• Member Since 10th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Wind Typhoon


Yo, the name's Wind. I'm just someone looking for a place in the world. I also write stories about adventures I've heard or been on from time to time.

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There is a legend that tells of six other elements besides the Elements of Harmony. It also tells that Celestia and Luna had a brother, who wielded six other elements, known as the Sacred Elements, along side them. A legend says that both the brother and the Sacred Elements disappeared after the battle with Nightmare Moon and neither have been seen since. Over time, this legend has all but faded into obscurity.

Of course, all legends hold some form of truth and never die.

1,000 years later, in the human world, there is an ancient, otherworldly magic that is awakening, one that is connected to the Sacred Elements. An ancient book is discovered, which holds a very interesting prophecy. The prophecy tells of the Sacred Elements, which were sent to the human world, would be found by the six who represent them. The question is, who are these six bearers?

This is my first story, so criticism is appreciated.
Will include various couples, not saying which ones.
Actual story (Chapter 1 and beyond) takes place two weeks after Rainbow Rocks.
Edited by Jedi1790 (I would recommend checking out his story Firefrost; Royalty )

Chapters (19)
Comments ( 24 )

Welcome to pony. You may be full of ideas, but this one is of the sort that has been done dozens of times, with many OCs and Elements. Be forewarned.

It's also the Fall *Formal*, not Former

“My name is Celestia and your in my house.” she said.

5664474 I never said the six missing were disharmony were disharmony.

the way she suddenly adopt him is a bit strange.

5668594 First off, he has no memory, can't blame that. Secondly, I wanted to finish it. Third, try to remember the brother point in the description.

OK, listen... Newbie mistakes, and how to avoid them.

1) NEVER ADD ELEMENTS.
Six is enough, and if you HAVE to have your artifacts, invent something different. Element presume being part of set and generally as far as artifacts go, all set is required to function.

2) NEVER ADD LONG-LOST SIBLINGS.
It never works well, and stinks of Mary Sue.

3) Be very prudent with what you add.
Try to work with what exists in canon and add characters and MacGuffins only if absolutely necessary and no canon entity can fit the bill appropriately.

4) For crying out loud, don`t be SIMPLE.
I can`t stress this hard enough. Don`t be simple. In storytelling, simple is walking hand in hand with bland, and bland is an enemy of any writer.

That's why I have the Elements of The Seasons the are the embodiment of the seasons no artifacts

I'm not saying that I am good in English, however your quotes seem quite off-line...

I did not say that you were terrible, but the quote type should be different. I should be judged, since my story's grammar has few minor issues, however I do not distinguish them. By the way, I am Wild Blaze's friend, and his personal editor.

5760698 Oh, sorry, I kind of need an editor. :twilightblush:

You're lucky... So damn lucky... You see, no one likes to edit nowadays, and you found me. You're damn lucky.

My comment would be that "principal Celestia" tends to say affirmative way too much. Tia isn't that cold and unfeeling. Secondly, it feels kinda weird that Trixie just apologizes just out of the blue at Sunset's house. Where did she get that information? You should probably move the apologizing to the school, it makes more sense.

Well, that was my rant, and my help may not be that helpful

The story is great although getting help from other is a good thing i just learn that today as I was pressured and confused a little bit here and there.

Hey bud, we liked the story. As far as grammar mistakes we only found a couple here and there.

“I can’t believe were defeated those girls.” Adagio deliberated with lightweight dexterity. She did comprehend their deft in enchantment; howevershe did not expect such brevity that would shatter their pendants. “Well then, what do we do now?” Adagio alleged.

We think this should be “I can’t believe we were defeated by those girls.” Adagio deliberated with lightweight dexterity. She did comprehend their deft in enchantment; howevershe (however she) did not expect such brevity that would shatter their pendants. “Well then, what do we do now?” Adagio alleged.

We think you did alright with the first chapter. Keep going.:twilightsmile:

Huh, this story looks interesting. It actually reminds me a little of my fanfic. I'll have to read this at some point.

6222109 Trust me, there will be. I'm just not saying what it is and when it will happen.

6222126 LOL can't wait to see the outcome of it!!!!!

Great story man already on first chapter and it nice.

I got to say that I was skeptical of reading this.. But I'm really enjoying it so far! The Storyline is really interesting :pinkiehappy:

Can't wait to read more chapters!

Wow. Well that happened. Excuse me as I run screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

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