• Member Since 26th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Saturday

BookeCypher


Professor of Antiquities at Pallomare University and a consulting editor at Polo House, Inc. Publishing. Occasionally goes by the pen name 'Dragontrapper'

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle has spent months researching chaos magic, developing a new spell to unlock magic nopony has ever experienced before. But when something goes wrong with casting, Twilight finds herself turned into a Draconequus and unable to control her new chaos magic. If she ever wants to be a pony again, there is only one who can help her learn to control her new magic.

Of course, learning from Discord was never going to be simple. And after a while, being a draconequus doesn't seem so bad anyway....

Based on the concept by Lopoddity

Editing by DB_Explorer
Proofreading by Mac349 (Ch. 1-11), Trippy998, Just A Fabulous Cat (Ch. 1-5), Doctor Candor and skysthelimit (Ch. 1-11).

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 2419 )

And after a while, being a draconequus doesn't seem so bad anyway....

Well yeah. You can shapeshift into your old pony self whenever you want, AND you have phenomenal cosmic powers! Anyway, onto reading.

OH MY GOSH!!!! Not only another Twicord story, but an AMAZING one at that. This was too much fun to read! Too much fun. You rock. :pinkiehappy: I loved everything, from the story to the characterization, to the little hints about how complex chaos magic was. Silly, creative, and a blast to read! Thanks for posting. I can't wait for more.

Very nice, everyone's in character, and Mayor Mare's deadpan telling Twilight to go back to her nearest parallel dimension was priceless. That said, you could use an editor. There weren't many problems, but there were some issue with then/than, your/you're, a place where quotation marks were missing, etc.

Also, quotation marks. Rule 1 for ending quotation marks! When you afterwards explain how something was said (Whispered, shouted, said, said smugly, etc) end it with a comma INSIDE the quotations and lowercase the next word. Like so:

"Hello, Twilight," he greeted.

Rule 2 for ending quotation marks! When you afterwards go into something else, end with a period INSIDE the quotations and uppercase the next word. Observe:

"Twilight... please go away. Right now." To drive her point home, Luna summoned a KEEP OUT sign.

Rule 3 for ending quotation marks! ! ? and ... all override the comma/period rule, and names of people/places/things overrides the uppercase/lowercase rule. Watch:

"Rainbow! Get back here, I'm gonna kill you!" Twilight shouted.

5658284

I actually have an editor - but everyone misses things, including my brother. Thanks for the tips.

I love it so far!:twilightsmile:

Yes... I like very much :raritystarry:

LOTS of promise...
i like how you had her realise just what Discord does when he does discord stuff
i mean, "Twilight couldn't help but stare at the scene before her. Now that she knew what she was looking for, Discord's casual disregard for causality was jaw-dropping. She had been overjoyed to manage a counter-gravitational force on a single apple. She could feel the strings of influence he was plucking, a pulse of unidirectional force sending the dozen or so jacks upward with every tap of the ball. A dozen miniature reactionless drives just to play a game."
this shows just how much effort has to do in order to do his thing...

This is amazing. Please continue. :twilightsmile:

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

I really like this story, but the then/than problem really irks me. I hope you fix it! :twilightsmile:

Wanderer D
Moderator

Huh, don't see Twi as a draconequus much these days. I hope this one doesn't follow the path of the few before it and end up abandoned. Other than that, good intro! I look forward to reading the rest!

"single thin st single thin string"
Other than that no major spelling errors that jumped out at me. Looks good so far! Looking foreward to seeing more.

If she ever want's to be a pony again, there is only one who can help her learn to control her new magic.

Ah, that'd be Tirek of course! Seeing as how he sucked out all of Discord's chaos magic in one gulp and it didn't even give him indigestion!

Yep, good ol' Tirek can just take any power he wants and use it like it's nooooo problem at all! Who better than the guy who can use any and all magic as his own instantly without any preparations or training whatsoever to teach Twilight how to powergame?

(Alondro's intention may have been slightly facetious regarding this notion...) :trollestia:

5659333

:facehoof: I wrote this on Mopad (online collaboration thing) and the internet connection dropping out would dupicate lines - no idea why. Thought I'd grabbed all of them. thanks.

First chapter and i'm already hooked!

Dammit, fine, I'm buying into this. But don't think I'm happy about it!

5659824

Hey, I usually ship Discord and Celestia - how do you think I feel about it?

5659831 While I, on the other hand, ship Twilight and Celestia.

well now! this looks fun!

all in all, very good! it's funny, it's witty, and I was hearing the character's voices doing their lines- not often that happens, but a good indication of quality.

very interested to see more of this.

Twicord, sure, why not.

I will find you...
And I will slap you...
IF YOU DO NOT UPDATE!

Box

I've been looking for a fanfic where Twilight turns into a draconequus, I love this story and can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

I see a beautiful opportunity for worldbuilding here. I only hope I discover the best of it in this story. :rainbowdetermined2:

56

"Well, at least your symmetrical."

*you're

Interesting... very interesting... FIM has to feature this cause this may hold lots of comedy...

"Are you a God?"
"I work for two, and am personally acquainted with a third plus two more in training."

the strange purple creature groaned in Twilight's voice. "Are you alight?"

*alright

"Dracoequus." Twilight idly corrected.

*draconequus

Twilight, you've been glaring at that apple for twenty minutes."

*" at the beggining

So far I like it very much. Could use a bit of editing for spelling and such, though.

Well I for one prefer the ms fluttercord but damn this story is good me wants more:yay:

Consider me intrigued.

5660472 The "idly" is correct. From idle.

Anyways, here's more!

Twilight's purple and pink "main"
mane

brought Twilight and Spikes
brought Twilight's and Spike's

This is extremely promising. Fav'd, liked and put into 'All Things Discord'.
I'm looking forward to more.

If Discord is the lord of chaos would Twilight be the Lady of orderly chaos:rainbowhuh:

This looks really good so far. I can't wait for the next part!

The sound of a nervous throat clearing brought Twilight and Spikes attention back to in front of them, where Mayor Mare was standing somewhat nervously as she fiddled with her neckerchief. The silver-haired mare coughed again, adjusting her glasses before finally speaking. "Miss draconequus? Good evening. As the duly-designated representative of the town of Ponyville, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension."

Don't think I didn't catch that reference... you brilliant person you.

I especially like how you characterise different magic and all the headcanon that comes along with it.
There is one misplaced 'your', however:

"Well, at least your symmetrical."

Other than that, I can't wait to read more!

I'm gonna wait till it' finished to read but looks great just from seeing the description.

Great story so far! Love the concept. You might want to have a friend or something check your spelling/grammar, though.

"Okay Sparkle - deep breathes" -> "Okay Sparkle - deep breaths"

"It's...its' fine! Go away Discord!" -> "It's...it's fine! Go away Discord!"

"Not based on that crashing, its not." -> "Not based on that crashing, it's not."

Discord's eye's wide as his fur seemed to fluff out. ->Discord's eyes wide as his fur seemed to fluff out.

"Had to help Spike find the other." She replied with a shrug. -> "Had to help Spike find the others." She replied with a shrug.

All eyes - Twilights included -> All eyes - Twilight's included



I'll check more later. Keep up the great storytelling!

My Headcanon moment (feel free to steal the concept...or lambast me for spoiling the surprise....or ignore me entirely...but this just makes too much sense not to mention)
Pinkie pie is a natural chaos mage. The Pinkie Sense and her physics defying antics are her instinctive use of chaos magic. She can't control it for specific results, but has learned how to make use of it on an instinctive level, rather than a deliberate one. This explains why Twilight couldn't figure it out in the beginning, she had no idea how to even go about detecting, much less measuring and cataloging, chaos magic. Now that she knows about chaos magic, she will be able to detect Pinkie's abilities as they are used, and recognize them as what they are.

Also, I LOVE this fic. Is this going to end up a Twilicord pairing? Do I even care? lol. Wonderful work, keep it up. Definitely watching this one for updates.

Cool story! I really like how you described 'chaos magic', it was very visual and from now on every time I see Discord I'll be trying to think about which strings he's pulling and how. On the other hand this chapter isn't a very good chapter to start a story out. When there are so many stories on Fimfic alone you really need a good hook to grab a readers attention. If I wasn't really interested in the subject I might have just read the first paragraph and moved on to something more interesting, which would be a shame because this chapter was fairly well written. The biggest problem I think was that the first paragraph was a bunch of exposition that I was being told happened "off screen." There were a few cases of this in the rest of the chapter. It's the old tale of show don't tell. It's easy to say but hard to do. I think a better first chapter might have been showing Twilight's intense research into this new subject, giving us little hints along the way as to what it was but not revealing it to be Chaos magic until the end. That way you grab my attention and make me eager to read more. Which I am by the way. (Super excited to read more that is.:twilightsmile:)
Which probably makes this comment hypocritical...:rainbowhuh:
..........Oops!:derpytongue2:

"I can tell you what happened." All eyes - Twilights included - turned to Discord. The Draconequus had seated himself in a wingback chair that hadn't been there a moment before, blowing bubbles from a pipe as he relaxed in a crimson smoking jacket. "She ate an energy field larger than her head."

This.
This is where you earned my like and favorite.

Four hours, a great deal of frustration and one very nice spot of tea courtesy Fluttershy later, the others had left and Twilight was left with just Spike to assist her. She didn't blame her friends for leaving - she had told most of them to leave after a couple of hours anyway.

cup of tea
So. . .how many hours did they spent in Twilights' home?

Twilight watched as the tea started to steam, and she had no doubt that it was due to the ice cubes attracting the cold out of the drink. She turned her gaze from the thermodynamic impossibility and to the cosmic puppeteer lounging in front of her with his chocolate milk of glass. "Actually, I can here to ask for help."

glass of chocolate milk, unless the glass itself is made out of chocolate milk, and since we're talking about Discord, it is possible for that to happen

5661862

A couple of hours - watching a draconequus stare at apples is only interesting for so long.

Also - 1600 Views and featured on the front page!? Thanks you guys.

5661862 Spot of tea is legitimate expression.
lrn2correct.

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