Lessons in quirks

by Mike84

Chapter XXIX

Rainbow Dash enjoyed the air stream on her face and in her mane as she soared low above the roofs of Ponyville. She loved the air stream as an indicator of speed and found it more animating than almost anything else. In these hot days it came with the additional bonus of providing cooling more refreshing than any shade. She would have enjoyed a little joyflying and felt tempted to spiral upwards to where clouds would have been supposed to be and do some of the stunts she always challenged herself to manage and through which, as a very welcome side effect, she earned the admiration of many of the citizens of Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash withstood the temptation to fly off track however and restricted herself to merely make the way towards the town hall in corkscrew spirals. Since she reached the imposing building in a matter of moments there wasn't a lot of time to go with though. In such moments her speed could be almost something of a drawback, Rainbow Dash thought with a twinge of regret as she spread her wings far in order to slow down. As she did so, she noticed there wouldn't be any need for her to land on the ground, for she spotted Frank Blanket sitting under the cupola of the town hall. He had set up his saddle-bag escritoire and was writing.

"Egghead all the way", Rainbow Dash thought as she flew closer.
Frank looked up only when she was almost close enough to land, but instead decided to keep floating in front of the cupola. His face brightened up as he saw her and he immediately put down the quill.
"Hello Rainbow Dash", he said, stepping out from behind the makeshift escritoire.
"Hi Frank", she responded trying to think of anything more to say. "What are you doing up here?"
It was the first question Rainbow Dash could think of and under different circumstances it would have been innocuous enough, but given the state of things Rainbow realized it was somewhat awkward.

"Didn't Twilight tell you I am—", Frank began, but Rainbow interrupted him.
"Uh, yeah. I mean, no. I haven't seen her, but Spike told us... me, Applejack and Pinkie Pie that is. I think he was going to get to the others as well."
There was a moment of silence and Rainbow Dash was rummaging her mind for something to say. When Spike had told about Frank's being remanded it had appeared to Rainbow Dash like a matter of course to fly here; very much like there was a friend in need of help. But now that she was here she didn't really know what to say or do since there wasn't really any help she could offer short of assisting in an outbreak that seemed to be as unreasonable as unintended by Frank.

"Looks like you outstripped me for the rank of Ponyville's worst criminal."
Frank blinked perplexed. "I beg your pardon?"
"Oh well, I guess till now I was kind of the worst criminal in Ponyville remembered history... short of Discord or other non-pony monsters I mean."
"What? You?" Frank asked amused and bemused at the same time.
"Oh well...", Rainbow Dash scratched her neck a little and squinted sideways in half-played and half-serious embarrassment, "...you see, I am not an egghead like Twilight or you; no offense meant."
"Celestia forbid you were", Frank joked.
"But when I was in hospital I came to really like the Daring Do book from their library and when they let me go before I had finished the book, I sneaked into the hospital at night to get it... I mean, I just meant to borrow it, I would have sneaked it back in."
"Why didn't you just ask if you could borrow that book?" Frank asked.
"And look like an egghead?" Rainbow Dash said in a tone suggesting for turning a petty thief to be the obvious choice of action instead.

Frank laughed out loud. "Such a horrible crook you are!"
Oddly enough the mock made Rainbow Dash defensive about her competence as a thief being questioned.
"Well, they would have never caught me had I been able to use my wing at the time. And it was the worst crime I remember ever being committed by a citizen of Ponyville. Well, this is kind of a sheltered place."

Frank still chuckled.
"And besides, I actually did something while you... you didn't take that money, did you?"
The question had been mostly rhetorical, but Frank grew serious instantly. "Of course I didn't!"
Rainbow Dash made a calming gesture and at last landed beside Frank underneath the cupola.
"So... what are you doing up here?" Rainbow Dash asked, this time feeling less awkward about it and looking at the escritoire.

"It's rather stuffy and hot down there", Frank said, pointing at the hatch with his head. I opened all the windows but it is still more pleasant up here. He took off his hat and fanned some air to himself. With a grin he added: "One of the benefits of being an earth pony is that I'm permitted up here. If they would want to lock you up for that crime of yours, they'd probably have to build that dungeon they don't have in order to keep you in."
"Like that dungeon could be built!" Rainbow Dash bragged.
"Did you ever wonder what it is like to be an earth pony?"
"What?" The question had come utterly out of the blue for Rainbow Dash.
"Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be an earth pony? Or a unicorn?"
Rainbow Dash shook his head in confusion. "Of course not. Why would I?"
"Never mind", Frank said with a dismissive wave with one hoof.
"Why should I think about that?" Rainbow Dash said, ignoring Frank's dropping of the question. "I am awesome!"

Frank nodded, but it seemed like mere politeness while he didn't seem focused.
"Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be an alicorn?" he then asked.
"Phew... the questions you ask...", Rainbow Dash scratched her head with one hoof. "I don't think I ever thought about that kind of thing. I mean, why would I anyway? What's the point?"
Frank didn't respond.
"Is that the kind of thing you eggheads are thinking about?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Do you think what it would be like to be not an earth pony?"
"Sometimes", Frank admitted. "Maybe it really is an egghead thing."
He shrugged and looked slightly embarrassed.

Egghead thing that it might be, by now the question and Frank's admission of thinking about that had caught Rainbow Dash's interest.
"So you picture yourself as a pegasus, or a unicorn, or... an alicorn?" Rainbow Dash asked and she couldn't quite keep a mocking tone from her voice.
Frank's face became serious. Apparently he was not very eager for that topic or for being mocked about it.
"Not like I was brooding about that, Rainbow Dash", he said. "It is not too bad being an earth pony. Many of us may be a little more on the ground in more than one way than some others. For an egghead like me this may not always be the worst thing to go with. Now don't get me wrong, but eggheaded unicorns may often focus on the movements of stars interesting mostly for their magic and eggheaded pegasi—"
"There are eggheaded pegasi?"
"...may often focus on clouds and air currents interesting mostly for their flight and the weatherworks for which pegasi of course deserve all the credit they get. But when earth ponies are eggheads we usually focus on very real life matters useful to as many ponies as possible, no matter if they sport horns, or wings, or both, or neither."
Frank sighed.

"There is one thing about eggheads though, Rainbow Dash; maybe not all of us eggheads but I still think I'm speaking for most of us."
"Frank, you do realize that most ponies would take a little offense in being called an 'egghead', don't you?" Rainbow Dash asked a little uncertain.
"And did you mean to offend me?" Frank asked, raising one eyebrow.
"No, of course not!" Rainbow Dash hurried to assure.
"Then what point would there be for me to take offense where none is meant? Perhaps that's another thing about earth ponies. Many of us tend to be more patient and less touchy than pegasi and— "
"Touchy!" Rainbow Dash shouted indignantly her face becoming all frowns.
"Thanks for demonstrating", Frank said coolly. "But please rest assured that I meant no more offense in pointing that one out than you do when calling me an egghead."

This left Rainbow Dash a bit at a loss. Of course she didn't mean any real offense when calling Twilight or Frank an egghead, but she couldn't quite claim for the term to be without any jeer either.
"Anyway...", Frank continued, "...most eggheads are rather curious. We want to know what we don't know and experience what what we haven't experienced and this brings us back to your question."
"What question?" Rainbow Dash asked confused.
"Do you think what it would be like to be not an earth pony?", Frank quoted, mimicking even the intonation of every word the way Rainbow Dash had said it. "In every day life the magic of unicorns in particular would often be very useful for an egghead. But sometimes I also wonder what it must be like to soar through the skies.

"It is just totally awesome!" Rainbow Dash burst out, emphasizing every word and her face brightening up as she said it.
"No doubt it must be", said Frank, nodding and sounding a little melancholic.
A little robin landed on the railing of the cupola looking at them much like he had understood that the talk was about something he could claim some expertise with.
"It is kind of funny", Rainbow Dash said. "Twilight got her wings to fly now, but there are times when I am not sure if she even wants them."
"What makes you say so?" Frank asked tilting his head.
"Just... think so", Rainbow Dash answered with an evasive shrug.

She was not the most tactful pony there was, but somehow she felt that neither going on about Frank's unrealizable wish to fly nor her doubts about Twilight's enthusiasm for it were particularly sensitive to talk about. Taking a step towards the saddle-bag escritoire she asked:
"What are you writing?"
"I've been organizing what notes I took when I interviewed Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie this morning", Frank said. "It was really most illuminating... interesting that is."
He made an inviting gesture towards the escritoire. Rainbow Dash stepped close enough to take a look at the paper and apparently the robin from the railing had felt addressed too and flapped over to land on the upper edge of the desk.

Rainbow Dash looked at the little bird slightly surprised. "If one lands on top of you, you really want to tell Fluttershy", she joked. "That would endear you to her."
Rainbow Dash scanned the page but quickly found it somewhat tedious to read the tiny written words about "categories of cutie marks", "degrees of deliberateness in the manifestation of cutie marks" or "various levels of ambiguity respectively unambiguousness about the reference of cutie marks".
"A little more on the ground, eh?" Rainbow Dash said.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You said you earth ponies were more 'on the ground' than others."
"So?"
"Oh come on! 'Degrees of deliberateness'? 'Various levels of ambiguity respectively unambiguousness'? Not even Twilight talks like that! If you want for anypony but extreme eggheads to read what you write you need to write so the not so eggheaded ones will know what you are writing about! Or else it will sound cryptic to them!"
"Cryptic... cryptic... You read 'Daring Do and the secret scripture' lately?"

"Yes I did!" Rainbow Dash admitted unabashed and apparently delighted about Frank's familiarity with the book in which she had picked up the cryptic word.
Frank scanned the page he had written and then nodded. "I take your point, Rainbow. Unless A. K. Yearling increases familiarity with some inkhorn terms a little more I think I should try to tone it down a bit."
"Inkhorn...? What does Inkhorn have to do with that?"
"It's a fancy word for 'egghead talk'", Frank said chuckling slightly.
Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. "So you got an egghead word to describe the words which non eggheads don't get?"
"Pretty much so", Frank said. "And no, it is not cool, you are right about that."

The preemptive concession of Frank took the wind from under Rainbow Dash's wings before she could comment on the lack of coolness in such a term herself. Instead she pointed at a kind of diagram on a page half of which was peeking out from underneath the uppermost page on the escritoire.
"Is anything missing there?" she asked. One didn't have to be an egghead to notice that there were some large blank boxes in that diagram while other boxes were densely packed with tiny letters.
Frank nodded. "So far I interviewed only Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. The other boxes are for some of the main points of the interviews which I hope to do with the rest of you."

"It doesn't bother you much, does it?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Being arrested and all that", Rainbow Dash said.
"It is a bit annoying", Frank said. "But I didn't take that money and the way it sounded the mayor doesn't think so either. So long it is more of a formality, I guess I'll just have to go with it."
He paused a moment before he sighed: "The one thing I am a little worried about is that unless they find whoever really did this, some ponies might keep thinking of me all the time when thinking about this theft. The stranger whose guilt they couldn't prove rather than the stranger who was wrongly suspected. I'm afraid that wouldn't help when I try to interview other ponies about their cutie marks or to just get to know them and thereby cease to be the stranger."

"I'm sure Twilight is doing her best find out who did it. And us of course. Once we know, you bet I won't let him or her get away with it!"
"Can you think of anypony in Ponyville who you think could have done that?"
Rainbow Dash gave Frank a blank look and finally shook her head.
"Nor can anypony else. I think this, more than anything else, is why I am up here."
There was nothing really comforting Rainbow Dash could say to this or to contradict.
"I'll do my best to keep myself busy", Frank said with a smile and it was difficult to tell if it was sarcastic or genuine.

"I'm pretty much done with the sorting out of the notes I took so far. I may have to check out if there is anything interesting to read among the files and folders and stuff which are stored down there." Frank pointed at the hatch with one hoof.
"Twilight went to talk to Filthy Rich and we are to meet her at the library", Rainbow Dash said. "From up here I can see the library and when Twilight gets there. So until she does, would you like for me to give you some more notes to work with? I promise they will be awesome!"
Frank's face brightened up.

"Awesome!" he agreed as he picked up the quill and shoved it into the loop on his left horseshoe. He put a put a white sheet of paper on top of the one already on the escritoire without shooing away the robin that was still perched there.

It didn't require many questions from Frank to get Rainbow Dash to tell by herself in a stream of words which Frank didn't want to interrupt with questions. Rainbow told by herself about pretty much anything and everything related to her cutie mark and much more even to actions to which she accredited her cutie mark. Much of what she was telling was not really closely linked to Frank's main interests for cutie mark research, but he was still hooked by some of the tales. While at times she was fluffing her feathers a little too much Frank couldn't help thinking that Equestria might have lost a decent author by the fact that Rainbow Dash would probably consider writing to be too 'eggheady' for her. Moreover he doubted that the sheer power of the enthusiasm and... dash in which she told her stories could still be found as vibrant in any words put down on paper.

Still, Frank thought that perhaps he would make the suggestion at some time. Maybe Rainbow's love for the Daring Do novels might actually be helping in the attempt to instigate her to try something similar. Much as he enjoyed the stories of her exploits, Frank did ultimately direct the talk in the direction of the incident of the switched cutie marks with some questions. Rainbow Dash became a lot more monosyllabic and didn't really tell anything that hadn't already been mentioned in the morning. Frank was wondering if it was also about the harsh time Twilight's friends had had after her disappearance and carefully probed in that direction:
"And after Twilight disappeared?"
"Then what?"
"What was it like? What did you do?"

Rainbow Dash rubbed her neck with one hoof. It was clear that she wasn't exactly eager for the topic, but she didn't seem nearly as uneasy about it as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
"It was kind of creepy. We went of course to see what we could do and tried to figure out what happened. With none of us being much into magic, we didn't really understand what exactly happened. It was a good thing that Spike sent a letter to Celestia. Her response was reassuring after all that. And when Twilight returned and returned with her wings it was really awesome. Like twenty percent cooler!"

"You said earlier that you are not always sure Twilight likes her wings."
"Just you wait. Once I get her into some real flying lessons with me I bet I can make her like another twenty percent cooler still!"
There was nothing forced or artificial about the comparatively easy way Rainbow Dash seemed to handle the events. Maybe it was the combination of lightheartedness, which Pinkie Pie certainly shared, and extreme confidence in herself and the world as a whole that made it easier for Rainbow to get over the harsh time. Then again Frank doubted that Rainbow Dash of all ponies was one to be as open about these kind of matters as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had been.

There was a sound from below and both Frank and Rainbow Dash took a look down through the hatch.
"Mr. Blanket?" It was the voice of Inkhorn.
"I am up here", Frank called and made ready to descend the stairs, but already Inkhorn was ascending instead.
She gave Rainbow Dash an uncertain look as she arrived up underneath the cupola.
"You have a visitor, Mr. Blanket?"
"Am I not allowed to?" Frank asked surprised.
Inkhorn rolled her eyes. "I don't know. Seriously you are the first pony in custody since... I don't even know if there has ever been a pony in custody here in Ponyville and concerning what a pony in custody is permitted to do or not the scrolls don't really say anything."

"Do they prohibit me from leaving?" Frank asked with a snort.
"The city council, Mayor Mare, Featherscribe and I that is, agreed that the terms 'custody' and 'remand' include the notion that you are prohibited from leaving", Inkhorn said, her voice being dead serious while her look made quite clear that she too appreciated the absurdity of everything.
"I promise not to carry him away", Rainbow Dash said.
"Oh, could you?" Frank asked with a voice of genuine interest.
Inkhorn stopped any response with a somewhat unnerved growl.

"Look now, Featherscribe and I are not overly enthused by the need to take night shifts to guard you either, Mr. Blanket."
"Guard me during the night...", Frank said. "Now seriously, Mrs. Inkhorn I promise I'm not going anywhere and if my word is not enough and if it grants you and Mr. Featherscribe an undisturbed sleep you can look if you got some chain to attach me to the central column of the town hall or something but—"
"Very kind of you, Mr. Blanket", Inkhorn said. "But I think you are misunderstanding the intention. It is not so much that we think you might make a run for it, but if you somehow injured yourself, if you needed anything or if, Celestia forbid, a fire broke out it would not be so good if nopony else was around, would it?"
"Oh", Frank looked a bit abashed.

"Another reason for us to try to get this over with as soon as possible. Mayor Mare has already been talking to judge Lady Justice and agreed that there will be a public hearing tomorrow at noon in the town hall."
"So he may leave after that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"If he is found not guilty by the judge, yes", Inkhorn said.
"And if not?" Frank asked cautiously.
"Don't you dare not to get cleared of all charges!" Inkhorn said sternly. "You told you didn't do it!"
"I didn't!"
"Then there is no need to worry about anything but one night of shifts for Featherscribe and me and a ton of paperwork because of the hearing tomorrow. Trust me when I tell you, that however unprejudiced we are to see the case, we will be glad to see you out of here; no offense meant."
"None taken. Thank you very much."

"And also...", Inkhorn gave a little smile, "...we have to organize the catering for the inmate."
She levitated a tray with a decent selection of foodstuff and beverages through the hatch. "There is more downstairs", she said. "But really if we were to keep you here we seriously need to increase our staff."
"Thanks again", Frank said as he quickly grabbed for a cup of water. Inkhorn took her leave, went down the stairs and Frank and Rainbow Dash heard the latch being closed on the hatch below.

Suddenly Rainbow Dash turned her head and her eyes narrowed a bit.
"There goes Twilight", she said and flapped up. "I'm going to tell her and the others about tomorrow's hearing. See you, Frank."
Frank almost chocked on a swig of water he had just taken and waved frantically with one hoof to stop Rainbow Dash.
"Yes?" the pegasus asked.

Frank coughed a few times then he said: "One more thing, if you don't mind. My tent is still out there. I was wondering if you could take it down and put it away for the night?"
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "You think somepony would take your tent away?"
"In a town where a working life's worth of bits is taken away? Of course! But seriously, I was thinking more about Everfree Forest and all the woodland critters."
"Say no more", Rainbow Dash said. "They can be really a pain! Your tent will be safe!"
Frank was a little surprised at the vehemence of Rainbow Dash at the notion of the critters. But before he could say anything about it, Rainbow whirled around and dashed off in the direction of the library leaving behind a slowly fading track of rainbow.
Frank looked after her for a moment then took a look at the half-full water cup.
"To awesomeness!" he said as a toast as he raised the cup and emptied it. The robin leaped from the escritoire, spread the wings and fluttered away.

Author's Note:

Last edited on December 11th 2015.

Comments

[Mike84]

6076543
Thank you very much for the feedback
I corrected the "granbdfather"

It wasn't until after reading this chapter that I suddenly remembered that, in the episode "Twilight Time", Diamond Tiara was shown to have a butler (I forget his name, but his name was mentioned). Then again, since you're saying this story happens before much of season 4 (including that particular episode) it kinda makes me wonder how you might plan on accounting for that discrepancy.

Indeed, I think by now that buttler even had a second appearance in some episode (I don't remember for certain). I try to keep my story as close to the episodes as possible, but in case of that butler from the series I had to ignore him.
He is definitely not identical with Swallowtail and he isn't going to be refered to in this story.