• Published 18th May 2012
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Death Battle: Equestria - RLYoshi



Death Battle with ponies. Characters are researched, then pitted against each other in fights to the death, with pacifistic tendencies removed. Who would win in an Equestrian Death Battle?

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Battle 14: The Wonderbolts VS The Mario Bros.

Once again, we have another battle of pairs; both renowned for their teamwork and airborne skills, albeit in different ways.

Spitfire and Soarin of the Wonderbolts, Equestria's greatest flying team...

...and Mario and Luigi of the Mario Bros., heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom.

He's Yah-Shee and I'm Arrell!

And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win an Equestrian Death Battle.


The Wonderbolts

Spitfire and Soarin
Equestria's top flight team
Capable of amazing flight stunts
Spitfire: Brash; bossy; oblivious
Soarin: ...he likes pie, I guess?

While the Wonderbolts are a whole team of stunt fliers, the only way it could be fair for this battle would be to have only two of them face the Mario Bros., so we picked the main two "canon" Wonderbolts that had been given actual personalities and appearances. So for this battle, the only Wonderbolts will be Spitfire and Soarin.

So don't even try giving us that "BUT WHERE'S FLEETFOOT?" crap!

The Wonderbolts are Equestria's greatest flying team, straight out of Cloudsdale. From performing stunt flying shows to acting as some extension of the military, they've done all sorts of things that are really just them flying around.

Don't mind Yah. He's just jealous he's not a pegasus.

I'm not jealous!

Sure, sure. Anyway, despite their flying skill, the Wonderbolts' wings are just as easy to break as they would be on any other pegasus. One wrong landing and they're in the hospital for days!

And yet they can fly fast enough to make their wings cut dragon scales. Which is actually a rather interesting ability, considering Spike even as a baby had rather tough scales that prevented him from even feeling anything when he had nails and tacks literally stuck in him. As a full-grown dragon, the ability to destroy one of those scales so effortlessly speaks wonders about how strong the Wonderbolts are...despite being just as fragile as the next pegasus.

Hell, they got knocked out by one hit from Rarity! Sure, she might be strong, but damn do those guys have a bad damage threshold!

Indeed, the Wonderbolts may be fast and strong, but we've seen they can't take what they dish out too well. Then again, being stunt fliers, they're likely used to avoiding such situations, so that balances it out in a way.

Aside from their high strength and low endurance, their teamwork is also a major part of the Wonderbolts! ...so isn't it great when they can't work as a team unless they've had hours of rehearsal?

As we learned in Rainbow Falls, Spitfire is perfectly willing to ditch Soarin if a better flier catches her eye, not even visiting him in the hospital after a wing injury. Soarin, for his part, doesn't seem to like this, and it's obvious after those events that he probably doesn't trust Spitfire as much as he used to. They can move in synchronized flying teams, but other than that, they don't seem particularly competent.

Then again, we haven't seen much of them. And since they have some equivalent to military training to join their team, obviously they've got some high standards to fill!

Let's see if those standards are high enough.

"As good as any Wonderbolt."


Mario Bros.

Mario and Luigi
Saved the Mushroom Kingdom countless times
Able to use all sorts of tricks and items
Mario: Heroic; spontaneous; powerful
Luigi: Cowardly; dependable; overshadowed

Itsa-them, the Mario Brothers!

For the sake of this battle, we will be analyzing the brothers as they are in the Mario & Luigi series, as it is in those games where they are best seen working together. General information will also be used, but anything that is specific to other games - such as Mario's Flip ability in Super Paper Mario - will not be considered.

So starting off, I don't think these two need much introduction at all! Heroic plumbers of the Mushroom Kingdom who've saved the princess more times than I've had hangovers!

Doubt that. Anyway, Mario and Luigi are both renowned around the Kingdom for their jumping prowess. Without a running start, they can jump their own height, and they will often jump on top of enemies to harm them. In cases like these, they can jump even higher than before to get at enemies floating or flying in the air.

And their jumps are strong enough that they can kill creatures by only hopping on them a couple times! ...assuming they get the Action Commands right.

In addition to jumping, they are also proficient with hammers. However, these hammers are significantly larger than the ones you'd see being used for construction; instead, the heads of these hammers are larger than Mario or Luigi's own head, enabling them to deal even more damage. However, they are also heavy and fragile; the Action Command for using a hammer involves trying to give the brother enough strength to actually swing it, and if they fail, the head completely falls off the hammer. While this is instantly fixed, it can still be a short-term problem if they were attempting to deal some damage with that hit.

Luckily, jumping and hammering aren't all they can do! They've also got items - or Special Attacks - such as Shells they can kick at enemies that rebound to the other brother automatically, so they can keep kicking it back and forth! Or the Fire Flower, which gives them both temporary fire-throwing abilities! And my personal favourite, the Snack Basket, which Mario uses to force feed Luigi tons of junk food so he gets fat and can shoot a shockwave at their foes by hitting the ground! If only I had one of those...

Along with items and Special Attacks, they also have teamwork attacks known as Bros. Attacks. These include Bounce Bros., where they bounce off of each other to deal extra damage by landing on an enemy; Fire Bros., where Mario creates fireballs for Luigi to hammer at their foes; or Knockback Bros., which...basically consists of Luigi playing "catch with a wall". Except Mario's the ball, the enemies are the wall, and he uses his hammer.

The only thing better than hitting your older brother with a hammer is hitting your older brother with a hammer so you can hit someone you don't like with your older brother!

While the brothers are not always coordinated, they are often almost perfectly synchronized, walking directly behind one another and switching positions without needing to say anything. They even have abilities outside of battle, such as the High Jump, where Luigi bounces off of Mario to reach high places and bring Mario along for the ride.

They can even use their fire and electricity powers on each other! Mario can light Luigi's ass on fire so they both go really fast, and Luigi can electrocute Mario so they can...strafe?

I never understood why they had to go to all that trouble just to walk sideways...

Well, whatever! Point is, they've got tons of abilities they can use thanks to each other, and they're coordinated enough to make them work!

Most of the time. While their teamwork is to be admired, their personalities clash at times. Mario is always brave and heroic, but Luigi tends to be reluctant to get into dangerous situations. Plus, while they have a lot of items and unique attacks, they're all limited, requiring either having the item or a certain amount of Special Points or Bros. Points. If they run out, all they can do is jump and hammer.

Of course, it'd take a tough enemy to make them actually run out...let's see if the Wonderbolts are up to the task!

"Let's go!" "Okie-dokie!"


Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all.

IT'S TIME FOR AN EQUESTRIAN DEATH BATTLE!


The duos stood in the middle of the plain, facing each other...or rather, three of the four beings present did. One particular green-clothed human was instead facing away from them, hugging his knees as he huddled down on the ground. If one looked carefully at his brother, they could see the urge to facepalm in his eyes.

FIGHT!

With the signal, the Wonderbolts charged, side-by-side. Mario lightly kicked Luigi to get him to focus, which he did, albeit obviously shaking. They both pulled out their hammers, waiting for the pegasi to get close enough.

However, the fliers were smart enough not to charge headfirst into those metal weapons. Instead, they split off, flying in opposite directions and avoiding the brothers entirely. Reacting quickly, both humans pocketed their weapons and turned to give chase...only to be tackled as soon as they turned around.

Flying several dozen feet from the impact, they finally hit the ground and skidded to a stop, getting up as quickly as they had been hit. Looking at each other for a brief moment, they nodded and began to run after the suited pegasi, who had begun to fly away again after their attack. Noticing they were being followed, they decided to turn around and try to catch the brothers off guard again.

This tactic did not work twice. As they closed in, the pegasi were suddenly met with a barrage of fireballs that seemed to come out of nowhere. Strangely enough, the fireballs didn't leave any actual burns on them, and they were able to fly out of the way after only a few hits. Now, however, they had been separated and caught off guard.

Spitfire looked around quickly for her partner, only to instead see a green-clothed human running up to her. Smirking, she flew up into the air, at least a dozen feet above the ground, as if taunting him to come get her from down on the ground.

He seemed to accept the unspoken challenge and jumped. To her great surprise, he easily cleared the distance from the ground to her, and stomped hard enough on her head to send her spiraling into the ground, disoriented.

Meanwhile, Soarin was flying in circles to avoid a direct confrontation with Mario, hoping to get behind him and tackle him. However, while his erratic flying kept Mario from getting close enough to attack, it was also easy enough for him to follow, never leaving his back exposed. Finally, annoyed, Soarin flew straight up into the sky, disappearing into a cloud.

Mario scratched his chin in thought, then noticed Luigi and Spitfire a short distance away. The pegasus noticed Soarin flying up, and after knocking Luigi off of her, she quickly did the same. The two Italians met up and discussed a quick plan, while within the clouds, the Wonderbolts watched them with curiosity and worry.

Finally, the plumbers turned up to the clouds their foes had disappeared into. Luigi jumped onto Mario's head, who squished like a piece of rubber before popping back up and grabbing his younger brother's leg. The two of them bounced high up into the sky, reaching the cloud level and landing on top of it. As soon as they hit the cloudy floor, they pulled out their hammers and went for the swing on the pegasus ponies.

Spitfire promptly reached forward, grabbed the cloud, and yanked it out from underneath them.

For a second, the brothers hung comically in the air, frozen in place. Then, gravity caught up to them, and they plummeted to the ground below...where they landed without a scratch.

Surprised, the Wonderbolts exchanged a look while the Italian plumbers made another quick plan. Reaching into his pocket, Mario pulled out what looked like a lunchbox, which opened up on its own and released loads of donuts, ice cream, cookies, and other dessert-type treats into the air. The pegasi watched in confusion, though Soarin seemed to be drooling a bit.

The food suddenly began raining down, and Luigi ran back and forth, catching it all in his mouth and swallowing in one bite. Once it was all gone, he suddenly began to grow bloated, becoming an enormous size and flopping up into the air, crushing Mario. However, upon closer inspection, Mario seemed to be doing his best to lift his little-big brother up from beneath, before suddenly getting the strength to hurl him up into the sky.

As he soared up, Luigi turned his sitting position into a belly flop, aiming down towards the cloud Spitfire and Soarin were on. Panicking, they tried to move, but the fat Italian was quicker, and obliterated their cloud as he landed on it as well as them. He, along with the pegasi, fell down to the ground, where they were crushed beneath him with a sickening sound.

Suddenly going back to normal size, Luigi stood up and instantly fell over onto his back. Mario walked over and examined the scene. His younger brother, along with the entire ground beneath where he landed, were smeared with blood. The only sign the Wonderbolts had ever been there were two flattened flying suits on the ground.

Helping his brother up, Mario then held his gloved hand up, which Luigi didn't hesitate to high-five.

K.O.


Well, that's probably more blood than I've ever seen the Mario Bros. involved with! Stupid E-Rated games...

While they may be a military division and specially trained, the Wonderbolts couldn't match up to the Mario Bros. in any real way. They could fly, but flying away from the brothers would just prolong the battle, and the brothers could jump high enough to reach them if they didn't go enormous distances.

And they might be fast, but the Bros. have faster reflexes than you'd think a human should be capable of having, so they could react to pretty much everything they tried. And while Mario and Luigi don't have much variety if they run out of Special Points, the Wonderbolts don't have any variety at all!

Attempting to lead the two to falling to their deaths was a clever trick, but in the games, Mario and Luigi can survive falls from literally any enormous distance, landing on their feet without so much of a pained grunt before continuing on. And even though pegasi can control the weather, even if we did show the Wonderbolts attempting this-

Which, for the record, we tried, but it didn't fit anywhere properly.

-the brothers would be completely unaffected. Rain just wouldn't do anything, lightning would be next to worthless since Luigi controls electricity and all it does to Mario is make him be able to strafe, and things such as tornadoes or high winds would just prolong the battle further. All they'd do is knock the brothers away, but then they'd get right back up, and no progress would be gained. And that's assuming they'd even be able to pull off such a feat without Mario or Luigi stopping their attempts with a well-timed jump.

Sure, the Wonderbolts can cut a dragon's scales. But Mario and Luigi have taken on all sorts of monsters, from Bowser to Cackletta to just about anything else to the sun and back! Things that make Giant Spike look like a wimp!

Even if we brought in more Wonderbolts against just the two Mario Bros., it's likely the result would be the same. They've taken on squads of enemies all at one time before, prevailing every time, whether or not they're even working together.

And so the Wonderbolts suffered a very crushing defeat!

The winners are the Mario Bros..


Next time on DEATH BATTLE: Equestria:

Written by KenSES64 outside of his work on the tournament, we've got a battle of two characters with similar names and similar high levels of power! One returning competitor, squaring off against a human boxer.

How will the battle between Big and Little turn out? Find out next time!


Got a suggestion for an Equestrian Death Battle? Post a comment below suggesting matchups, or send me a PM with suggestions in it!

You may suggest OC characters, provided they are from a story or other fan creation that is at least somewhat well-known.

Please do not suggest matchups that have already happened. You may suggest individual characters to appear in matches against a different opponent than one they have fought previously, but suggestions like those are less likely to be used (unless I REALLY like the idea).

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