• Published 20th Feb 2015
  • 4,149 Views, 60 Comments

Oh Captain, My Captain! - Akashic Brony



Every Princess has a Companion Captain, except Twilight. The position is role with long tradition... and intimate implications with many marrying their bodyguards. When Twilight chooses Rainbow to be her Captain, what will the Wonderbolt say?

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Chapter 5 Loyalty and Love

Twilight gave a deep sigh. “Rainbow, when I was under the tutelage of Princess Celestia, I thought I didn’t have time for friends, let alone love. I’m a Princess now and busier than ever.”

“I understand…” Rainbow lowered her head.

Twilight used a hoof to lift Rainbow’s chin. She tilted her head and went in for the kiss. Rainbow’s wings and eyes shot open. Slowly she calmed herself and returned the gentle passion of the lip lock.

Rainbow’s chest was still pounding when she spoke. “Twilight, I thought…”

Twilight smiled, confidently. “I mastered Starswirl’s time spell, we’ve fought off Changeling Armies, we faced evil gods and all the odds. I think we can handle a little romance.”

Rainbow swallowed then gushed. “Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! I’ll have to train up the new officers to take charge. Maybe Spitfire and Soarin could help. I’ll have to call the moving company for my stuff! I’ll have to-”

Twilight smiled as Rainbow recited a list of things for her to prepare. “Rainbow, it’s alright. Even if you can’t yet fulfill the Captain part fully, we still can be Companions.” Twilight winked. “I’m thinking about having my new offices near the soldier barracks.”

Rainbow relaxed but found her wings were still deployed. She tried to calmly hide her enthusiasm. “That sounds totally awesome, Twilight.”

Twilight’s magic sparked and the room’s lock clicked. With a mischievous grin, the lavender Alicorn leapt onto the bed and moved towards Rainbow with panther like litheness.

Rainbow noticed the heightened beeping of the her hospital heart rate monitor. “Whoa, Twilight!”

Twilight backed off and examined Rainbow’s bandages. “Your injuries? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-”

Rainbow chuckled internally; Twilight was still the nerd she loved. As Twilight sputtered onward, Rainbow braced herself. What was pleasure without pain? Griffins were known to take both in equal measure. She entertained the idea she was also a predatory beast.

Rainbow growled and pounced Twilight with kisses upon her neck.

“Oh Captain!” Twilight moaned. “My Captain!”

New recruits in the Canterlot Barracks Cafeteria took their meals with a healthy helping of conversation. The background chatter was silenced when the Cafeteria doors were slammed open. An orange Pegasus was panting, heavily.

A Royal Guard saluted then asked. “Lieutenant Scootaloo, what’s going on?”

In between breaths, Scootaloo spoke. “The Mage Commander-”

“What about the Commander?”

“-and The Wonderbolt Colonel are-”

A collective cry came from the soldiers. “What?!”

Scootaloo grinned then shouted atop her lungs. “-dueling!”

Some ponies gulped down their meals while others scurried off, abandoning theirs altogether. Chairs and benches were kicked aside as there came a mad dash for the doors.

Sparks flew as Rainbow dodged bolt after magic bolt. Several training dummies in the courtyard were blown apart in a spray of hay.

Twilight’s Mages Corp robes flickered with power as her eyes glowed. “You’ll put used clothes in the laundry hamper or so help me Dash!”

Rainbow swiveled for a lance lunge. “Seriously, Twilight, it’s not fair if you use an animate spell on the house furniture to do your share of the chores!”

“Done, I’ll use less magic! Tonight’s your turn to do the dishes, Dashie!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said I’ll do them!” Rainbow ran towards Twilight.

Twilight flapped her wings, barely evading Rainbow’s attack.

Rainbow skidded on the sandy ground and turned. “You’re going to keep up your training regimen so your wings don’t become decorations!”

“Fine!” Twilight fired another barrage of bolts.

Rainbow outpaced the explosive bursts of magic. She swiftly turned and closed in during Twilight’s pause. “You’ll keep up with your diet!”

Rainbow and Twilight met face to face as Rainbow’s practice lance slapped Twilight’s flanks. “Got ya. You’ll have to keep up with your diet so that fat flank stays in shape.” Rainbow gave a toothy grin.

Twilight used her eyes and gestured to her horn that was already charged for another bolt. “I got you too. Rainbow, you’re going to organize your paperwork and your clothes.”

Both combatants gave each other a lusty look.

Rainbow’s hot breath tickled Twilight. “I like it when you build a sweat.”

Twilight pressed her muzzle to Rainbow’s ear. “We’ll be sweating more later.”

Their moment was interrupted by cheers from the different divisions of Guards. Members of the Mages Corp tossed their wizard hats upwards while Wonderbolt recruits did small aerial flips. Undecided recruits, who wore generic armor, whooped. Both girls blushed as they became aware of their audience.

Upon a cloud, Twilight and Rainbow lay with their wings wrapped around each other.

“That was an awesome show.” said Rainbow.

“I hope we put up a convincing performance,” said Twilight, twiddling her hooves. “I’m sorry if I was too forceful.”

“Nah, you were perfect.” Rainbow swatted her hooves. “The newbies seem to love it. We’ll get recruits to join both our divisions.”

Twilight nodded. “It’s gotten me thinking, maybe Equestria could do better if we have integrated units. Magic and might would be good combination.”

“Any excuse to see me more, huh?” Rainbow tossed her head back, nonchalantly.

Twilight grinned. “You’ll pay for that fat flank comment.”

“Make me, jelly belly.” Rainbow pressed her muzzle to Twilight’s tummy and blew, causing her to squeal.

Twilight flailed her hooves. “Stop, I’m ticklish there!”

“I know.”

“I know your weak spot too!” Twilight passed her hooves through Rainbow’s wings to the tips. The Pegasus became paralyzed as her tongue lolled out and she fell onto her back.

Twilight had sat up and stared at the world below from their cloud mattress. “I’m really glad we did this.”

“Me too. Sometimes it scares me to be this happy.”

Twilight pulled Rainbow into her wings. “Don’t be. This isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning. We have the rest of our lives.”

Rainbow looked sadly at Twilight’s horn and wings. “Maybe mine. I wish I could be there for you always though… I held back before because I didn’t want you to be sad. I’m afraid when I’m gone, that’ll give you the biggest hurt of them all. Every moment together I’m hurting you… I can’t....I...”

Twilight gently placed her forehead against Rainbow’s. “I have just as many years as you. We’ll grow gray together.”

“Wait, Twilight you didn’t have to-”

“I want to; eons would pass without another Rainbow Dash.”

“Let’s not waste a second more then.” Rainbow extended her wings, a tip of hers touched Twilight’s wing. “There’s another tradition among Pegasi, it’s rather a difficult maneuver.”

Twilight’s wings stood on ends. “The nuptial flight, the wingtip to wingtip dance! I’ve been training for this! I read the diagrams and manuals.” She bounced upon the cloud. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Stop cheating and reading ahead of the lesson plan. We’re not dancing. It’s totally serious.”

Twilight sat at attention reminiscent of foalhood school days. “Okay, Ms. Dash, teach me.”

Rainbow smiled, and began her explanation. “Now this dance…”

Since before the first Weather Warlord, since the first Pegasus took to their wings, it was an age old ballet. They spiraled together in the air, swishing through the clouds, and entwined in each other’s flight paths. Above in the heavens, the world bore witness to their union. Wingtip by wingtip, enraptured by their partners’ glow, two forms faded into the light of the sinking sun.

Comments ( 28 )

I prefer chapter 5 over chapter 4, sure the unified republic in chapter 4 could still achieved after chapter 5, the unification in chapter 5 acts like the first of many stepping stones towards that

very good story so far

I...Hmm...

I....

I don't know what to say.

It has a good premise. A great one actually! I really like the idea of a personal guard- I mean, it makes sense. and If I remember correctly, there was a similar story to this that came up a while ago, but without the romance.

It is a very solid idea. I like it. Executed...Ehh? :trixieshiftleft:

It's just...I mean, the direction at first is very solid. I didn't know what was going on. and, the part that bugged me first was...Rainbow's reasoning. I mean, honestly, what was her reason?

Exhibit A-

Rainbow lowered her head, her mane obscuring her eyes. “I’m a Captain of the Wonderbolts, it’s been my dream. Dreams though, you know, have a funny way of not working like you imagined. There’s an ugly competitive culture here, corruption and cutting through friends to get rank. I’m trying to change that. I work weekdays and weekends now. I’ve become kinda like Rarity, a career mare. It wouldn’t work out.”

Exhibit B-

“How about your paperwork? You have your responsibilities as a Princess. Equestria needs you, I can’t be a burden.”

Exhibit C-

Rainbow drew her aviator glasses from her uniform and fixed them on. “I’m sorry. Both of us have full time careers. We have to be realistic. I feel it in my wings, there’s a war brewing… We have to be loyal to Equestria.” She saluted. “I beg your leave, Princess.” She locked her legs at attention and saluted. Pivoting, Rainbow marched away from Twilight.

Let's analyze exhibit A;

That...makes sense. That really does. Rainbow Dash would want to change things from her position, and I can see there is a lot of "Political" quandaries going on. This, right here, I understand.

And I see that there is significant reluctance right after and throughout the tale on Rainbow's part about this, which I find o-k. I just feel it could've been more fleshed out- like, I could've been given a little more backstory into the whole political aspect. But, it's good where it is, I suppose.

Let's analyze exhibit B;

Very clearly a lazy attempt to push Twilight away. I get that- but...It also feels like lazy writing. I don't know.

Honestly- why doesn't Rainbow Dash just...give the position to someone else? I mean- she even said it to herself later on that Soarin or Spitfire might help out with that, so...Nevermind.

Let's analyze exhibit C;

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. WHY WOULDN'T RAINBOW DASH BE THE PRINCESS' PERSONAL BODYGUARD WHEN SHE KNOWS A WAR IS COMING!?!?!?

Sorry...Sorry. That was uncalled for. *ahem*, I think that could've been handled a little better. Perhaps that is a mistake on the character's part, but...it just felt straight up wrong to me. She is the element of LOYALTY- Rainbow -- in my mind at least -- would've been all over that shit.

--

Now...My biggest problem.

You blew your load. You blew it. You had a big intense battle and all this crazy shit happening so early as chapter 2- you blew it.

I realize this wasn't meant to be a big story- that's cool. I am fine with that. But, when you apply these ideas of politics, deep love interests, foreshadowing, it really, REALLY strikes me as a premise for a bigger, broader narrative.

I think it would've been much more interesting and intense if it was a smaller-scale, more intimate tale of separation by responsibilities and duties, as well as ideals and perspective that Rainbow and Twilight had been implemented with.

But...that's just me.

and oh my god why did a trillion freaking characters come up during that race. Just why? I don't get it. I mean, I'm not mad about it (Maybe a little)

but these character's just popped up out of nowhere! Spitfire, Soarin, yada yada and then it just went *poof*

I mean, what is going on with Scootaloo? I was more interested in her side story than anything else at that point!

Lightning, Soarin and Spitfire- oh man. One question; where did they go when shit went down? Were they still doing the race?

The end all came spiraling down for me into a non-nonsensical concoction of love-interest, fighting and unnecessary, unexplained conflict.

and know WHAAAAAATTTTTTTT!???!?!?!!?!??!?!

NONE OF IT MATTERED IN THE END!!!

Rainbow Dash doesn't toss her duties out the window- either ending has the same conclusion; they get together finally! (I actually found the first ending very heart warming.)

Rainbow Dash keeps her duties as the Wonderbolt Captain and still makes changes and Twilight stays Twilight.

In the other one, earlier motives tossed out the window at the flick of a hoof. Just...gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh....

Okay...I like ONE aspect that you may have not even considered, but I enjoyed. In fact, it wasn't even explored- it's simply from my understanding.

When you fight with someone, when you go through a horrible experience- when you SURVIVE when you shouldn't have with a friend, you grow a bond with them. IT is in our human nature that we grow compassion for those we can depend on.

and that, is what I really look for in stories like this. You didn't mention it or explore it, perhaps I'm just trying to fill in the blanks. But, that's from my experience.

...

...

...

...Know what?

Despise all this, I still liked it. If you (and I hope so) are going to keep going with this, I will happily come back and read more. I'm not going to re-read this as I may have thought initially, but I will say I enjoyed the idea and the overall ending. I can see the potential, but it was just missed.

I hope this critique was worthwhile

Toodles~ :moustache:

5653600
There's more to a story than what is said. There's alot to be inferred by reading in between the lines. If I spelled it out for you then it would be too easy. Rash romance can be a dangerous distraction. Rainbow was making excuses, that was the point. Her life goals had been pretty much set. The uncertainty bothered her the most. She realized though her mistake that's why she entered the race not to win it but to give Twilight a choice and chance while protecting her from say unscrupulous character like Lightning. :ajsleepy: If you read the endings, you'll find that one of the biggest reasons was she thought Twilight was going to be immortal. :twilightoops:

5653647 I guess I left out a lot from my "Review" :facehoof:

In the end, I like it. I'm just speaking my mind because, well, I might just explode if I don't voice my opinion.

I'm here for the ride though. And maybe when this is all said and done, I might understand a little more.

5653600 Haha I completely forgot about the other participants of the race when I was editing. Perhaps they were just anecdotes. Good comment!

5653657
No problem, everyone reads things differently, I also have a strange style. I'm uncompromising and I refuse to reiterate too many times, then some messages get lost in the brew. I took a risk with this story, instead of writing fluffy stuff.

5653678 During their race, Soarin, Spitfire and Lightning Dust stopped and decided to have a quick game of Texas Holdem'.

Luna was not pleased.

(pfft :heart::moustache::heart:)


5653679 Like I said, I certainly like it! I just personally would have taken a different route. But, what's done is done and, despite my complaints, I'm still interested. Doing something right! :scootangel:

5653685 Don't forget Lightning had a quick duel with Rainbow!

5653693 Luna gave Rainbow a high-hoof for kicking her ass. :rainbowdetermined2:

In both Yearning Years and Loyalty and Love you made Twilight mortal. Couldn't you have instead made Rainbow Dash immortal?

I totally prefer this one.:rainbowkiss: and it isnt done yet, right?

5654515 I have yet to read it, but either way 'guffaw' is usually a term used by stereotypical southerners, they happen to be friends with one and if Twilight said it well.. Librarian, vocabulary, nuff said.

So we have a realistic-adult romance and a happy-adolescent romance. I liked both but I'll have to choose the adolescent one. :scootangel:
I got to say, I'm between your's and kodeake's. :unsuresweetie:
Maybe the next chapter will make me decide... *wink**wink*
They should add an emoticon with an over exaggerated wink.

Is this complete? I'm gonna assume it's complete. Unless you plan on posting another chapter in the next....50 minutes.

5659352
My apologies, I was away and did not realize I had not changed it. Yes the story is completed.

Great story. I love myself some TwiDash! 10/10 :twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

:D

Some ponies gulped down their meals while others scurried off, abandoning theirs altogether. Chairs and benches were kicked aside as there came a mad dash for the doors.

Quick, To The Doors!

This GIF fits the scene so well I had to share it

Comment posted by Cryosite deleted Mar 5th, 2015

Meh, I prefer daring ending, where they take the chance, and all the endless possibilities therein. But on the whole, it is still an excellent piece.

The like is earned.

Oh, this is beautiful. I expected chapter 4 to be the sad ending, but it it was surprisingly positive--but this one absolutely blew it out of the water. Such adorable TwiDash I wanna squee.

(And with Twilight ensuring Dash gets her exercise--under the covers, if need be--she'll be back up to not-being-beaten-by-Lightning-Dust levels again!)

I do admit, though, that this wasn't what I had expected when you said we'd get to chose the ending. I thought the question would have been over whether Dash lived or died. Although considering how much the title would have given away Dash's death, I suppose it was too obvious to expect.

Was the griffin commander possessed by the Nightmare?

I can see multiple meanings behind twilights words about her having just as many years as rainbow

I see the implied when rainbow dies of old age so does twilight but i can also see a Rainbow will live forever thing but just barely

NOOOOOO!!!!!

ahem... sorry 'bout that...

good story. :moustache:

6063870 I hadn't thought about that and it's a very good point. ether way she would not have survived the the effort it takes her to get close to doing a sonic rainbow boom.

there must be a sequel or something pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
:fluttercry::fluttershbad:

6265596 I love finding books with names of something else. Or whenever someone makes accidental reference and I find them.

I know I'm one easy public, but still. Akashic brony, I thank you for this story. For both its ends. I liked both chapters. Thank you again, I had a great time reading, and that's why I came to read in the first place.

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