Part of a machine, I am not a human being.
This story is a sequel to Doing Hurtful Things to My Waifu
There are six quick, flawless and easy ways to properly making a relationship into something more. Follow these, and you'll be on your way in no-time.
--
Prequel should be read first. If you want I mean.
(If you would like a much better version: Wabam
This shit got featured. dope.
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Wow. Such heartwarming. Much love.
Seriously though, this is one of the most heartwarming stories I've read in a while. I simply love stories like these, to put it simply.
Though a small part of me still wants to knock the Ex out, seeing him walk away like that is just as satisfying.
Like and Flavorite. I expect great stories from you.
5664493 lol it failed moderation. genius on my part. Oh well, now I can submit it again at a better time. I was afraid cause it only has five views and was gonna be like, "O.o wut"
But thank you very much for the praise and I promise, I'll improve my writing. Maybe one day I will write something decent, hmm?
Hey, it's here!
I'ma read this.
Yes!
I am reading it immediately!
5666651 woah. everybody relax. lol :p
5666613
5666696 What do you mean relax?! I'm perfectly relaxed!
5666703 Good. I hope you enjoyed the short tale of some asshole abusing Rainbow Dash, and then you coming to save the day.
5666747 I'm almost done, I'm on step five.
5666751 For me it is saying that there are no words in total. like wut? :p
5666770 Huh... Me too... just ignore it, I'm sure it will fix itself.
Well, finished reading it...I am not disappoint.
Still, there's one thing that's bugging me. I know that in context of the story it's heartwarming, but it still bites at me because it's not possible. Throughout the series, Rainbow Dash has identified colors time and time again. So the colorblind thing is bitter-sweet to me. But even then, that nitpick is so minor that you couldn't even pick it with a pair of tweezers.
This was a good story and I'm glad that I kept an eye out for it. Congrats man.
Alright... I'm done... I can die happy now.
As for you, dear Author, this is for you.
i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--dqo7xcS---/aekfnvotj2m1odneby9w.jpg
Oh. It's finally posted.
Time for me to take a looksie.
5666797
Ah, I've had plenty of conversations with my friends and I'll tell you that colorblind people can distinguish colors partially. I can't explain it myself, I think it has something to do with what is commonly a color and how grey it is- and apparently the shape. So, I feel that Rainbow Dash would too.I see what you meant. You were taking into account the actual show. Ahh....Well, when I write stories, I often through everything that MLP has told me and just take the characters. So...my bad.
Thank you dearly for sticking around. I hope it warmed your heart.
5666823 derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/9/320959/full.gif
5666797
5666859
If I may, there are actually multiple different kinds of color-blindedness. The three most common are one for people with reduced sensitivity to red (Protanopia), one for reduced sensitivity to green (Deuteranopia, I actually have this), and one for reduced sensitivity to blue (Tritanopia).
I can tell that a color is green by itself, but I can't distinguish green from yellow or red if you put them together, unless it was glaringly obvious between the two (depending on the shade, I can't tell red from dark green, and light green from yellow). So it probably isn't too far-fetched a claim if she was able to distinguish certain colors in the show; she might just not have the color blindness that people mostly think of (Achromatopsia, if I remember correctly, is the color blindness where everything is monochrome, and is the rarest form of color blindness).
Just tossing my two cents in to this discussion; I like this story and I hope to see more. Excellent work.
Damn, you cranked this out fast.
Anyway, that was quite enjoyable. I got more of a laugh out of the prequel due to its sadistic nature, but this was a nice change and great way to wrap up the story. And that ending was brilliant!
5666859 Oh, I see what you mean. No one either in my family or that I've met has ever been colorblind (that I know of) so I don't really know too much about colorblindness aside from the blatantly obvious part of it. What I do know about seeing colors is that everyone sees them differently. Like some people can see some colors as a darker tint while another sees them as being as bright as Pinkie Pie.
Also, I wish I could say that the story did warm my heart, but oddly enough as someone who's yet to even officially be 18 (only a few months away, actually) I think I've lost the ability to have anything warm my heart. I've been told that I'm too kind for my own good, and I'm definitely far away from having a heart of stone, but love just ain't something that hits me at all. Again, still a young person, so I might just be talking about something I'm too inexperienced to understand, but the lack of feeling's still there.
...
Wow, this story's making me talk a little bit deeper than I usually do. I'm gonna shut up now, everyone ignore the philosophy spouting teenager!
I couldn't help but smile at the story itself. I'm glad I stuck around when the prequel came, and I'm also glad to see that Dash's ex got what was coming to him.
Thank you for writing this. It made my day.
There's something fucking hilarious about this getting upvoted so hard after looking at the first story's incredibly mixed reception.
5666935 Oh, well thanks for the medical lesson. I'll certainly keep that in-mind next time I'm dealing with my blind grandma.
EDIT 24 weeks, 3 days later: Holy shit that was rude. I am dearly sorry. Seriously, thank you for your input, I will honestly use it for reference!
5666972 Ahh, thank you sir. It was cranked because its poor quality, but if you enjoyed it, then swellness to the world. Thanks for the support.
5666979 18 is young adult dude lol. Chill out. Actually I found myself very entranced by the idea of love the younger i wa. when i got some, its....ehh. and im not talking about sex, btw. But same thing applies.
i think its more powerful when you use your kiddy imagination and when you get older, sudden reality gets ya.
5667009 Oh, goodness. Made your day? You make mine with your lovely praise. you deserve all the women.
5667013 lol that's what got me laughing too. Majority of those votes were from first impressions without reading. but its whatever man. i knew it was gonna happen. Id rather write it for the people who will read than not write it at all.
Considering how condensed the capers are, I'll collect my thoughts on the 2nd half here. Regardless of how fast and to the point this was, this is basically the flip side to the other tale. I will place spoiler tags as appropriate.
Chapter 1 - Considering we appear to be picking up where the last one left off, we see she's once again brash and outgoing. After the last idiot, she appears to have healed. Considering the breakup likely occurred right before this first date, we can theorize really excessive Friendship Therapy with Pinkie Pie and company.
Chapter 2 - In the words of Silver Quill, "CONTINUITY!" Here we have a moment where there's a reference to the last idiot. One sticking point I found interesting was the description of how calm she was when she asked about lack of eye contact. Once she shows relief that this won't be another idiot, you can see she's warming up to him. And him to her as well.
Chapters 3, 4, 5 - While not referencing their respecting counterparts, you can see the pure absolute sense of contrast between the event pairs in each of the stories stories. Contemptuous Smack vs. Comforting Cuddles, Callous words vs. Encouraging Ideas, and of course Words of Hate vs. Words of Love.
Interesting thoughts: Rainbow Dash brings up acceptance into college to the last idiot, who we see treat the idea very derisively, especially in Chapter 4. In the second tale, this is still an upcoming thing. Did she actually have to delay college because of emotional trauma inflicted by the last idiot? Considering tale one occurs 1 year ago and tale two occurs after that first year, that means Rainbow Dash either rebounded to the new guy hard, recovered very fast with a lot help from her friends considering the sheer nonsense the last idiot put her through, or all of the above.
Chapter 6 - The Jackpot chapter. Commentary that she should go to school on campus followed by an epically declared proposal. He declares himself for her and, of course, vice versa with feather given from her to him. But the payoff is back in the present, where he shows what was in the box in the last tale was indeed another feather. And therein lies the last contrast. Our boy's feather is still hearty, hale, and full of life. The feather meant for the last idiot? A bedraggled mess. Still a little life... lingering feelings, I guess?
My guess is our boy was told about the last idiot (probably by his Lady and her many friends), and our boy was given that other feather. He sought out the last idiot to confirm that he was, indeed, an idiot, And he was epically proven correct.
Both tales, by themselves, are basically the meme expanded upon into the skeleton of a tale. The bones to me seem well crafted. There are a few issues ("Amathyst gem", proper spelling is amethyst) but those are negligible.
From this skeleton, it's entirely feasible to craft a tale about recovering from an abusive relationship, and striving to move forward. Whether you, or another, expands on this concept is of course, up to you.
While the first tale earns a 'like', it only keeps it due to the presence of this tale, which has easily earned the like and favorite.
My dear Author, you've already noticed that you've earned my follow, but I hadn't mentioned the reason. I always have a reason. In your case, it's simply having the sheer nerve to try this. You wrote an admittedly uncomfortable tale for the sake of completing the image that the meme provides into story form.
Please bear in mind... you now have my attention.
My... undivided... attention.
...
5667038
It's not exactly poor, but it could be better. A lot better.
However, that doesn't detract from the fact that it is a good story. Simple, to the point, and enjoyable to read.
The reason why I didn't like the last one was because it was a bit choppy. This one is stronger in presentation. Not to mention that you got a lot of dislikes because of people adding it to the "Why?" and "Absolutely Disgusting" groups, which spread hate to stories majority of the time (no offense to them either, it just happens). Plus, they judged it on word count, not on story content, which is wrong.
Now I got that out of my system, let's put it this way: the content of that story was a bit weaker in representation versus this one, with its stronger and more creative ending. I like that usage of symbolism at the end. Powerful.
Good job.
Also, you need to go through this again to fix those minor spelling and grammar errors. There was at least three in chapter four (they are glaring) and a few in chapter three.
All I see is a story on how to get a woman that is just going to be a giant whore later.
5668502 ahh, i love detailed reviews. More or less summations. I'm surprised this story made you think so much. I guess it is the simple and shorts ones that allow for the most freedom of thought, hmm? (oh and thanks for making them spoilers. very much appreciated
)
i mean yeah, this story is...the absolute most basic version I could make of the memes. And uhh....I was thinking of making a bonus chapter where you just beat the shit out of the 'idiot'. Cause I know you guys would like that. Tehe...I'm just going to generally answer all the thoughts you have on all the chapters.
I wrote them with very subtle hints to her past relationship at first and once it was out of the way, I decided Rainbow would act as though it was all behind her. So I just wrote a super lovey-dovey sap-story that gave everything Rainbow Dash wanted.
Ah yeah i do have some awkward spelling sometime. Like I said, minimum effort put into these two, and both written within like...an hour or so of timeframe. and i was editing another story, and reading fallout equestria (
)
5669185 Oh, well then! Thanks for reassuring me. I say shit because I know I can write better than this, but meh. I didn't find the drive to really do much more than the minimum. But thanks for your nourishment of my ego. <3
(I don't have a lot of time)
Thanks for telling me the ending was good. Wasn't totally sure it would satisfy the reader or not. I was thinking of just having an epic fight, but decided the more meaningful ending was powerful to the real readers with brains.
not to say a hard beating isn't satisfying. I might add it as a bonus chapter,just for fun.
I'll get those grammar errors when I can ^_~ Thanks for the feedback!!! <3
5669713 To each their own!
dawwwwwwwwwwwww
much better story
Wow, first I was like "A story about Rainbow Dash falling in love with you?"
files.sharenator.com/119685.jpg
But seriously, I'm glad I gave this one a shot.
First off, I'm reeeally not into all that feelsy stuff, this has got to be the first lovestory I've ever read to the end.
So I guess it's no real surprise that some parts had a little too much feelsy-stuff to them in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who like a little more of those things, and the whole story probably wouldn't be a good romance if the narrator wouldn't use every other paragraph to tell us about how every aspect of his partner is perfection at its finest, but it just was a little too much of it here and there if you ask me.
But regardless of that, it was a great story with a lot of emotions. Not only the whole thing with making RD colorblind and having the narrator explain the world's colors to her in a really heart-warming way (which was a master-stroke, by the way) but also that one funny scene in chapter three that really seemed to ease the mood made the whole thing worth a second read.
Oh and another thing I liked was the rather surprising turn at the end. I mean, I really didn't see the whole thing with the feather coming. Nice one!
And concerning errors ... well, there were one or two things that caught my attention but seeing how you wrote all this in just an hour (probs for that, by the way) it's perfectly alright.
So, yeah, not getting tired of reviewing your stuff yet :3
5670228 I have to say I'm not into super feely things either. I like the more realistic approach to relationships. Way more interesting to me. But with this, I had to make it super hype for the love interest because that is what the meme did.
Funny scene in chapter three? Which was that? Don't think I remember purposely writing one :p and yes, I thought you of all people would like the ending. I may or may not write a bonus chapter where you beat the shit out of her ex :P
heh...What about when we collab? Gonna review our own stuff?
5670209 THANKS!!:D
FIRST
5670564 summonsboard-news.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/good-job-job-lucky-star-konata-izumi-good-anime-otakus-1375040667.jpg
5670411 Well I sure am glad I'm not the only one who's more into realisitic depictions of relationships, though I can see why you made it a little over-the-top, with it being based on the meme and all.
Anyway, while you apparently didn't intend it to be funny, I had a good laugh at Rainbow Dash's encounter with the spider.
And don't get me wrong, I mean it's your story so you can write whatever the hell you want, but I personally wouldn't want another chapter just dedicated to the second guy beating the shit out of the first guy. I know there's a lot of people who would like to see something like that, I just think that adding a whole chapter just to make that guy suffer ('cuz "hurr durr he's made muh waifu suffer") would be just a little too edgy.
But really, that's just me, go ahead and write whatever you feel like writing.
And sure, why not? Writing a several pages long review to a story you've written (or edited) yourself sounds like a great idea. Provided, of course, that this review ends with an absolutely modest and down-to-earth "11/10 - greatest story in the universe!"
OMG! I love the "Doing NOT Hurtful Things to Your Waifu" memes! Thank you for making it into a story
5671746 It's why I am here dude. Thanks for checking it out and supporting.
5670940 I love that guy.
5670649 oh lol, the spider scene. That's cause I saw a spider on my fucking computer. The little bastard got the shoe.
ahh, I see. It won't be for canon or anything, it will be sort of an optional chapter, just for me to have the hero pummel the fuck out of the ex. Just for fun. :P Kinda like an alternate ending.
ahh, thanks for the amazing review. You IGN wannabe.
5672092 I'm just wondering, will you be doing other characters? If so, can I make a request?
5672097 Uhh...Well, perhaps! Maybe one day I will, but right now, I am on the roll with a collab with my friend. So it may take me some time.
5672106 Okay :)
This story had so many daaaaaawwww moments,I loved this short story, keep up the great work!
5672220 Thank you kind sir. Hope you enjoy being the G of the universe.
Oh my gooooood, that's so cute
My heart just exploded by the sheer amount of dawwwwwness.
5664961
Yay. Sequel.
Very nice read and a very satisfying ending.
the two stories together make a really nice depiction of the (Not) Doing hurtfull things to your waifu.
Like said - you can send your heroes trough hell - if there is a happy end waiting for them. I felt pity with RD in the first part - and endjoyed the second part.
The ending - as in the last part - was perfect. I like this symbolism with the feathers. Nice idea (don't know if this is canon - propably not - or general fanon - but if not I would like to use this idea, if you allow.)
Uhmm. critique... yeah... maybe a bit nitpicking.
The only thing I could see, is the idea with colorblind RD - don't know, this is somehow not my taste. And it comes out of nowhere. Maybe it would have been better to let her cope on her last relationship some more instead. But - as others appreciated the colorblind-idea - it seems to be a matter of taste.
Anyway - have my like and my fav.
And... a new follower.
5673832 Of course you can use that idea! Even if I said no, what am I gonna do? Start a riot? :P
and, well...I do agree, it was an out-of-the-blue idea, but what is done is done. Ultimately, it doesn't matter and doesn't do anything to the story, which is both good and bad. It was simply a daw moment. That's what I wanted. Maybe if I incoprorated it a little more in the first tale, it'd have been better, but...oh well. Thanks for the love, and I hope you enjoy a follow. <3
5672092
Heh alright, I see. Well then, go ahead and write it. Like I said, it's your story and if you wanna write about RD's ex getting beaten up, go ahead and write it. I'm sure a couple of people who read the story would love to read something like that.
And lol, you're welcome. Though I suppose you can't call those stubs actual reviwes. It's more like, well, adding my two cents and looking for something that makes the story at least a little less enjoyable to read.
But I promise I'll do a 'proffesional' review for one of your stories one day
so far so good (I would have seen this sooner but I was checking roughly15 or more stories for updates first) this is an interesting story. cant wait for more stories wile I catch up on this one!
I feel there should be a comment somewhere on this great story
oops gues I fixed that
5682880 Hey, thanks! You should check out the prequel sometime.
This is really cute so far. Also, THANK YOU for not making it HiE.
5692836 lol I considered it for like...a whole five seconds. Thanks for the support <3