Chapter 31 - Midnight Machinations
The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam
Midnight Machinations
Time: 8:07 P.M. 23 Hours, 53 minutes until Zero Hour
Scheduled Event: Cancelled due to Griffon Mourning
State of Alicorn Anxiety: Yellowish Orange
The sun had just begun to sink below the horizon as the Royal Chariot holding His Future Highness, Prince Consort Green Grass of House Twinkle landed on the castle portwalk, which was conveniently located for alicorns to travel to their royal bedchambers, but somewhat awkward for the young earth pony and his unicorn servant to make their way back to the guest quarters.
“That’s the end of it for this evening, sir.” Papercut closed the schedule with a sharp snap and tucked it away in his saddlebag, a motion which had become almost reflex over the last few weeks, and which he could carry out with the speed of an alicorn in pursuit of the last piece of cake. “All of the apologies have been made, and it looks like your schedule is clear until tomorrow when the period of mourning ends and the emperor departs.”
“Yeah.” Green Grass trudged along the castle corridor, seeming as if he were searching for a pebble to kick along his path. “Stubborn catbird. I'm starting to wonder if he plans on holding Princess Sun Shines on board the Indomitable until just before departure, and then sneaking her into the wedding and laughing into the sunset.”
“His departure is scheduled around five,” said Papercut. “A little early for sunset. Besides, he will be traveling east, and Princess Celestia does not change the path of her charge for petty visual effects.” Papercut's upper lip twitched, and he glanced up and down the empty corridor once before lighting his horn up in the new privacy spell he had just learned last week. It worked as it should, surrounded the two of them in a faint bubble that kept up with them as they walked. Lowering his voice, he added, “Will you be in need of assistance for your midnight meeting, sir?”
“Thank you for your concern, Papercut. I'll be fine.”
“Very well, sir.” Papercut sniffed and removed the schedule for additional inspection. “Oh, look. By coincidence, Miss Crosswind and I just happen to be scheduled at midnight to look at a painting in the castle corridor a certain distance away from your illicit rendezvous, while Princess Luna will be holding court a short trot away from that. Should you happen to need assistance and cry out, we shall endeavor to come to your aid. Quite noisily, in fact. I certainly hope we do not disturb Her Highness.”
“Thank you, Papercut, but I said I’ll be fine.”
The slim unicorn returned the schedule to his saddlebag and looked up with guileless eyes. “Sir, it is somewhat less than twenty-four hours until your scheduled incarceration and my liberation. Should something happen to you in the meantime, there will be a number of unpleasant questions I would not like to answer, mostly asked by Her Highness. Your Her Highness.”
“I’ve got this, Papercut. I don't need a friend stepping on my lines.” Green Grass hesitated with a sudden flurry of blinking. “I don't need you stepping on my lines, that is. Context is very important. Thank you for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome, sir. I'm just glad this untidy business with the Emperor is over.” Papercut shuddered. “To think that Princess Luna had promised to kill that other griffon. It makes my blood run cold.”
“She promised no such thing.” Green Grass continued walking while Papercut favored him with a skeptical look of his own.
“She did too,” insisted Papercut. “I speak a little Griffon too, and I have a very good memory.” He cleared his throat and began to chirp and squawk, “<I swear by the First Egg, in the Name of the Great Wyrm, that we shall find the one who committed this deed, and that whoever they may be, pony, griffon, or other, they shall die before me.>”
Green Grass came to a complete halt in the hallway, looked at the nearby guard, and back at Papercut until the servant reluctantly reinforced the privacy spell into a semi-solid bubble that encompassed the two of them and nopony else.
“She certainly sounded serious,” said Papercut, looking a little miffed.
“About finding the culprit, yes,” said Green Grass, although he never took his eyes from a careful study of the impassive Royal Guard just a few steps away.
Papercut scowled with a certain shrugging of his shoulders that would have fluffed up his wings, had he not been a unicorn. “She said she was going to kill the one responsible!”
“No, she didn’t.” Green Grass swallowed and took a deep breath. “No, she said they would die before her. Parse the words of the immortal alicorn before applying meaning to them.”
“Oh.” Papercut took a long look at his employer/owner. “There's something else you're not telling me. You don't believe that griffon actually poisoned our meal, do you?”
It took a moment before Green Grass responded. “I believe that he did, yes.”
Now it was Papercut’s turn to pause. “But?” He continued looking at his reluctant owner until adding, “I am under your command, sir. I shall not speak of it without your—”
“It doesn’t matter,” said Green Grass rather too quickly. “If I’m right or you’re right, we're all perfectly safe. But if we're both wrong, there’s still a killer out there. If so, they should be quaking in their metaphorical boots now. Fear makes ponies and griffons do foolish things. You should keep on the tips of your hooves from now on.”
Papercut scoffed. “Any more on the tips of my hooves, and I could dance Swan Lake.”
Green Grass turned to him with one eyebrow raised and the hint of a smile starting to show. “I’d pay good money to see you lift Princess Celestia over your head.”
“You first, sir,” said Papercut. “Right now you have more important things to deal with.”
The privacy bubble popped as he nodded politely to Twilight Sparkle, who was trotting down the corridor in front of the Royal Guest rooms with Crosswind and Spike right by her side.
“There you are, Greenie!” she called out. “Did you get everything on the ground taken care of this afternoon?”
“Apologies made, Royals pacified, schedules cleared, and I haven't heard from Blueblood since noon,” said Green Grass, craning his neck to look at the schedule Papercut was holding out for him. “How about you?”
“The funeral was… different,” started Twilight. “Unique. I've never felt more safe in my life. Five,” she added. “I’m beginning to think all weddings need an unscheduled day ahead of the vows. Not like this, though. Our child is going to have a nice, quiet wedding with no drama.”
“I’ll be in a bunker in Neighpon that day,” said Papercut, making a note on his personal calendar. “I’ll send a card.”
Crosswind thwapped him on the back of the head with a wingtip at almost the exact instant that Twilight Sparkle did.
“Anyway,” continued Twilight while limbering up her wing just in case it was needed again, “Greenie and I have a few things to discuss this evening, and I’ve got something that I absolutely have to do tonight.”
“Papercut just gave me a wonderful idea for a schedule alteration, dear.”
“It was no problem, Your Highness,” said Papercut while comparing schedules with Crosswind. “Perhaps we can take a few minutes this evening for a combined staff meeting, such as it is.”
“Ahh…” started Green Grass, looking down the corridor at where the doors to the various Royal Guest Suites were being guarded by two Royal Guards, who were still maintaining the polite fiction that all of the rooms were occupied by individual ponies at night. “Dear? He needs The Lecture.”
“At his age?” Princess Twilight Sparkle peered at Papercut, giving him the sudden feeling of being a foal again being examined by his mother before magic kindergarten. “Most of my mother’s notes and study guides are back at the house, but I think I kept a copy of the pre-test and some of the first chapter for spellchecking.”
“Not that lecture,” said Green Grass, rolling his eyes. “That lecture.”
“And I’m out of here,” said Spike with a yawn. He walked down the corridor, calling out over his shoulder, “See you all tomorrow morning, if the world doesn't end.” He vanished into a guest suite of his own and closed the door, leaving Papercut to stare at Princess Twilight Sparkle with a raised eyebrow and an unspoken question.
“Hurry up,” said Crosswind, which did not help Papercut’s apparent befuddlement one bit.
“As you may know,” started Twilight rather quickly, “a mare in a high-tension situation may accumulate certain… chemical imbalances. When the tension is released, frequently these imbalances… balance.”
“And what does this have to do with me?” asked Papercut, ending in an abrupt squawk as Crosswind strode past him and grabbed his ear between her teeth. The pegasus mare only had to take a few steps to be in front of the second Royal Guest Suite, where she released Papercut's ear and strode inside, leaving the door open behind her.
“Wha?” Papercut cast an imploring look up the corridor at Green Grass and Twilight, who both shrugged.
“It’s your choice,” said Green Grass, holding the door to their suite open for his fiancée.
“Choose wisely,” said Twilight, passing through the door, flicking her tail behind her.
Papercut looked in the open doorway in front of him.
Then he looked back up the corridor at where the Royal Couple had just vanished into their own room.
And went into the room after Crosswind, closing the door behind him.
* ♥ *
Time: 9:15 P.M. 22 Hours, 45 minutes until Zero Hour
Scheduled Event: Stress Relief
State of Alicorn Anxiety: Maple Glazed
Late at night, the Canterlot castle took on an aura of serenity, standing pale in the moonlight without a sound or sign of habitation. Servants tired from long hours spent in the halls strolled home down the starlit streets of Canterlot, not even talking except for the occasional yawn or nod as they passed each other on their way to blessed slumber.
In the towers of the Royal Guest Towers, a silent shadow flittered out of an open balcony window, a small purple ghost that was only slightly swollen around the middle to the point where an observer would have to be very astute to spot her weight gain (and very foolish to mention it). The shadow darted down into the streets and moved like an arrow in a direction that the four quieter shadows behind her knew very well: Donut Joe’s All-Night Cafe.
Once the shadow had flitted through the front door of the cafe, the four Night Guards gathered together on a nearby rooftop for a quick staff meeting. The Nocturne took their job very seriously, and like guards everywhere, ‘doughnuts’ were a small but very significant portion of that job.
“Misty Meadows, watch the north roof, Sal has the south one, I’ll stay here to coordinate,” whispered Flight Leader Orchid in a gravelly voice that showed his years more than his white-tipped coat or greying mane.
“What about me?” whispered Meadowlark, the Night Guard’s newest member to be promoted to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s personal protective unit.
Orchid grinned just as broadly as the rest of the guards. “Newbie pays for doughnuts for the crew. Twilight always seems good for an hour or so at Joe's, so we've got some time for a few donuts of our own. Go on down to the back door, knock and Joe will take the order. I’ll have a Bismarck with raspberry filling. What about the rest of you?”
“Maple frosted.”
“Same.”
Orchid snorted in derision. “Unimaginative kids. Go on, newbie. It’ll only take a minute. I’m just glad we’re shadowing her instead of Luna. It’s nice to have a princess we can be one step ahead of for a change.”
The three Night Guards remained on the rooftop while their companion slipped away on his task, almost invisible in the night sky. In a very short time, he returned with a warm paper bag in his mouth and a look of consternation that made his Flight Leader promptly ask, “So what’s with the face, Specialist Meadowlark?”
The Nocturne did not say anything right away, just opened the bag and let the rest of the guards each extract their respective pastry from the pile of maple frosted delicacies with a single Bismarck on top. Finally, after taking a bite of his own doughnut, Meadowlark said, “Joe wanted us to know that Princess Twilight was picking up our bill, and that she said ‘Make sure to remind Flight Leader Orchid that his wedding anniversary is tomorrow.’” Meadowlark slipped a hoof inside his armor and pulled out a card, passing it over to Orchid without comment.
“Congratulations on your upcoming twenty-fifth wedding anniversary,” said Orchid, reading down the thick cardstock. “From Princess Twilight Sparkle and Green Grass. P.S. We’ve set up an appointment at Cartiara's⁽¹⁾ Jewelry for you in the morning. I believe a necklace would be appropriate.”
“Flight Leader Orchid, I have a question,” said Misty Meadows with a badly-suppressed snicker. “What was that you were saying about being one step ahead of Princess Sparkle?”
(1) Cartiara’s Jewelry - Purveyor of fine jewelry to the Royals of Canterlot and the surrounding area for over seven centuries. Come in and browse our fine selection today, for the mare or stallion in your life. We offer a ten percent discount if you or any member of your family gets their cutie mark while shopping. Financing available. Bring in this advertisement for a free set of earrings with any purchase over ten thousand bits.
—
* ♥ *
Time: 9:20 P.M. 22 Hours, 40 minutes until Zero Hour
Scheduled Event: Recruitment
State of Groom Anxiety: Willing To Try Anything
Exiting from the other side of the castle, a green servant in a dark jacket strolled into the city of Canterlot, seemingly unaware of the aerial shadows he accumulated as he left the protective walls and started down the moonlit streets. His brisk stride made the journey pass at a rapid rate until he paused at a dinner theatre and examined the playbill posted outside. With a shrug that seemed to indicate the indulgence of a whim, he adjusted his hat and went inside.
And after a few minutes, his shadows followed.
Hours later, the scene played out in almost the exact reverse order. First the shadows flitted out of the theatre, concealing themselves on nearby rooftops and balconies. Then the green stallion strode out of the theatre and back down the street, this time with almost a bounce in his step. Once again, the shadows followed, keeping pace with him until he vanished inside the castle again, and the shadows flitted off to report on the activities of the night.
* ♥ *
In a private meeting room in Prince Blueblood's offices, the prince sat back in his chair and eyed the Royal Guard who had just given his report. It had been a very uninteresting report on a very uninteresting stallion, but Blueblood was taking no chances this close to the final step in his plan to evict the useless earth pony from the side of Princess Twilight Sparkle. There would be a Royal Wedding tomorrow evening, only with a much more appropriate groom. But first, he needed to make absolutely certain that the plan was on track.
"Sit down, Lieutenant Sentry," said Blueblood with a practiced scowl that was reflected in the perfect surface of his oaken desk. "I want to verify a few points in your report. Mister Grass took a walk tonight outside of the castle, went to a theatre, and returned back to the castle without talking to anypony, correct."
"That's correct, Your Highness," replied Flash Sentry, who remained at Parade Rest on the other side of the desk from Prince Blueblood, although it seemed as if the young pegasus would much rather have been anywhere else.
"Odd," murmured Blueblood. "What was playing at the theatre?"
Flash shrugged. "Some magic act, I think. I was watching Lord Green Grass, as you ordered. He sat through the performance, sent the performer some flowers from a vendor, and remained at the booth for some time afterwards."
"I see." Blueblood tapped his forehooves together on top of the desk. "No visitors? No guests? No conversations of any type?"
"Well…" Lieutenant Sentry frowned in concentration. "He ordered a pasta dish from the waiter. Tipped well. Tipped the flower filly well too. Nothing else that I could see."
"Very well. Wait a moment." Blueblood paused with his hoof raised in dismissal. "You do not need to report this conversation to Princess Luna until the end of your shift, Lieutenant Sentry, if you get my meaning."
"Sir?" The young guardspony had a very impressive poker face, and an impassive stare that revealed none of the thoughts going on in that young and easily-influenced mind.
"I mean, your rise through the ranks has been rather impressive, at least so far. If you delay your report until the end of the evening, your continued promotions should be assured. Do you understand now?"
"Sir, yes sir. I am to report this to Princess Luna at the end of the evening, sir." One hoof rose in a flawless salute and the young guardspony remained in that perfect pose while asking, "May I be dismissed, Your Highness?"
"Yes, go on." Blueblood scarcely noticed as the guardspony slipped out the door, instead turning to a side door where an elderly unicorn came into the room once the guard had departed. "Is everything prepared, Don Lavoro?"
"Yes, Principe Blueblood." The white-maned unicorn produced a folder and floated several densely-scribbled sheets of official parchment out of it. "Both forgeries are prepared as you requested, however, I must ask if you really wish to proceed with this. The young ponies, they do seem to be so much in love."
Blueblood drew up short, picking up the folder and examining the papers inside. "Yes, very good work. Very tidy." His eyes lifted up to stare dispassionately at the nervous unicorn. "Do not think about backing out of our agreement at this stage of the plan, Don Lavoro. You should have considered any moral scruples before becoming so indebted at the gaming tables. It is only my patronage that is keeping several unscrupulous ponies from carrying out their threats. After you and your wife complete this simple task, you will find life much more to your liking. Perhaps you can even return to the stage. Do you understand?"
"Si," said the older unicorn, still with a frown. "That does not mean I have to like it, Principe."
* ♥ *
Time: 11:50 P.M. 20 Hours, 10 minutes until Zero Hour
Scheduled Event: Bribery
State of Groom Anxiety: Strangely Calm
The door to Princess Twilight Sparkle's room swung open almost silently and Green Grass stepped out into the hallway, taking a few moments to adjust his collar and his hat before turning around and calling back through the door, "I'm off to my midnight meeting, Dear. Have fun at Princess Luna's court tonight."
He closed the door with a faint click before regarding the impassive Night Guard still at rigid attention to one side. "Corporal Misty Meadows. I have another critical meeting this evening that under no circumstances can I permit you to be anywhere near."
The guard made no response, as expected.
"All I can do is assure you that I've taken every possible precaution, and request that you wait with Papercut and Crosswind in the hallway while I'm just down the hall, conveniently located in the event I need to scream for assistance. In addition, I have been taking classes taught by Sergeant Petunia for several weeks now, and he assures me that if I were to be attacked by a filly scout carrying a soda straw that I could defend myself for at least a full minute, which should be plenty of time for you to come galloping to my aid."
This time, the tiniest of smiles barely touched the corners of the guard's lips.
“Good,” said Green Grass, turning on his heel and striding down the hallway. After a few moments, the click-click of the guard's hooves matched with his own, sufficiently far enough back that Green Grass had to suppress a smile. Just because everything was going according to what he was laughingly calling a plan now, did not mean he could afford to get sloppy. If by some insane coincidence, this wasn't a setup, it would only take ten minutes or so before he would be back in his own bedroom and trying to explain things to two mares in a way that would not make him look like a paranoid fool. On the other hoof, if this was a setup, as expected, things would go to pieces in rather short order, and any plans would not be worth the metaphorical paper they should have been printed on.
Which is why he had two metaphorical aces up his sleeve, even if one of them was probably a joker.
He strode down the corridors of the castle, keeping one ear alert to the sound of hooves behind him, nodded genteelly at where a somewhat ruffled Papercut and Crosswind were studying a painting, and proceeded past the "Do Not Enter - Under Construction" signs with only a little twinge of guilt for breaking the rules.
He stopped outside of the suite under construction with little butterflies of nervous tension fluttering around in his stomach. Backing out now was still a possibility, even if it could mean disaster for his family, bankruptcy for his parents, and the kind of disgrace that could not be lived down. Even now, he had only trusted two ponies with the full details of this secret, and both of them had been quite supportive of his decision, which meant that the time for planning was over and it was now time for action.
“Showtime,” whispered Green Grass as he pushed the unlocked door open.
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Now to see the episode
Presto!
Blueblood just doesn't know when to quit...
6676703
Celestia should just put him in an arranged marriage he cannot get out of to be done with him doing this shit. Treehugger would be a good choice. Or maybe one of Rip Claw's Daughters.
Wait, so even with knowing who the poisener was, the emperor is still planning on not attending the wedding? To the extent that he's going to fly away on his airship only a few hours ahead of it?
Huh. Well, I suppose if you want to go with that definition of 'before'. Technically speaking, he did die in front of her, though, assuming that he was the assassin after all.
Oh Papercut, you are hopeless.
Much better!
Hahaha!
Heh.
Hmn.
Dangit, Flash, be better than to work for Blueblood.
Also, Blueblood, stop being so terrible.
Welp, here we go.
Oh Flash, I like you. I bet you know when an evening ends and the night begins. Show time!
Dang, so much sneaking around and nobody has caught Celestia sneaking into the pastry kitchen for some late night cake. I can't wait to see what Greenie and Blueblood each have planned. Hopefully Blueblood's plan goes up in flames.
6677056
...It's a Blueblood plan. Of course it is.
6677056 I can assure you that no fire will be involved.
6676999 6676757
That would be Royal Guard Flash Sentry and Prince Blueblood. One gives orders, one takes them.
6676703 That can be a good thing, if some kind and loving alicorn points him in the right direction, and another one gets his attention first.
6676724 No comment.
6677118
It is the conjugation.
Time travel certainly plays hob with Equestrian grammar. Do you have any idea how hard it is to ensure subject/verb agreement that will have been happening in a present point in future past because it will not occur yet? Things tend to get a wee bit complicated when temporal frames of reference, light cones, and observer effects get involved; the pithy Stallmark writers are not temporal physicists (yet).
Forget the Hounds of Telaos! Far, far worse is to raise the ire of grammar Nazis past, present, and future with your improperly declined verbs!
"Self-contradiction" can be found in the "Meta" section right next to the "Self-referential meta" section in the "Meta" section...
6677133
That "No Comment" is very telling.
6677200 Lady Bruunhilde, from Stalliongrad. Fortunately, she likes a stallion that can stand under her without lowering his head...
Nice chapter, Georg. While this fic coming to an end will be sad, the building conclusion is worth the wait.
And it is only at this point that I realize this scale was devised by Discord.
When it comes to trying to get ahead of alicorns, it doesn't how early in the morning you wake up. You shouldn't have ever fallen asleep.
Very interesting that the mysterious figure is described as "a green servant in a dark jacket," emphasis mine. There seems to be much more here than meets the eye.
This is going to end interestingly for Blueblood. Probably to his betterment... though I suspect he wouldn't agree for quite some time. Still, I will be very surprised if his plan has results that even resemble his expectations.
As for Greenie... Well, that remains to be seen.
6677118 I thought that was because Twilight suddenly slammed into Ripping Claw, I doubt the Assassin was aiming for her when he had such a big target.
6677133 Not even Twilight going Rapidash with Moltres wings mode????
Hah! "Incarceration"
Heh. They're a patient bunch
Translation to Papercut: Crosswind needs to get laid, badly. Get on with it already.
Finally! You better not stick to preening this time
"Stress Relief"? I think you can skip another hour or two
Oh. Different stress relief. I see. Wow. she needs even more stress relief than rebalancing her chemicals?
Twilight can't help being a step ahead of everyone else; it's all on her schedule, after all
That idiot really doesn't know when to quit
Newsflash, Blueblood. You're not the hero in this story. You're not even the primary antagonist. You're the comic relief
Huh. That's the same one Papercut failed to bribe?
To be fair, he's good with foals. He could probably talk his way out of a filly scout assault.
"Well what else would you use?" - Discord
Um. Yikes?
I read this and could only think
Sky: "Psst, should we tell my father?"
Gilda: "Psst. Yes. We have just enough time left to implement and make it look like he planned it this way all along."
Sky: "Psst, brilliant."
Gilda: "Psst, indeed, I'm glad the emperor came up with it."
Luna: "Yes, Tia?"
Luna: "But, why doe?"