• Published 20th Apr 2015
  • 15,855 Views, 803 Comments

I'm a loli?!? - aterriblewriter



I didn't expect this in the morning..... why the hell do i have tentacles, and why are there talking ponies all over the place here? i'm just gonna try to stay home.

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Dream Hoppin' With The Princess

"What are thou?" Is what I hear the moment I fell asleep.

I take a look at my surroundings, quickly noticing that it is strangely foggy. "Hmmm.... Seems strangely familiar... Where have I seen this before?" I see a silhouette in the fog, whatever it was, it was obviously pony shaped. "Really? I'm dreaming of ponies?" I ask out loud.

"No, we are just merely visiting this early dreamer." A voice tells me, the silhouette coming closer. "We are known as Princess Luna." A blue alicorn walks out of the fog to the right of me, making me jump.

"Waaaahh! Don't do that! Wait.... If you're here..... Then, who's that?" I ask while pointing at the silhouette, almost dreading the answer. "Wait.... Could this be....!" The thought stopped there when I heard a familiar screech. I look to my right, hoping nothing was there, only to be horribly wrong.

There was a familiar sign that almost made me faint right there.

Welcome To Silent Hill

"Nope, nope, nope! Come on, we need to go, right now!" I yell, fear taking control, making me grab some of her fur and try to lead her away from the thing of my nightmares.

Screeeee! thump. Screeee!

"What is it Little one?" She asks me, looking at the growing shape in front of us with a glare.

"Something you don't wanna meet!" I scream "Please! Let's go! Now!" I emphasized each word with a tug, making her look at it with such malice that almost made me stop pulling.

Screeeee! Thud. Mooooooaaaannn!

The monstrosity finally became visible a few feet in front of us. Wearing a blood stained pyramid shaped helmet that covers most of its head, was Mr. Tall Dark and Scary himself, Pyramid head. If it were under different circumstances, I probably would have laughed at him, seeing him as a pony.

"Thou hast no power here! Begone, nightmare beast!" She commands him, earning a loud moan from him. He quickly turned around and walked back the way he came, disappearing into the fog and making a lot less noise than before as if he was scared of her.

"Woah..... You just scared away Pyramid...... Okay, you are now officially the best pony I know!" I exclaim with stars in my eyes.

"No need to thank us. It is all part of our duty as the princess of the night." She modestly tells me. "Now, who are thou? I've never met such a being in my years of nightmare prevention."

"Oh, I'm Dakota." I introduce myself. "You said you were Luna, Right?" I ask to make sure, earning a nod in confirmation.

"Wait.... Luna.... Doesn't that mean moon? Celestia means sun, I think.... So does that mean...?" I think to myself, putting two and two together and, seeing this kind of naming system in cartoons, used cartoon logic. "Are you related to Celestia? I think I can see the family resemblance." I ask, gesturing to her flowing mane that looked like the night sky.

"Why yes, early dreamer. Did thou meet our dearest sister?" She asks me, almost making me ask on the whole, 'ye olde dialect.'

"Yeah, I met her. She came to meet me, didn't she tell you? I-I mean, if you are her sister, wouldn't she would tell you everything, right?" I ask, a little confused that Celestia didn't tell her about me.

"Thou art mistaken, our sister hasn't yet told us about thou. I'll ask her when I see her next." She tells me, her horn glowing slightly. "Wouldst thou like to go to a different dream? More ponies are now starting to slumber and I do not think this early dreamer wants to stay in this dreary place any longer." She asks with a polite smile.

I nod and she opens a .... Tear in the air in front of us and looks expectantly at me. "Follow us, little one."

I gave a small sigh and followed her into the tear. "Hmmm, why can I understand her when I was told that the translation spell ends at sundown? ..... Maybe it is right before sundown and the spell is just about to run out? Yeah, probably that..."

Once I got on the other side of the tear, I stopped in awe. It looked like the world decided to Error 404. We were floating in the air, an endless expanse of crystals floating all around us. If I looked closer, I could see inside them and see ponies doing extraordinary things that are way out of the norm, like a certain pink pony was playing poker with some kind of pony versions of Deadpool and Freakazoid. Judging from the others reactions, she was winning. Turning around to see my crystal, a purple jewel that was shaped like a chaos emerald, I was a little confused to see four other gems linked to mine by bright beams of light.

The first gem, on the far right, was triangular in shape with a green hue. The gem right next to the green one was purple and square shaped. The third gem, the hexagonal shaped one on the far left, was orange. And the last one was shaped like a star and was clear.

"Wait a minute... 1,2,3,4...... Hmmmm." I feel my back, only to notice that the tentacles aren't there. "That explains why I haven't felt anything from them recently."

"Hey, uh, Luna, is it normal to have these connect to one another?" I point at the gems in front of me, a little freaked out at the sight. "Before you ask about why I haven't asked where I am, I can literally see inside these things and tell that they are dreams." I tell her with a shrug. "It is kinda obvious if you think about it. I am dreaming and you took me out of my dream.... This is probably a dream nexus or somthin'..."

She blinks, astonished that such a young being made a spot on guess. "T-Thou are correct about where we are...." She clears her throat, regaining her composure. "The connecting of dreams is an occurrence that doesn't happen too often and is usually harmless. We haven't the slightest of clue as to why this would happen though..." She trails off, before shaking her head and getting back to the task at hand\hoof. "Come along, little one, we have a dream to visit." She starts floating towards a two toned purplish pink gem, leaving me to float in the endless expanse.

"H-Hey! How do I move!" I yell while trying to unsuccessfully swim over. She quickly got back to me, making the floating look too easy. "Sigh.... Can I ride ya over? I'm not really cut out for floating." I ask, now looking at her upside down.

".... Just this once, we will allow this." She tells me, seeing as I wasn't making progress by floating with her.

She uses her wings to move me closer to her back and I wrap my arms around her neck. She smiles mischievously, completely unnoticed by me. She speeds toward the gem, narrowly missing a few of the other gems and making me scream the whole way.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh! Whyyyyy! Stoooooooop!" I scream and, within seconds of me saying that, she stops suddenly, making me fly off her and land face first on the gem with a loud crack. "Owwww~!" I moan, slowly sliding down the gem by my face, making a loud squeaking noise the whole way.

Luna looks at me with a perfect poker face, no doubt hysterically laughing on the inside. "Are thou unharmed?" She asks with a raised brow.

"Jufft mpphh perrrd...." I say, my face still on the gem. I pry my face off and look at her, unamused at her actions. "Just a little sore... Sigh, let's just get me in the other dream."

She nods, her horn glowing. Within moments of her horn glowing the gems surface started to ripple like water. "Here is the entryway to the dream of our sisters personal student. We believe that thou will enjoy her dream, she dreams of the largest library we have ever seen, in the waking world and the dream world." She informs me, making me internally groan.

"Really? You are going to put me in a library dream? I don't want to sound rude, but, couldn't we find a dream more....." I trail off, thinking about what kind of pony I'd probably find in there. "You know what, imma mess with this one, heh, heh, heh." I think to myself, feeling a little mischievous. "...Nevermind, who's the pony I'm going to meet?"

"Her name is Twilight Sparkle, one of the Elements of Harmony." She informs me, making me smile sinisterly.

"Oh, this is going to be perfect."

"This is the earliest we've seen her go to bed, hmmm...." Luna trails off, a little curious about the late night studier. She shakes her head. "Nevermind that, we have other duties to attend to, we'll be leaving thou in her dream for tonight, have a good night and it was nice meeting thou." She says, horn glowing and moving me into the gem with a regal nod. "We hope we'll meet thou again, in the waking world next time."

And with those last words, my whole body is in the gem, me losing sense of my surroundings for a minute before I land face first on a pile of books. Judging my tasting of more colors, I assume the spell just wore off.

"-Dakota! What are you doing here!?!-" I hear a voice yell, making me jump a little and quickly get up and look around.

I almost fell back down at the sheer amount of books in here. There had to be at least millions of books on shelves that flowed down seemingly endless hallways. I look to my left, hoping that there was a change in scenery. Getting a small relief from the literary nightmare/heaven all around me, I saw a big comfortable looking chair sitting in front of a fireplace a little ways from all the books.

Something pokes me, making me jump and give out a small yelp. I quickly look at the thing poking me and see Twilight giving me a confused look.

"Oh, hi Twilight. Funny to see you here." I say with a smile and a wave. "Ya dun goofed, so imma mess with your dream." I tell her, pretty sure she won't understand me. Judging from the look she gave me, my guess was spot on.

"-The spell must have wore off..." She notes with a frown. "-I thought I had set it so it'll last for a few days...-" She says with confusion clear on her face, misremembering the spell. Her horn lights up, a crazy look in her eyes and a few strands of her mane out of place. "-I guess I have no choice, I'll have to bring out the big spells.-"

I gulp loudly, not liking the look in her eyes. "U-Uh, Twi? Y-You're not planning to teleport again, are ya?" I ask, slowly backing away from the, now surprisingly terrifying, unicorn in front of me that is slowly advancing on me.

"-No need to worry, Dakota. It'll be very... QUICK!-" She shouts as she fires a beam of purple energy speeding towards my head.

I quickly dodge it and run down the long hallway, her chasing after me. "I'd take Pyramid over this! Luna, Help!" I scream, dodging beams the whole way. "Ahhhhhh!" I gave another yell before tripping over a stray book on the ground and scraping my knees on the ground. I tried crawling away, only to be wrapped in a purple ball and slowly levitated towards Twilight.

I slowly turn around in the ball and look at her, tears in my eyes. That seemed to snap her out of the insanity. "-Oh! I'm so sorry!-" she apologizes, slowly setting me down. The moment she set me down, I ran for my life, away from her and down the hallway. "-Wait! I said I'm sorry!-" I ignore the yells behind me and continue into the labyrinth of bookshelves, taking the first turn I saw with her chasing after me, screaming apologies the whole way.

I ran as fast as I could, which was surprisingly fast, but not fast enough. She was gaining ground, slowly catching up to me. I take a quick peek over my shoulder and scream. "Aaaahhh! Just stop chasing me already!" I take another turn and hit my face on a bookshelf, cursing Twilight's dream as I slowly peel my face off of it.

"-Huff, huff, I-I finally caught up.... Huff, huff, I-I just wanted to apologize.-" I lose all hope at the sound of her voice. I did the only thing I could do, curling up into ball with tears flowing.

She gets closer, tears in her eyes. "-I-I know that you can't understand me....-" She starts running her hoof through my hair, trying to comfort me. "-B-But I can try to help you understand.-" Slowly, I stop crying and sit up. "-See? Not that bad.-" I hear her say, making me look at her, quietly sniffling.

"I really don't like what this body is doing to me...." I mutter, not wanting to go through that again.

Seeing that I wasn't crying anymore, Twilight brightened up. "-I am so sorry for scaring you and I hope you can forgive me.-" She apologizes, her ears plastered to her head, hopeful that I could understand that.

"I think I get what you are saying...." I get back on my feet and smile. "You-" I point at her. "-are sorry about freaking me out and chasing me, right?" I say, not really expecting an answer. "I'll accept the apology after one thing....." I quickly slap her across the muzzle and pout, using my newfound cuteness against her. "I won't say sorry for that, you jerk."

"-I guess I deserved that..." She says with resignation, a little smile on her face from seeing the pout of extreme cuteness. "-I promise, I won't do that ever again..... That hurt though.-" She rubs her muzzle and backs up, horn glowing. "-I'll just try to use the spell again so we can understand each other, hold still.-" She quickly formed the rune filled orb and shot it at me, me staying still this time. The orb bounced off of me, blasting through some bookshelves before it finally dissipated.

We both stared at the damage, mouths agape. "-That wasn't supposed to happen...-" I hear her mutter. "-Why did that happen?-"

"Hey." I get her attention and point at her horn. "That-" I point at the wreckage and shake my head. "-won't work-" I then point at myself, still shaking my head. "-on me." I inform her, earning a confused stare from her. I repeat the motions again and all I get is more confusion from her. "Is it me or am I terrible at charades...."

She bounced quite a few spells off of me for what seemed like hours, her mane getting more and more out of whack, until she dropped from exhaustion. "Man, I didn't have to do anything! Ha,ha,ha!" The world quickly turned faded to white around us, making me move closer to Twilight in fear. "This better mean we're waking up...." I think to myself, a little worried. The fading soon engulfed us, making me go numb where the white made contact with me. "Aaaahhhhhh!" All thoughts ended when I was engulfed completely.

Back in the waking world

"Snort! hmmm? Where am I?" I quickly get up and scan my surroundings, noticing I wasn't in my room. In the dull early morning light my living room looked depressing. "Okay, I'm still home." I think aloud, relieved that I'm home. I look down at myself and almost started to cry. "So yesterday wasn't a dream......grrrr!" My stomach breaks me out of my reverie. "Not the time to throw a pity party...." I get off the couch and make my way to the kitchen, unknowingly dragging the tentacles on the floor.

In the doorway, I fumble to find the light switch, one arm rubbing my eyes. I hear movement and within seconds, the lights turned on and revealed the many ponies in my kitchen.

"Surprise!"

Author's Note:

I dunno if I got Luna right.....:unsuresweetie: .... Anyway, I think I did pretty good!:pinkiehappy: I did most of this in the middle of the night because...

Oh, just before I forget, I am posting this after two days of no power in my town.... Probably gonna lose power again...:twilightoops: the weather is going crazier than cupcakes over here!:pinkiecrazy: