• Member Since 1st Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Fullmetal_Pony


I love me a good Sombra fic.

T

King Sombra returns retakes the Crystal Empire and captures the main 6 and that's just the beginning.


Warning: implied rape.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 9 )

Alright this is my first story and I hope it goes well. If there is any errors please point them out so I can make corrections or if there are any different/missing tags you think I should use. I appreciate any helpful feed back you can give and if you pitch me something I like I just might use it.:twilightsmile:

No! Not Fluttershy! :fluttercry:

“No way, it’s been over thousand years since the last time I bedded a mare and I’ve waited too long for this to back down now. So let’s begin shall we.”

I need an adult!

The plot is fascinating, for sure. However, it is rushed, there are bits of "telling instead of showing," and the ending doesn't have the sense of finality. That said, I'm a sucker for Sombra stories and enjoyed this one. I'm getting the sense that there will be a sequel. All in all, not bad for your first outing.

5612569
Damn you Sombra you took her innocents. And I didn't just throw that in there for the hell of it, it is important to the plot.
5612594
Thank you and there will be a sequel. Also I'm a tad confused when it comes to telling and showing.

Comment posted by Fullmetal_Pony deleted Feb 11th, 2015

I always dislike it when obvious plot holes are left. By that I mean, by Sombra Betraying Silver, and not IMMEDIATELY executing him...what was going to happen was Obvious....

I actually rather like the "implied rape" though I wonder if I will ever find a writer willing to write a story where Sombra actually triumphs

Just too short for anyone who likes to dedicativly read.

I'm...not going to lie, this wasn't the best quality fanfiction. Grammatical and spelling mistakes, bad characterisation, obvious rushing, pacing errors, and plot holes to be sure. It had a good premise with some potential to be sure, but I felt it was wasted. The biggest issue was Silver and Daisy... I'm supposed to root for these guys, even though Daisy's personality consists of one bullet point that says "wuvs Silver" and Silver was first introduced as a traitor? And Silver dies, but then he doesn't? No wonder he doesn't have any armour on... He had to use his plot armour to save himself.

Great ending, though.

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