[HARMONIC SUPPORTER DETECTED ON HIVE SOIL. LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED.]
Sweetie Belle wants to learn a new language, so she chooses Changeling. But everyone- and I mean everyone, wants her to forget she even thought of it. But something happens in Canterlot, and the CMC have to tag along. But what happens leaves everyone in shock.
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This seems like it is going to be an interesting story! (In a good way!) Good job!
interesting idea, needs some polishing, but you have caught my attention!
Very interesting storyline!
My only criticism is your paragraphing is a bit unusual. Additionally, in my honest opinion, I would have the Griffin language be either German or French.
Since the zebra originates from Africa, I suggest using an African language instead of Japanese. I recommend Swahili. (Behind the scenes, they wanted Zecora to speak Swahili, but they didn't have the funds to hire a professional Swahili translator, so they just told her voice actor, Brenda Crichlow, to wing it!)
Since Changelings are said not to be native to Equestria, I suggest using a language that is highly unusual. Your proposition for Zebra, Japanese, can do here. Or, if you'd like, I can provide Kēlen translations for you.
As a linguistics junkie, you have my favorite! Let's see where this goes!
This, ladies and gentlemen, was my parents' reaction to my decision to speak Albanian.
6119307 lol yea that was funny
Interesting. I know that if I were a pony, I'd be fascinated by changelings and would take any opportunity to study and learn more about them. Sweetie is right to want to learn to speak Changeling.
Ooh, interesting start. This could use some polish, but I love the concept thus far!
That's all i could think of when I read the last few lines.
Im surprised you are not ponifying everything. I suppose that makes it easier to write this story. Following.
Pony=American.
Hehe.
A cute little beginning, would like to see where this goes.
That was dramatically short.
6120781
What was? The story? It's not over.
Oh, you mean this Chapter? I'm a concise writer, I guess.
6122345 Sorry, all that chapters are dramatically short for me its not enough even for one full chapter, its not even 1,5k words uhh
6120470
I should probably add the anthro tag...
6119506
My man! Or woman...
I'm glad you see it the same way as I do. Equestrian's revolve around kindness and understanding. So why do they act racist?
6119263
I would have taken it as a compliment anyway. Thank you!
6119369
Interesting. Do you speak Albanian now?
This story is actually based on something that happened. I told my parents I wanted to speak German. I just felt like I should learn a foreign language! My parents didn't react like the way yours did, though. They just thought that Germany had kind of a dark history, you know? I'm actually allowed to learn it now, but since I live in Canada, I noticed it wouldn't get me anywhere. French and English are the two main languages.
I hope you don't mind me asking but, what happened between you and Albania?
Don't tell me if it's personal.
6119307
I'm pretty sure her mother face hoofed herself in her mind.
6122449
Nothing happened. I've never even been to Albania!
I simply picked it up because I wanted something unusual, yet familiar. I could've gone with Irish, Welsh, Esperanto (which I inadvertently learned as well), or Armenian. So I flipped the coin in my head, and went with Albanian.
And to answer your question: Po, unë flas Shqip tani. A ju?
My parents are more interested in the languages that are practical in my area (English and Spanish), but my school paper published a language project that showed just how diverse my school is. We found Croatian, Gujarati, Japanese-- all kinds of stuff!
So, anyway, that's why my parents are opposed to Albanian. (I'm just damned grateful they don't know about the gjakmarrja. . . .)
This story looks interesting, lets see were it takes us. Also, like Chicago Ted said you might want to change the languages for the species, it makes more sense like he said.
Found a couple of small errors:
It should be mother's.
Misplaced the apostrophe there, it should go before the R.
Also, people have come up with a ponified version of the languages like Prench(French) and Neighponese(Japanese), but I can't remember the Russian equivalent right now. Just putting this out there in case you want to use them.
Liked the chapter, specially this part:
6122407
I detected no anthro hints... I was talking about ponifying concepts and names, such as using Prance and Germaneigh, and otherwise avoiding direct 1:1 connections between pony culture history with human culture history, such as simply copy pasting german culture history onto the changelings.
6122609
Thanks for the feedback. A lot of people seem to like that part, for some reason.
6119360
Agreed and seconded.
The paragraphing is distracting and confusing. Is it a deliberate stylistic choice?
Guess whose story made the popular list.
I'm not terribly interested in this, however -
Just as a friendly sort of criticism, this part of your description caught my eye. It's rather weak, grammatically and dramatically.
For instance, "something" literally tells us absolutely nothing. It isn't even titillating. We don't even know what the effect of that something was.
The second sentence is especially bad in this regard. So the thing that left everyone in shock was not the "something" that happened in the first sentence?
6122472
Just translated. And no, I don't speak German.
Or Shaqip... I used Google Translate. As you probably know, it's a bit wonky.
6127097
It is wonky, isn't it?
Shqip is the autonym for the Albanian language. Google Translate thinks it means "English" (though I haven't seen it say it means German). "English" in Albanian is anglisht.
6127111
Ah.
Did you mean to ask me if I speak Shaqip? I don't. Neither do I speak German.
God, this is getting confusing!
6127178
Okay. Lemme clear this up.
English = English
Deutsch = German
Shqip = Albanian
Therefore, I mentioned, "Yes, I speak Albanian now. Do you?"
6127184
Okay, okay. I get it now.
This seems like an alright story, and I'll give it a thumbs up, but I probably won't be following it. It doesn't seem quite deep enough for the concept it's bringing up. Maybe longer chapters would help.
6122893
no need for capitalization there.
same and remove the apostrophe.
Don't these have pony gimmicks? Like... Neighponese?
Also in my mind the changeling language is the Greek one. HERP DERP I'm Greek! :P
6127240
You mean appealed to her? Appaled is the opposite of appealed.
Eeer why not add quotations when changing the person speaking? This is a dream right?
Actually I understand that you need to mane allusions to real life stuff but it's suggested to make pony gimmicks leaving the allusions explained in the author notes.
Interesting story. No really... despite it being short I like it. If you want to merge the chapters into one that would be best though.
Wait, American? Never heard of that language
6139523
Yeah, I guess people from other countries call it "american".
6123170
*Fist Pump*
6122609
Thanks for the feedback, and for Russian...
Trussian?
Trut+Russian=Trussian.
The only thing I see wrong with the story is that it lacks detail. I do like the idea and concept of the story, though, and I'm enjoying the idea of it, but I think it could use a higher word count per chapter... Other then that I hope to read more of it.
I think with more details and a higher word count it could be a much better story overall. Perhaps add a bit more conflict, I'd like to see Sweetie hiding it from her family in different ways and maybe getting help from other ponies to learn Changeling.
Its just my thoughts... I hope that they give you some ideas.
Wudent zebras be African?