Tales of a Brighton Phoenix

by The Stainmore Phoenix

17

Well, I can't check into any mental facility. They're full and I'm clinically sane. So now, onto all the hell in Equestria starting with the marriage. It was planned six months in advance, following the news we had a sister in college mom hadn't bothered to tell us about until now-Flurry Heart. Yeah, yeah, I know, but hey, it's the way things are here, not in the TV Show. Things have to make sense in fiction, but not in reality and since this is a reality I'm recording, expect things to not make sense.

Enough on that, onto getting into deep and boiling oil. It was a summer night and we had been stabled on rotation with the Solar guard, who were giving us no end of trouble. That morning, I received a letter saying Flurry would be coming to visit us. Of course, we hadn't provoked these idiots, but they decided that because they are superior because they're solar guards and picked by Celestia herself.

“You have no skills in being a guard,” a peon named Golden Rayz snorted, looking down.

“Also, quit playing at being an Alicorn, batboy,” another snorted.

I was about to retort when Celestia walked in.

“Enough,” she said. “I chose you to be Solar Guards because of your physical prowess and talents, not your egos.”

They grumbled under their breaths as another figure appeared. I saw it was yet another Alicorn (surprise surprise) with a light pink coat and a crystalized rainbow mane and a very soft smile. Celestia turned.

“Oh, hello Flurry,” she said. “You here to apply for the guard force?

“No, I'm here to visit my siblings,” she said.

Celestia nodded. Flurry trotted over to me and Skyla.

“Hello you two,” she said.

“Hello Flurry,” Skyla replied. “How's college?”

“Kicking my ass,” she said. “then again, when your a studying Pharmacist, you'd be expect to have a load of homework.”

“True,” Skyla said. “Western Brass over there is a home call Doctor and she was in med school for a good 8 years.”

“Yeesh,” she said. “Mom and Dad are deeply considering moving me over to being either a lawyer or a business owner.”

“I don't blame them,” I said. “They want what's best for their family.”

“Pussies,” another Solar Guard snapped, apparently overhearing the conversation.

Celestia turned and faced the guard. What I wouldn't pay to see the death glare coming from her eyes. I could see the guard diving under an imaginary table.

“I will see you in my office at 9:00 tonight, Captain Solarstorm,” she snarled.

I watched her walk away, leaving everyone bewildered.

“This I did not expect,” Arachnus said.

I chuckled. Flurry just shook her head. The rest were in a deafening silence.

“Well, where can I stay for the night?” Flurry asked.

“Borrow my bed,” Arctic Blast said. “I won't be using it as I'm going to be swimming in paperwork.

She bid him farewell. I showed her to the room and she laid down in the bed. I returned and assigned everyone into pairs-One Solar and one Lunar Guard to make sure everything worked smoothly.

“You have confidences that things will go well,” A NCO named Reflective Light said.

“No, I have every confidence things will blow up in my face,” I replied. “Usually it'll be prefaced with 'It's all going right'.”

He chuckled. I also chuckled.

“I can't wait to see this in action,” he continued. “It sounds like a party in the barracks.”

The image of everyone here partying here in the barrack had to make me laugh. Once returning to my normal serious demeanor, I gave orders and let them go to town. Once they were out to time the rotations, I went to my office with Reflective Light.

“I want to apologize for those recruits and newly recruited members behaviors,” he said. “They do not reflect the values of the sol.....” he began, but I waved it away.

“I don't want to hear an apology,” I said. “What they need is a good amount of shit detail and other unpleasant duties to drill it into their skulls that you don't do something stupid. One advice I can give is that does not go onto their permanent records.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“Do you want to ruin careers and make enemies?” I asked.

“You are delusional,” he snorted.

“No, a realist,” I said.

He growled and stormed out. I sighed.

“Young Idiot,” I thought.

Tomorrow's a new day.