Lessons in quirks

by Mike84

Chapter XIII

The hall had continued to empty out quickly after the ending of the music and by the time Frank had finished the mug of cider everypony not at the table had left. Pinkie Pie too had taken her leave to ensure that the party didn't fizzle out outside and Spike had accompanied her.
By now so rapid and intense a question and answer talk had begun between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle on the one side and Frank on the other that Twilight felt a bit like everypony else had become mere audience. Not that the mutual interviewing of the fillies and Frank would have been boring to follow. Rather than focusing on cutie marks only, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle asked Frank about himself while he in turn asked about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, learning about Scootaloo and about how the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been founded. The introduction Frank gave in response to the fillies' questions was more thorough than what Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had heard before. Frank made no secret of having no fixed home when the questions provided the context, but neither Apple Bloom nor Sweetie Belle seemed to think of that as unusual or negative in any way.

"So what is your own cutie mark?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Yeah, we can't see it with you wearing that... blanket?" Apple Bloom added.
Everypony at the table was looking at Frank expectantly and Twilight, as the only one who knew, too was interested in Frank's response. It appeared that he had seen the question coming and prepared an answer.
"I must pass this question for now", he said. "You see, I am hoping I may ask all of you some questions concerning cutie marks." Frank gave everypony a short look to make clear that he wasn't talking to the two fillies only. "I would prefer if I could ask you before telling me about my cutie mark so your answers won't be influenced by your knowing about my cutie mark. It does relate to my studies though."
"Astute", Twilight thought to herself. "It is probably true, but put like that nopony needs to think there was anything unusual about his cutie mark."

"What are you all doing in here with everypony else outside?" Pinkie Pie looked in through the door giving all of them a very disapproving look.
"Pinkie's right. Let's get out!" Applejack said.
"Yes, maybe Scootaloo is already there but looking for us outside with everypony else already there." Sweetie Belle agreed and she and Apple Bloom went for the door with everyone else following them.

As he reached the door, Frank snatched his hat from his saddle-bag and put it on his head. The moment he touched the hat Rarity's eyes began to follow the piece of headgear and mesmerized or more likely distraught by the sight she would have walked into the door frame if Rainbow Dash hadn't nudged her to the side and out of her abstraction. Rarity nodded a silent thanks to her.

"There's Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle called pointing to a spot, a little apart from the ponies crowding around the town hall, where a narrow alley met the town square.
"And she is not alone!" added Apple Bloom with a very grim voice.
Frank looked to the spot where Sweetie Belle had pointed. A gamboge pegasus filly with a cerise mane was standing there, a helmet on her head and one hoof on a kick scooter. This had to be Scootaloo, but from what Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had told before about the founding of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Frank could make a good guess about the other two fillies Apple Bloom was referring to. Both of them were earth ponies one rose the other gray colored with cutie marks that could have been name badges. They were blocking Scootaloo's way and taking turns in talking to the pegasus who had put on a stoic face and didn't take notice of her friends or anypony else.

"They are the ones who have been giving you such a hard time?" Frank asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded.
"Let's just get to her", Apple Bloom said to Sweetie Belle.
The elder ponies looked a little uncertain as to whether or not to intervene into the looming wrangle of the fillies. Twilight cast a look to Frank whom she didn't really want to be confronted with the squabble of the fillies. The colt however didn't return her look but continued to eye the fillies. Suddenly Twilight realized that he had his hat on. He could probably hear every word the fillies were saying and judging by his deepening frown Frank didn't like what he heard.

"Did you get your mobility device at last?" Diamond Tiara asked spitefully. "With wings not working one would expect you could at least walk without wheels below your hooves. But it seems to have been a hard day for you, having forgotten your mobility scooter."
"Yeah...", Silver Spoon took over, "...but it's so easy for somepony to forget after falling on her head so many times that she needs to wear a helmet all the time!"
She made a motion to tauntingly knock against Scootaloo's helmet with a hoof, but the pegasus brushed away her hoof before she could touch the helmet.
"Oh, don't Silver. She doesn't want anypony to hear the hollow sound if you knock her helmet. Like they say, blank flank – blank brain."
"Nopony but you says such baloney!" Scootaloo snarled.
"But I so understand she would feel lost without her mobility scooter. I mean she even seems to be named after it", Silver Spoon giggled.
"Maybe her parents just didn't want to name her Crutches", Diamond Tiara said. "Maybe that's to be her special talent, being as unable to walk without wheels as she is unable to fly with wings!"

It was too much, Scootaloo wanted to wipe those vicious grins from Diamond Tiara's and Silver Spoon's faces, no matter what and no matter who was watching. But just when she was about to pounce upon Diamond Tiara there was a booming voice drawing the attention of all three fillies.
"What then is your own talent filly marked with trinket?"

A colt was walking towards them whom none of them had seen before. Just behind him Scootaloo spotted Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle catching up and further behind her friends' elder sisters along with Twilight, Fluttershy and... her heart made a little jump ...Rainbow Dash were approaching.
The colt however was a daunting sight. A deep frown on his face and his blue-gray eyes so stern they gave all three fillies a shudder. The black twisted... thing he was wearing on his head shading part of his face added to the uncanny appearance.
"Who are you to arrogate the right to spite one whose chance has not yet gone so much to waste as yours?"
Frank's voice grew quieter as he approached, but deeper and sharper it sounded than it had during any of the casual and gentle talk Twilight or the others had heard from him so far.

"Gone to waste...?" whispered Silver Spoon to herself clearly overcharged with the sudden change of situation. Diamond Tiara however was not a filly to loose her sense of self-importance and haughtiness at the first confrontation with anything unexpected. Striking a pose of defiance and with a look of disdain she retorted:
"I am Diamond Tiara, daughter to Filthy Rich, the richest pony in all of Ponyville and far beyond. And who are you?"
"Frank Blanket, son to somepony whose name you wouldn't know but who by his own doings rather than that of others achieved his merit. Same as I do not need to hide behind his name or that of my mother or behind any wealth accumulated by others. Academician from Fillydelphia I am, wanderer to places where the wealth you presume from the work of your parents, rather than own qualities, would yield you little; professional in the study of cutie marks and their effects am I!"

Frank took a short break and then drew his spectacles from his pocket. The lenses where still green and amber respectively adding to the weird effect when he put them on but, bowing his head a little, looked at Diamond Tiara successively Silver Spoon above the upper rim of his spectacles rather than through the colored lenses.
"And here I see two fine examples of cutie marks representing neither talent nor quality to those afflicted by them."
"I beg your pardon?" Diamond Tiara shouted like it was an insult. Nopony talked to her like that!
"Not my pardon is it you should beg for! But that of Scootaloo here, of Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle of all other foals whose hooves you have been trampling on for a vain sensation of superiority which your cutie marks cannot provide."

"What's that rag on your head?" Diamond Tiara scoffed trying to change the subject, but she did sound somewhat insecure by now.
"Let us go...", Silver Spoon whispered to her.
"This rag has done me many a good service. A lot more useful it is than the tinsel on that head of yours or on your flank for that matter. Truly you deserved pity for being branded like that—"
"Pity?" cried Diamond Tiara, loosing what composure she had thus far maintained.
"...but for the fact that you are trying to make up for that by picking on those who so far lack a cutie mark. Blind you are and blank your brains for the fact that the longer time for them to get their marks, may but stand for such affluence in talents and qualities that whatever magic might may be framing our cutie marks may not yet be able to decide which one of that abundance to merit with the mark. Such abundance so far beyond your mere reliance on the affluence in bits and trinkets accumulated by the work of others that their abundance may not be so easily contained within one mark such as the image of some piece of frippery like yours! Your mark may limit you so much and make you the dweeb as which you act! Truly, your envy on those not so limited must be excruciating!"

"Envy for blank flanks...?" mumbled Diamond Tiara, but she didn't seem to be talking to Frank anymore. Her face had by now assumed an expression of consternation, almost horror.
Scootaloo's face on the other hand had brightened up considerably. Same as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon she had not quite understood everything that Frank had said, but she had certainly gotten the gist of the part about affluence in talents and qualities not easy to be contained within one mark.
"Let us go!" Silver Spoon said again a little louder this time and sounding almost imploring as she pushed Diamond Tiara to the side.
Diamond Tiara set in motion walking through the gap between the corner of a house and the group behind Frank.

"My father will know about this!" she said in a final act of defiance. "I'll tell him!"
"Pray do!" Frank said, not looking after her. "And don't you forget a word you said to Scootaloo. I remember every single one of them!"
Suddenly however there was crack in the composure Frank had put on. He cast his head around and with a voice not as sharp or deep as he had used so far he called after the two fillies:
"Prove me wrong! Prove yourselves better than my diagnosis!"
But if Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon heard him, they gave no sign of it.

"That was amazing!" Apple Bloom shouted.
"Stunning!" Sweetie Belle added.
"Awesome!" Scootaloo confirmed. "Thank you... Mr. Blanket, is it?"
Frank nodded but he didn't look very happy but somewhat absentminded.
"Thank you", he said and, "You're welcome", with a look at Scootaloo. "If you'll excuse me for a moment I'll be right back."
With that he rushed down the alley from where Scootaloo had come and round the next corner leaving three utterly confused fillies behind.
"Was it something we said?" Sweetie Belle asked blankly.

The others were no less confused than the fillies.
"What in tarnation was that?" Applejack asked no one in particular.
"Leaving or what he said before that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Both I suppose", Rarity responded instead of Applejack.
"Uhm, Twilight?" Fluttershy asked without being really sure what exactly she was asking.
Twilight however didn't respond. Instead she set in motion down the alley towards the corner beyond which Frank had disappeared. "Wait, I'll look after him."
"So what was all that?" Applejack asked again.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Beats me."

Author's Note:

Last edited on December 8th 2015.

Comments

[Chronicler06]

Still reading this story with each new update. Much of what I've been seeing appears to be just fine. Not excellent, but not terrible, so just fine.

Aside from the still-frequent absence of commas, the area that I think could use some improvement would be the use of archaic words and phrases, as you've called it. For example, I've almost never heard of someone taking a "draft" of some drink, and I'm pretty sure someone like Scootaloo would never say such a complex word as "balderdash" (a word that I myself certainly have never heard of before ). My best advice for this would be to keep in mind who is more likely to use advanced terminology (ponies like Rarity and Twilight) and who is more likely to use casual words and phrases (ponies like Rainbow Dash).

[Mike84]

5858699
Thank you for continuing to read my story
Your feedback is very helpful in improving the story. So far I only got one other non-native speaking proofreader. I hope to improve about the commas in particular. With the archaic terms the feedback from a native speaker is really invaluable and I appreciate it a lot. Dictionaries which I may consult for rarely required terms such as those which you named do sometimes point out the archaic nature of a word in which case I would not use it. However, these (online) dictionaries do not always provide the detail needed and I have on other occassions consulted native speakers to get the exact connotation of similarly translated terms like (bewildered, nonplussed, dumpfounded, astounded, flabbergasted, puzzled, stunned, taken aback etc.).

For example, I've almost never heard of someone taking a "draft" of some drink, and I'm pretty sure someone like Scootaloo would never say such a complex word as "balderdash" (a word that I myself certainly have never heard of before ).

In case of draft (which the dictionary only points out to be spelled "draught" if I was going for British English) I would appreciate your help a lot when looking for an alternative. Would "gulp" be the term most commonly used or is there another term you would suggest?
Dictionaries tend to be even less detailed on the connotation of derogatory terms or insults. I want to keep the language of the story clean so I didn't want to go for the "bull shit" which I presume to be the most common term that could have been used while "nonsense" sounded too harmless / not fierce enough to me. Is there a term you would suggest that Scootaloo might use (as in not being too harsh if this was an actual episode) but that sounds stronger than "nonsense"?
Today by the way I wrote a chapter which included Princess Luna where for the first time I could quite intentionally use some archaic words
I am going to continue posting one chapter per week here. The writing is progressed far enough so I think I can keep this up to the end of the story.

Still reading this story with each new update. Much of what I've been seeing appears to be just fine. Not excellent, but not terrible, so just fine.

I hope to improve. Admittedly there is a lot of buildup, character introduction and characters getting to know each other and so far not much more beyond that has been posted here. Nothing posted here so far would probably be categorized as anything more than "slice of life", but there is going to be the "adventure" part in it.