• Member Since 12th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 7th, 2019

Thornwing


Just a little, old baby kitty...

E

Ever since Twilight came to town, Mayor Mare's position as leader of Ponyville has been slipping. With her destiny overshadowed by the new princess on the block, it's time for the old gray mare to move on.


Originally submitted as part of the February 2015 Writeoff "Closing Time".

**Now with dramatic reading by Goombasa!**

Cover art by harwicks-art.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 113 )
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

First upvote and likely first fave too. :D

5646460
You beat me to it! :rainbowlaugh:

Thanks for the kind words in your review. I'm glad something good came out of that last Writeoff round.

This is the first story I've read that is centred around Mayor Mare, and damn does it set a high standard to follow. It flows well, and the character's voice comes through strongly. Definitely an enjoyable read.

If I had to give any further criticisms, other than those I gave in the writeoff, it would be this: trim, trim, and trim. There's still a fair amount of clutter in the narrative, and occasionally there are errors such as this one:

Hardly a problem, seeing as I wouldn’t need it anymore, I took a step back to consider retrieving it.

Where you have used a comma where a period was needed.

Stuff like that.

Anyhow, good stuff.

Mayor Mare certainly has gone through a lot and seems to be swept to the side since Twilight came into the picture. Sad to see how much she puts herself down.

I'd love to see more of what Mary is going to get up to. This was beautifully bittersweet.

5646994
This Writeoff round took a lot out of me. I'll to have to consider following up on this once I build up enough inspiration not to screw up an addition.

I really hope that this becomes something that will be explored in Season 5.

Thumbs up.

This was rather good.

Wonderful take on the mayor. Though I doubt she's out of a job. You can't complain to a princess about zoning laws. Especially if she is off saving the country

Actually brought a tear to my this did. And I hope you continue this, because even with a Princess, a town needs it mayor.

You do a great job fleshing out Mayor Mare's character, and her voicing is excellent (I especially liked following her thoughts about the town as she walks toward Twilight's castle). What I like most is that, although the fic begins with a bit of melancholy over the mayor feeling overshadowed and useless, those feelings quickly transform to optimism as you present her resignation not as a sad ending but as the beginning of something new.

I'd definitely be interested in a sequel following Mary's journey to reinvent herself in Manehattan.

The Ol' Gray Mare, she aint' what she usta'be, ain't what she usta'be, ain't what she usta'be

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Thanks for the comments! I was waiting for someone to pull out the song. :rainbowlaugh:

Can't wait to see if they do something with the Mayor in Season 5. It would make for a really fun episode to see some kind of tension between her and Twilight. I liked drawing some parallels to her thinking of the town as her child and how it's all grown up now and ready to run off with the Princess.

Mayor Mare dies her hair grey.

5647617
Teens in the 80 means they are 40+ now... fits with the timeframe. Or I just pull out headcanon and ignore the comics. :facehoof:

5647647
That she does. But she also might dye it pink. I figure she dyes it an age appropriate color due to the non-fact that her original seafoam green isn't the prettiest color. She got a lot of issues. :pinkiecrazy:

5647617 Old can be how you feel, too. Maybe she dyes her mane and tail to reflect it? Pink hair might be thought of as more of a young mare's colouration. And a common urban legend is how much high political office can age someone, especially US Presidents.

5647706
Yeah, those before and after photos of the presidents are pretty scary. Talk about your high stress jobs. :pinkiegasp:

She's old, not aged. There's a difference.

5647735
I resemble that remark. :rainbowlaugh:

Exactly the point I was trying to make. Thanks for the comment!

Goddamnit.
A simple premise, of Mayor Mare dealing with Cutie Mark Dissonance Syndrome.
You pulled it off.
Well done.
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slow_clap_citizen_kane.gif

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See! I told you it didn't belong on your 'I'll get around to reading this sometime next year if I'm lucky' shelf.

Thanks for taking a peak. I hope it was well worth your time. :twilightsheepish:

Dan

5647705

And yet, nopony batted an eyelash over Cheerilee dating and almost marrying Big Mac. I'm pretty sure he's not past 30, much less in his 40s.

But then, EQG Big Mac is in highschool, whereas EQG Cheerilee is a staff member.

IMO, Big Mac was only a TA in Equestria Girls and not actually a student. Or perhaps Cheerilee only volunteers at the School Library while she's in college.

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I stopped trying to get it all to make sense. It doesn't. Actually, I started writing a fic about trying to make sense of EqG and had to stop because it was going to be too epic to unleash on the world. Maybe when the time is right I can go back and finish it. :ajsmug:

This is beautiful. The feels...ugh... :fluttershysad:

Oh god, the feels. ._. THE FEELS. :fluttercry:

5647523 And it shows! The writing is practically flawless if you ask me. You made some really interesting parallels, in some impressively eloquent lines. Every sentence has a purpose, the dialogue and the narrative have a harmonious flow and, of course, it's just a really heart-warming story-- and in a rare, sober kind of way; which I think is worth commending.
:twilightsmile:

This was...well, how do I put it?

Sweet. :twilightsmile:

It was also very sobering. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't feel a tear or two as I reached the ending. I adored the characterization of Mayor Mare and everypony else, including Twilight. And yes, even Filthy Rich. Really, this read almost like a script for a future episode of the show.

It helps that you described everything so eloquently, as well. :raritywink:

You've accomplished something quite special here indeed, Thornwing. I applaud you. :heart:

You earn a like and a favourite from me, sugarcube. :ajsmug:

Beautiful little story. I like how you portrayed Twilight; she clearly has grown into the role of princess though she is still very much in character. Just without the un-princessy panic attacks at unwelcome and difficult news. The way she organizes the send-off without a hidden motive of getting Mayor Mare to stay is particularly well done and surprised me a little.
I think that's what makes this story so great. The cast is in character, but the characters have grown and thereby are able to turn an ending into a new opportunity without first having to go through an existential crisis.
Like and fav.

I feel that Twilight was a little underserved. She's a smart mare, and she would have come up with more and better arguments than she did before giving up. Specifically, she has a particular job to do, and it's not administering the minutiae of daily life in a small town. She is responsible for the state of friendship in all of Equestria, and city management is going to distract her from that duty. If Twilight is being taken away from her calling by local politics, it is both her and the Mayor's job to ensure that the bureaucracy stands between Ponyville and Princess.

Granted, it's going to be really hard to maintain friendships with townsfolk when you're telling them "not my problem, talk to the Mayor". But hey, friendship problem, we know just who can solve those.

Edit: oh, left out a critical bit: aside from this quibble, I agree with all the raves and faves. The character of the Mayor was very real, and I loved how it all played out. Good stuff.

Perfect Slice of Life.
You lead the reader through the mayors emotions gentle and slowly.
You depicted her somewhat coming to terms with everything and did so in the same heartwarming fashion as the show does.
This could have been an actual episode and it is a lovely narrated story.

Deserving of being added to my Favs, liked and put into 'Golden Slice'

Thank you for this wonderful story :twilight:

Oh, the feels, the feels.:raritycry:

You could have probably written better reasons for Mary to stay, but that wouldn't be the point of the story. The point was that, much like pony in the end, all good things must come to and end.

But please don't continue the story as this is a perfect one-shot. Adding anything else will take away the poignancy of this.

A beautiful story, it made cry. Mostly because it reminded me of the song Immortality Hym(possibly wrong name), (the song dealing with Twilight's immortality).

5646857
Have you seen Cloud Wander's take? It's a very good one.

5646884
I liked this a lot as well. Sometimes, I think that Mayor Mare is the mayor because nobody else can or wants to handle trying to be a community leader in the insanity that is Ponyville. Or, if you prefer the "Celestia as chessmaster" idea, that she knew that Mary (Marigold?) Mare was competent...and then she probably set things up so that Mayor Mare would have won election in Ponyville quite awhile ago. This would ensure there's someone who is able to deal with Ponyville in charge when Twilight first comes to town. I mean, Nightmare Moon? Parasprite invasion? Overgrown baby dragon? All within one year?

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are you thinking about the song "faster than you know"?

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I debated adding a 'Sad' tag to the story. With the way things turn out, I thought it better to leave it off. It's not a perfectly happy ending, but there's hope for the future which is almost better than a flip.

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Thank you all for the comments. I'm glad you liked the story and appreciate that you took a moment to leave a note saying so.

5648051
Thinking over the Twilight view of things, I didn't really bring out an important piece of the story very well. Twilight comes to a realization that the Mayor needs to be free to live her life and follow her destiny. This happens mostly offscreen in the scene change. For the first part, Twilight is trying to get her to stay. At the end she's setting her free.

I don't know why, but this story kinda reminds me of "Mr. Holland's Opus" for some odd reason... and that alone should hint that it was a beautiful story! :raritywink:

Mayor Mare sadly washes the grey hair dye out of her mane and peels away the faux wrinkles from her cheeks and eyes.

The now-revealed Pinkie clone skips town before anypony's the wiser. :pinkiegasp:

When I read this last night, I don't know why, but I had Billy Joel's "Piano Man" looping in my head. Especially the verse about The Old Man.
"-it was sad and it was sweet and I knew it complete/ when i wore a younger man's clothes."
Kinda crazy, yes? Anyway, good fic. I saw some minor syntax and spelling errors, but otherwise this was close to perfect.

I really enjoyed this story. I do have a question though: Is this set in a future Ponyville? I can't help but view Everfree Park as the whole Everfree Forest, but just being consumed by the growing size of Ponyville.

5649135
It's meant to be following season four. The whole bit about the park is something I threw in going off the idea of the place where the mane6 take their pets to play or have a picnic. Mainly it's just a product of my un-imagination when I was slapping this together to get it submitted for the Writeoff.

Wow. I did not expect a one-shot about Mayor Mare to make me all bleary-eyed. But there you have it. Take a like and a fav.

5648742
Okay, I'll take a swing. Was this the song you were thinking of?

5649160

Alright. No worries. It just was vague as to whether there was a time skip involved. It's already been established that Mayor Mare is younger than she looks due to hair dye, so when you mentioned that it was 20-30 years since she became the Mayor, I got a little confused.

the thing that gets me about this stuff is that I don't think Twilight's position is a position of rulership. Not all princes and princesses rule something, and since her coronation, the only official princess duties Twilight seems to have taken on included overseeing the Rainbow Falls trade convention and welcoming some foreign delegates. Even with her castle, I suspect her authority is going to be more of an abstract and that she won't have actual rulership of anything.

That almost made me cry for some reason. But it was good.

Mayor Mare needs more love, and I loved this story! :heart:

was kind of hoping that the Mayor would reconsider.

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