- Member Since 11th Feb, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
Stoned while writing
Tryhard wannabe fiction writer
Stoned while writing
Joined 11th Feb, 2015 ·
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Its really good!
I hope for a short sequel where Twilight is much older, and while reading a book in the library, is reminded of that time, so confronts Celestia.
Pretty good but could've been more descriptive and more of a reaction from twilight but otherwise still great
I liked it. A lot.
5619845
I just might do that if I manage to find time to write this week. If not, it will probably come out next week.
5623946
I thank you for the fair criticism.
The thing you said about the execution, what should I improve? Should I improve overall as a writer, or in something specific that I could try to fix right now?
5624273
Thank you, I'll be keeping those in mind from now on.
Twilight didn't even care. I mean, damn. Otherwise... nice?
Hot. Please write more.
This wasn't bad...but it was kind of...ehh...boring, I suppose. I think Dr. Death put it into good perspective.
Well you asked for harsh.
Pros
1. Interesting concept that makes it worth reading once
2. Twilight
3. Foalcon
Cons
1. Too short
2. Magical phallus providing feeling
3. magical phallus cumming inside an anus
4. Twilight gets her anus filled for the first time ever, yet doesn't make a sound
5. inside a sauna at a public spa in the largest city in Equestria, yet nobody hears anything
6. Twilight, the most studious mare in all Equestria, knows that a topic exists and purposely avoids studying it.
I rate this story a 3 out of 5.
I agree that it's definitely lacking in a lot areas, but something I particularly enjoyed was the description of Celestia's thrusting, that is part of what makes this worth it despite the flaws, for me at least.
bruh, just...bruh.
Does anyone else want us to have a sequel
First fic? God nothing to harshly judge. Good grammar and oh my Celestia! "Her Twilight" did things for my cunt I wasnt expecting. A slower start on anal as going from virgin to penetration would definitely rip a woman let alone a girl apart. Maybe start with a rim job (since fingering isn't a thing) and I was expecting a dildo honestly not a cock, but that's just my open thoughts. I 100% masturbated to this and definitely got off. -a mare