Those who see a different kind of Light

by Lazydrill

Means to Ascend.

Means to Ascend.

The door shut gently behind the pegasus, leaving him alone to ascend the tower of the Night Guardian. He was standing in what appeared to be a spiraling staircase, most likely leading directly to the upper room in the tower. Fog was shaking lightly, slight fear for the unknown and uncertainty for what was awaiting him one he reached the upper part of the tower. Taking a deep breath through his nostrils, and letting it out through his mouth, he gathered calmness and courage. Lifting his right hoof from the ground, he brought it back down again on the first step of the spiraling stairs.

Ascending the stairs was... strange. While going up, the walls were empty of everything, except for the occasional blue enchanted fire torch and a window every few steps, illuminating the walls with the moon's and star's rays of guiding light. It brought an empty feeling, something he couldn't explain, it was strange to know that you would be meeting a Princess in a few seconds, while not feeling anything, while at the bottom of the stairs, he felt tensed and unsure.

"...Why do I feel so... empty? I don't feel anything... no warmed, no cold, no air, not even any emotion... only the drive to continue ascending the tower and meet Princess Luna. But why is this?"

It was difficult to even think about what was happening. Fog was beginning to doubt if this was a good idea, maybe he should go back? Maybe this was a mistake? Maybe he should descend the stairs and leave the castle and go back to his old life... No. He was going to meet the Princess, no matter how he felt, he would need to push through this, he needed to push passed the odd sense of emptiness, and focus on what he promised to his loved ones.

His loved ones... His family... There are ponies who say that those close to you never truly leave you behind. Fog wasn't certain about that, but he wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe that his parents and his sister would be forever at his side, and maybe, just maybe, they are... but he just doesn't know that. But it is also something that pained him more... To know that they would see him doing all the things he did since their demise, just to try and stay alive, to live from day to day, for what? Nothing. Just trying to avoid death, while further doing nothing.

Despite these negative thoughts that floated around deep in his mind, he found solace in the fact that he would be able to make them proud. He would be able to get their forgiveness for all the bad things he had done in the recent years, and maybe... just maybe... he would finally be able to forgive himself for it all.

How does somepony find forgiveness in him or herself when nopony else can forgive them? When they are not worth the forgiveness of others, how can they forgive themselves for their crimes? They cannot. Fog had been giving the opportunity to grab somepony's hoof to held onto, somepony who would help him find forgiveness from others, and hopefully, himself. While it would still be a long road on the way of healing, he knew that if he would give it his all, he would be able to close this chapter of his life, and start a new chapter, with a blank page, a page that was not written for him, but written by him.

His mind was away from the present, but was unexpectedly brought back as his hoof stepped into thin air, making him gasp as he suddenly fell a bit towards the floor. Adrenalin pumped instantly through his body, his wings spread wide in instinct and he breathed heavily, only for him to notice that he had reached, what appeared to be the top floor of the tower. He looked around him, and it confirmed his assumption, there were no more stairs leading up, there was only a relatively large wooden door.

"...I guess I've arrived at the top of the tower. But... what now? Should I go in? Should I knock? Or should I wait here? I doubt I can just walk in there... It is the Princess' quarters after all, or... I think it might be..."

The pegasus sat down on his haunches, accepting his thoughts that it would be inappropriate to just walk in, or to knock on the door, and disturb the Princess in whatever she might be doing. Not long after he sat down, the door opened inward and two obsidian armored ponies stepped towards him. While their appearance was the same as of those he met downstairs, he noticed their helmets were... different. The helmets his brothers wore downstairs were more open around the muzzle, while these guards' helmets were completely surrounding the muzzle, with only a small horizontal gap were two piercing golden orbs could be seen looking through.

Seeing these guards sparked slight fear inside the pegasus, but also a sense of... Amazement? Respect? The guards stepped next to him and looked down on him. Even though Fog felt the slight fear from them... there was again that same feeling of trust he felt towards Onyx and the others downstairs, that they would protect him, even if they looked as fearsome as they did.

"...Brother, you don't have to fear us."

"We are glad to have you."

Their voices were deep and slightly echoing because of their closed helmets. The fear inside of Fog diminished by the tiniest bit by their words, but the appearance they kept still made him shake deep down. The guards looked at one another before glancing back at the shaking pegasus. The guard on Fog's right took gentle steps towards him and sat down. Fog glanced up at the guard with his ears halfway to the side. The guard lifted an armored hoof to Fog's shoulder and held it gently. Fog looked shortly to the cold touch of the armor before glancing back at the guard that held him.

"Come, brother. Don't be afraid, the Princess is expecting you."

"We'll stay here, next to the entrance. What she is about to say to you, is between you... and her."

Between him and her? What did he mean with that? He knew the Princess was expecting him, but why did he mention this? Fog thought about it for a bit, until the guard let go of his shoulder and stood up. The pegasus looked at him in confusion. The confusion did not last long however, the guard offered him his right hoof, most likely wanting him to grab it. Fog extended his left hoof slowly, and grabbed the hoof of the guard. The obsidian clad pony pulled firmly onto Fog's hoof, brining him to stand on three hooves again before releasing his hoof.

The guard mentioned with his right hoof to the door behind them. Fog gave a nod in conformation that he understood the meaning. He slowly made his way passed the guards and towards the door, only darkness visible beyond it. The guards took position next to the door, Fog standing in front of it. They didn't say anything as he stood there, they just... stood there, like they were petrified. Fog gulped lightly, taking a deep breath, he set his first step into the darkened room. As he traversed into the void, the doors shut gently behind him on its own.

But somehow, it didn't scare him, or made him jump in surprise. He now stood in darkness, nothing emitting any light. Fog glanced about, but couldn't see anything through the shadows. Not knowing where he was supposed to go, he sat gently down onto his haunches, closed his eyes, and breathed. Simply breathed. It was something he picked up in his foal years, a book that was called; The art of Silence and Solace. It peaked his curiosity, and the book explained deeply into the training of the body and soul. Meditating was one of the biggest and most common subject to be brought up in the book. It described that through meditating, ponies of all races could train their mind and soul, training them to relax and let go of negative thoughts, whit a steady and gentle breathing pattern that eased the body.

"Thou art meditation we see. Quite particular for a pony of thine age and race."

Fog opened his eyes, which went up slowly as a tall dark blue coated mare stood in front of him, her gentle voice sounding exactly the same as the shadow in his dream. Following her legs up to her chest, she wore a dark colored royal armored plate with a crescent moon in the middle. Going further up, he came eye to eye with nopony else than the Princess herself; Princess Luna.

Her eyes carried a pool of knowledge and understanding beyond his years, glistering as they glanced back at the frozen pegasus. He felt his mouth open slightly as he beheld the Guardian of the Night, her presence emitting gentle comfort and an aura of trust and patience. Fog sat in slight awe as he looked at the Princess, her transparent, dark blue and star glistering mane that moved gently on a wind he could not feel nor see, her welcoming smile as she looked back into his eyes. Fog stood up slowly and bowed deeply as he fully understood in which pony's presence he was.

"Thee may rise to thine hooves, mine child."

Fog rose slowly to his hooves, but he kept his gaze to the floor, not knowing if it would be rude to look into the Princess' eyes. His doubt was lifted, just like his chin as it was suddenly being held gently by a silver clad hoof, and lifted up to meet the Princess' gaze. Fog's eyes looked at the Guardian of the Night with mixed feelings, uncertainty being among the most apparent. His eyes locked with the moon lit eyes of Princess Luna, and he started to feel a sense of reassurance washing over him as she held his chin up. He started to feel strange, like there was somepony else with him, a second presence who was inside of him.

"We sense thine uncertainty and fear... Uncertainty of what would become of thou, fear of thine past and what thee have done. Thou art afraid of our judgment of thee, aren't thou, mine child?"

The soothing voice of the Princess echoed gently through his mind, as if it was played by an harmonious flute and a soft breeze in spring. Fog remained speechless as he listened to the echoing words of Princess Luna. She can sense his uncertainty and fear? And she was in his mind right now? What should he say? Should he say anything at all?

"Thou don't need to speak... thou need see the truth about thine self. We request of thee, may we hear of thine past through the voice of thee? While we know of thine past and what thou hast done, we request that thee would speak to us in thine own words what happened in those troublesome time thou faced."

She wanted him to tell her about his past in his own words? Why? She said herself she knew of his past and what he had done, so why ask him to tell it himself? Was this a test? Or did she just wanted to hear it coming from him? But he knew that sharing his past wouldn't help anypony in any way. He would rather keep it to himself and forget it, and try to find forgiveness for those things he had done, without bothering anypony with it. The past would only hurt more than it would do good if it was to be brought up.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Princess. But I don't want to tell it. It will not help anypony if I share it, it would only weigh upon other ponies' shoulders if they would know."

"We respect thine decision to not share it with us. But know, mine child, that thine past will only weigh down upon thine own shoulders when kept to thyself. Sharing the past with other ponies often helps thyself with time. Thy must know we speak the truth, for we kept our own past to ourselves when we returned a few years ago. Since then, we've had family and close friends to help us face our own past, and we haven't regretted it. If thee so desire, thou don't have to tell us. But we request of thee, that thee will share thy past with those who's thou feel close to. The ones that art closests to thee, will help thou face it, and accept it. Thou even may find forgiveness in thyself."

Fog thought about what Princess Luna said to him. A part of him doubted her words, but... on the other hoof... he somehow knew she was right about this. He would need to get it off of his chest someday, but that was something for in the future. For now, he would need to focus on what the Princess of the Night would say to him, and what the upcoming time would have in store for him.

"Fog, my dear child, thou art not alone with thine doubts and fears. Thy newfound brothers and sisters share with thou the pain of the past. They, like thou hast now, have been struggling with the memories of their own. They have found rest, peace and comfort in one another. Thou must try to strife for the same thing. Only then, will thou be able to forgive thyself."

"I... I don't know if I can do that..."

"In due time, thee will able to do even more than that. Thou will be able to reach higher than most ponies ever will be able to go."

Fog glanced up, and stared straight in to the teal eyes of Princess Luna who was looking at him with a comforting smile. All the while, Fog didn't realize, that the chamber they were both in just before, had transformed into a grass covered hill in the open night sky. Thousands of stars lighting the dark void of the universe with the full moon climbing the skies from the horizon. Fog, being still lost in the soothing gaze of the Princess, never noticed the sudden change. However, he did feel a soft breeze passing through his feathers, making him questioning why he felt it.

He glanced down to his right wing, noting the wind made his feathers wave the slightest bit. But he was inside the tower of the Princess, how was there wind inside of it strong enough to make his feathers move? Looking around, Fog noticed the endless field of grass from the hill he and the Princess resided on. His eyes where wide open as he witnessed the sudden change.

"P-Princess? Where are we? How did we get here?"

"Slowly, my child. There is no need for thee to be frightened. We art safe. Thou art as safe as a pony can be."

"B-But... where are we?"

"Thou art now in thine own dreams. Thy surely has not noticed it, but thee hast fallen asleep in our chambers. We created this dream scene for thou to ease thee. As we said before, thou art as safe as anypony can be."

Fog found himself starring in disbelieve at the Princess of the Night. How could she transition between the real world and the dream world so smoothly that it was unnoticeable to him? He didn't remember that he had fallen asleep. He had felt drowsy not that long ago, but that was before he went to the castle. How could sleep take him over just like that?

"Thou, like many of our subjects, underestimate the power of thine own mind. When thine thoughts are somewhere else, sleep will succumb thee easily. And almost always without thee ever knowing. Thou fell asleep as we told thee about sharing thine past with thy brothers and sisters. From there, we created this dream for thou, so we could continue the subject. But it seems thee desire to rest. We will continue tomorrow night, thy will have a busy day when thou wake up."

Fog suddenly felt that his legs started to get heavy, his eyelids slumping down repeatedly without him wanting to. He tried to shake it off, wanting to ask the Princess more, his curiosity driving him to try and stay awake, but to little avail. The Princess stood up and walked slowly towards him until she was right next to him. He found himself quickly leaning against her side for support, maybe she wanted him to stay awake?

His assumption was quickly cast aside however, when he felt her right wing gently unfurling over his back and she pressed Fog against her side. She lowered herself to the smooth grass, Fog following her movements, not being able to do anything else but go with her motions. His eye threatened to close as he was now on the grass with his belly, his legs tucked underneath him and Luna's warm wing curled gently around him. He tried once more to ignore the calling of sleep, but was quickly subdued to his body's demand as again, just like before, the same gentle and harmonic tones from a flute started to play.

"Dost not resist the needs of thine own body, my child. Tomorrow, thee wilst feel refreshed and rested, but thou must want it.

Fog's eyes closed at words of the Princess who still held him close to her side, making all the worries he ever held fall off of him like water. There was never a moment, where sleep came so unwanted, but felt so good when it washed over him, taking him down the river of reality, and into the world of dreams beyond dreams.

"May the Moon and Stars shine thine way to better times, my child. Thee deserve rest now, and we will make sure thou will get everything thy need. Sleep now, my child. Sleep."

Her soothing voice echoing through his mind was the last thing Fog knew before sleep succumbed him completely.