Potion Testing
"Okay, can I have everypony - sorry, I mean everybody's attention please?"
The group of humans who had been mingling aimlessly in the lecture hall quietened down as a certain lavender unicorn made herself known.
"Just before we start, I want to say that you're all being really, really brave for volunteering for this. If we can pull this off, we can save all of Earth from total annihilation, and maybe even- "
"Lady!" One belligerent-looking British man in the back of the room interrupted. "We know why we're here, okay? Can we just get started already?"
"Sorry, sorry!" Twilight cringed. "Well, the Spell Formulae all check out, but the only real way to make sure something works is to test it, so..." With her TK, Twilight levitated a corked bottle with a sparkling pink liquid inside.
Testing of the original Serum commenced with the British man from earlier volunteering. With every imaginable magical and scientific sensor pointed at him, the grim-faced man drank the whole potion in one gulp. The onlookers - Human, Pony, Zebra, Deer and others - held their breath.
The expected blue glow obscured the volunteer's outline for a moment, before he began to shrink. And shrink. And shrink until he only came up to a pony's chest. Then the glow faded to reveal scales.
A human scientist by the name of Beverly turned to Twilight. "I thought the idea was to turn humans into ponies?"
"It was!" The unicorn squeaked.
"Well, that looks like a dragon to me." Beverly pointed out flatly.
"For this, we must hurry and atone." Zecora rhymed, backing up nervously. "I fear we added too much powdered gemstone."
Noticing all the other races slowly edging towards the door, the humans followed; though not without asking "What's the problem?"
"Well you see the potion was always going to have the side effect of inducing a mindset typical of the new race and if his new race is a dragon then we should probably get back right now." Twilight said all in one breath.
The new-drake's eyes opened up, filled with greed. "Mine..."
"RUN!" Twilight screamed as the new-drake started to swell up again, grabbing everything within reach in his expanding claws.
Test one - failure
"Okay." Twilight started, absently sliding a piece of masonry back into place. "We went back over the Serum with a fine-tooth comb."
"Found lots of stuff in there that wasn't supposed to be!" A deer declared, holding up the filthy comb in question.
"Yes." Twilight stressed, her face as high strung as her words. "But now we are are absolutely certain that the drinker of this potion will become a pony and nothing but a pony." She handed the second potion bottle off to the second volunteer, who drank deeply from it with no small amount of nervousness.
"What about a whole pony?" Another human researcher pointed out.
The collective magical races looked to said researcher in confusion as the transformation started once more.
"Well, doesn't the saying go 'a pony, the whole pony and nothing but the pony'?" He mangled the quote.
-Poof!- the transformation finished with such a sound. As the glow faded, the transformation was revealed to indeed have been successful!
Below the waist, that is.
The woman took a step back with two hooves, dragging the remains of her pants around her ankles. "Oh hey, I'm a centaur! That's kinda neat, actually."
"Technically, when all is said; centaurs have horns upon their head." Zecora corrected, looking and sounding quite nauseous.
The new-taur blinked, able to see everyone with the extra height her quadruped lower half afforded her. "Why's everypony look like they're about to throw up?"
"Imagine if someone removed the head of a human and stuck the torso of a pony there." Twilight explained, one hoof covering her mouth.
The new-taur did so, and turned slightly green. "Oh yeah, that is kinda freaky, isn't it?"
Test two - failure
"You're sure it'll work this time?" Volunteer #3 fretted. The Asian girl stood in her designated spot, hands shaking slightly as they held the fateful bottle.
"For the last time, yes." Twilight growled, flipping through a book on potion theory. "The water we added to the Serum will dilute the magic and allow it to spread throughout your body before the transformation starts. No hybrids this time."
"Okay..." The volunteer not-quite-whimpered, before drinking the potion. The glow spread out, her shape shifted, and...
"YES!" Twilight cried upon seeing a pony muzzle. "We got it this time!" Rearing onto her back hooves, the unicorn started the pony version of fist-pumping.
A tug on her fur was entirely unwanted. The words that accompanied it, even more so. "Don't go counting your chickens yet, miss."
Twilight collapsed back onto four hooves and closed her eyes. "What went wrong this time?" She said with forced calm.
"I'm... a mer-mare? That's actually a thing?" Volunteer #3 observed herself with understandable surprise.
Twilight screwed her eyes shut more tightly and counted to 10. "No. I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that adding water to a potion made the drinker half-fish! That is not how magic works!"
"Do you think me switching out the sunflower oil for fish oil might have something to do with it?" One of the deer whispered to his partner.
"Why in the name of the heart of the Everfree forest did you do that?!" His friend whispered back urgently.
"It smelled terrible!"
The second deer smacked the first around the ears and went to go change the ingredients back.
Test three - failure
Large chunks of Twilight's mane were sticking out in all directions as the cross-species task-force reconvened for their fourth attempt at making a human-to-pony potion.
"Twilight Sparkle, you may relax. We have for you some brand new facts." Zecora reassured her lavender friend.
Beverly spoke up. "We took the 'front' from the mer-mare potion and the 'back' of the centaur potion. Added together, we get a whole pony, right?"
"Yes. Of course. Makes perfect sense." Twilight muttered as she tried in vain to pat down her mane.
"I hope so." The only plain-clothed human in the room complained bitterly. "I'm up next for testing."
"Well, no time like the present, right?" Beverly handed the new guinea pig the new Serum mixture.
"Bottoms up." The volunteer sassed, chugging the potion like it was a tanker of beer.
-Poof!-
"I can't look. Did we get it this time?" Twilight kept her eyes on the floor.
"Ugh, sorta?" Came the very unhelpful answer from one of the unicorn researchers. "The contrast between the two potion bits seems to have been stronger than we thought."
"What is that supposed to mean? I can't look like this! It's obscene!"
The 'new-foal' was rhyming? Oh no...
"What is this?! Cease your strife! I've been a Zebra all my life!" Zecora counter-rhymed the striped new-foal disapprovingly.
"Well then, you'd have had the time; to learn properly how to rhyme." The new... ahhhh... what do you call a neo-Zebra?
Twilight's eye started twitching. "The rhyming is involuntary?!"
"I believe it is a waste of gas; to tell you that you never asked." The Zebra-from-birth answered flatly.
Test four - close, but no potatoes
-Poof!-
Twilight blinked. Then she blinked again, slowly. Then she rubbed her eyes furiously to make sure she was seeing things correctly.
Muzzle? Check!
Tail? Check!
Hooves? Check!
Fur? With cutie mark even! (Now, how the hay had that happened....?)
It was undeniably a bog-standard Earth Pony.
"YES!" Twilight did her best impression of the Royal Canterlot Voice. "YES! SO MUCH YES! WE FINALLY DID IT!"
"Great!" The new-foal agreed. Then they coughed. "I mean... great!" The mare sounded like she was trying to speak deeper than normal.
"It something wrong?" One of the deer asked.
"Stupid pony body. It's making me sound like a girl!" The obviously female pony raged.
There was an extremely awkward silence for a moment.
"Yeah, we're marking this off as another failure." Beverly scribbled on her clipboard.
"What? Why is everyone giving me funny looks?" The gruff new-foal demanded.
Test five - not gonna touch this one
Twilight looked like she hadn't slept in days - and that might well be the case, Xlestia remembered. Her student always did have trouble working to a deadline. Xlestia gave her student a hug - just because she felt no guilt at destroying human civilization didn't mean she couldn't be kind to her own.
"Oh, my dear beloved student. You have worked so hard to make this potion." Xlestia nuzzled Twilight affectionately.
"With this, we can save all the humans, right?" It bore repeating - Twilight looked ragged.
Xlestia looked at the cart full of Serum - just a sample, the already mass-produced potion was being distributed around the globe already. "Of course. It is a pity we cannot save them as they are - " she lied " - but nobody will die for our foolishness."
"I'm glad." Twilight relaxed, and Xlestia gently lowered her student to the ground.
Picking up a Serum bottle telekinetically, Xlestia examined it closely. Yes, she thought nobody will have to die. The humans can't see it now, but they'll thank me for it afterward.
Xlestia placed the bottle back into the cart, where it stood out amongst the different colored bottles.
Wait a minute...
"Twilight...?" Xlestia asked calmly. "Why are there different colors of bottles?"
"Well, I didn't want to offend the Zebras or the Seaponies, so their potions are going to the Bureaus alongside the 'Vanilla' Serum."
"That explains the striped and the blue potions." Xlestia followed, knowing that the pink bottles were the pony version. "But what is this brown potion?"
"That's the Human potion of course." Twilight murmured sleepily.
Xlestia froze so completely that even her mane stopped flowing. "The... human... potion...?"
"Well, I couldn't just leave the failed test subjects as-is, could I? It was much easier to make a 'put-them-back' potion that it was a 'change-their-destiny' potion." The lavender unicorn flopped onto her side, trying not to fall asleep in the middle of an audience with her mentor.
"And this potion... do the humans know about it?" Xlestia's gut was in free-fall.
"Know about it?" Twilight's response filled Xlestia with hope. "Princess, they're obsessed with the stuff! I know we mucked up in testing a lot, but do they really need one bottle of 'Reversion Serum' for every 'Conversion Serum' bottle?"
Hope destroyed.
Xlestia carefully eyed the polished stone that made up the wall. With a burst of magic, she drilled a hole in it the perfect size for her horn. Gingerly, she inserted said horn into the hole - this maneuver was very difficult for unicorns, and Xlestia especially.
After making sure her horn wouldn't get in the way, Xlestia proceeded to carefully and methodically beat her head against the wall.
Omake
-Poof!-
Twilight blinked. Then she blinked again, slowly. Then she rubbed her eyes furiously to make sure she was seeing things correctly.
Muzzle? Check!
Tail? Check!
Hooves? Check!
Fur? With cutie mark even! (Now, how the hay had that happened....?)
It was undeniably a bog-standard Earth Pony.
Or rather, it would be, if the body wasn't still shaped like a human. Complete with fingers and awkwardly positioned mammary glands.
"Woo-hoo!" One human researcher cried, stealing the Anthro Potion documentation and running.
"Freak!" One of his colleagues yelled after him.
"Hater!" He yelled right back.
Someone recommended this fic on SpaceBattles.
It there, like, somewhere I go to get a badge for that, or...? 
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That last one is great...
That would be me, honestly. Can't get enough of them fuzzy boobs.
when you drop a boat in the water it gets wet.
when you bring a helpful Pony in to help, it will help, i mean seriously Tia what did you THINK would happen.
These get better and better as they go, you are an awesome Person for shining the light of proper Comedy into the bleakness TCB usually involves.
Awesome chapter. Honestly I never really got why ponies had to be the only species in the conversion Bureau to have a potion would be ponies, escpecially in scenarios where the humans literally have no other choice to drink it to avoid the magic barrier; i mean hey, if you are going to have to change your species you might as well have some options.
No, but you get to be a big deal briefly.
I like the idea of an anthro potion!
Last one killed me. Great chapter!
Furry for life!
The normal Anthropomorphic Types that is. Even I get a little green when I see some of the weird stuff on the internet.
This was great but, looking back at the Terminator one, wouldn't the T-1000 be able to go into the barrier? I mean it's basically living mercury.
I absolutely loved this chapter. Xlestia's reaction to the 'Reversion Serum' was the icing on the cake.
Well, there was bound to be a few mishaps on the way. I loved the reactions and the final potion was enough to send me into a laughing fit.
Great chapter. It makes sense that it took testing to make the potion.
Speaking of space, so the space balls universe!
Or the lilat system! Fox McCloud! Woot!
You should do one with the Godzilla universe. I don't think the ponies would be able to stop the kaiju
5948395
And speaking of Kaiju, how about Pacific Rim?
Did you really just throw in a furry joke?
Furry joke aside, I've been wondering how they would react to arriving on a world that out right rejected magic? I mean as in they arrive through the power of their world, and fully arriving they are cut off from their magic entirely . And with no magic to draw upon that means no magic barrier ruse in addition to being stuck on a human world bound by their rules.
do the universe from the game spacechem where most people I the galaxy devote their life to research and manipulation of elements to make new materials to mass produce almost immediately after and giant monsters on every planet that try to kill the companies such as a giant floating pyramid with an eye or a giant squid or something.
Some suggestions that may or may not seem stupid:
- Shaman King
- Campione
- Type-Moon universe
- Persona-verse
- Kill La Kill
- Lilo and Stitch
- South Park(?)
- Haruhi Suzumiya
- Soul Eater
- Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
- Highschool DxD
- Adventure Time
- Etc.
Some D&D worlds would be interesting.
Dark Sun: I could see Xenolestia's plan actually getting public support, at least until the Dragon-kings got involved.
Forgotten Realms: Ao would come down on her like a sack of bricks.
Eberron: That would be interesting, though I doubt the dragons would be too happy and I would worry about what the barrier would do to Khyber.
Greyhawk: Mordenkainen ain't having any of Xenolestia's crap. Or Zagyg decides to make Xenolestia in a bottle.
This was great, and then the Omake...
5949590 There was a reason for that.
Kaiju blood destroys any ecosystem it touches, so they can't just blow the things up. The bladed weapons on the jaegers are all designed to cauterize as they cut.
But yeah, defending the breach with some huge fixed weapons would have made more sense than scrambling to intercept the things at the coastline.
A anthro potion? The Furry Plague!?
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammerfb/images/5/54/300px-SigmarHeldenhammer.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130921045017
Sigmar, Beastmen are invading!!!
5949311
...
You mean like World Three, Edolas?
I mean, it's not exactly what you meant, but...
Oh please, do Neon Genesis Evangelion next time! It'd be lovely to see the Lilin (NGE humanity) and Angels -bleep-ing sh*t up together.
5957323 Oh yeah. forgot about that one. though not exactly like that one as you said. It's more anything involving magic, no longer works kind of thing. More like it out right reject magic. try to bring some into the world and it just disappears like you never even tried to bring it.
I'm actually writing said story but not a Conversion Bureau. More just ponies stuck on modern day earth in a world where they literally can't use magic in any way, shape, or form. The Earth ponies are finding it easy enough to adapt. Pegasi and unicorns however are having a much more difficult time trying to adapt. And then one of the pegasi discovers a car... They had to pick him up from the police station and said Pegasi fined over 30,000 in damages. Not done yet and i plan for it to be a brief one shot.
That last one would be one of the guys I play D&D with...
This was awesome.
I'm honestly surprised no draconequi showed up
Anyone else imagine Homer's voice for that last scientist?
How dare you, it's satyr good sir.
7399298
-Re-reads own writing-
It's a bit vague, but she does indeed have four legs.
She's a centaur.
Gimme summa dat good stuff.