I'm a loli?!?

by aterriblewriter

Just One of Those Days

"Da....ke...up...."

With a small groan, I slowly open my eyes, groggily waking up. I notice that it was early morning, the dull morning light streaming from the window on my left. The hospital room was empty, a few posters and the like decorating the walls. On my right was a small tray, some of the good ol' hospital food that no one liked. I was wearing a hospital gown a few sizes too big for me, looking like I was wearing a large blanket.

"Nice to see some more parallels with stuff back home." I think with a smile, grabbing the small cup of green jello.

"Good mornin', sunshine." A voice says out of nowhere, causing me to drop the small cup onto the floor and make a mess. "Sorry 'bout that."

"That's it, I've gone insane." I think to myself, starring at the mess on the floor with some resignation. "I guess it would've happened sooner or later, I guess."

"Hey!" Alice yells, causing me to flinch at the volume. "You're not crazy. This is not some kind of hallucim... Hallucinam..."

"Hallucination?"

"Yeah, that!" She yells, causing me to imagine her pointing at me with a thankful smile. "We're both in this thing together, so let's just work together to figure this out."

"Okay.... We gotta start somewhere. Maybe..... What do ya remember from before getting up in my head?"

Uh.... I was going to school with my friends. I think one of them noticed someone following us....After that, nothing else.... You?"

"I went to bed after a big anime marathon. Nothing there to suggest something out of the ordinary." I shrug, slowly getting up off the hospital bed to clean the mess. My back felt a little better, the pain more tolerable than when I first woke up.

"Hmmm..... I guess we'll cross that bridge, eventually." She says unsurely, before moving on. " could you tell me about the whole 'ponies' thing? I think I saw some in here, before I passed out."

"Well..... You're either gonna love this, or hate this...." I shrug, ignoring the ensuing discomfort and finishing cleaning the mess. "We are stuck here, in Equestria. Not a single resident here speaks English and, thanks to a certain lavender unicorn, we have to learn their language the hard way...... Oh, and we have some of the residents here crushing really hard on me."

"You're right about one thing, the 'hating this' part." She groans in annoyance. "I guess those Japanese lessons I took might come in handy."

"Wait, Japanese lessons? How old are ya?"

"I'll be sixteen on Halloween."

"Nice, I'll be twenty one the day before."

While we talked and got to know each other, I didn't spill the beans on that I was a guy before getting here. I ate the food on the little tray, ignoring the flowers and hay. There were a few of those hard candies that were on my milkshake the other day, this time they were blue. I threw one in my mouth with a small shrug, loving the blue raspberry flavor.

"What are these? Jolly Ranchers?"

"Something like that, except they are missing that sticky texture that Jolly Ranchers usually have."

The hallway door opened, the butler from the mansion walking in with a blank face. We both had a small staring contest, ending when he levitated a small paper from somewhere. I confusedly grabbed the note, reading the message written in English.

(If you read this, you are able to leave place. Nice ponies said they want play safe after the 'mess.' Stone will take you back home. Your sorry friend, Spoon.)

"Who's Spoon?"

"One of my best friends in this place."

I smile at Stone, sliding out of the bed and grabbing the rest of the candies of the tray. Throwing another one in my mouth, I politely smile at the bored unicorn, causing him to nod and walk out of the room, me following closely behind. A few of the nurses and doctors smiled and waved goodbye at us, Stone nodding in return.

"A-Aren't they going to give you your clothes back?" Alice asked, sounding a little embarrassed at the thought of being outside in the clothes I'm wearing.

"Well..... If I had to guess, seeing as I have only seen these ponies wearing hats, ties, and the like..... They could've cut them off." I frown at the thought, Alice going silent at my explanation. I shivered at the breeze that went through the gown, sending a new feeling through my new....'bits.' I suddenly had the feeling that this walk will be a long one.

The walk to my house was silent, Stone not much of a talker and the residents were watching me wearily. It was about ten minutes into the walk that I noticed something more 'off' than usual, a pink blur moving in between alleyways.

"W-What's that?" Alice asks, sounding a little fearful.

"If I'm right, it's probably nothing to worry about." I shrug, having learned better to question the things Pinkie does.

Stone and I continued on, Alice accepting my unhelpful answer. When we came within eyesight of my home, I ran ahead with the intent to speed towards my closet and change out of my hospital gown, completely missing the surprised expression on Stone's face. I quickly opened my front door with a smile, greeted with a small explosion from a cannon, showered in confetti.

"-Surprise!-" The pink freak yelled from behind the cannon, smiling like the Joker.

"Sup, Pinks. How's it going?" I smile at her, not going to question how she got there so fast.

"-Here's your 'Happy you're not dead party!" Pinkie exclaims, the few ponies behind her cheering.

The trio of fillies from school were here, sitting in my living room with Spike, chewing on some cupcakes. Spoon and Tiara kept their distance from the trio, staying by my bookshelf and waving at me with a smile. Fluttershy was absent, probably dealing with her animals. Twilight was by the TV, trying her best to examine it without touching it. Rainbow Dash was hanging by the punchbowl, keeping herself off the ground by lightly flapping her wings. Ash was doing the thing she did at the last party, keeping to the edge of the room with a small cup of punch.

Pinkie sped away, leaving me with the chance to run upstairs and change. I quickly ran inside my room's closet, giving Alice a good look at all the clothes I have.

"Oh my god! Is that a Sailor Moon outfit?"

"Regrettably, yes. There's pretty much everything ya need to cosplay in this room, all organized by the series they are from." I think with a shrug, eyeing the Akatsuki cloaks in the corner. "Ya know what? I'll let ya choose what I'll wear for today."

I'm pretty sure she grinned like a madman at the thought, judging from the excited squeal that followed.

"Okay! Could you walk around and show me some stuff?"

With a smile at her attitude, I gave her a small preview of the various outfits in the room.

"Oh, god yes! One of those, they're adorable!" She squealed after seeing the Touhou section.

"Okay, which one? There are a lot of these." I ask, poking my way through the clothes.

"The red one, over there."

"Which one? There's a lot of red ones here, as ya can see." I point out, going towards Flandre's clothes. "This? It is a certain vampire's dress, although the wings don't really help out with the vampire description."

"No! The one with the scarf-cape thingy."

"Sekibanki's outfit? Not bad of a choice, if I may say so myself." I smile, grabbing the dress off its hanger. "Want the bow that comes with it?" I ask, reaching up and grabbing the blue bow off of the shelf above when I heard a giggle in affirmative.

I quickly crossed the room and grabbed some blue underwear, before putting on the dress and scarf. I moved in front of the mirror I found in this room the other day, showing Alice how we looked.

"Do you have any makeup? You're a little pale, to put it lightly."

"I dunno, probably. My closet changed when I got here, it never had all this." I wave a hand at the clothes.

Alice hummed thoughtfully. "Then it probably came with makeup, no cosplay collection is complete without the makeup. Check that cabinet, in the back."

I blink, just now noticing said cabinet. I quickly walked over there and opened it, surprised at the seemingly endless amount of makeup in there. There was pretty much everything a person needed for any kind of makeup emergency.

"You know what, imma go get Rarity. She's the one that probably has more experience with makeup than anyone." I tell Alice. "I don't really trust myself to not mess it up."

"Oh, come on! It isn't all that hard to put on makeup!"

"Just trust me on this." I assure her, running downstairs."Besides, Rarity will probably find out about my closet eventually.....it might as well be on my terms." I shrugged a little in resignation. "I am probably gonna regret this...." I muttered to myself as I passed Rainbow.

I found Rarity in the kitchen, sipping something red out of a small wineglass. I blinked at the sight, my guess at the time being somewhere between nine and eleven in the morning. She even had the small bottle set on the table, a sparkly logo of some kind of magical circle emblazoned on the front.

"Sooo.... Drinking, eh? I would've waited until a little while longer, but I won't judge." I say, gaining the attention of Rarity, who just put the glass down.

"-Oh! Hello, darling. That's a nice little dress you have on, makes you look a little mysterious.-" She gushes, lifting the cloak off me to take a better look. "-Just look at how tightly woven the threads are! This was obviously made by somepony with dedication to their craft!-" I politely cough, breaking Rarity from her admiration of the outfit. "-Oh! Sorry, dear. Do you need something?-" She asks, seeing me raise an eyebrow and grab the cloak out of her magical grip to put it back on.

I make a 'follow me' gesture and walk back out the room, Rarity following closely behind. I guess Ash saw us making our way upstairs and got curious, having joined us with a shrug. Sweetie saw us going upstairs and gave me an apologetic stare, like I was going towards death row, having got an idea of what I'm going to do.

With some hesitation, I brought my group to my room, just outside the closet door.

"Time for the big reveal...."

"She's just a pony, what's the worst that can happen?"

"God dammit.... You just said the worst phrase you could ever say."

"Wha-?"

Without another word I opened the door. A loud, over excited squeal was all I heard from Rarity before she became a purple and white blur disappearing inside the room. Ash looked over to me, an amused look in her eyes.

"-Just our luck, huh?-" She laughed, ruffling up my hair with a wing. "-I'm going to be honest. You're not gonna like the next few minutes, judging from her reaction.-" She laughed again. "-Don't worry, I'll get a camera for this.-"

Suddenly I was wrapped in a blue aura and dragged inside, my hands clawing into the floor in some vain attempt to stop what was going to happen next. Ash was laughing uncontrollably at the sight, seeing me stare desperately at her, only to laugh even more. "-You opened this can of worms, now you have to deal with the consequences!-" She yelled in between laughs.

The dragging suddenly stopped and I was lifted into the air, moving towards the nightmare waiting behind me. I was slowly turned around, revealing a Rarity smiling a smile that told of nearing horrors that were sure to be directed at me.

"-Makeover time!-"

It was at this moment I had one thought, one that confused Alice.

"Where the hell are the tentacles when you need them!?!"

If anyone had listened closely, they would've heard something similar to laughter coming from my back.

Author's Note:

Sup..... I'm pretty sure I'm going to have the next chapter be a flashback to where Dakota was during Ticket Master...... Or... Would you guys rather have Steel show up? Think Armstong from FMA, but he speaks like the Heavy from TF2. Oh! And the pets will show up there too!

As always....

I love you.

For the guys who disliked this.....

Comments

[mrkillwolf666]

10/10

[OmegaRuby]

I love this XD Dakota you just dug your grave

[Hoppa_21]

Makeover with Rarity? That's going to be interesting!

This story is already by almost 50.000 words and I still love it! Guess you earned yourself a follower!

[KiaraGate]

Just what outfits are not in that closet?

[The Random Lord]

that octopus picture in the authors notes kills me when I look at it
it's hilarious

[LostPoet]

CAN'T! STOP! LAUGHING!

[aterriblewriter]

6477127 it has EVERYTHING!

[aterriblewriter]

6477699 i.imgflip.com/fplrz.jpg

[The Slending Angel]

Oi, ATW, can we get either a Senketsu or Junketsu outfit cameo? That'd make my fucking day. Or, if you don't want that one, how about Maka Albarn's outfit? Seriously. Any of the three of those would make me really happy.

[aterriblewriter]

6477847 I've already had a plan for those two...... not all of the stuff in there is for show.

[The Slending Angel]

6477869 No... NO... NO MOTHER BLUEBERRY FUCKING WAY!!! You're joking... You gotta be joking...

OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOD YOU'RE NOT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!

[aterriblewriter]

6479053 img07.deviantart.net/7895/i/2013/154/a/e/rock_lee__troll_face_by_watercolos-d67qwa2.jpg

[mattchilly]

So far i'm really enjoying this story, and heck ya Touhou! Sometimes i can't help but feel like not many people know about it despite everything that says otherwise.

[Autumn breeze24]

OKAY THAT IS FUCKING IT! I have tried dealing with this but the plot holes are WAY to abundant for me to deal with number one he fucking asked the CMC not to tell Rarity about the fucking closet and he fucking forgets what the hell! There are just too many stupid things going on at once!

[aterriblewriter]

8287483
Sorry, bud. He wanted to tell her himself.... sorry...... I'll fix it in a bit.

Edit: I did something a little lazy, but I think it should make your rage subside.... Again, I'm sorry. just point out the plot holes, and I'll try to fix them up. This is my first fic, I appreciate the criticism, no matter how angry the reviewer is.

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

8287483
You're hung up... On the closet... I'm baffled...

[God of Calamity]

"Nice, I'll be twenty one the day before."

Ayyyyye we share the same birthday😁😁😁