• Member Since 12th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen July 5th

SlyWit


E

Fluttershy is at a crisis that breaks her spirit. As the ponies rally around her for support, none are more determined than Rainbow Dash to see Fluttershy better. Angel just might have other plans, though.

Written for a friend off, the picture the story is based off of is included.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 33 )
knighty
Site Owner

That was pretty sweet. I noticed a couple of incorrect words, but nothing major. I liked how you described Angel's actions in particular, they were very much in character.

One word... Dawww

That is a word, right?

426
It was the exact sound I was going for, if not word.

It says incomplete. Will there be more?

1340
My bad. I uploaded this story before the complete/incomplete feature was enabled. It is a stand-alone story as is. But I have entertained the ideas of sequels. Currently, my big project is the completion of Paradise, and anything else will have to wait until that's completed.

1342

cool I would love to read a sequel if its as good as this one great job :twilightblush:

#7 · Aug 22nd, 2011 · · ·

It was absolutely beautiful, and it was SO AW-SO-ME :rainbowkiss:
Seriously, cool story bro(nie)!

#8 · Sep 28th, 2011 · · ·

>_< NONONONONO
DDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

That was beautiful, I just loved how you described the character of Angel! Thank was so funny. Also, I'm curious, what are your feelings about relations between the mane 6? Like this story is kinda DashxFluttershy... OR were you not going for that at all, and just made Fluttershy like her as a friend? (Even though we have some dialogue between Angel and Dash suggesting otherwise). :trixieshiftright: If you don't want to say it here, you could PM me, but im just really curious! :twilightsmile:

9576
I measure all shipping, between the mane six or any pony, based on two criteria:
1. Do they act in character
2. Is it cute

If yes to both of these, then I adore it. Any pairing, then, can be great, whether FlutterMac, Caralight, or Braeburn and the pony. I only look at them within the realm of their own fic, so none of these are exclusive either. Liking FlutterDash doesn't exclude me from loving a PinkieDash story, for instance.

So summarize, relationships between the mane six are all great when handled well. Equal opportunity d'aww-ist

#11 · Oct 6th, 2011 · · ·

this story is good i like any kind of shipping but that some times leads me to cunfusinon :twilightsmile:

9667 I like the idea of their own separate universe, makes everything ok! Lol

short and sweet:heart:

This is so sweet and adorable, please write a sequel! :heart:

#15 · Dec 5th, 2011 · · ·

Angel = Best Wingman EVER. :moustache:

Heh, I remember I read this one when I wasn't even a member, one of the best ones I've ever seen, Hope you keep up the good work, and write more flutterdash fics :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

That was very sweet and very nice to read.

Perfect length for the story it told, and as others have mentioned, you captured Angel well.

Pretty nice, I was thinking that Rainbow Dash wouldn't have really have had the urge to pound Angel "into the dust" to begin with but. . .
I thought about it. . .:rainbowhuh:
And then I. . . I just . . .:facehoof: Oh Rainbow Dash.

111884
We all have urges that resist for good reasons, but that come to us anyways. Dash just had one or two at that moment a little more rough. She's a very physical pony. :rainbowkiss:

This comment/review will officially be only my second one on FimFiction.net, and I originally had no intention to review. After all this is a one-shot with up to 19 comments and I'm sure it has been praised and criticised enough to know what you did right and what you could improve. I did suddenly find myself with a reason to review, something that came to mind when I realised, in a period of three days I had already read this fanfic four times. The first was the day before I decided to become a member, the second was once I became a member and found this fanfic in order to favourite it, the third was when I needed some quick inspiration for the writing of my own fanfiction, and the fourth was because I needed to read a cheery FlutterDash fanfic after having read a rather sad FlutterDash fanfic. With that said I should really get onto the actual review, the part that you will actually want to know about.

This fanfic, like many others I have read, can be described as a short and sweet fanfic but that alone does not do it justice. Short and sweet fanfics, while nice to read, are often short and simple due to a lack of desire to continue on or try harder, but that doesn't apply to this fanfic. The vocabulary is wider than one would expect and there is more attention paid to detail and mood than what one would normally find. The story does not rush to its end, making sure to cover all things of importance within the story, and when it ends as soon as it does it feels appropriate, satisfying. Characters are in character, though they were still capable of surprising me what with Angel actions being different to what I expected but understandable upon reading, and everything is explained without undermining the reader’s intelligence.

Now as with all fanfics the pacing is a lit-wait, the pacing is perfect? Surprising me a great deal this appears to be the rare fanfic where I don't have to criticise the pacing however that doesn't mean I could not find faults. While I won't point out every one there were a few cases of wrong words and they were unfortunately noticeable, the most noticeable being the first where you used hedges instead of hinges. The other fault I can summarise with the third paragraph of this fanfic, a lot of the lines feel too small, they appear to stop almost abruptly when they could have carried onto one another quite easily.

To conclude though I really, really like this one-shot because its charming and endearing, and while most short and sweet fanfics will be forgotten soon after reading, this one continues to buzz in my mind where I can't help but remember how well written and cute it all was. Fantastic job, keep up the amazing work!

128059
I am not sure how you thought this comment would be superfluous! Especially on this one, my least commented on fic.
I wish there was a way I could highlight your comment. Not necessarily because it was positive (but I admit that the positvity makes me smile like Pinkie Pie in a sprinkle shower:pinkiesmile:), but because it was so detailed! I love all the comments people give me, even the simple "I liked this story."

But yours! Yours gives me so much to reflect on or talk about. It's a writer's dream to have comments like yours that give us so much to work with, even constructive criticism!

Thank you so much for the time you took to make it. :twilightsmile:

129250
"I liked this story"
Happy?:rainbowkiss:

i was reading this at night and when rainbow dash gave fluttershy the flower i woke my mum up by going dawwwwwww ad i shut my laptop and went:scootangel:
then my mum told me to go to bed 15 minuits later ddaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww :scootangel:

Heya! xgfhj sent me over. :pinkiehappy: Glad that xgfhj did, too, because this story is adorable. I really enjoyed your take on both Angel and Rainbow Dash, and Rarity's explanation of why Angel means so much to Fluttershy was really interesting and illuminating.

Thanks for writing and for sharing!

angel is best mime.
also nice story :3

What you didn't write is that now Dash is trapped in a sham of a relationship under the threat of Angel:pinkiegasp:

:P

1247416
The dark undertones revealed! :rainbowderp:

This is the most perfect FlutterDash story EVER! :heart:

D'aww... perf... And that pic at the end. :rainbowkiss: "Makes it all complete!"

Mysterious Flower hmmm?

You've made Angel...likeable? Even...helpful? To Rainbow Dash? Does not compute.

Great story; nice length for a one-shot, quite well paced, funny, and just the right amount of d'awww. Well done.

3016060
Angel was actually quite helpful in the Ticket Master. I noticed that after a rewatch that inspired this story. It seems that as the seasons went on, Angel got more and more spoiled.

And thank you.

Alright, you rascally rabbit

Don't you mean 'wascawwy wabbit?' :facehoof:

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