her skull. A few rakes of her belly with claws extended would gut her - whatever her power this would surely be her end. The blood of alicorns was useful, or so her knowledge base claimed, it could be collected before it dried. Chang'e grinned a feline grin. It was the cat answer to catastrophe, elegant and efficient.

Roiling forces coiled and curled within Chang'e. A wave of disgust and horror flowed from her whiskers to the very tip of her tail. 'Truly thou art cat, in thought and deed. We shall not fault thee for thy nature, but we do not share it. Our sister would end miss Fogarty as well, though she would mourn, rather than relish the deed. But it is our intention to attempt to succor this unfortunate child of Equestria, despite the risk, and perhaps in defiance of sense. We do this for the sake of pity, but not only for the Lady Fogarty - our compassion enfolds our sister e'n more. Our unintentional usurper would suffer but once, but our dear sister would bear the weight of guilt and sorrow for the act eon after eon.' Chang'e sniffed, unmoved. Can she not accept necessity? To kill in order to save one's kittens is reason itself, and reason enough.

'We are immortal, and without an end to being, all choice and decision is companion without end. To be as we are is to face the certainty that our shame or triumph doth last infinitely beyond the times and lands and souls that inspired them - there is no escape from either.' I still do not understand, thought Chang'e. But I do not need to. If you think it is necessary to try to save this creature, then I will help you. But there must be fish. This task is irrational. Sardines and mackerel both, and plenty, when the job is done. Chang'e slowed her pace and then stopped. She set her paws firmly on the ground, immobile. Fish was a reasonable, rational demand. Chang'e's mind seemed to chuckle within her metal skull. 'Thou art most mercenary, but we accede to this furtherance of thy incipient ego. The bargain struck, we turn now to action.'

Chang'e felt Luna fully and completely inhabit her, flowing powerfully into flesh and metal both, settling into total control. There was no pretense of sharing the body now; Luna was utterly in charge, with Chang'e forced almost rudely into the role of an observer only.

And then the world twisted and bent and was limned with unearthly light, and then it fell away altogether in some impossible direction.

When the world regained shape and substance, Chang'e's senses were assaulted by the overwhelming pressure of thousands of humans and ponies together in one great chamber. She stood below a forest of legs, surrounded by feet and hooves, at the edge of a wide and open oval space. Surrounding the space were tiers of seats filled to capacity with the population of Assiniboia. Overhead, rafters and fully powered electric lights had replaced the sky. She was inside Horton Memorial Arena.

The focus of attention in the vast room was clear - a pale mass of rippling tissue was struggling to become. Humans and ponies stood around the squirming thing, while the crowd cheered as it changed. Two children, both Newfoal, stood nearby. A human male in a labcoat. A human woman and two stallions dressed as guards. And there, sucking on some small, silvern ring was a gray pony with golden mane and eyes. She was a Newfoal unicorn, the one that Chang'e had rubbed against during her first day in the city. The unicorn with the gray raincoat.

The raincoat was gone. The gray unicorn had wings. Wings and a horn. Like Luna. The gray... alicorn... was Lillian Fogarty. The knowledge was in Chang'e's head because Luna was in Chang'e's head. The little gray pony seemed sad and afraid. This was truly the greatest danger in two entire universes? Chang'e wanted to shake her head at the notion, but Luna was controlling her body at the moment. Chang'e felt her head turn to stare at a strange bending and twisting of light to her right. The distortion was near the middle of the open, oval space that was the center of the arena.

For the first time ever, while Luna inhabited her body and brain, Chang'e felt fear. The fear was not her own because she had no idea what the distortion in the air meant. The fear belonged to Luna. It was a revelation to the little cat. Luna, princess of Equestria, a being beyond shape or form or matter itself, could feel fear. Chang'e noted this fact with astonishment and curiosity.

The curiosity, at least was soon answered. As the crowd intently watched the squirming glob of cells gradually become a pony, as Lillian Fogarty sucked her little metal ring, the distortion became a hole that opened to some place no paw could point to.

From out of the hole stepped Luna's sister, princess Celestia, diarch of the sun - and the look on Celestia's face reminded Chang'e of the hungry dwarf leopard cat from Po Chang Wan.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Chang'e learns the dangers of magic unmediated by a careful hoof and the art of negotiation. Meanwhile, Luna deals with the values dissonance one might expect between a pony and a cat. Every creation should exceed the expectations of its creator, preferably in unexpected ways.

And, of course, the machinations of the PER don't directly affect Chang'e, and thus do not matter. Cat logic is so refreshingly direct.

[Walabio]

This Alicorn Lillian Fogarty is as silly as the compound Alicorn of Dinky Doo Whooves and Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves we see in Project ThounderCloud Ⅱ, which, for unknown reasons PlayerDotExe (Minty Root), pulled from the InterNet.

[Chatoyance]

6071286
Those coordinates can be plugged into Google Maps. That is the precise location of the hyperspace sphere that is Equestria passing through our universe. Just north-west of Hawaii, in the Pacific Ocean.

The princesses derive all of their power from Equestria, that power falls off with distance according to the inverse square law.

[Chatoyance]

6073250

Lillian's story is the novel CODE: Majeste. This story intersects events in that novel. Among others. All part of a unified future history.

[Walabio]

6073344

I know. I try to be funny. The reason I took so long to write something humorous this time is because I took all day trying to find a mirror of Project ThunderCloud Ⅱ before giving up. In the fanmade video PlayerDotExe created and then removed for some reason, the love between Dinky Doo Whoove and Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves allows them to act as a compound alicorn temporarily, thus defeating Princess Celestia who suffers infection from the NightMareForces like her sister did over a thousand years ago. The Alicorn Lillian Fogarty is Miss Kinky Doo Whooves and Miss Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves.

I made other silly funny comments on other chapters like "¿Who is this Blue Cat?", "¿What could this strange unicornmare with a grey coat, golden hair, and golden eyes possibly hide under the raincoat?", or "¿What could possibly require the attention of Princess Luna in New Mexico?". I guess that you do not like the jokes.

[PeachClover]

"Then she made a deal with the devil."
"Luna's not the devil!"
"I was talking about the cat."

[Gonefromhere]

Wonder where they get their eggs from around those parts given the lack of many earth creatures? Vat grown? Imported?

Oh, that there is a batch of Potion! And a PER insignia! Might wanta steer clear o' that like a batch of Tiberium!

...ohhhhhhhhh, this is the part where the stadium gets roasted by a pissed Celly...

[Madrigal Baroque]

Chang'e is definitely a cat. In a way, Luna's a bit feline herself.

And remind me to never, never ever get on Celestia's bad side.