Act II Chapter 3: Anomalies and Empire's.
Location: Space Time Continuum, Anomaly #753.
Gemini watched as event's unfolded throughout the multiverse. He saw several different versions of equestria all going about there very existence without a care in the world. The Alicorn looked on.
"Let's see. Which Equestria shall i destroy today?" He surfed through all of the data he had on every single multiverse and stopped on one that he found intriguing.
"Huh. Interesting." In this universe he saw a group of pony's laughing and joking like old friend's. This however had two extra member's that Gemini was not expecting to see. One of them was a male unicorn adorned in technological armor. The other was a reformed Nightmare Moon.
"Curious. How did they get there?" Gemini's very being trembled with ecstasy at the thought of obliterating this universe from existence. Just as Gemini ripped a hole in the fabric of this universe however, the male unicorn looked around. Then his eye's stopped just were Gemini was going to go through. He froze. This stallion looked at him with a determination that said step one hoof in my universe and i will tear you apart. Gemini was now far from impressed. He was rattled to his core. There is no way he can spot me. Is there? Gemini receded from the universal fabric. This will take some planning. So Gemini lazily drifted throughout the fabric of reality, time, and space, contemplating the best way to get into this universe and confront this new adversary.
Meanwhile In Ponyville.
Feb, 1, 1000, C.E.
9:00 A.M.
Gadget got a strange feeling. Like he was being watched. His sensor's ran a diagnostic and suddenly went crazy. His scanner's were picking up a massive magical tachyon flux. In plane terms there was a lot of magic in an area it was not meant to be in. And it was playing hell with his equipment. The girls were all looking at Gadget as his armor began to vibrate with him inside it. Then his armor opened up and he was forcefully ejected from it flying into the wall of the bakery. The girls all rushed to his side as Gadget picked himself up off of the floor.
"Wow that looked fun! Do it again!" Pinky shouted. Gadget looked at pinky like she was crazy which for all he knew she was. He shook his head to get rid of his slight headache.
"Are you ok sugar cube?"
"What was that?" Twilight asked. Nightmare stood there looking at gadget then to his armor.
"Sr Skyrose what happened?"
"Something was driving the magical tachyon's in the area crazy." Twilight and Nightmare shook their heads in acknowledgement. The rest of the group looked dumbfounded.
"The magical what now?" AJ asked.
"Basically something really powerful was messing with the magical force's in the area causing a disturbance in the natural magical field's surrounding ponyville." He explained. The rest of the group still looked lost. He thought of a way to simplify it even more. His eye's lit up as a thought came to him.
"Ok. Think of it like this." He said using his front hooves to motion out his thoughts.
"Lets say that there's a magical field around ponyville." All of the mares nodded in understanding.
"Now lets say that the ambient magical energy is like a river, flowing from one place to the next." More nod's.
"Ok now let's say that some of that magic flows into ponyville's bubble and gets trapped there." Pinky's hoof shot into the air faster than lightning.
"OHOHOHOHOHOH!!!" She said jumping up and down excitedly. Gadget pointed to her.
"Yes pinky?"
"If theirs a magic bubble around ponyville why doesn't it pop whenever somepony go's threw it?" Gadget looked at her with a quizzical expression. That's actually a good question. He shrugged his shoulder's.
"I'll have to get back to you on that one Pinky."
"So back to your science stuff." Rainbow said, waving her hoof along.
"Thank you rainbow." Gadget said giving her a grin to which she just rolled her eye's.
"So lets say that this water gets trapped in the bubble. Now lets say a unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony wants to use their magic." He said levitating a small salt shaker in front of them all.
"This will draw upon the magic in the area and act like a tiny drop of water rippling through out a pond, ie the river of magic." He set the salt shaker on the floor and rubbed his head to get rid of his headache from using his magic.
"Now in order to understand why my equipment went haywire lets go back to the river stuck in the bubble. What happens when you try and fight the current of a river?" Twilight raised a hoof.
"Yes twi?"
"You cant really fight the current. You can struggle and paddle as fast as you can but in the end you will get dragged along with the current." Gadget shook his head.
"Correct. Now lets imagine that this river is flowing nice and smooth. That is the way it will always be. No deviation or change. Ever." Gadget then pointed a hoof to his armor.
"Now what happened a few minutes ago was someone not only like someone trying to fight the current of magic, they were distorting the flow of magic so severely that it would be like dropping a boulder into the water not a small stone or even a drop of water but a huge round boulder." He let the gravity of his word sink in. The whole group went pale.
"But who could have that much magical power?" Twilight asked. Gadget didn't know. He just shook his head and went to go run a diagnostic on his armor. He ended up having to reboot the suits system's. The girls all stood there for a sec. Nightmare came up to Gadget and asked one simple question.
"Why were we not affected by this?" Gadget pondered.
"Honestly i don't know. A magic flux of that magnitude should have done more than fry my suits wiring." He said as he pulled out a wrench and began to unscrew a few bolts keeping the power supply in place on his suits back.
"My best guess is that what ever it was was not concentrating on a specific pony when they used that much magic. Think of it like a beam of light. If you focus it on a single area it will begin to burn what ever it touch's. But if you unfocused it then it becomes harmless. The same could be said for the magical anomaly. It had an immense amount of power but it wasn't focused on anyone in particular. Instead it was focused on an area spreading out the detrimental effect's of the magic flux over a wide radius." He went over to his saddle bags in the corner of the store and got out a new battery pack. After loosening the last bolt off the battery's housing he went to lift the cover off the battery but was beaten to it by a soft blue glow. He looked around to see Nightmare using her magic to levitate the cover from the suits back.
"Here let me help." She said. He smiled then nodded his head. Together the two of them had the battery replaced in less time than it would have taken Gadget on his own. The girls left the two to there own device's as they all were wondering the same thing.
"Girl's i'll see you all later." Twilight said as she made her way to the door of sugar cube corner.
"Were ever are you going dear?" Rarity asked.
"Don't worry girls i'll be back. I just need to go and send a letter to the princess. Maybe she will know whats going on." Twilight left, leaving the girls, Nightmare and Gadget in the shop. Gadget let out a "YES!" as his suit came to life once more.
"I do hope the princess know's whats going on." Fluttershy said shaking a little bit.
"Don't worry Flutter's. If anypony know's what's happen'in it'll be the princess." Rainbow said. Then she looked to Nightmare who was listening to Gadget who was talking about more science stuff. She shook her head. Egg head. As if sensing her thought's Nightmare edged her head around to look at Rainbow with a look that said What did you just call him! Rainbow's head shot away from the two and she found the ceiling very interesting. She glanced back to see Nightmare fully engrossed with the science behind Gadget's technology.
"Weird pony." She mumbled to herself.
Meanwhile halfway across equestria in the crystal mountain's.
Sky Diver and Ruby Rose made there way to there command center through a raging blizzard. They had gotten a page on their telecom's to come to the command center at once. So they donned there snow gear and went out into the storm. After got to the command tent they went straight to the overseer's office.
"Come in." Came a gravelly voice from the other side of the tent flap. The couple entered the little five by five room and the commander waved a hoof for them to have a seat. They both sat down and waited. The Overseer got up from his chair turned around and retrieved a folded piece of paper from a filing cabinet behind his desk. He put the paper down on the desk and unfolded it.
"I suppose you two are wandering why you were called to this remote part of equestria?" The couple looked at one another and nodded. The commander gave a hardy chuckle and went about his explanation.
"You two were the best archaeologist's we could find on such short notice." He paused. "Do you two remember the first dig you had here a few week's back?" The couple nodded again.
"Well that dig will feel like a cake walk compered to what we have found out here." He motioned with his hoof to a patch of frozen desert to the east of there current location in the crystal mountain's.
"Do you two see what this map say's?" He hoofed over the map. The couple studied it.
"Well Sr."
"Just call me Frosty." The couple looked at one another and Sky Diver continued his speech.
"Well Frosty. It look's like there's an entire kingdom out there buried beneath the ice."
"Exactly." The commander stated. Ruby Rose spoke next.
"And i suppose you want us to go and find this lost city?"
"That's correct." Frosty looked from Sky to Rose. The couple was internally debating the pro's and con's of this assignment. To them this was a dream come true. But then they thought of Gadget. They hadn't seen him in what felt like age's. they knew he would want them to go and be the first pony's to set foot in this ancient kingdom. But they wanted to see their son so badly.
"Is there any rush or can we think about this?" Sky asked the commander. He thought about it then shook his head.
"In all honesty i would like to get to excavating the ruin's as soon as possible." the couple looked downcast. The commander sighed.
"But. I can use some pony's help in delivering a request to the princess." The couple's faces glowed with happiness.
"As you both know, the electromagical field's up here play hell with all magic in the area. So i need someone to send word to the princess about our find. So can i count on you two to deliver my letter and then get back here with a response and an answer?" The couple shook there head's and got up from there seat's and were out of the door before they were halted.
"Hey Wait up!" They stooped and turned around. The Commander was standing at the door a letter in hoof.
"You two might want to take this before you catch the train to Canterlot. The couple took the letter and then made there way to the nearest train station. The commander just shook his head as the two left.
"Huhu parent's."
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couldn't they ask spike to send the letter?
7040728 Who the girl's? Yes they could have but spike was not there. He was at the library cleaning up.
Sir is a better designation than Sr
Sr is a senior designation IE old man
well...somepony...is going...TO DIE
7040750 oh.
7041246 Thank you. I knew that Sr sounded off.
7041618 YES!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! uh hum OK enough evil laughter.
7043190 ....maybe to little evil laughter...but hey...that's you call
I hate it, as usualy something happened that makes me hope Nightmare get's him, but I think this isn't going to happen.
This feels awkward, and I think I understand why.
It seems like you went straight for the action without any sort of slice of life. You outlined the bare minimums of his life, which would be fine if they weren't important, but there are some key things missing. Like how he discovered his talent for technology. After all, not every human is a mechanical and electrical engineer all at once. Or his changeling abilities.
And there was barely any real interaction before the big bad started to show its face.
Remember that every good Adventure story has a lot of slice of life in-between. Otherwise it can feel very rushed.
I'm still going to continue reading. After all, quite a few people seem to like this. And I tend to like changelings in general.
But even the changeling aspect seems slapped in. There are no real differences, other than "I can feel emotions," which doesn't mesh with his talent, particularly. It seems contrived. There's no odd looks, or anything. He's simply a black-furred pony. Yet he somehow knows to research changelings.
Now, I don't doubt you get into things like this later. But I'm just telling you what someone thinks when they read the story from the beginning.
9125112
I will admit I rushed this story from the beginning and feel horrible about it. I could try and reboot this series which I think I might do instead of going through and fixing everything. It would be easier and more fulfilling I think.