• Member Since 8th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen July 10th

MrVoorhees


Anime, video games, monster movies, and creepypastas are what I am


Comments ( 27 )

I think you should change the cover art. It is the same as the original Fallout Equestria.

I don't know whether or not to like or dislike this.

Well, I think you need an editor. Aside from the abundance of grammatical mistakes and missing words, the whole thing went by way too fast and gave us no connection to Sharpshooter. Like, none at all. It was actually pretty boring despite how short it was.

If you want us to feel invested in the characters and their world, then you need to put more time into displaying them. That means not having ten pages of information cropped down to four and left with the bare minimum.

Get an editor, invest more time in the character and settings, and I am sure that this story can recover from its rocky start.

-JB

5603158 he also didn't state what kind of pony he was, what he looked like, or all of that for his family!

5603375 Hence, more time needed with the character and settings. Though, until proven otherwise, I am going to assume that Sharpshooter is an earth pony, because they are awesome. :ajsmug:

Edit: an earth pony with natural colors, too. None of that weird, neon colors or overly contrasting stuff. :ajbemused:

5603404 I think it would be Interesting for him to be a neon pegusus! Ttfn!

5603425 Like a neon green and yellow? Or blue and pink? Or a sparkly rainbow neon thingy that glitters every time they move? :rainbowwild:

5603450
To be honest and please don't get mad for me saying this butt I wanted to keep it a mystery until chapter 2. :twilightsheepish:
I did like seeing you guys trying to figure out what he would look like, so that little experiment worked. :twilightblush: I also wanted to keep his family a secret as well. Its fun to speculate ya know? However...Sharpshooter will be revealed in the next chapter, but that might be awhile.

A young male pony is a colt and you used their/there/they're improperly.

Oh, no way! New chapta! And long one! :rainbowlaugh:
OH, okay, fuck dead fillies, keep writing. Make it long as Project Horizons. :pinkiecrazy:

6009650
Well I don't know if its gonna be as long as Project Horizons (dear lord I wish I could) but their will be more gruesome scenes like the Filly Ghouls. :ajsmug:

Fuck! Okay not bad story, keep writing it. :pinkiehappy:

This is an interesting story accept some escpects are a bit different from the other fallout stories

Filly = young girl
Colt = young boy
Throws me off when you say filly when it's a boy

Oh, fuck! Shit happens.:trixieshiftleft:
Look you need to put more words in chapters like this more details and everything. I care how things happens. This is story not game.:ajsmug:
Good chapta keep writing:twilightsmile:

Oh, adventures continue! Yay!:pinkiehappy:

Aww.. Yep pony will remember.:pinkiesad2:
Okay! Congratulations! Complete foe fic! :pinkiehappy:
I am proud of you sir.:moustache:

5623634 :D

Also: Good job, you just need to work on puncuation. :D

*coughcough* RedDeadRedemption *coughcough*

6073353
Thanks for reading! Check out The Dark Ones when you get the time. :twilightsmile:

6073902
Yep I knew someone who get that scene! :rainbowlaugh:

6029106
God this is a late reply. :rainbowlaugh:

That was my point in writing this story was to make it different. :twilightsmile: and in the end people enjoyed it for that.

Login or register to comment