My friends my be better, but I stick with being myself which is better than being a king.
When a terrible accident happens to Celestia, the fate of Equestria hangs in the balance of her recovery. Everypony is concerned and wondering who did it. When the guards look back at the scene all of the evidence points to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is punished, and her five friends are devastated by it. Twilight knows that she didn't do it, but she has to find out who did.
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They hung her without a trail or a chance to prove her innocence? That's uncivil and hasty so when will you update again?
5826760
Nigga, when it comes to killing Rainbow Dash, you shouldn't be complaining.
5826862 hahahahaha good point hey give my new fic a read woulda.
Ok. For starters: grammar, punctuation and such seems to be O.K. (didn't search too enthusiastic, so there may some typos have slipped through)
But the story itself...
This intro just don't make sense.
I mean - you can do the things you describe here. But it is just much too rushed and leaves open logic gaps as big as the Ghastly Gorge.
Sentenced to death because of a matching hoofprint? And a witness who saw RD flying away from Canterlot? Even given hoofprints are the same different as fingerprints. There are a bazillion reasons why RD could be in Canterlot... as Element of Loyalty and direct agent for the Princesses like the other fives. So you would find hoofprints of them most likely all over the place.
Then this whole drumhead-trial-thing. I would think, by something as large as (attempt) regicide they would be very, very careful. Not necessarily to save one innocent, but to catch the actual assassin. It wouldn't solve anything to kill some random pony, and to spare the real killer, who is running free the whole time...
Then given RD actual DID something. She would be most probable under some spell or potion. As Equestria happens to be a magical world, they surely know cases of diminished responsibility because of will-breaking magic. At this point the spell-caster would be the one who will be hunted down. The merely tool of its evil deeds is as guilty as, say, a dagger. Here applies the same as above. Its just for no use to kill some random pony, if the true killer roams free.
In short: Rainbow has nothing like a motive for doing what she did (or not did). She is the Element of Loyalty. So stripping her of all her credibility just because of a hoofprint and a witness of doubtful use, sentencing her to death on the fly and execute the verdict like on a war front is to much for my suspense of disbelief. Things won't become true, just because they are written down.
If you want to pull this stunt, give your story 2.000 or 5.000 words more in setting up a trap for Rainbow. Create something like a plausible motive, and a hoard of (fake)-evidence. Let your reader actually buy what happened.
5826885
You missed the one in the chapter title?
5826874
Promoting your own story in the comments of someone else's story is tacky and rude.
5826975 meh deal with it scoota is a firend of mine.
5826969
As said - I didn't search for typos. And I have
readdeciphered things far worse. As long as you can read it out loud, and try to hear something useful from the echoes its fine.And further its no typo - its proper german writing.
5826995 I see what you mean now.
5826989
That doesn't make it any less of a dick move. PM your friend, don't clutter someone else's comments.
And I may just go ahead and read one of your stories... because from what I can see in your comments, odds are good I'm not going to like it one bit.
5827019 At Least I left an actaul comment here unlike you so if you don't want to clutter the comments kindly get over it and weather you like it or not reading my fic will still make me very happy!
Woah, woah, woah. During a hanging, it takes 30 seconds until unconsciousness, 3-5 minutes to brain death, and 20 minutes until the heart stops. Twilight must have been taking her sweet time.
5827041 it can't be instant if the neck snaps. I don't see why dash just didn't fly when she was dropped should have saved her life
5827147
I assume "useless" means she couldn't breathe.
5827172 like I said she shoulda used her wings
5827180 I agree with you there. But we're ignoring the big issue: we're having this argument, which proves that the story is confusing.
5827180 The author at least could have put more details or explanation in his or her story.
5827196 haha yep I wished the author would reply and tell us when he/ she is going to update.
Sorry, I haven't been replying to the comments, I was at brunch. Anyway, I am going to try to update the story by next weekend or sooner. Oh and also, in the story it says that her wings were tied, that's why she couldn't get away.
5827542 ah okie dokie if you want I can help you out if you want/need some ideas and stuff
Loving this!
thank god for spoilers, I love not wasting my team reading something I'd rather not
I smell Treachery. Luna, are you trying to kill your sister again?
Anyway love the story and with the speed of the accusations and punishment, along with other clues, I think it is safe to say Twilight will have her hooves full proving Rainbow Dash was innocent and keeping Celestia safe. I can't wait to read more.
I just reread this and thought about changelings and wondered why they didn't assume it was them.
OMG! MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! And just saying .... Why there no trial ;-;
Nice story. I wish you would talk more about how Rainbow was restrained with the rope. that stuff is really awesome to read.
I’m sorry this comment has to be so negative but I hate this one, there are so many things wrong with this fic that it’s just too much for me. I’m sorry, but it’s going to be a thumbs down for this fic.
also, I have a feeling that dash was framed