• Member Since 8th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

King Artermis


I write to write, and will try to help those that are having life troubles. My IRL friends labeled me the male Princess Luna because of my night owl status. I am King Artermis of the Moon.

T

The wasteland has been watched over by one pony that is farther than any other. He waits on the moon to return to Equis, and rid it of the poison that has seeped into the soil, and air of Equestria.

Join him in his quest to assist one very well known stable dweller in her quest to fix what was wronged two centuries before.

Also, I only own the character that I created, and the plot of my story, if you haven't read Fallout: Equestria by Kkat, then I highly suggest doing so as this story splits off of that one.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 5 )

For once, your formatting is really weird. Indenting is well and good, but if you indent something, there should be a space line between it and the paragraph before. Everything else looks weird.

Along with this comes the "problem" of many of your paragraphs beginning with an "I". It looks weird too. Try varying a bit with the beginnings of sentences/paragraphs.

Do spacing in general, just do it. The chapter "Memories" for example looks awful when it comes to formatting. And I'm noone who uses the word awful carelessly.

Here is a tip for all of those who are spacing watchers, there is a line spacing option in the formatting options, so I don't have to waste lines spacing it out for you all.

5908368
You know you've got unlimited lines to do with as you will? So there's no need to not "waste lines".

5908377
Yes, but it is a pain in the flank to go through 6000 words and double space all of the paragraphs when the readers can just go up to the formatting options, and double space it without a struggle. So there is no reason for me to waste my time doing so.

But, thank you for the constructive critisism

5923812
It's actually not that much work, especially in chapters that are *just* 3000 words each at max. Imagine what work it is to look for typos or grammar errors in 6000 words. But it's work you - as an author who cares about his story and wants it to be as good and good-looking as possible - should be willing to take.

And the "spacing option" you mentioned doesn't solve the problem of lacking spacing at all. It just increases the distance between lines, meaning that a wall of text is still a wall of text with the site's "formatting/spacing", the only difference it that it looks even more awkward.

But after all, I can only give you advice on how to do things with the formatting, I can't make them for you or make you apply them. It's all up to you.

Login or register to comment