Tales of a Brighton Phoenix

by The Stainmore Phoenix

21

Well, luck is a double edged sword. My luck with Luna was golden, but my luck with the Headless Quarters of the Army was shit. They seemed to be more interested with their own career then they did the practical defenses of Equestria. Their motto-Fuck the troops and get ahead.

“Should we complain to our captain?” Lyra asked.

“Nah,” Cloud Chaser said.

I had been waiting and listening, when we were summoned up to see the royals.

“Well, looks like we're airing our grievances whether we like it or not,” I said.

We made our way up to the Day Court room and there were the royals and the staffers of HQ. Once the door was shut, Sombra spoke up.

“We are holding this to improve the forces,” he said. “Speak up, and le.....”

“YOU TALK TO US!” One of the generals thundered, thumping the table.

He was ignored.

“Come now,” Luna said.

Lyra started and as she finished, another one picked up and it continued. The Air Conditioners started to bitch and moan, trying to shut us up. We watched the faces of all the royalty began to harden into rage. When we finished, they sent us out and told us to go to on vacation.

“We should thank them sometime,” Maelstrom said.

“Agreed,” we agreed.

For holiday, we went to Horseshoe Bay. Let's just say, it was a relaxing period of time. When we came back, we stared at the town, smouldering and tons of buildings looking like a bunch of deranged wildlife went at them with a fury unseen.

“What happened?” Cumulus asked.

“Parasprites happened,” Applejack replied.

I looked at the mess and then over at a ball of pocket lint with large eyes. It smiled, trying to win over the gang. Skyla and Flurry looked over at an instrument clad Pinkie.

“Gonna detail your plan?” Flurry asked.

In response, Pinkie took and began to play, leading the pests out of the way. I turned to see the rest of the mane six.

“Okay, there better be a good explanation for this,” I said. “Because if there isn't one, well, we're screwed.”

“Talk to Fluttershy,” Rarity hissed.

“Lemme guess, she found one, and called it cute?” Skyla quizzed.

“Yes,” came the sore retort.

“Okay, I can't blame her,” Flurry said.

“You've got some screws loose,” Rarity huffed.

“And your head's not screwed on properly,” Skyla shot back. “Fluttershy saw them as cute and since your library has no information on them, she wasn't to know about their peculiarities.”

“Golden Oaks has a book with one page on them!” Twilight shot back.

“That's not enough,” I countered. “In order to fully understand them, there needs to be at least 17 books on the subject.”

“That's too much!” Twilight jolted.

“Not really,” Flurry pointed out. “The College library I practically live in has well over 90 books on Parasprites and their peculiarities.”

Twilight's face became one of cartoonish delight. Her eyes went wide and her jaw hung low. Flurry giggled softly.

“No need to look like something out of a cartoon,” she said. “Come on, we'll fix it.”

Twilight had to be carried back to her library. Once inside and getting a good look, I could see just how tiny it was. Another thing is that the library is in a giant tree and all the health and safety committees would have a field day.

“Well, rest up and wait,” Flurry said.

Twilight nodded. We went out and set to work fixing the mess. Supplies had to be brought up by rail and from there, we had to use tools and magic to get the town repaired before any Princesses, Prince or King visited.

I spent the day completely overhauling several houses and paying for new furniture while the others handled refurbishing businesses and public places. Of course, it couldn't be helped that the group I was with was agitated. This on top of the idiots in high commands (Barring Sombra, a sane mind) was enough to bring out the worst in everyone.

“How close to done are you?” I called over.

“Nearly there!” Flurry yelled.

“That doesn't help!” I called back. “I need a time? Or are you not going to give any ETA's on how it's going?”

“Try two and a half hours!” came Skyla's reply.

“Thanks, Two and a half!” I called back.

I smiled softly and finished working on the projects I was assigned to. It seemed to be forever but I soon had the finishing touches done. Suddenly, the sun was blotted out and we looked up to see three chariots.

“Well, we're toast,” I heard someone say

They landed and the top brass royalty stepped out and began to inspect everything. Celestia smiled and turned around.

“I must say, I am rather impressed,” she said. “They have skills that I wish we possessed ourselves.”

I raised a brow until it was explained that the royal courts forbid any of them to do anything outside their duties.

“That's kind of dickish,” Tintin pointed out. “Versatility is a great asset.”

“But they don't recognize versatility as a good thing,” Luna pointed out.

Okay, that's the most dangerous mindset to ever have. Saying Versatility is evil or something disgusting is like saying having a specialist is a bad thing. So instead of complaining about it, we shall move on to my new uptake-Training crews on how to work on a steam locomotive.

Luna and I walked down to the yard, where I got the world biggest heart attack-A LNWR G2 “Super D” 0-8-0 stood there. I smiled and watched several Ponies, Diamond Dogs, Gryphons, Hippogryphs and changelings complain about not being able to drive the loco.

“Shall I?” I asked Luna

She nodded. The two of us walked over and climbed into the cab. A Changeling joined us to fire on the test journey. I chuckled and wound the reverser backwards.

“You've put it in reverse!” he snapped.

“Just wait and see,” I said.

I “shut” the regulator and the loco moved forward, the traditional off clanking and beat of the Joy Valvegear ringing out.

“How....” Luna began.

“These engines are very peculiar. One, everything is backwards on these locos; two, they have different sized injectors, making the task of getting water into the boiler a painful task. The reason for the different size injectors, they were designed by Francis Webb.”

“Damn,” was all the Changeling could say

We worked the engine to the iron ore mine outside Dodge City and return the train back to the iron ore smelting pit, where it would be cleaned and the impurities shipped off. Once done, the Changeling gave me the dirtiest look ever.

“You are the damnedest prince out there,” he snarled. “You don't tell us about this engine, and then show us up!”

“It's not my fault,” I said.

He snorted and stormed off. Luna just stared as I chuckled. On cue, Inkwell and Echo came up and had to raise brows.

“The less you know, the better,” I said.

“It takes a lot to piss off railway crews,” Echo pointed out. “Yet you did it.”

“So how'd you manage that?” Inkwell demanded.

“With this baby, the London and North Western Railway G2 0-8-0,” I said at last.

They stared before laughing.

“That's gotta be funny,” Echo giggled. “A steam engine pissing them off.”

“You'd be pissed off if you tried to drive this thing and found all the controls were backwards!” snapped a changeling.

After some more feelings were smoothed over, we went our separate ways, hoping to see what the next day brought us.