Shortly after Tri teleported out of my house, the little ones decided to drag me outside.
"H-Hey! Stop that! Don't bite there!" My yells were going ignored by the little ones. The big one heard me though.
"- Uhh... Girls? I don't think she wants to go out... -" she said in an almost whisper, almost unheard by the trio of little monsters.
"- It's okay Fluttershy, I'm just going to take her to meet my sister. -" the little white one replied, letting go of me.
"- Well...okay.... Just try to be careful. I don't think she is used to be dragged around.... -"
"Okay guys, if ya want me to go with ya it better be somewhat important. Just please, no dragging." I conceded with my irish accent leaking through.
"- Did ya hear that? It sounded like she wants to go with us.-"
"- Yes, I heard Applebloom. Now, let's get moving! -" The white one exclaimed, starting to trot away in the direction of the candy house.
Within four minutes of following the group, and gaining various looks from the residents of the town, we were in front of the building. As soon as I walked in front of one of the windows, I heard glass shatter and, not wanting glass in my eyes, closed them. Next thing I know, I'm on my back and missing the doll I was holding with something heavy on my chest.. Opening my eyes, I am greeted with an insane sight, a pink pony with a wild cotton candy like mane staring into my eyes with her deep blue ones.
Sensing my panic, two tentacles wrap around her and pick her up off of me. That action earned a few gasps from my audience. While she was suspended in the air, I took my time getting up and brushed the dirt off of my clothes. I turn to my group and point at the pink one in my tentacle's grip with a confused look on my face.
"Do ya know 'er? If ya don't, I'm chuckin 'er back where she came from." I promise. The message seemed to come across the language barrier and they nod. "Okay, now, you..." I point to the pink one. "Don't do that again, you could have hurt someone." I say while giving her a light glare.
"- Okie dokie, not gonna happen again.-" she says while giving me a mock salute.
"Okay, tentacles, put her down." I command while giving a tentacle a pat, sensing a lot of love from the touch. "I really gotta get a good name for these things...." I think to myself. " Wait.... Where's the doll?" The moment I thought that, I sensed a feeling from the tentacles basically saying, 'don't worry I got this.' One tentacle moved and grabbed the doll from inside a nearby barrel. "Who the hell leaves an empty barrel in town?" That thought was immediately silenced once the doll was gracefully dropped into my hands, feeling love radiate from the tentacles. Smiling a little from the feeling, I give one a pat on the side.
When the pink one was safely on the ground, the crowd watching this gave a synchronized sigh of relief. "Seriously? What am in? Some kind of 80's sitcom?" I look at my group and point in the direction we were going. "Let's get moving! I don't like being stared at by everyone like I'm the town freak!" They got the hint and we continued on our path, the pink one following.
3 minutes later
"Wow.... What is this place? The circus?" I thought when I saw the circus tent like building in front of me. The little white one seemed to get more excited when we got closer. Looking back at the others, I see the pink one talking to the yellow one. "More like being talked at. " I giggle in amusement, then stop in wonder. "Of all of the adorable things I've heard, one of the top six in my list. Am I really that adorable now? Sigh... Just go with it. I don't wanna go even more crazy." I sigh and look back at the pink one.
I had just got her to get the message to go talk to someone else. For a little bit, she just hopped around me asking me questions at a pace I thought possible. When I pointed at my ears she had something akin to a seizure for a split second, and when that was done she just looked at me and smiled so wide I thought she was the joker incarnate for a second and, with surprising bounciness, she hopped off to the yellow one.
The little white one opened the door, a green aura wrapped around the handle and her horn, and I heard a chime of a bell on the inside. We walked inside and I instantly noticed the dresses on the walls and mannequins, if you could call pony shaped ones mannequins. Feeling dread, realizing I was wearing a dress and that I was a girl inside of what could be described as hell, or heaven if I were girly, I gulped and resigned to my fate.
"Of all the places they could have brought me, they brought me to a dress store.... Dammit! ...sigh.... I probably can't even run even if I wanted to, seeing as the little unicorn can lift things with her mind." I think in despair.
"- Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique. How may I help- ahhhhh!-" the loud scream broke me from my thoughts. Looking around, I see a snow white pony with a deep purple mane. "Huh... How did she get her mane to do that? It probably take too long with those hoov-" That thought stopped when I noticed her horn. "Ahh, more levitation. So that's how she does it." After a few seconds of starring, she regained her composure and blushed a little bit.
"- I'm dreadfully sorry about that dear, but your appearance caught me off guard. And I must add that the dress you are wearing has one of the more... unique themes I've ever seen.-" she apologized. The little white pony trotted up to her.
"- Hi sis! Meet my new friend.... I didn't get her name.-" she looked back at me. "- What is your name anyway?-"
The yellow one joined in. "- Sweetie, I don't think she can understand us.-" She looks back at the bigger white one.
"- Rarity, you work with visitors from other kingdoms. Wouldn't you know a translation spell?-" She asked, looking hopeful.
"- I think I have one dear, just give me a few moments to see if I can find the book. Though, I haven't a clue why you wouldn't go to Twilight for this.-" the white one admitted, walking out of the room with the yellow one.
"-We'll help too!-" The little white one yelled running after them
"- CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BOOK FINDERS! YAY! -" The other two yelled chasing their friend, leaving me all by myself with the pink one nowhere to be found.
"Well... That was unexpected." I think to myself, looking at where they went. "Just gonna follow them I guess.." I shrug and walk over to the doorway leading into a hallway. Following the noises of yelling and crashing around, end up on the third door on the right. The door was open and the sight I was greeted with was complete chaos. In the room was a queen size bed and two little bookshelves. The little trio apparently made the bookshelf on the left side of the room fall over. They were just throwing books left and right, taking a small peek at the cover and just throwing them in a disorganized pile. The big white one was looking through the opposite bookshelf with the yellow one at a slower, more organized pace.
After a minute or two of watching this, I decide to look for the pink one. Walking out of the room, I see a flash of pink leading into another room. Following it, I walked into a kitchen. "Huh? Its surprisingly modern for a village of ponies. How would they use the stove, let alone make one? They don't even have han- ooohhh! Gotta stop forgetting that they aren't ordinary ponies." Surprisingly enough, I found the pink one digging in the fridge. After a few seconds of internal debate, I decide to walk up and get her attention by poking her.
In the middle of my walk over to her, she just kinda... vanished, leaving a dust cloud in her shape behind. "Well.... I think I'm in cartoon land, judging from what I just witnessed." I think to myself with a twitch in my right eye. "Now... Where did she g-AHHH!" That thought was stopped by the pink one suddenly dropping from the ceiling onto the unfortunate cushion below, which was me. "What is she?!? A ninja?!?"
My tentacles quickly got her off of me, feeling annoyance from them all the while. Looking at her, I saw that she had a layer of what appeared to be white frosting on her mouth. "Ah, raidin' the fridge are we? We really gotta stop meeting this." I say to her with a playful glare. "But really though, not cool, your friends need a little help looking for somethin'." I say while carrying her into the other room unnoticed by the other occupants.
Once I got the tentacles to drop her, a little roughly I might add, she quickly wiped her mouth with one of her hooves and bounced off towards the older group. "- Pinkie? Where did you run off to?-" the white one questioned while glancing at the cover of a book wrapped in a blue glow. I, deciding I probably be in the way, decided to take a seat on the bed.
"-I was looking for the book in the kitchen!-" she all but screamed.
"-Oh really? The last time I remember you being in my kitchen alone was when you ate all my special marshmallow frosting.-" the white one deadpanned, sniffing a few times. "-You ate it all didn't you? I can smell it.-" she gave her a small knowing smile.
The pink one smiled back. "-I may have... But I found the book!-" she dug into her mane with a hoof and pulled out a book. "-Isn't this what you were looking for?-"
"How did she even hold onto the book? She doesn't even have fingers!" I think to myself, wondering about the implications of how that would even work.
The white one gasped. "-Where was it? I thought I put it on the shelf somewhere...-"
"-I can find just about anything with enough frosting on hoof!-" The pink one declared with a little bounce. The white one just looked at her and shrugged. The little ones, hearing the commotion, join our group.
"-Okay Pinkie. Just wait a little bit and we'll be able to understand our guest.-" she said quickly looking for the right passage in the book. "-Girls? I think we have a problem with the spell. It will grant any two ponies the knowledge of the target's language, but it is very magic draining... Also it works for only six hours, so its not a permanent spell.-" she said with a little sigh. "-I don't trust any of you to not rush her with questions, excluding fluttershy. Sorry Fluttershy, but I think you'll be rushed with questions too. so I'll be the translator for the dear.-"
"-Well then, go on sis! I want to know what her name is! We can worry about the time limit later.-"
"-Yay! I can finally know what to do for her Welcome to Ponyville party!-"
"-Do you think you can ask her if she has any pets, if you don't mind?-"
"-Sweet, now I can thank her for the pancakes!-"
"-Hey girls, yah think that after this, I can take her to meet mah sis?-" the little yellow one asked.
"-We'll see, Applebloom. Its up to her or her parents.-" the big yellow one said with small smile. "- judging from her size, I'd say she is as old as you, if not younger. So she may need some friends her age.-" The little yellow one's eyes grew distant. "-Fluttershy... I don't think she has any parents...-"
The white one blinked. "-What? Why would you think that?-"
"-Scootaloo, didn't you notice that the house didn't even have anypony else inside, besides her?-" the little white one asked while turning towards the orange one.
"-Come to think of it... No, no I didn't see anypony else.-" The orange one said, looking at me with an unreadable expression.
"-Well... I suppose we could ask the dear what happened.-"
"- I don't think that's a good idea Rarity. I saw her cry when she looked inside of her photo album. Maybe once we are done with the spell, we'll run over to Twilight's. I saw her leave with the album.-" The orange one said while still looking at me with that same unreadable expression.
I yawn and stretch a little, suddenly feeling tired. "Must be the body..." I think before yawning a little louder, gaining the attention of the others.
"-Aww... The poor dear must be younger than we thought.-" I heard one say, my eyes straining to stay open. My tentacles shared the drowsiness, retracting into my back with a small squish. "-must stay awake... Bed so soft.....zzzzzzz-" was all I thought before I felll over on the bed.
the balance is restored from the like's and the dislike thou this should more like's maybe they don't like the tentacles
im just curious whar she is
Alright......you got my attention.....
Go on
5885301
loli (n)
(informal) Abbreviation of lolita.
lolita (n)
A young girl who is sexually alluring.
wats loli
5885669 Huh youre right!
Is she/he really THAT small?
Hmm... Ya know what? This is pretty good for being written on a tablet. Nicely done.
Your short description says 'tay home' instead of 'stay home'
.......Yes.......
I am quite curious as to how this will play out exactly.
...I don't know what this is... I don't know why you made this... But I will find you, and I will hug you.
.. Whoa didn't expect this kind of reception.... I love it!
5886257 sorry man kinda wrote that quickly on this thing.
5885669 you are right. He is pretty short in here.... He is as short as sweetie belle, minus the horn.
5885082 I'll try, oh great lord of tentacles. I'll be honest here. I have kinda a clue as to where I'm going. Things will get crazier when Discord shows up.
5886704 .... I'm scared. .... Make it quick...
Also, just to sort out the issue of what kind of loli he is, I'm going with the anime kind. You know, body of little kid but is older than she seems. Kinda like the girl.
animemvc.com/Content/animes/ladies_versus_butlers/mimina_ousawa.jpg
She's eighteen if I remember correctly.
The next chapter will have the princesses show up and the language barrier sorted out.
Really enjoyed the story so far. Keep up the good work!
5887398 I'll get right on those fixes. thanks man. I'm keeping the weirdness thing though.
Kinda looks like the Plain Doll from Bloodborne.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/bloodborne/images/c/c4/Image-bloodborne-doll-02.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150329104951
5887698 ..... Uh... Gimmie a sec... How about I get rid of little?
Decided to go over chapter 2 again. You got allot better with the grammar this time! Only found a few issues.
"-I don't trust any of you to not rush her with questions, excluding Fluttershy
Ok. It is a little unclear what Rarity thinks. Does she think Fluttershy will overwhelm the protagonist with questions? Or that Fluttershy will be overwhelmed by questions from the protagonist.
So I'll be the translator for the dear.-
5887757 fixed the question part. This things touch screen can get a little wonky.
to soon. I just think you could have made two or three chapters more with the language barrier, it usually happens to fast, that all of them know a spell, and such things.
To be honest, i liked it, that they thougt of her of her to be a little girl, an animal, or something different.
I just think, that he is probably not that cute anymore, if he talkes to them, explains that he is more or less something like an old Stallion/Human, in a short Body.
I hope he somehow keeps his cuteness, and that the problem with his parents is going to continue, to be a big issue.
I guess the only thing i really want from you is, that you please make every chapter at least as long as this one.
5887838 Ummm. I think you forgot to hit save. Nothing changed.
5889678 A solution (without re-writing this chapter) would be the spell gets applied to the tentacles by accident, and since they're mute...
And if you wanted to delay communication even more, you could make it so that they don't realize they used it on the tentacles.
Twilight "Ok. I'll use a translation spell on her"
Rarity "Don't bother dear. I already tried that, it didn't work."
Twilight "What!"
5887718 Yeah. Should get rid of little.
If it was me, I would make the protagonist slightly taller than the CMC, but shorter than regular ponies. Otherwise she would be extremely slow to get anywhere because of how short her legs would have to be. But I guess if she is shorter, you could have her ride the CMC.
Looks at when ch2 was published: March 26
Looks at date: April 21
Sooo....
Soon?
Eh, once or twice a month?
Guess it could be a pick-me-up sometime, I'll follow and wait till the next one.
5890220 maybe.... from the looks of it, it is gonna be a big one.
5890030 uhh... I didn't think of that.... The language thing is gonna be solved by yours truly. Just think about the spell... But in reverse!
5889678 well man, I did want a good language barrier fic.... But I couldn't come up with much else for that road... though.... I have a few ideas for a different story. once I'm done with this, I'll finish that rough draft I have laying around.
5890210 just two words. Tentacle travel.
OK guys, here's the deal. I.... May have never thought up a name for the tentacles..... Soooooo I'll let you guys name them. the only rule I have is it cannot be a hentai joke.
5885327
One of those that did not make it into Monster Girl Quest.
5890873 I'd name them woka(s)
I tried to find names that had some meaning in regards to tentacles.
Mythical/Fantacy Names:
Medusa - had a bunch of snakes for hair.
Illithid - DnD race. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illithid
Ursula - From Little Mermaid.
Scylla - Greek sea monster that had tentacles (or dog heads. Depends on the translation ).
Kraken - Call her Katie. Kraken sounds kind of masculine. "Kraken... that sounds too masculine... how about Katie."
Cthulhu
Nyaruko - Nyarlathotep. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyaruko:_Crawling_with_Love From Cuthulu Mythos. Has a bunch of cute names for allot of the eldritch horrors.
Real People Names:
Marie - as in Marie Curie, discover of radioactivity.
Joan of Arc - Famous French leader. Burned at the stake for witchcraft.
Nightingale - Florence Nightingale - A very famous nurse. Revolutionized hospitals.
Amelia - Because its a cool name. Amelia Earhart - famous airplane pilot.
Mata Hari - World famous exotic dancer from before WWI. Was shot for being a spy in WWI.
Hope these help.
5891116 well then... I didn't expect that many from you. The kracken one is good though. The first name I thought of was Tenta..... Yep, I hate myself.
5891182
Ok. Done some more thinking.
If you are going for the Kraken idea...
Kathrine
Kathy
are a couple other female names to use.
I'm curious. Did you do the cover artwork?
5894651 nahh. This thing is something I came across one day and had an idea when I saw it. You can guess what it is though... I dunno who made it.... Did I do something dumb?
5894709
Well.....
At the very least you should link to the artist's page who drew it.
http://invaderika.deviantart.com/art/TRADITIONAL-Okage-The-Shadow-King-Styled-Ally-487246142
But legally you're supposed to ask the artist for permission to use their work.
5895419 well then.... Uh... I'll get right on that. still new on the whole fan fiction thing.
Edit: just sent the request and explained the situation.
The next chapter is done.... But, you won't be seeing it till Monday. I gotta work out the kinks in it.
Though I will give you guys a special little gift for being patient.
Here's a hint to what you will see next.
Spike will meet Dakota, but something unexpected will happen.
Dakota has his\her first taste of teleportation.
Celestia makes an epic entrance in front of town hall.
Also, the naming contest/thing is still going on. So I suggest putting more names here.
maybe the cutie mark crusaders could be attack by the monster or lead the monster/animals into town and have the loli defeat it just an idea if you what to use it it's good so far
5906695 she won't be fighting any baddies for quite a while. Though I have a plan for discord. Just look at this.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/361/c/8/mlp_fim_friends_from_unexpected_places_42_by_monsterlord_18-d5pb3rb.jpg
5901978 The spoiler tag exists for a reason....
5910578 i knew that.
5906974 ... that's Sleath the Scaleless, Grandfather of Sorcery.
Can find anything with cream on hoof, Eh? Can you find My virginity? Sexual Innuendo for the Win!
5906974
That's just a recolor of Sethe the Scaleless
impossible