• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Feb 13th, 2019

Marshal Twilight


A smut-peddling armchair general with a love for writing and ponies.

Comments ( 55 )

Added to "read it later" list! :ajsmug:

And a sequel to one of the best M/M clopfics has arrived! :ajsmug:

This sequel pleases me, big props to both you and Babs. :heart:

5679152

Jake, I purposefully enjoy M/F and M/M horseporn along with the lesbo stuff just to confuse the shit out of you. :rainbowwild:

5679179

You know you like it. Shhhh. Just let it happen. :moustache:

5679189

It's canon. Jake is all of our virginities.

So everyone's but mine... *watches as that ship sails away forever ago*

5679196

Ha! Implying that I would want to be shipped with you!


b-baka...

5679157 The truth has been revealed!

5679274

My enjoyment of various forms of cartoon equine pornography is solely a ruse to confuse Jake! I have been... discovered! :pinkiegasp:

Veeeeery nice. There were a couple confusing sentences in there, but for the most part, you gave a very clear presentation of what was happening. Great work! Will read again! :ajsmug:

Also you have an "and and" somewhere towards the end.

5679670

Ah, thank you for pointing that out. Fixed.

5680341 You wouldn't happen to have a non-clop account, would you? Or, rather, one with stories that are about more than just that? Because I enjoyed this story's non-sex parts more than I do for most other stories that have no clop at all, and I was hoping you had more in the offing. And if you don't, that's a damn shame. I'd love to see some long term stories out of you, whether they involve sex and/or romance or not. M/M, for preference.

5680500

I've dabbled in SFW stories on Fimfiction before, also on this account. Two of them are one-shots that are mostly headcanon dumps. The third is a cancelled TwiShy adventure story that didn't go very far (this story is actually longer.) In general I haven't had particularly good results with my non-clop stories, so I tend to favor smut since I like writing it and people seem to enjoy it more.

5680518 Well, that's practically sinful. Oh, well. Thanks for the reply regardless, and good luck in future endeavors.

Hot, hot, hot, hot... did I mention it was hot? :heart:

So Brae speaks enough for the both of them?

This was pretty good. Funny in the beginning, serious in a good way near the end.

Before Soapy Suds, I didn't like guys. Before this, I didn't like Braeburn. Marshal Twilight strikes again.

5681104

Yeah, I thought it was a cute idea.

5681159

Good to know. It's what I was going for. I always think that good lead-up is important.

5683750

ma.utexas.edu/users/ahughes/photos/pinkie_moustache.gif

In all seriousness, I love these kinds of comments. You know you did something right when it makes people see things differently at the end. :yay:

Damn. That was good.
You have no idea how happy I am that there is a sequel.

Soapy Suds and Horny Studs is one of my favourite reads when I first came to fimfiction and I just found out thanks to Braeburned that there is a sequel! @-@ Excellent work.

5683854
It was a nice touch, both things.

Overall, I give it a 8.75. Out of 10 9. -0.25 for the incestuous relationship between Braeburn and Mac. That's my only complaint other than the fact that I'm sorta jealous of everyone involved. xD

5684192 One might even say...

...it's a squeequel.

PHR

It's ridiculous how loose and eager you made Soarin. I couldn't help laughing at some parts. :rainbowlaugh:

And once again, this straight man finds himself upvoting M/M smut. :twilightoops: Well played, Marshal. Well played.

Speaking of upvotes, 5 out of your last 7 fics I've not only liked, but faved. Ever since "Open With Myself", you've really been nailing it.

I think you've earned yourself another follower. :pinkiehappy:

You - you- you...

How do you do it?

I could clop to your stories time and again. Have, in fact. Every time I sign on to find something new from you has popped up, it causes something from ME to pop up ^///^ And each time you seem to surpass the last. It's amazing.

If I could nominate you for some sort of Clopscar award, I would. Maybe if I get lucky and hit the lottery jackpot I can hire a good animator to start animating some of your stories. Once again, you prove yourself to be the god of stallion-on-stallion clop; bravo!

What are the gay colors?
Rainbow...
Who is the gay support pony?
Rainbow dash...

:rainbowlaugh: I laughed so hard at that last line, just, yes! it seems so random yet so perfect :rainbowlaugh:

To say this is underrated would be a terrible understatement. I'm still not sure where to begin in talking about this because there's quite a bit going on in here and you pulled it off expertly.

The build up in the first chapter was just as enjoyable as the action in the second. I'll be the first to say I've a soft spot for romance and this has that sweet, romantic undertone in spades. So much so that I'd say it's less an undertone and more an overtone; the whole fic is permeated with a sense of care and tenderness, not just between the respective couples but each towards the other. The focus is clearly Thunderlane's perspective in the first chapter and his little asides in recalling his time spent with Soarin', the nuances of his behaviour, even the remarks about his (admittedly minor) faults all just reinforce how loving their relationship really is. And that's something I'd like to take a moment to comment on.

First of all, finding gay erotica isn't exactly all that easy. Finding decent gay erotica is, as they say, as difficult as finding hen's teeth. But this is far more than just "decent". This isn't just some quick fuck shared between two ponies who serve just to advance the action. There's real character behind them, a real sense of depth to their relationship and that only serves to make the later action all the more enjoyable. Because as much as this really is four stallions in an orgy, it's passionate and even loving. It's two couples who both understand the love the other feels and almost feels like a means of releasing pent up emotion that couldn't be done otherwise. The absolute sense of desire and wanton need is a constant undercurrent, which is a wonderful, beautiful touch.

So, to return to the first chapter, that's really a big part of it. The brief action between them is born of the desire of the dominant stallion for his respective partner. Thunderlane's clearly riding an emotional high, both from the awe and wonder of being in such a city and being there to spend time with his lover. If you had instead written this as a simple tale of love and passion between the two I'm sure I'd be sitting here praising it just as highly. And, if I may be so bold, I would say that I'd love to see something simpler like that. Maybe even an aside with Macintosh and Braeburn's own thoughts upon visiting the city. Again, sucker for romance.

Now, the second chapter... Goodness, there's just so much to get through in it. But it's all good! All of it. in short: I never felt like the action dwelt on one pair for too long nor did the shifts in perspective become confusing at any point. It was clear but intense and lingered just long enough to get the feeling of what was going on across.

There's an intensity to the action that I've found few others have managed to really capture as well as you have. When Mac mounted Soarin' I was holding my breath in anticipation. And then the slow movement afterwards left me letting out that breath and then struggling to catch it. It comes back to what I was saying above about the sheer passion in their coupling: that you enjoy putting in a lot of detail is abundantly clear and it's those little details, the little touches here and there that really take it from being a simple if still enjoyable rendering of the action into offering a real insight to what's going on. Things like Soarin' licking at Thunderlane, their lengthy kisses, the little moments spent dwelling on one small part of anatomy that do the most wonderful things to them.

But it's also not too long. The pacing of everything is just spot on and I never once found myself skimming over parts to move on or dwelling to figure anything out or drawn to linger. It just takes the reader along through it at a steady pace, eager to see what unfolds. And I feel the buildup in the first chapter has a good part to play in that. I mean, yes, it's amusing that Soarin' would so bluntly blurt out that request but you'd spent long enough building up his lack of tact that it's unsurprising; it makes perfect sense.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm trying to give an overview of how this succeeded in a mechanical and thematic sense but, and I'm not often given over to expressing such sentiments publicly, it has to be said this was also incredibly arousing. That can, I feel, be attributed to the passion, the sense of love and desire as much as to the action itself. In something like this, neither can stand alone, it's only through their complementing each other that it's so good. And, if you'll forgive me for stressing this so much, you really did an excellent job in doing that. Soapy Suds was a beautiful read but I think you've outdone yourself here.

I really can't find much to criticise, beyond a few small points that I feel are more personal gripes. This was, overall, spot on and I can only say well bloody done on that. You started off strong and have only been improving.

Oh how that was hot. Favouriting.

This is one of the hottest things I've read in a while.

Eventually I'm going to have to stop reading your stuff man. Each time it makes me wanna write and that can't happen. Nice mix here though. I like all the imagery and whatnot

Soapy Suds was the first story I read on this site. One of the major dominoes in my entry to this fandom was literally gay horse porn.

No regrets.

6360185 hey u said that this is the first story u read here not every story is like this. Do not judge a book by its package. If u know what i mean :)

6376114 I know that there are many various genres of stories on this site, and I have indulged in most of them. This was the first thing I read on this site, but I never said it was indicative of most of its contents. I'm honestly sort of in awe of Fimfiction, especially in comparison to other fan sites.

6376250 k then i hope u enjoy reading the stories :)

I...I just...I still can't believe I'm reading gay horse fiction.

I seriously love when stories are emotionally evocative. And this had me cackling like a sleep-deprived madman half the time.

7022750 You're over a year late, but I suppose it's the thought that counts. :pinkiesmile:

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