- Member Since 7th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 20th, 2022
Yamazaki
An attic dwelling animator who decided to start writing pony fanfics. Let's see how this plays out.
Yamazaki
Joined 7th Sep, 2013 ·
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My only regret is that I can't downvote this again
5625332 ill downvote it for you
Wow. Don't really understand why this is getting downvoted to hell. It's pretty standard BDSM clop, it's decently written, Rarity as a dom and Fluttershy as a sub is perfectly acceptable...
Not really my cup of tea, so I'm not leaving an upvote or tracking, but I just wanted to say that I for one don't think the downvotes on this story are justified. At all.
Well, it's not as bad as one'd think from the rating. I mean, it hardly makes sense, but still it's slightly better and less contrived than most of the clopfics on this site. The prose is a bit telly and awkward at times, but it's rather gramatically sound, though I noticed one persistent error:
"she" shouldn't be capitalised here.
I guess the biggest problem and the cause of the downvotes is the title. The audience won't react well to the story which right at the beginning states that Fluttershy, the cutest kawaii moe character in the show will be abused here. It's like painting a target on your chest.
I think it's mostly the title.
5625428
What you said.
I like it. Decent, though could've been better, submissive Fluttershy for some reason not often seen in clopfics. Slow paced reading. Different activities . I do hope for some anal and double penetration, and maybe watersports. Spanking is good too.
P good. Not worth it's downvotes, but I guess the title itself is a downvote magnet for the innocent minds of the standard fimfic user.
No.
5625428
TIL that emotional abuse and rape is equivalent to 'Rarity as a dom and Fluttershy as a sub'.
If there is actual consent behind this and it's some elaborate role play, there has been absolutely no foreshadowing of such.
5625444
Yeah no, that's not what's going on here.
5625444 Are you sure the capital letter in 'she' wasn't necessary? I thought capital letters always go after question marks.
And about the title, I thought it might be controversial. But sometimes I forget that some people don't enjoy the idea of Fluttershy being abused in a fanfic quite as much as I do.
5625579 Those things are all good. Perhaps in part 2.
5626265 Yep, there's no consent here. It's a fanfic about Fluttershy being raped in a BDSM-ey sort of way, and rapefics aren't to everybody's taste
5626351
Only if it's a proper noun. A lot of people make this mistake.
Correct:
"Would you like another donut?" she asked.
Incorrect:
"Would you like another donut?" She asked.
5626533 Alright, I'll correct it.
5626533
5626556
The essential question behind this rule is whether the question mark is taking the place of a comma or a period in the context of normal dialogue. For example, consider:
"Where are you going?" she asked.
Versus:
"Where are you going?" She gazed downwards, almost physically unable to meet my gaze in that moment.
Both segments are grammatically correct, because "she asked" in the first is a continuation of the quotation, while in the second version, that sentence is entirely independent of the dialogue. In this sense, the first quote's question mark could be better considered a combination question mark and comma, while the second quote's is more like a traditional question mark. Notably, the same rule applies in the case of exclamation marks in dialogue.
5626556
5626642 This is why people get confused, overcomplicated explanations like that. Let me break it down for you and make it easier to understand:
If a pronoun or article begins a separate, complete sentence, it should be capitalized. Attribution attached to a quotation is not a separate, complete sentence, and therefore pronouns/articles at the beginning of an attribution that follows a quotation should not be capitalized.
5626741 I guess that works also. I tend to just think of it the other way.
Thou shalt burn for this.
Any clue as of when part 2 will be out?
5627509 As of now, I don't know.
Worth downvoting, because the premise is flawed. If what I have been told is true, 'rape' is the exact opposite of BDSM.
If I could downvote for a year I would.
5628228 BDSM can be consensual, and often is. However it's not consensual in this fanfic, so here it does count as rape.
Actually, I've been led to understand it's not optional. If it isn't safe, sane and consentual it's not actually BDSM. It's just a bad attempt at excusing sexual violence. The "Reefer Madness" of kinky culture.
5628251
5628906 Oh, okay then.
I don't wanna read it now. That title is making me sad.
Whelp. This was pretty good. You may as well judge the Downs as UPs as nothing beats a Fluttershy going DOWN on you.
Premise: Fluttershy got caught masturbating to a mare on mare magazine when apparently, in a short exposition, Rarity trots in on her. That leads to Fluttershy doing random 'favors' like doing something embarrassing that only gets used for worst blackmail to get more of what she wants from Fluttershy.
With Rarity using blackmail to fulfill Fluttershy's fantasies, more her own, Flutter is forced to deal with her moral conscience as Rarity puts her through the ringer with her Dominatrix power tripping over the meek and all too mentally reluctant Fluttershy as she battles with her body's primal urges and the heinous acts Rarity is forcing on Fluttershy.
Rarity knows Fluttershy's body wants it. But the real story is in how Fluttershy is feeling. Just because the sex is good or you're made to get used to it, doesn't mean it won't make you feel like shit. And that's what the story feels so far. Shaming and abusing Fluttershy, who'll likely have to live with her less than ideal way of how she wanted things to be.
In closing: It's basically just prudes who dislike anything that isn't sunshine and rainbows. Story is an easy 4 out of 5 stars. So far. Chapter 2 will make or break it. I'd say the story moves a little fast during the acts, but you hardly notice and otherwise pretty solid.
5630876 Thanks for your kind words! I just hope you weren't giving too much away to people who haven't read it yet in that comment. :P
People often forget that there are two buttons here: Upvote and Downvote. Not Upvote and 'Fluttershy is sacred don't touch her you disgust me'. Not Upvote and 'I don't like the title therefore the fic is terrible and you should feel terrible'. Our community was always known as being open-minded and accepting. We were able to judge others based on their work, not on our perception of it. Downvoting should be restricted to things that are genuinely bad, as well as upvoting to things that are genuinely good. You are given the power to vote -- please, treat it with respect and caution.
Laughing at everyone downvoting without reading.
I like the theme and all, since there really isn't enough BDSM RariShy pairings, but the writing is too cumbersome to read. Keep improving your writing skills, you've mostly got the story down, just work on getting the writing to flow more coherently and smoothly and you'll be golden.
Okay wow.
I don't like BDSM, I don't want to read this, but judging by the comments, it isn't actually a "bad" story, as in, it's not some kid going "Sex!11@" so for the sake of equality, I shall up vote this story!
Also, I agree with Kaze_no_saga
Not exactly my type of fic, but it doesn't deserve so many downvotes. That may come from how mean Rarity is being to Fluttershy, as it's been established that they're already best friends, so she wouldn't do something like this. Yet, it was decently written, so that's a plus.
I can't upvote this, but I won't downvote it either. Keep writing, hun.
5643864
your community is just like any other community, get over yourself.
I LIKE this!! I agree, it doesn't deserve the downvotes. I don't understand why people read sex stories and get offended, Good job. Upvote from ME
5643864 well said. But it will NEVER happen...someone ALWAYS has to be an asshole.
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troll.me/images/spiderman-faggots/look-at-all-these-faggots.jpg
6080325 i.imgur.com/Sb1eDh2.jpg
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polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=76142048
6080325 If you're making a list people acting vapid, why aren't you on that list?
5630876 So disliking blackmail and rape makes someone a prude now? If that's the way you feel, then maybe it's you with the problem. I have nothing against BDSM so long as it's consensual. If someone not getting hot from acts that could only ever adequately be called "true evil in its purest form" makes someone a prude to you, then I feel you really need to re-evaluate your philosophies.
Dude, please part 2!
6177640 One of these days.
The vote count has been balanced, 70:70.
5643864
> Our community was always known as being open-minded and accepting.
U fockin wot m8, it started on 4chan!
wat
I don't like it when bad things happen to Fluttershy.
I am sorry, but for now I am going to have to down vote this. The story its self is well written, but my major problem with it is the way your story its self is written, seams to be incorrectly suggesting that what is going on in this scene is BDSM rather than simply rape which is what it actually is. A second chapter rectifying this would change my vote, but so long as stories like these continue to promote the misconception that rape can ever be BDSM, and therefore risk endangering real people, I am going to have to down vote this for content.
I do have to thank you.
I hate fashion-horse already and your fic only fueled my rage.
It was well written too.