How I would have written it
"No, I don't think it's the right thing to do!"
"Really?! So if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, thinks that ducks are pretty hot, but happens to be a cat, you think you should call that a cat?!"
"Oh yeah, very funny. I'm supposed to feel sorry for the people who suddenly 'realised' that all their lives they've really been an alicorn in a human body?!"
"Look, I'm not gonna deny there are people like that, but you can't let those few ruin it for all the people who really need it! (Not that anyone's figured out how to turn someone into an alicorn anyway...) Besides, they screen everyone who applies for Species Reassignment Sorcery!"
"Yeah, and they've caught how many people cheating on those exams?"
At this point I timidly raised a hand. "Uh, guys..."
Blossom suddenly turned her head to focus on me with laser-like intensity. "And you!"
The unexpected hostility made me draw back. "Ep! Uh, I mean, er, yes?"
"You haven't mentioned once what you think of this!" She glared deep into my eyes.
"Looking for outside vindication, Blossom?" Wolf sneered from behind me. "Unlike you, some people remember to love and tolerate."
I gulped - rather than halt the argument, I seemed to have turned it's focus onto myself. "Guys, I... um... look... I don't..."
Wolf and Blossom both raised an eyebrow expectedly.
"...really think it's any of my business...?" I finished lamely.
My two best friends continued glaring for a moment, before they both turned away with an audible -huff-.
Jeez. I could understand why Blossom was upset with me, but given how much Wolf went on about tolerance you'd think he'd be more tolerant of my tolerance.
Oh, I should probably mention. Wolf and I were human, but Blossom was a unicorn. For some reason, people always seemed surprised to hear such heated tirades coming out of such a small pony.
"FEAR NOT, CITIZENS!"
The loud voice that suddenly boomed out across the amphitheatre made all three of us jump. We all turned to face forwards. Someone had climbed onto the stage when we were busy arguing.
He was a giant beast of a man, 8 feet tall at least. He was decked out in plate armour that reflected light just like a mirror, and had a broadsword stored at his side in a pure white sheath.
"TERRIBLE DEEDS HAPPEN AROUND YOU! DARK MAGIC ABOUNDS IN THE NIGHT! INNOCENT MEMBERS OF YOUR FINE COMMUNITY HAVE VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE!"
I didn't need to turn and look to know that Wolf had completely forgotten about his argument with Blossom in favour of staring starry-eyed like the fan-boy he was.
"Oh great." Blossom muttered, confirming my suspicions. "We've lost him."
"Guys!" Wolf darn near squealed. "That's a Frost Knight!"
"We noticed." Blossom deadpanned. "Apparently they're doing some pre-game public announcements."
"BUT WORRY NOT!" The Frost Knight continued, jumping down from the stage to walk among the audience. "EVEN AS EVILDOERS SKULK AROUND IN THE DARK, SO DO THE FROST KNIGHTS STAND READY TO DEFEND YOU!"
"That's real mirrorca armour! They say it can reflect even alicorn magic!"
"Clearly it didn't do the mirrorca much good, though..."
"HOWEVER, AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE, THE STATE UNICORPS HAVE CREATED ENCHANTED CHARMS! WITH ONE OF THESE, A FROST KNIGHT WILL ONLY EVER BE A MOMENT AWAY!"
"And he's even wearing his Frost Sword! Ah, that's so cool!"
"You know how they make those, right? They stuff a Windigo into the steel and hope it doesn't get loose?"
Wolf finally tore his gaze away from the Frost Knight to resume what he was doing before: glaring at Blossom. "You are just set on being a real killjoy today, aren't you?"
"YOU THERE!"
Once again, the booming voice of the Frost Knight made me jump, though this time because it was directly in front of me. The Frost Knight was staring down at me (despite standing on the level below me), a small object that resembled a key-chain clutched in his gauntleted fist.
"TAKE THIS!" He shoved the charm in my face. "PULL THE TAB OUT, AND THE NEAREST FROST KNIGHT WILL INSTANTLY APPEAR BEFORE YOU!"
My eyes flickered between the knight's helmet and the charm in his hand. "That sounds really abusable."
The Frost Knight sighed. "Yeah, it really is."
As I was busy doing a double-take, the knight coughed into his other hand. "I MEAN, THE FROST KNIGHTS WILL GLADLY SUFFER ANY INDIGNITY AS LONG AS WE CAN BE SURE THAT WE HAVE DONE OUR UTMOST TO PROTECT THE CITIZENS OF THE WESTERN CONFEDERATE!"
When I hesitated, the knight sighed again. "Look kid, just take the charm, please?"
I gingerly took the charm off the man.
"YOUR COUNTRY THANKS YOU, CITIZEN!" The knight turned around to address the small crowd of children that was busy forming behind him. "NOW, WHO ELSE WANTS A CHARM?!"
Now that someone else had gone first, the kids seemed to fall over themselves to take a charm off him. Judging by the looks on their faces, at least three of them were planning on pulling the tab at the first opportunity just to annoy him.
"Jeez." Blossom huffed. "Any more of a stereotype and he'd just be a plain caricature."
"Oh come on!" Wolf growled. "The guy risks his life every day fighting whatever weird creature that escaped from Tartarus this week, and all you can do is mock him?"
"He's completely useless outside his chosen speciality! What's he gonna do if someone pulls out a stone-thrower on him, huh?"
"Guys?" I hesitantly interrupted again. "The game's starting."
The both glanced down at the stage, saw what I said was true, and turned away from each other with another -huff-.
I know it's hard to believe, but they are good friends, really!
After the game was over, Wolf and Blossom went right back to their argument. I mostly tuned them out, not really being that interested in the Frost Knights anyway. If I ever did end up in a situation where I needed their help, I planned to just scream and run. It seemed to work for most bystanders.
We weren't roommates or anything, so naturally there came a point on the walk home where the three of us had to split up. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I must have walked this way a million times before, so I let my legs carry me where they would, my head stuck firmly in the clouds.
I didn't realise anything was wrong until the spell grabbed me firmly by the ankles and dragged me through the pavement.
My first thought was that I'd fallen into a ditch or something in the dark, but then the telltale glow of magic registered in my brain. I struggled to draw a breath, but I couldn't seem to suck anything in: I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe -
Suddenly I was surrounded by air again, dropped to the ground on my hands and knees. My head still struggling to process things, I busied myself by gulping down lung-fulls of sweet, sweet air.
It was only when thick, fur-covered fingers clamped around my arms from behind and dragged me upright that it clicked that I was in major trouble.
I was inside some sort of vast underground cavern, lit dimly by glowing crystals embedded in the ceiling. My eyes went wide as I got a better look around me.
Scattered everywhere across the uneven floor were metal cages, their walls forming a sort of impromptu maze that only added to the feeling of claustrophobia. In every single cage was a pony. No, not just a pony, a unicorn. Each and every cage held at least one unicorn, some two or three. Every single one looked exhausted to the point of collapse.
"Enough gawking." Whoever was holding me said in a deep, contemptuous voice. "Boss!" He called. "We got another one! A human this time!"
"Ah, excellent." Responded another voice from deep within the maze of cages. "Bring them over!"
Immediately, I was roughly dragged forwards. Whoever held me didn't care in the slightest for my comfort or even my health, dragging me like you would a mannequin. The jostling must have rubbed two brain cells together, because I remembered to struggle at that point - for all the good it did me. It did catch a glimpse of my captor though - a minotaur.
For some reason, the thought drifted across my mind that a minotaur guarding a maze was just reinforcing stereotypes.
We rounded another corner in the cage-maze, and I saw what lay at the centre of it.
Clockwork gears and chalk circles were spread equally around the contraption, which was about 20 feet wide. It wasn't very tall for the most part - only a few inches high - but right in the middle of it was an oversized chair.
The kind with large leather straps to hold down mental patients.
Without further ado, the minotaur stepped into the device and started strapping me down.
I struggled, of course, but if there was one thing minotaurs were famous for, it was their strength. In no time at all, I was bound tightly in the dentist chair from hell. When he was satisfied that I couldn't escape, he stepped back - allowing me to see his boss for the first time.
In another nod to stereotypes, he was wearing a long white lab coat as he approached me. The look in his eyes was different from that of the minotaur - where he held me in contempt, this man didn't seem to recognise me as a person at all.
He was a unicorn, and he held aloft a beaker of purple liquid in his magical grip.
Without further ado, the purple, grape-tasting liquid was forced down my throat. I coughed and spluttered, and some of it dribbled down my chin, but the liquid seemed to flow down my throat like it was alive. Not satisfied with my throat, it seemed to expand outwards, filling up places that weren't actually empty, displacing the 'me' that already existed there.
I felt the beaker being taken away from my mouth, giving me the chance to scream properly, but the sensations continued. I started to sweat profusely, feeling like I was sweating my skin off. In a moment of horror, I realised that wasn't a metaphor - my skin was peeling off in ugly clumps, revealing fur that couldn't possibly have existed underneath it.
I could feel my skeleton squash and stretch and twist and bend; my elbows cracked as they turned inside out. My fingers were forced together, and my screams reached a higher pitch when I realised that I couldn't separate them anymore - they had fused together, my toes with them. My fingernails and toenails also joined, and thickened, and lengthened, and I realised properly that I was growing hooves.
I remember reading somewhere that you couldn't feel sensations in your brain. Which was weird, because I definitely felt it the moment that my brain extended sharply upwards, forming such a clear point that my entire skull extended up around it to continue protecting it, and my horn finished growing in.
All at once the pain ceased, and my new unicorn lungs gasped for air.
The unicorn in the lab coat huffed as he looked me over. "Yes, yes, you'll do. Humans always make such mediocre unicorns, but it's still better than transforming a cat or something."
The clockwork around me, which had been silent so far, suddenly stared spinning. I couldn't see very well, strapped down as I was, but I was pretty sure that the soft glow coming from below was being generated from the chalk circles I saw earlier.
This time, it felt like someone had attached a pump to my newly-minted horn – I could feel some of the new substance the potion had forced into me being pulled right back out again. It wasn't actually painful, so I just grunted and whimpered in discomfort this time. A shimmering field of glowing energy was pulled out of my horn and sucked up into something in the ceiling, some kind of dark-green stone spire. A deep fatigue settled on me that seemed to extend down to my very bones.
The gears stopped spinning and the glow vanished.
"Milking complete, boss." The minotaur reported.
"Yes, yes, I can see that for myself." The lab-coat wearing unicorn snapped. "You know what to do. Put them in the cages and man the traps again!"
The minotaur didn't respond this time, he just unstrapped me and dragged me across the ground by one of my legs, somehow managing to be even less gentle than he had the first time. With a grunt and a heave, I was tossed into one of the few empty cages and the door was slammed shut and locked. His own hooves thudded against the cave floor as he walked away, not even giving me a backwards glance.
I don't know how long I lay there in the dark.
The fatigue made it feel like an accomplishment just to roll onto my feet – no, my hooves – my now ill-fitting human clothing threatening to tangle me up at every movement.
"They got you too, huh?"
The exhausted voice was spoken so softly that I thought I’d imagined it at first. But when I looked over in the direction I thought the sound had come from (pony ears seemed to be better at that sort of thing than human ones) I found an unexpectedly familiar sight awaiting me.
"Ms Rainstorm?" I tried to say, but my voice came out even softer than hers had. Everything just seemed to be so heavy…
The pegasus lady who lived in a cloud-house almost directly above my own brick-and-mortar home stared back at me from the cage next over. Well, she had been a pegasus last time I saw her, but right now her wings were gone, and she was sporting a horn.
"Why would they bother transforming you? You were already a pony…"
"It’s not about making more ponies." Ms Rainstorm said. "See that stone spire in the ceiling?"
"The thing that sucks up magic?"
"That’s the one. It’s made of Changeling Throne Stone – it absorbs all external magic. Pegasus and earth pony magic is on the inside, so to get at it ‘Doctor’ - " she managed to push a note of scorn through her exhaustion " - Fredric has to turn us into unicorns."
"Um, is Fredric a normal changeling name?"
"No, it isn’t. He’s not a changeling – and he wasn’t always a unicorn either. We think he’s gathering up all the magic he can to add to his own, sky knows why."
I tried to push myself to my hooves, but my legs wobbled dangerously the moment my… my barrel left the ground, and I sat back down rather than risk falling. "We need to get out of here. We need to get help!"
"We know." Ms Rainstorm’s muzzle twitched in annoyance, and I winced as I realised how stupid I sounded. "But whenever any of us look like were recovering, Fredric puts us back into his ‘milking’ machine. Even if we manage to hide our strength, the Throne Stone’s range extends all throughout this cavern – we can’t use magic, and the bars are too strong to kick down."
I couldn’t see my muzzle at that point, but I imagine that at that point I had an expression of utter despair at that point. Not fighting the exhaustion anymore, I let myself flop over on my side.
-Crunch-
Which is how I remembered that I still had the Frost Knight’s charm in my pocket.
The fatigue laying on me seemed to shatter immediately, replaced by I might have a way out!
I frantically groped at my overcoat – human pockets were not designed with pony hooves in mind – I eventually decided to just tear the whole thing open. Ms Rainstorm’s eyes bugged out at the huge amounts of noise I was making in the otherwise silent cavern.
"What are you doing?" She said, in what would have been a shrill voice if there had been more energy behind it.
"The Frost Knights" I said, as I wrestled with the charm with my unfamiliar new appendages "gave me this charm because of all the people who’ve been disappearing. It’ll summon help!"
If I could alert the authorities, then this terrible and oppressive fear I had would go away. I could hand control of the situation to someone else, and escape from here back to my normal life.
I expected Ms Rainstorm to be happy, hysterical even, but when I glanced over at her cage she just looked sad. She had such a classic ‘bearer of terrible news’ look that I halted my struggles with the charm. "What?" I asked her.
"…you aren’t the first one to come here with a charm." Ms Rainstorm said.
…
"Huh?" I said, uncomprehending. If someone else had come here with a charm, how come this place hadn’t been busted wide open yet?
"The Throne Stone." Ms Rainstorm said, nodding slightly in the direction of the spire. "It absorbs all magic in this chamber. …not just magic from ponies."
It took me another few seconds to realise what she meant, for the frantic beating of my chest to slow to a near-stop. If magic didn’t work here, then the charm…
The stomping of hooves heralded the return of the minotaur. He must have heard the noise I made and had come to investigate.
I almost couldn’t bring myself to care, but I picked up the charm with my tongue and hid it in my mouth so that he wouldn’t see. Almost immediately after that, I was rudely jostled around as the minotaur lifted my cage into the air, flaunting his enormous strength in my face. He turned the cage around so that I was facing him.
"QUIET!" He rather counterproductivly yelled at me.
Not daring to open my mouth – both out of fear of making him madder and out of fear of fear of him seeing the charm in my mouth – I nodded wordlessly, genuine fear in my eyes.
The minotaur gave me a suspicious look, but dropped my cage to the ground in a huff anyway, stomping off once again.
The half-second of free-fall allowed the rest of me to feel the same way as my heart. Having hope dangled in front of you and then snatched away felt far worse than no hope at all. I felt angry, angry at this charm for getting my hopes up and then proving to be completely useless. I wanted to bit this charm in half, the only thing stopping me being the worry of what might happen if this charm accidentally went off inside my mouth.
…
…inside my…?
What was it that Ms Rainstorm had said?
Hadn’t she said that the reason that the lab-coat wearing unicorn had turned her into a unicorn was because he hadn’t been able to drain her pegasus magic, as it was inside her body?
I bit the charm’s tab between my teeth, placed the tip of my tongue on the top of the charm, and pulled.
Imagine, if you will, a firecracker going off between your teeth. There was a -bang- so loud I swear it shook my skull, and a flash of light so bright that I could see even through my cheeks. Both would have left me stunned, if not for the fire on my tongue. The fire that seemed to be… getting bigger?
"HEY!" The minotaur bellowed, running back towards me. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE - "
-Poof/Crack!-
A comical sound effect and a deadly serious one occurred at the same time – after all, the charm had only gone off because it was shielded from the effects of the Throne Stone inside my mouth. Guess where the Frost Knight teleported into?
But still, stooped in a cage next to the neo-unicorn sobbing on the ground with a broken jaw (me) was the reassuringly bulky form of the Frost Knight. "What is it now? I swear, if it’s another kid - "
He stopped talking as he took in the cage bars that surrounded him.
The minotaur, for his part, seemed to be just as unprepared for a Frost Knight showing up as the Frost Knight was. He stood there dumbfounded for several precious seconds.
The Frost Knight’s gaze hardened as he seemed to fully realise what sort of place this was. Slowly and deliberately, he drew his Frost Sword.
The minotaur blinked one final time, then his gaze hardened as well. "BOSS!" He bellowed. "FROST KNIGHT!"
"What?! You imbecile! I told you not to trap anything dangerous!"
The Frost Knight swiped his namesake sword across the bars of the cage. A chilling white mist started to leak out of the sword, but it was immediately sucked into the Throne Stone on the ceiling. The knight looked down at his sword in surprise, but recovered enough to brace himself against the other side of the cage and give the bars a solid kick with his armoured feet, bending the bars.
The minotaur wasn’t about to let him finish breaking out, however, and lowered his head and charged, bellowing much like the bull he half-way resembled. He slammed into the Frost Knight, which actually proved to be rather helpful as it shattered the bars that the knight had been trying to break. A broken bar landed on top of me, making me cry out in pain yet again.
The minotaur tried to pin the knight in some kind of hold, but his grip seemed to slip off the knight’s polished armour. The knight twisted around and slammed the hilt of his sword into the minotaur’s head, knocking him out cold. The knight gave a mighty heave and shoved the minotaur outside the cage, stepping out after him.
"You couldn't even hold him for a minute?" The lab-coat unicorn said with scorn. His voice sounded nearby, but I couldn’t see him. (Not that I could see much through my tears of pain.)
"Whoever you are, if you are in anyway involved in the running of this place, you are under arrest for… more crimes than I can count, I think." The Frost Knight sounded deadly serious, completely unlike the theatrical performance back at the amphitheatre.
"They’ll only be crimes if you live long enough to report it. Which you won’t." The underground cavern distorted the lab-coat unicorn’s voice, making it impossible to tell where he was talking from. I tried to muffle my cries so that the knight could hear better. "By the way, how do you like my little Conversion Bureau?"
The Frost Knight slowly turned on the spot, looking for the source of the voice. "‘Conversion Bureau’?"
The lab-coat unicorn kept talking, and for the third time today I recognised another stereotype being reinforced – one of the evil mastermind eager to explain his plot. "Everyone agrees that alicorns are the most powerful creatures on this planet – apart from a draconequus, that is, but I even I know not to go messing with something that random and unpredictable." A scraping noise could just be made out over the unicorn’s speech. "Everyone has been trying to discover a reliable way to become one for centuries, but they always overlooked the obvious answer: more magic."
"You’re draining unicorns for their magic." The Frost Knight realised. "Harvesting them like fruit trees."
"But even if I took every unicorn in town, it still wouldn’t be enough." For some reason, the unicorn was gleeful when describing his own setback. "So I had to invest the magic I had already collected."
"So you converted the townspeople." The Frost Knight spat.
"With every creature I snare, the forces at my command increase ever faster. Soon, I’ll be able to recreate the lost magic, ‘Inspiration Manifestation’. Then I’ll be able to create unicorns out of thin air – my power will be limitless!"
The lab-coat wearing unicorn did not begin to cackle maniacally, but my the sounds of it he was having trouble holding himself back from doing so.
And, for the final stereotype today, the Frost Knight said, completely seriously: "Not if I can stop you."
"You can’t."
-bang- -shatter-
A small round hole appeared in the middle of the Frost Knight's back, and a spider-web of cracks extended out from his mirrorca armour. The knight made a small pained noise, then toppled over.
The lab-coat wearing unicorn stepped out from behind one of the cages. Held aloft in his magical grip was a weapon that consisted of a long barrel with a trigger at one end.
"Your mirroca armour protects you from magic." The unicorn said matter-of-factly. "But what good is it going to do if someone just shoots you with a stone-thrower?"
He trotted over to the knight's body. Cries of despair echoed around the room as, as one, we caged inhabitants of the room watched our hope die before us. In my case, for the second time in five minutes.
"You know, I've never tried to convert a corpse before." The unicorn said, giddy. "Will it work at all? And if it does, will it turn you into a living unicorn or a dead one? I suppose I should find out… for science."
He nudged the knight's body with a hoof, but suddenly he drew back. "Wait - why aren't you bleeding?!"
The supposedly dead knight's hand up rose up and plunged a Frost Sword deep into the unicorn's side.
The screams of a unicorn filled the cave… but this time, it wasn't me who was screaming.
"'What would we do if someone just shot us.'" The Frost Knight said. "As if we don't get asked that every week. And, as always, the answer is 'wear bulletproof silk under our armour'."
A whiteness was starting to spread outwards across the unicorn's flesh, emanating outwards from the Frost Sword.
"Unless I've missed my guess, that's Changeling Throne Stone up there. Unfortunately for you, that only absorbs magic from outside a person's body."
"NO!" The unicorn screamed. "I am the greatest genius to walk this Earth! I have broken all the secrets of magic! I - "
"You're a dime-a-dozen criminal lunatic." The Frost Knight said. "Now hurry up and freeze."
The whiteness spread completely over the unicorn's body, immobilising him in place. Soon, he was frozen completely solid, and his screams finally stopped.
The Frost Knight stood up, small pieces of his shattered chest-plate falling off and smashing against the ground as he did so.
He looked around at the cages filled with unicorns, who suddenly could find it within themselves to stand in wordless amazement.
"This is gonna be a big mess to clean up…"
Stats
Page generated in 0.04 seconds
Total duration
846 users online
1,064,320 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
..something like that, anyway.
If you really wanted to write the MC vising Equestria and making all the friends, you could, but Equestria would also be completely different from all the human invasions over the years. I personally would just end it here. (And I did!)
Mirrorcas are from My Little Pony: Friends Forever issue 28 (in which Luna holds a sleepover).
That premise in the author's note is so extremely different from the Conversion Bureau as most people think of it, that I just don't know how we got from A to B.
Every Conversion Bureau story I've read has conflict arise not long after Equestria's arrival (usually in modern day Earth, sometimes with a crossover added in) and usually ends in a decisive victory for one side or the other.
That was awesome. Whish i could double upvote for this chapter alone.
This chapter is fantastic, and would make for a great basis for an ongoing story. Well done!
That does make sense that if I had a weakness to something that common I would have the proper preparations. Now I wish this was it's own story as I want to see more in this universe!
8595407
Recursive fanfic that spun ponies as an inherently superior species, triggering 'but humans aren't inherently evil' in the readers of THAT story, resulting in relabeling the ponies as xenophobic fanatics.
he are some worlds i'd like to suggest
Avatar....the last airbender
Avatar....James Cameron
and finally ava..............................................................................................................................................................................................................Red vs Blue
Damn, even though it was just hints, I like the conecpt of a completely different earth with the magical as mundane.
Also I half expected the Frost knight to toss away his sword when magic didn't work and he would say.
"Fine then, no magic, Only fists" And he cracks his knuckles beofre jumping into the fray.
8595407
Well, the original Conversion Bureau story only went for 11 (short) chapters (I linked to it in the author's note, not that you can tell with the new site style...). To be more clear, this entire sentence will be a link. (Hilariously enough, the story was tagged "humans, equestria, life-changing decisions, ponification, tolerance".)
There, the Conversion Bureau was a sort of vacation resort that you just never come home from, which for some reason was run by the Mane Six despite them all still living in Equestria.
It was just long enough to introduce the Human Liberation Front, the idea of a magical barrier around Equestria, the idea that the magic in Equestria is both toxic to humans and growing stronger all the time (as if we wouldn't be able to figure out a solution to that given a thousand years), and the idea that humans were all irredeemable monsters that could only be redeemed by turning them into ponies, the idea that humans are not all irredeemable monsters (yeah, the story was kinda bi-polar), and the idea that Earth was dying because humans mucked up.
She-who-googles-her-username then decided she really liked this idea, but to improve it she would remove that 'irredeemable' confusion by declaring that yes, humans are irredeemable, and to clear away the "why didn't this alter history" confusion by having Earth and Equestria start off in different dimensions, then having Season-1-Fanon-Godlike-Celestia move the whole continent to Earth and fix all our problems whether we liked it or not. This is the version of the Conversion Bureau everyone remembers.
It was an objectively better story in that it made more sense and had less plot holes, it's just that she attracted equal parts love and hate for deciding to bash her own species.
8596065
Thank you
Really great story, would make a nice episode
I still wonder on how the SCP Foundation would have done it. Oh easy. Nuke the planet. Wait for life to form again, if it can. Use SCP-2000. Problem solved. Or Humanity gets defeated and the SCP's escape and wreak havoc on Equis.
8598181
There was an SCP section back in World Suggetions Three.
If you ever want to check if I did a world and you just missed it, I maintain an index.
That's a very common flaw in fanfics. In COUNTLESS fics you have major alterations to the past of Earth, the fictional world, and/or its crossovers... and hardly any fanfic writers bother to account for how drastically that would change the 'present'.
For instance, how many Pony fanfics are there that have evil win in the distant past... and yet we still get the EXACT SAME MANE 6. That's really lazy writing.
8596209 There are a bunch of anime Earths where it either wouldn't work... or would have some absolutely horrendous side effects when it clashed with what was already there. For your consideration:
"Berserk"
"Hellsing"
"Evangelion"
"D. Gray Man"
"Claymore" (transformation there kinda turns humans into super-powered monsters that feed on guts... that would not end well)
And then there are the anime Earths where magic is a thing already, like "Mahou Sensei Negima".
8607524 I'm just mocking the entire CB/anti-CB war. The CB fans went off the deep end by turning the ponies into unstoppable gods and humans into vile creatures of naught but criminal intent, and then the anti-CB fans went even MORE off the deep end turning all the ponies into horrible evil space Nazis and humans into this unbeatable righteous force.
And missing in ALL of it was actual storytelling.
It was like looking North Korean propaganda cartoons... (those exist)
8608261 It's pretty much a given it would fail it any of the Dragon Ball series. Even the first. Get the Dragon to turn everyone back. Game over. In the latter series, the powergaming is so ridiculous the ponies would be vaporized... along with the Earth more than likely (Vegeta sometimes forgets to hold back).
It's a good thing that the Frost Knight wasn't summoned away mid-rescue by some eager child...
Hi there, I've recentlly gotten into internet reveiwing and I just posted my second episode... which is about this fic. Please any one who watches it tell me what you think...
8703000
I'm flattered.
That said, I do wish you hadn't spent most of the video just providing summaries of the chapters. This isn't a trailer - I want to hear what you thought about the story, not "well, it kinda goes like this, but you'll have to read to find out the rest!".
p.s. you totally caught me out with the Sailor Moon thing. And sorry again about One Piece!
8703796
Yeah, I'm still trying to find my legs with show (only episode 2) and in hindsight I should have done a highlights covering the main worlds and the World Suggestions I knew enough about/loved... Like I said, not a big Marvel fan, but that was one of my favorites.
Also if anyone else calls out the Sailor Moon one, just claim movie three/SuperS Movie Continuity. That movie... well... let's just say that ignores EVERYTHING about the SuperS season.
It sounds really cool what you've done in this last chapter :)
This was AWESOME!
(... This chapter is good enough that I could see an entire fanfiction being made from it. The implications of the MC dealing with trying to get back to his normal life and species reassignment back into human, if it's possible, the aftermaths of the attack, the psychological and physical pain both gained from his ordeal... all very compelling. Plus the Frost Knight wound up being a very cool character. Started pretty much using being just our stereotypical fantasy knight figure, all style, but proved in the second act that there's substance to go with that style... and that yes, they did, in fact, think of the obvious.
The only flaw I could see is 'how was the evil doctor unicorn using magic if the stone in the ceiling absorbed all magic that went outside the body'? One can make some inferences but still, not explicitly explained. Regardless though, this was quite awesome!)
8596098
I'm not sure it was ever stated that the barrier was growing, seeing as its been up for quite some time. But Blaze can barely keep his own plot straight.
I'd love to see this fleshed out as it's own story.
Wait... So did the jaw seperate from his skull, or is it just hanging uselessly from it?
9071174
Feel free to use your imagination.
Cool!
Terrifying, but cool!
Typo:
be big mess > be a big mess
Mmm, this one was a really interesting one shot. I would've loved to see an epilogue of sorts.
Medic!