World One - Kanto
Really, the conversion started just as it would in any other setting. Equestria popped up in the middle of an ocean and set up the horribly unfriendly Barrier to give the locals the ‘die’ to go with ‘convert or’. The world’s weather currents were messed up, machine-made objects began to degrade within the barrier, and anyone walking on two legs began to die. Then things started getting weird.
The humans had happily swallowed the lies she spun about the Barrier being ‘totally out of her control’ and ‘an unexpected consequence of their appearance’. Then they had given friendly smiles and told her that was alright, they could fix this as long as they all worked together. Explicitly including her in ‘they’.
They were all so friendly about it that she double-checked – yes, this was the race that continually enslaved the native creatures and made them fight each other.
Well, she’d taken the opportunity and offered up the idea of conversion. They had tilted their heads, and told her quite seriously that that could be plan B. Plan A was the power of friendship.
Xlestia double-checked that the Elements of Harmony were still where she had left them. Yep, still in the vaults. Oh, they meant the mundane power of friendship. Well, they could try. But unless they had far more power than she thought, that was going nowhere. Better to play the long game and let them come to her on their own.
That strategy lasted two weeks until she started hearing that the crazy weather patterns outside Equestria had started to die down.
She had immediately gone to meet the human leadership (such as it was; it was actually remarkably decentralized) and asked them how they’d done it. She struggled to mask her fury as amazement.
The group of humans positively beamed at her. “Ah, it wasn’t easy, let me tell you that! We’ve never had to manufacture TM’s in such numbers before, and giving them to trainers free of charge! Well, that went down with the corporations like a lead balloon. Still, we’ve now got the weather being what it should, at last!”
Of course. The human’s pets could do weather magic like a Pegasus could. Confound it. She’d just have to ramp it up beyond what they could cope with.
The next day, Xlestia found her grip on the weather shatter altogether. Standing on her balcony, horn aglow, she stood in amazement as the weather not only freed itself from her control, but righted itself all the way back to normal. What did this crazy world have that could shatter her magical grip?!
She heard a teleport from behind her, and whirled around to face… actually she had no idea what it was. It looked like a bipedal cat with an organic tube running from the back of its skull to the top of its spine.
It didn’t say anything, but Xlestia still somehow got the message. [Don’t try this again. Rayquaza can do much worse than undo your work.] The creature left the way it came, teleporting out.
Horse apples. She had counterparts in this world. Well… they hadn’t undone her Barrier, right? She could keep at that for now… but how about she show the humans what good conversion would do for them?
The first human to be converted was done so essentially by slipping the serum in her drink. The unicorn selling the drinks reacted in actual horror – she was ignorant of the plan – and frantically started telling the humans that the pony magic in the drink must have overloaded her magic-free human body and transformed her. The new-foal – as she called them – was brought before her immediately to see if she could revert the young girl.
Hiding a smirk, Xlestia made her horn glow, pretending to magically scan the girl. Dramatically, she gasped. “Oh no, my poor little pony! The magic has integrated itself into your very being – I fear nopony can cure you!”
Xlestia’s fake comfort speech was interrupted by a strange, enormous bug-creature flying though the open doorway. The new-foal gasped in recognition, before grabbing the thing in an awkward hug. “Butterfree?! What are you doing here? Mom’s going to be frantic without you!”
“Free!” The strange creature sang, handing the new-foal a package. Xlestia leaned over to read over the new-foal’s shoulder.
Uno, we think we’ve figured out how to revert you! In this package is a mini warp pad that will bring you straight to Bill’s place. We’ll be waiting for you!
Blinking in surprise, Xlestia was too slow to stop Uno from opening her package and engulfing herself in light. Stupid! She cursed herself as she traced the destination and followed with her own teleport.
Xlestia reappeared inside a small house packed to the rafters with strange machines. The new-foal was being hugged by a human woman (probably her mother) while a man stood adjusting a capsule off to one side.
“What is this – ahem.” Xlestia interrupted her angry roar with a cough, and resumed her facade. “What is this I hear I about being able to cure Uno?”
The man got up and brushed his knees. “Oh, I’m glad you asked! I’m Bill, I run the Storage System. See, there was this one time I accidentally turned myself into a Pokémon, and if a kid hadn’t come by my house, I would’ve been stuck that way! But then I heard about this, and I thought ‘why don’t I try and fix this with the same method’?”
He went on to explain that his device would ‘separate out the pony magic’ from Uno, and turn her back to a human shape. Xlestia listened carefully for any indication it might actually work, then gave a nod of approval. When this failed, no one would try again to –
Great balls of fire.
The capsule had opened up before Xlestia's unbelieving eye's, revealing a healthy human girl where a pony used to be.
Xlestia closed her eyes and counted to ten. Then she opened her eyes, horn blazing with power, and began to set everything ablaze.
It was a week since Xlestia had abandoned all attempts at subtlety. She was pouring all the power she had into the Barrier now, expanding it far faster than it ever had before. ‘Convert or die’ was no longer implied, it was implicit.
Whatever had stopped her weather manipulation had failed to reappear again, so Xlestia was sure that this time, nothing would stop her.
The humans would join her pony ranks or they would die as they ran out of land to retreat to.
This time, nothing could go wrong…
“Um… princess?”
Xlestia closed her eyes, broke the connection to the Barrier, and counted backwards from one hundred.
“Yes, my little pony?” She asked in the sweetest voice she could manage.
Token Minion shuffled her feet. “Um, you know those magic pet things the humans have?”
“Yes?” Xlestia tried to see where this was going.
“Well, they’re all gathered around the outside of the barrier.” Token squeaked. All four of her knees had locked together, fearful of an angry response.
“How many?”
“Well… I think… all of them, princess.”
While ‘all of them’ might have been an exaggeration, it was true that a near-solid ring of creatures surrounded the Barrier – and that was just at ground level. Xlestia could see flying creatures dotted around the upper half of the Barrier and could feel digging creatures prodding at it from beneath. What were they up to?
[Pokémon are close to nature. This field of yours is so unnatural, we could not help ourselves but come.] Xlestia swivelled around in mid-air to find the feline creature that had contacted her before.
“And do what? Stare at it?! That Barrier represents their freedom from human oppression! Do you not see how they have mistreated you and your kind?! They trap you in tiny cages and force you to fight!” Xlestia was confused and angry, not a good combination for rational thinking, but this logic she had come up with when she first arrived.
[Pokéballs do not force their inhabitants to obey. Any Pokémon truly unhappy with their trainer will simply exit the ball and walk away. Really, the humans only use the things so that we Pokémon do not have to walk everywhere. You say they make us fight? We do that on our own… originally, humans oversaw the fights purely to make sure nobody died.] The creature too, ‘sounded’ like he was repeating logic he had decided on long ago.
[You do not truly understand, do you? It confused me too, when I was but a new born… humans are not our captors. They are not the inferior race.] Confusingly, the creature ‘sounded’ almost sad. [For a monarch who preaches about love and tolerance, you can’t grasp the fact that humans are our friends.]
Xlestia felt something in the air. It was the charge of emotion… it felt like a wilder version of the Elements, if such a thing were possible.
Which it wasn’t. Of course not. Not between two groups with such a huge power disparity.
Instinctively, she looked more closely at the crowd of monsters. Her wings froze in mid-flap.
Spaced throughout the crowd were humans. The humans weren’t doing much, but if there was a hungry walker, a tired flyer, a desperate parent, they were there feeding, catching, reuniting. She could feel the harmony, the love that could only occur between the deepest of friends as the humans cared for the Pokémon standing before the barrier.
[If you truly want what’s best for us, this barrier must fall.] Mewtwo telepathically projected all the sincerity he was able.
Her shock had rendered Xlestia silent.
[Very well then. Feel now the strength of our bonds!]
As some unspoken signal, all the Pokémon started to attack the barrier. Fire, Lightning, Kinetic Force, and every other conceivable energy collided with the magical wall of doom. It was the collective power of Pokemon, but it wouldn't have made a dent without the supporting energy of humanity. The synergy of friendship shook the skies and the earth.
And then, with an ear splitting roar, the Barrier shattered.
World One - Gotta befriend 'em all!
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looks good, but a bit rushed
bit rushed but still I like. This a spiritual successor to the other alternative worlds beating equestria story?
I could only laugh the whole time reading i hate Xlestia with a burning fire so i really enjoyed this
if your looking for recommendations for planets I suggest skaro homeworld of the daleks
I recommend what ever planet Galactus intends on eating next; or the Earth of H.P. Lovecraft, complete with Cthulhu.
TCB cannot take down Phantasy Star - Algo Solar System.
Why? Has Androids with massive firepower and even anti-magic defense. Most Humans also can easily use and counter magic or have similar abilities.
Lastly Dark Force incarnations would be more powerful than even Discord crushing any trump card TCB Equestria has, with the obvious downside of 2 planets go boom instead of 1.
'Only in cooperation will you survive.'
Indeed, a bit rushed, and the references to "the author" are incredibly out of place and forced. Please refrain from fourth wall jokes unless they can be pulled off spectacularly with increasing escalation without becoming a meta story or with amazing subtlety. However, I enjoyed the way you applied pre-conceived concepts to prove your point, and it made for a very enjoyable read. I hope you continue with all this in mind.
I would suggest planet Char in the Koprulu Sector, if possible.
5663495 The point isn't "the ponies lose" but "conversion makes no sense here". Of course massive firepower will win out.
5663528 Sorry about the forth wall junk, that was the best way I could think of to hammer home "Celestia would never do this". The other jokes flowed from that.
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Literally wrote the first two chapters in an afternoon.
5663627 Ah, that makes more sense then.
Good story.
5663619 sorry about the way i put my comment just trying to suggest a location that would likely be more trouble than its worth to invade.
This is a promising start to an interesting concept, but I couldn't help but be extremely confused at points. I'm familiar, in passing, with the concept of the Bureau, but "Xlestia" (how is that supposed to be pronounced, anyway?) was a new one to me and the sudden use of the name with no introduction threw me for a bit of a loop. Is she a common character in some of the Bureau fics, or did you invent her?
So Xlestia is a changeling? Does that mean the changelings conquered Equestria and are now trying to take over other worlds? Is that what's happening?
Also, it might not be a bad idea to tag your chapters with the name of the property it's based on instead of just the planet's name. I was a third of the way into the first chapter before I figured out this was Pokémon.
Kinda want to see a chapter where the humans just pack up and head to a new planet.
And if/when Equestria pops up there, they go back to Earth.
Repeat ad nausium to the sound of Benny Hills, until the humans get fed up and blast Equestria from orbit.
Next stop: WH40K
Hmmm...what about the Gmod Universe? TCB has nuthin' on that! Especially, logic!
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The humor here is kinda meta - basically my brain couldn't handle Cannon!Celestia actually acting out the plot of a Conversion Bureau story, so 'Xlestia' the evil stand-in came about.
And the tagging thing - I want to balance the world between being easy to recognize and not obvious from the start.
Nice fic, hope to see more of it. I can think of an old RPG world or two that might work for this. But I doubt either of them are twell known enough that anyone would recall them. So I'll just toss out a world that would flat out drive TCB bonkers. Namely the Mario world and by the Mario world I'm Including the side franchises that tie into it, Meaning the Wario land, Donkey Kong country, Yoshi's Island in addition to the world from the Main platformers along with the RPG games like Paper Mario, Mario and Luigi and what have you. Between the frequent Kidnappings, chaotic sports events, and anchen horrors attempting to break out ever year or so, along with the sheer scope of things that the Mario Galaxy games brings into things I'd bet TCB would pop up, get a read on the situation... and promptly run away screaming inside a week.
More worlds: Marvel. DC. Possibly Dragon Ball Z. Or Naruto. Or BLEACH. Or any other world of super-powered defenders. Final Fantasy.
I'm a little bit sad that Celestia didn't end up trapped inside a masterball.
Do one where its Warhammer 40k on Terra or any human world during the great crusade and have Celestia come face to face with the God emperor of mankind and his Primarch sons
you'd think mew and the others would just imprison her and be done with it, they've got to see what her plan is by now.
also ... does it really kill everything on two legs because a lot of pokemon stand to in younger evolutions or some permantly... if not fallout would be good. there are plenty of nightmarish creatures I can just see the entire dc super mutants vacating to the light and annihilating the ponies weak towns by the droves.
also Deathclaws, Mirlurks, Tunnelers, Casadors, are incredibly hard some impossible to get rid of.... soo new hostile to all indigenous life. good luck dealing with the creatures, ... ohh and appaloosa doomed for sure, and Canterlot well all those caves good luck Tunnelers have been know to kill Deathclaw so.... here's a quote for you about them since Canterlots about to be lunch in the near future... oh also not sure if the barrier will mater with ghouls if not well.
"They'll start emerging throughout the Mojave in time, might be years. Probably less. They breed fast, hunt in groups, more than enough to bring down the strongest in the Mojave. Once they draw blood... Seen them tear apart deathclaws... Deathclaw might get some, but the rest will swarm it, tear it apart, like Denver hounds. "
Well, if we're dealing with someone with a greater aversion to primordial chaos, we need look no farther than Sailor Moon. She isn't going to see a being of harmony when she encounters Xenolestia....she's going to see just another avatar of chaos to defeat.
I would suggest the world of conker, but i honestly can't remember if there even were any humans in that. Might make a good side story though ponies turned into squirrels and teddy bears etc.
Never read anything containing the Conversion Bureau because I took one look at the Alternate Universe tag and said "Nope." Now I think I have a grasp of it. Thank you for showing me yet another widespread alternate universe in which Celestia is evil.
On a related note, this was actually entertaining. I like seeing good beat bad when good is likeable, and making the opening chapter Pokemon related is worth about a million points in my book. You have earned yourself a favourite.
Nirn, the Elder Scrolls world.
Fallout Earth.
Drangleic, the Dark Souls II Kingdom.
Gears of War planet, I want to say Terra but I'm not sure that's it.
Really any fantasy rpg.
How about a world in the Dr. Who multiverse in the middle of a cybermen attack? They'd just upgrade anyone converted. Alternatively, same thing with Star Trek and the Borg.
Friendship is Optimal? Kind of the same thing as above with different semantics/interactions.
What about the world of the Conversion Bureau itself? XLestia comes in just as normal CB-Lestia is enacting her plan, hijinks ensue.
Maybe a world with negative continuity like Invader ZIm or Grim Adventures - XLestia would convert the entire planet, only to wake up the next day to find everything's exactly the same as before and no one remembers it happening.
Maybe a TV show that's so vapid/devoid of thought/irritating that XLestia just outright abandons the invasion? Bonus points if it's another Hasbro toy shill.
Perhaps a filler chapter wherein XLestia opens the portal to a world without humans, e.g. anthropomorphs/funny animals and fails by definition. Bonus points if it's an old MLP Gen (maybe she'd get a kick out of ponifying Meghan).
That's all's I got for now, hope it helps.
Have 'Xlestia' come into the world of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, there you have the entirety of Looney Tunes and animated Disney.
Humanity is getting beaten back from the barrier, and with humanity being forcibly ponified, the toons get pissed (The ponies are taking away their audience) and unleash the entirety of Toontown on to Equestria where Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse take on 'Xlestia' personally.
You want a world where conversion doesn't make sense? How about Equestria?
Xlestia turns up to to turn all the locals into ponies; but wait, they already are ponies!
Oh, no! Team Rocket stole the "R" from stronger! Now the last laugh is theirs!
Harry Potter universe. Dementors.
TCB vs Azeroth.
Time to show exactly how powerful constant war can make you.
5663619 But I can't see how conversion makes no sense here...
Conversion is not making sense in Halo, Mass-Effect and Prototype either then...
TCB versus Heuco Mundo of Bleach; watch as all the Hollows devour the ponies for their 'reiatsu'!
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In the case of Kanto the local humans (with the exception of the Teams) are friendlier than the ponies are. Add to that that they can counter the main issues of TCB and Conversion simply isn't going to work.
5670378 In Mass-Effect it isn't going to work either because the Reapers would come and kill them and they lost their way to fight back thanks to Xlestia then, and think about it:
How does she convert a race of mechanicals (if I remember correctly) or atleast synthetics?
She would sign her own doom since it is IMPOSSIBLE to convert the Reapers.
Metal Earth from Brutal Legend. I highly doubt they overcome the sheer might of metal.
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The traditional barrier of TCB stories dissolves machine-made objects. Sorry, Metal Earth might actually be more vulnerable than normal.
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Same as above. Of course in Mass Effect's case, Paragon!Shepard would just convince all the ponies to stage a coup.
5670740 You realize that in that world there are motorcycle boars? Hell if it came down to it, the titans would probably come down and fuck them up.
Prototype! It's a world where Mercer(Protagonist) can absorb any being, including their memories and powers, shape his body into weapons, can shoot a bioweapon out of his body and is a hivemind. Not mentioning the supersoldiers, weapons, advanced tech of Blackwatch.
Then there's Prototype 2 with dozens of the above ^^^^^^ people like Mercer, all running around with his powers but at a lesser extent and one pissed off black guy that tore down two armies just to get at the man who killed his daughter.
I don't remember TCB having immunities to viruses so that doesn't seem like a world where they'd be welcome.
The Elemental Countries would fuck her up big time.
I liked it, gonna take a look at what else you have.
5670980 I'd like to see that. Amaya gets Ponified, Heller goes crazy. Lots of ponies die.
Great first world. I'd talk about the advantages of Friendship in the Pokemon world compared to Equestria, but it all boils down to Friendship as a source of power being a ubiquitous function of the Pokemon world. Sure, lots of ponies are friends, but Friendship as a core concept is necessary for a bunch of evolutions to work, so its effects are blatant. Probably the best example is the move Return, which has a 102-fold attack increase from minimum to maximum Friendship. To me, that alone would work, and that would not even require the Legendaries to step in. And considering the state of harmony, the elements would have no effect on most priority targets.
I'm hooked.
Extremely refreshing departure from the endless Mary Sue Celly fics (namely White Mare, the ending specifically)
I like it, I like it!
Just found this from TvTropes! Cool!
I guess there were some rewrites since the initial post? Since comments don't seem to match up, like, no mentions of "the author".
Onto the next chapter!
Typo: gabbing > grabbing
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Yeah, TV Tropes has sent nearly 5,000 people my way now. It's ridiculous. I never thought for a moment that my little off-the-cuff fic would be mentioned in the same breath as the other big TCB fics, let alone get on the Conversion Bureau trope page!
And yeah, rewrites. The initial idea for the story was that Celestia refused to appear in it, so I - the author - had to hire a changeling called Xlestia to act out her part. Only trouble was, I forgot to publish the prologue that explained that.
In addition to not making sense, the reviewers made it clear that it wasn't at all funny, so I went in with my handy backspace key and dropped it.