Twilight x Flash and a bunch of other ships and my real name is Diamond Melody but someone took that
Sweetie Belle is starting to change herself and her world, thinking she's loser after a confrontation with Tiara. Spike is starting to wonder what is the meaning of life because he never can bedazzle Rarity. Suddenly these two become closer and their troubles melt away as Spike shows Sweetie she's perfect just the way she is.
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Okay, I love Sweetie Spike as much as the next shipper, but your grammar is horrible. Don't take this too hard, but you really need to edit, lengthen, and slow this down before you continue. There is help everywhere, invest in it. l won't like or dislike mainly because it was a good story just hard to read.
I'm going to have to agree with 5687388. This story needs a lot of help. I like the idea, but it's hard for me to read.
Don't be hatin' Sweetie Belle.
The spark of love commence!!!
Spike got the paper towels and walked up to Spike ?????????
5687573
Exactly why I said that the grammar needs a lot of work. It's a great story though.
5687388
More time spent on details isn't a bad idea, either.
I agree with them. This is a good start with possibilities but you need to flesh it out more, get an editor and just make sure it's fully ready to be presented because this has a lot of potential here.
It's a good idea but it needs work. First an foremost you really need an editor.
Second it needs better flushing out and more detail in terms of how the characters feeling.
Finally there are few things that are glossed over that need a lot of flushing out. The big one is Twilight telling Spike Rarity isn't interested in him. Another is what exactly Twilight was inspecting for safety when she found Sweetie.
Okay, why did no one react to Diamond doing that?
Hmm, well, we'll see won't we?
Awww poor Sweetie Belle, but um when did this fight happen exactly? I wouldn't think of Sweetie to be a pony to get in a fight. Good idea though, I must however agree with everyone else on the improvements but hay a really badly edited story got me to love the spikebelle ship in the first place, not that your fic is badly edited. Great fic idea, flesh it out a bit that's basically it. Also congratulations your fic got more views, likes and comments than the one I started yesterday. I'M NOT GELOUSE!
Needs to be alittle longer too
hmmm I don't know about this, its a tad confusing. Why is Sweetie suddenly acting like this, it isn't like her even if she has been pressured and the end part seems a little rushed. But hay I'm going to stick around and see were this is heading.
5836696
It's actually not that surprising in my opinion. Considering that people are very adaptive creatures, just like the ponies, their minds are used to sudden change. Being bullied could have left such mental trauma on sweetie that it acted as a stressed, causing her to feel a need to change/adapt
5837031
thanks like the story so far
Tell me he did not just do that!!!!
5837031 I suppose, maybe something like this could have happened to earlier Sweetie Belle, I cant imagine her acting like this in the more recent seasons, but maybe seasons 1 and 2.
5838830
Fair point
... You can't just order what you want and expect to get it. If Spike had even an idea of how she was acting, he'd refuse and say he might consider it with Sweetie Belle, but she isn't the pony standing in front of him.
Hmm I like it a lot!
I'm gonna wait, patiently of course
Good job, just hope you start it up again soon!