I like to write, but because of certain personal issues including confidence I took a halt. If you read this, either you found my first fic or I finally wrote something new. Enjoy.
Two bronies go to sleep in a faithful night, when they are moved to the land of Equestria. They wake up completely confused as they discover that they surrounded by a crowd of ponies, amazed by these creatures. The two bronies are then putted in custody of two mares. The two mares find love in the two humans, but fate has other ideas.
Page generated in 0.085 seconds
Total duration
851 users online
1,245,340 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
d'aww
Don't say 2. Two is more pro.
562906 Gah, my bad, i'm used "2" it.
x)
Sorry, two boring for me.
Don't know why though
Not bad. It's probably much better than anything I could write.
Areas you could improve:
-small spelling and grammar errors
-feels rushed, too much is crammed into too little text
-transitions need to be a bit smoother
The concept is interesting and certainly kept me engaged. My advice would be to rewrite it, putting much more detail into it. If nothing else, go over it again and edit it.
Don't give up. This has real potential. Most of the issues would be fixed if you made it about two to three times as long and took time to edit it.
563189 this was really just something i wrote for fun. Seeing it has potential, i will make another fic. Maybe i will re-write someday . Thanks anyways
*looks at the cover image*
...Russian Roulette anyone?
google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_mJmwQtPmusk/SlYnS9LBNII/AAAAAAAAD7E/XIhX0R02hFI/s400/russian+roulette.jpg&sa=X&ei=K2WpT8fCLMSL8gPnq53WBA&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNF2pSrKZGyS6noqIWPVoGFLEoWh3g
563264 Winner gets to keep the letter
563387 Yea, but what's in the letter? I'm guessing it's dirty pictures of Celestia.
To be blunt, the grammar is terrible.
It through me off reading the story but I did anyway. Even then, it lacked some originality and I didn't ever really get into it.
On the plus side, the picture is pretty cool
563782 As i said before, this fic is was just for fun. You see, i wrote this because i wanted to see how well i would do with writing. I kinda dumped the fic mid-way, but a friend of mine told me i should continue it, so i did and here it is. 1st fic and you must say it wasn't bad of a story. I also have other stuff in mind to write, since i had fun writing this, i will write more.
very good
beautiful story very sad
I must say the story was good, yes it could do with a lot more content possibly around how Mark and Jack interact with the other mane 6 and some of the townsfolk. I would like to say if you do end up rewriting this story other then the above point i would like to see how you would play the mental downfall of Lyra and how she hatched the bombing, just a thought otherwise i hope to read more of your stories
568286 fell free to Watch me Because i have a lot of fics in mind. If i ever rewrite, it will be very late forward. Thank you for your review
Freaking AMAZING :D
563856 Hey, is that your artwork. It's amazing!
Aww man, you made me cry.
569157 Na'vi, no way that's my art. I could never draw something as awesome as that. I credited my good friend who drew this. You can find his Deviant Art profile there
Wait so is Mark alive or jack?
578517 Was there a confusing mistake? Please tell me so this moment doesn't happens anymore
. BTW, it was Jack who died 
580346 it was at that bit when fs came home and mark had to explain what happen to him and jack
sound's like a good read. I'll have to read this later.
"These humans, exactly one year ago, have magically appeared in our world. They lived in a horrid, bad, corrupted and unacceptable world. All humans are evil and corrupted and they don’t deserve to live in our world...”
My instant reaction: CLICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Good story!
Don't. fucking. cry.
This will make me sound insensitive but
I had trouble containing the laughter
