Discord's Tiny Times

by McProky

The Weird Story

Author's Note:

Just a slighly bit OOC, for the sake of story ^^

“Thank you, Discord, for the help” Flutteshy said with her timid voice. Discord was helping Fluttershy cleaning her cottage after he lived there for a few days. He felt sorry for her, so he offered her his services, but Fluttershy said that he has to do it the normal way. Fluttershy had to go to marketplace to get vegetable for the animals, so Discord was alone in the cottage, animals playing outside. He had almost all of the cottage done, but there were some hard to clean places, so he had to use his magic to do it.

He snapped his fingers and he started to shrink. When the shrinking finished, he was almost same size as an ant, only a little bit smaller. He went into that hard to get place, cleaned it, and came back. But when he tried to grow back by snapping, it didn’t work. He started panicking as to why it didn’t work, and to make matter worse, the doors of the cottage just opened.

“Discord, I’m back.” Fluttershy came through the doors as she called Discord with her now booming voice. Floorboards were cracking under her weight, making tiny crack noises to Fluttershy, but huge thunder sounds to Discord. He tried to run to Fluttershy, but closer he got to her, the more powerful quakes from the power of her hooves were. “Discord?” Fluttershy stopped moving and looked around, but she couldn’t find Discord. Discord, meanwhile, was close to getting to her hooves, when Fluttershy shifted her hoof just a tiny bit, making Discord fly away through air. He closed his eyes out of pure fear.

When he landed, he saw nothing more than pink color. He was tangled in these pink strands, which smelled like somepony just run a marethon. Discord realized he must have landed inside Fluttershy’s mane, or tail, he couldn't really tell. It was really hot, sauna level hot inside of the pink forest. He tried to untangle himself from his pink prison, but he only managed to get himself more tangled. He started to feel lightheaded from the heat and the smell. “Discord, Where are you?” Fluttershy was still looking for him, but unsuccessfully. “If you are just playing games, that’s okay, but I’m going to take shower now, okay? It’s really hot outside, and I need to cool myself down.” Discord was already half passed out when he heard those words. He couldn’t do anything, but wait for a miracle.

Fluttershy came into the bathroom, looking into the mirror, “Oh, my. I look like I went to the Everfree forest.” Fluttershy then adjusted her mane to look more civilized. Not exacly usefull, since she is about to go to shower, but she did it anyway. She stepped into the shower, turned the warm water on, and cleaned herself of any filth that is on her body. She then took a shampoo and massaged into her mane and tail, it felt great. After Fluttershy was done, she stepped from the shower and took a towel. She dried herself of any excess water. She dropped the towel on a rail. Fluttershy then went from her bathroom and closed the door, which made the towel fall down on the floor.

Discord had already passed out when Fluttershy has entered the bathroom. He woke up when he heard Fluttershy say with her thunderous voice, “Oh, my. I look like I went to the Everfree forest.” And with that, Discord’s world has started shaking, loosening his entanglement. He was moving as much as he could to loosen himself, which proved successful. He was falling through the forest of her mane at huge speed. When the forest was gone, he noticed he was about to hit the floor. Luckily, when he did, he landed inside a rug, which made his fall much less painful. When he regained his surroundings, he looked up through the new forest of strands of rug and saw that Fluttershy was slowly walking toward the shower. Unfortunately for Discord, Fluttershy was really sweaty and her body was coated in it. When her right hind hoof flew above him, sweat, dirt and other filth was falling all around him. Luckily, none of the gigantic sweat bombs hit him, but the rug was now smelling really bad. Where in Equestria does Fluttershy walk that she gets this dirty?

Discord was trying to move through the forest, but the bristles were too thick to move through quickly. Meanwhile, Fluttershy was in the shower, cleaning herself. Discord knew he had to get her attention. After several long minutes of forcing his was through the rug forest, Discord managed to finally step on the cold white floor. Just when he sighed, Fluttershy was coming out from her shower. He watched as she was coming towards him, her hoofsteps making earthquakes and her wet coat dropping gigantic drops of water on him. He could barely dodge them at first, but then a few of them hit him, leaving him dazed for a few moments.

Discord watched, as Fluttershy passed over him and took a towel. She looks so cute when she is wet, Discord thought. When she was drying herself, Discord tried to climb up on her, but it proved unsuccesful, when Fluttershy all of suddenly moved and walked away from the bathroom. She closed the doors and shock from the door made her towel fall upon Discord. He was stuck under the castle-sized towel, which smelled of shampoo and was drenched in still warm water.

After many, many minutes of pushing away the cloth of the towel, Discord managed to free himself before and ran toward the gap under the door. When he walked under the door, he heard Fluttershy saying his name. When she couldn’t find him, Fluttershy decided to take a nap on the couch. Discord used this opportunity to try to get her attention. When he reached the couch that she was sleeping on, he climbed on a blanket which reached on the floor. After the climb, he was close to her ear. He then started shouting her name with all his might, but it was useless. He couldn’t get her attention in any way. He would never be heard. He would end up as a food for one of the animals, or a tiny, unnoticeable stain under her hoof. He fell out of her ear and dropped on the floor. He was awaiting him demise, when a gigantic ladybug flew close above him. It landed on Fluttershy’s hoof and it appeared that it tickled her hoof. Fluttershy then woke up, looking on her hoof to look what tickled it. “Hello there, *yawn*, Mrs. Ladybug, why did you tickle my hoof?” The ladybug then flew on her muzzle and she just stayed there. “Oh, there is someone I need to see? On the floor? Please, show me, if you want.”

Fluttershy then stood up from the couch, which made Discord lose his balance and fall on the ground. The ladybug flew towards him and with that, Fluttershy’s gigantic lovely blue eyes lock themselves on tiny form of Discord.

“Discord? Is that you? How did you get so small? Here.” Fluttershy moved her hoof to Discord and when he climbed it, she moved it to her ear. Discord told her what happened and then Fluttershy said, “That is quite an adventure there. If you want, we can go to Twilight to find a solution to your, *giggle* tiny problem.” Discord wasn’t exactly happy to ask somepony to help, but he had no choice, otherwise he will be forever nothing more than an insect under the hooves of gigantic ponies, only to be stepped on.
Discord told Fluttershy that he doesn’t want to go there, that he wanted to rest. But Fluttershy had different ideas.

“Now, Now, Discord. If you won’t mind, I would love to have some fun with you.” Fluttershy then dropped Discord on the floor, and then she said, “Look at you, so tiny and helpless, I might just not notice you while I walk around, *gigggle*” She then raised her hooves and walked around the room, with Discord trying to dodge them. “I must look like a goddess to you, wait, that’s it…...FI FEY FO FUM, I smell tiny Discord in my room, *giggle*.” Fluttershy then lowered her muzzle close to Discord, and she started sniffing. Discord just barely held onto an imperfection on the floor, the strong current making his arms sore. He couldn’t take it anymore, and he let himself be pulled towards her nose. But before that could happen, Fluttershy moved her mane to catch Discord and effectively trapped him there.

“Awww, look at you, tangled inside my mane, would you like a helping hoof?” She then started slowly blowing on Discord inside of her mane, making strands of it move away from Discord. He then started falling down towards the floor, when Fluttershy’s hoof caught him. She then moved him to her chest, giving him propably biggest, and most lovely hug he has ever gotten. “I’m sorry, Discord, I always wanted to try this, but if you feel mad about what just happened, I'm sorry, and it's okay if you think I'm weird.” Discord look confused at first as to why she did it but then he remembered that everybody has a weird side inside, even Discord. He returned the hug, catching every individual strand of her fur. “Now Discord, you wanted to have a nap, you can have it with me, if that’s okay with you.” Discord agreed and Fluttershy went back on the couch with Discord sleeping inside her warm, fuzzy mane.

Comments

[Stardust Speedster]

Hmm. Not a bad story. I didn't notice too many errors, and it was pretty entertaining. Though, it may have helped if you had more scenes where Discord attempted to use the enviroment to his advantage.

All in all, 7.5/10.

[McProky]

5635113
Thanks. Appreciate it ^^
What errors were there? :-)

[Alticron]

This was a pretty nice story, but there are a lot of errors you may want to edit. The most recurring one being a lack of punctuation marks at the end of Fluttershy's dialogue. I'll list those along with the others.

“Thank you, Discord, for the help”

He felt sorry for her, so he offered her his services, but Fluttershy said, that he has to do it the normal way.

You should delete that comma.

“Discord, I’m back”

Discord realized he must have landed inside Fluttershy’s mane, or tail, he could really tell.

That should be "couldn't".

It’s really hot outside, and I need to cool myself down”

He couldn’t do anything, but to wait for a miracle.

I would delete that "to" and that comma.

Oh, my. I look like I went to Everfree forest.”

This happens twice, but there should be a "the" before "Everfree".

Discord already passed out, when Fluttershy has entered the bathroom.

I suggest adding "had" before "already" and deleting the comma.

He was moving as much as he could to loosen himself, which prooved succesful.

Those should be "proved" and "successful".

He was falling through the forest of her mane with huge speed.

I think it would be better if it were "at high speed".

Luckly, when he did, he landed inside rug, which made his fall much less painful.

First, that should be "Luckily", and this is an error that gets repeated later. And second, I suggest adding an "a" before "rug".

Discord was trying got move through the forest, but the bristles were too thick to move fast.

That should be "to" and I suggest adding "through"after the second "move" and replacing "fast" with quickly.

Fluttershy was meanwhile in shower cleaning herself and he needed to get her attention.

I recommend changing that to "Meanwhile, Fluttershy was in the shower, cleaning herself. Discord knew he had to get her attention."

After long minutes of forcing his was throuhg the rug forest, Discord managed to finally step on the cold white floor.

That should be "through" and I think you should add "several" before "long".

He barely dodged them, few on them hit him, leaving him confused for a few moments.

I recommend changing that to "He could barely dodge them at first, but then a few of them hit him, leaving him dazed for a few moments."

After many and many minutes of pushing away cloth of the towel, Discord managed to free himself and he run toward the gap under the door.

I would replace the first "and" with a comma, add a "the" before "cloth", and replace "and" and run" with "before" and "ran".

When she couldn’t find him, Fluttershy decied to take a nap on the couch.

That should be "decided".

When the reached the couch on which she was sleeping, he climbed blanket which reached on the floor.

I would replace "the" with "he", "on which she was sleeping" with "that she was sleeping on", and add "on a" before "blanket".

After the climbing, he was close to her ear, and he started shouting her name with all might he could pull out of himself, but it was useless.

I suggest changing that to "After the climb, he was close to her ear. He then started shouting her name with all his might, but it was useless."

He couldn’t get her attention in no way.

That should be "any".

He will never be heard. He will end up as a food for one of the animals, or a tiny, unnoticeable stain under her hoof.

I suggest changing both instances of "will" to "would".

“Hellou there, *yawn*, Mrs. Ladybug, why did you tickle my hoof?” Ladybug then flew on her muzzle and she just was there. “Oh, there is someone I need to see? On the floor? Please, show me, if you want”

"Hellou" should be "Hello", I strongly recommend add a "the" before "Ladybug" and replacing was with "stayed".

Fluttershy then stood up from from the couch, which made Discord lose him balance and fall on the ground.

You should delete the repeated "from" and change "him" to "his".

“Discord? Is that you? How did you get so small? Here”

Discord told her what happened and then, Fluttershy said,

I would delete that comma.

Discord wasn’t exactly happy to ask somepony to help, but he had no choice, otherwise he will be forever nothing more that an insect under the hooves of gigantic ponies, only to be stepped on.

That should be "than".

“Now, Now, Discord. If you won’t mind, I would love to have some fun with you”

She then raised her hooves, walking around the room, Discord trying to dodge them.

I suggest changing that to "She then raised her hooves and walked around the room, with Discord trying to dodge them."

Discord just barely hold onto imperfection on the floor, the strong current making his arms sore.

That should be "held", and you should add an "an" before "imperfection".

He couldn’t take it anymore, and he let himself fall into her nose.

Considering what's happening there, that should probably be "be pulled towards".

But before that could happen, Fluttershy moved her mane to catch Discord and effectively trapping him there.

I think that should be "trapped".

“I’m sorry, Discord, I always wanted to try this, but if you feel about what just happened, It’s okay if you think I’m weird.”

I think there are some words missing. I think that should be "but if you feel mad about what just happened, I'm sorry, and it's okay if you think I'm weird."

Discord look confused at first as to why did she do it, but then he remembered, that everybody has a weird side inside, even Discord.

I suggest deleting those.

He returned the hug, catching every individual strands of her fur.

That should be "strand".

“Now Discord, you wanted to have a nap, you can have it with me, if that’s okay with you”

[McProky]

5637004
Thank you very much for it. I didn't expect it so detailed :D

[Aerin Silverfeather]

It's not my kind of story and I'm not going to read it but It seems good enough so have a like