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Octavia is worried about Vinyl. With their wedding in four months, Octavia has been growing more and more stressed trying to make sure everything is perfect. But when one morning, Octavia finds her fiancé holding her glasses and bawling her eyes out, Octavia decides it's time to get help.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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i like it, and i think the overall concept is very adorable
but ya gotta space them lines
This was a very interesting read. Have a like and a favomorph.
Sweet, really sweet.
My only concern is that the ending is too rushed. That might just be me, but that sort of psychological problem doesn't just go away like that. It feels like the problem is secondary to the world building,which isn't a bad thing, but I was probably expecting more of the former and however I look at it, it strikes an odd tone.
Regardless, this really made me smile, so kudos.
The standard of auhors I find is raising, everypony seems to make me smile more often... conspiracy?
space the lines, and the end is WAY too rushed
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Thx a lot you guys. You have no idea how much your kind words mean to me.
5662970 Yeah... I'll admit endings are never my strong suit.
5662993 it is a wonderful story, just try to keep the ending from being too soon next time, you still get the like
I read it. It wasn't my cup of tea.
Now where's my cookie?
Good start, but it feels rushed. There's a lot of potential for fleshing out some parts much more, the ending in particular.
And, of course, all the issues come back to "been bullied".
I`m tired of that. It seems like this is the only reason to grow up with issues that you people even know.
Bo-ring.
___
It could be so much more interesting, but... You totally blew it in favor of "blander then boiled broccoli" tale.
Bit boring and cliche. Sorry.
The ending was just beautiful
7661320 it was? I thought it was a bit rushed...
7662088 yes it was in my opinion I thought that the ending was just so beautiful kinda feels like me I was bullied in school and instead of wagering sunglasses over my glasses I just played video games to get away from the world and thus created a diffrent side of me only when I played games so I can relate to vinyl. So please keep up the good work
Not bad. Not great, but not bad.
Requires some light editing, perhaps, but doesn't any writing? Perhaps my only real criticism is that the story seemed a bit, how do you say, uneven? Some say rushed, but I don't think that's exactly right. Length-wise, it's fine. The pacing just seems somewhat wrong to me, perhaps trivializing Vinyl's personality issues with the early fluff. Yes, it is important to establish their routine, their life together, but it seemed like you tended to dance around the heart of the story a bit.
Still, a decent light-read. The little bit at the end, Octavia seeing Vinyl walk down the aisle without her glasses, was a very nice little note (no pun intended) to end on.
That was pretty good. Honestly almost all Octascratch fics are good. Its my otp