• Member Since 13th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen September 13th

Creative Punch


I write silly stories about ponies. Beware

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Sweetie Belle has developed a bit of a crush. But to her, its too weird and trying to deal with it confuses her. One day, Rarity comes with news though that will force her to come to terms with it and try to sort it out or lose him.

So this turned out to be way more popular then I thought. Originally it was going to be one part that got turned in for hearts and hooves day contest over at EQD. Them being the guys they are did not accept it. That being said, at over 500 views this is my most popular story so far. And alot of folks have asked me to expand it. So Thats what I plan to do. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 53 )

nicely done, :twilightoops: Crazy Book Alicorns?:moustache::unsuresweetie::twilightoops:

5613040

In my mind, Twilight is totaly abusing her power to amass the largest library equestria has ever seen. And no one cares!

Does he actually have his wings yet? I always wondered how he'd plan on joining the migration in the first place considering he didn't have his wings yet to keep up with them.

The story needs more focus, it seems a bit off track from really clicking as a story. There are lots of side elements that feel like they get in the way, and the dialogue could use an edit.

5613509

I actually agree with some of that. The side elements though I thought made the story feel a bit more real to life (he says as he talks about his magic pony fanfic). I think thats from having to cut things short so it could make the eqd contest date. Do you think if I broke it down into chapters and used those to expand on things it would make it better or do you think I just plain old needed to focus more?

5613353 Honestly no. In the show when he went to join the great dragon migration he walked. Even when he got greedy and grew up from hoarding treaure I dont remeber him having wings.

In my mind, if he was able to keep up with it by walking when he was a kid, it just made sense to me he'd walk as an adult.

5613931 Did he really "keep up" with it though. I thought he just got a lucky break when they decided to stop for a rest in that crater. Since it's a migration, he'd get left behind at some point.

5613990

I guess thats all true. Still in my mind he was born without wings so he wont get any. It would be like saying unicorns are born without horns and then grow them when they hit maturity. Sure it could happen, but it seems kinda off.

It would be really nice to see this story expanded. Right now its too condense and the only thing I get from reading it is that there should be so much more to the story.

5614591

Well, this has been my most popular story so far with 250 views in less then 24 hours. Its also gotten so much positive praise (even the negative comments have been constructive) that I can promise you Il'l be expanding on it.

Ive also got another project that Im taking my time with thats a Chrysilis x Shining Armor story that Im gonnna be working on at the same time too.

5613928
I wouldn't complain if you were to make it into a longer story, but if it is a short one shot you need to focus.
I mean you have a Snails and AB together, Scoot & Twist as a surprise coupling, and Rarity moving away with SB being resistant to that big of a change. The romance books (a common thread), and Spike leaving (immediacy of SB feelings being shared) help the main romance. All of these are good elements in and of themselves, but they have relatively nothing to do with the main story. So Twist comes up with a plan and Snails is used to convince Spike. While they are there for a reason, it just doesn't help the story enough to include them. I hope you improve, this was a good story idea. Best CMC member, and one of the better ships for Spike in my opinion.

5620685 Honestly that was very helpful. I've actully been debating a bit on how to expand it and what parts to polish up and what needed more attention. Thank you very much.

5620685

Also, thanks for black boxing spoilers. I know not every one does that.

Sweetie's sugar dragon!

Prove the critics wrong Sweetie Belle and go to Spike and announce your love to him.

I want these chapters faster :raritycry:

5667001

Gotta be patient, don't worry though more are coming. Just gotta type them up. Heck, I've even got two other story ideas on hold till I finish this one. Though to be honest I think if people knew the conditions under which I write most would be either upset, laughing hysterically, or face palming.

This is a really good story so far. I'm definitely keeping my eye on it. cant wait for more chapters some time soon I hope. :pinkiehappy:

5674723

There is more coming. It's slowed down a little from some depression acting up but no worries, more is coming. If it helps I have more stories you can read to keep you buys reading till then :derpytongue2:

Oh don't worry its understandable for projects to be delayed due to real life stuff :applejackunsure: But hay its worth the wait and I've actually started to write my own Spikebelle fanfic, first chapter should be out tomorrow just needs to be it proof read. Its called The Gift of a Dragons Heart if your interested :twilightsheepish:

5682162

Sure, I'd love to give it a looking over when I get a moment (Be forewarned though, these days time is sorta hard to come by) I can even offer you advice if you would like though nothing grammar wise as I stink at grammar. It was my worst subject in school after all

More! haha, glad to see these are coming out at a good pace.

Good to see another chapter out, its a really good fic so far. :pinkiehappy:

5687185

Thanks. Though my next literature post is gonna be of a different story I did for a friend. Hope yall like some Twilight and boulder action. :derpytongue2:

5689446

Thank you much. I think I might be part changling now since love of my fics seem to give me power

5691254 Well as long as your not one of those bad changings, but anyway your fic is really good and I cannot wait to read more. As for this twilight x bolder thing well why the hay not, I should probably read something that isn't a spikebelle fic. I'm shore you will make it great. :pinkiehappy:

Yay more chapters, I like how you put Scootaloo and Twist together its a good ship idea. Sweeties confession was a little sudden in my opinion, I thought she was sad about Rarity moving but it still works well. Love this story cant wait for more. :pinkiehappy:

:moustache::heart::raritywink::heart::unsuresweetie::heart::moustache:

The fan is on high power. 5 4 3 2 1 GO !

5704710 Yeah, it feels a touch rushed now that I go back and re read it.

On the flip side though, thanks. I was trying to figure who would date since to me, just cause you are childhood friends doesn't mean you're gonna date. So like AB and Scoot going out just doenst sound right. I used to live in a small town for a long time and folks would date there who obviously werent perfect matches and always had weird stories for how and why they got together so I used some experiences from that to put them together.

5766463 And there's three more chapters just waiting to be edited before getting posted XP

Sweetie Belle can still tell him no matter what the outcome is.

Aaawwww poor sweetie belle, also yay another chapter :pinkiehappy:

5769743

Yup, just three more to go now. And two and a half of them are written already.:yay:

5767332

Some folks just need a push sometimes. I'm sure she'll get hers son enough.

5802964 I'm holding the next chapter hostage for 1000 views! Just kidding. Honestly I wish you could see the unpublished chapters. You'd feel alot better about how much is coming your way.

If you'd like though I'd be happy to tell you how the process from blank document to published on FimFiction goes. Explains some of why the process takes so long for certain chapters.

Opal should motivate Sweetie.

5871581 the cat? Now all I've got is the image of opal sitting on her head and refusing to move till sweetie confesses.

Because of several problems with the story I've detailed here, I'm rejecting this from the Goodfic Bin Submissions.

im still like the jury is out...i like the short story but i really like all additions cause it feels exactly the same just with more details

Sweetie sat there. Her mind begging for it to be easy even though she had no clue how that would have been. In her mind she imagined a different conversation. One in which her question was answered with Rarity handing her secret to Spike's love over.
"I mean....are you gonna leave spike behind too?"
Rarity gave her a weak smile. Trotting to the other side of the table she sat down. "In a way, yes. He's always welcome to visit. I know he's had a.......thing for me but, it's been years. He should move on. Everyone knows it would never work out anyway. I'm so much older then him and.....besides, a pony and a dragon together in that way? It's just, too weird for me."

Sweetie started to fidget as she looked away. "Well I'm a unicorn and he's a...umm...ea-"
"A dragon?" Rarity interrupted. A wry smile on her face as Sweetie started to sniffle a little.
"How'd you know?"
Rarity chuckled a bit. "He's been chasing after me for years, over here every chance he gets. Trust me, I started to notice a while back when he started noticing you. And I think he'd be good for you."
"But he's a dragon and I'm a unicorn...." Sweetie said as she looked down at the floor.
"And? Does it matter? You've grown into a fine young mare. Are you really going to let what others think stop you from being happy?"

RArity, you're a fucking hypocrite. It's already bad enough that you admit to leading him on all this time knowing that you will not reciprocate his feelings and as it was nice of you to nudge Spike in Sweetie Belle's direction (obviously because Sweetie Belle liked him first and Rarity saw this from a mile away), but the thing that rubs me badly is where she says to Sweetie Belle that a pony dating a dragon is too weird for her taste. And yet, in the same story she tell Sweetie Belle to go get her dragon because Sweetie needs to tell Spike what she really feels. Apparently Rarity's too prissy to even think about another male creature other than another pony (more than likely an unicorn) for courting purposes, but she's proud of her sister having the nuts to listen to her heart regardless of the species of her potential special somepony.

I've seen this story before, and I know it's a SpikeBelle, but still it just rustles me a bit. I'm happy that Rarity gets to advance in her career, but part of me doesn't want her to ever see Spike again. She turned him down, even had that tripe that ponies and dragons dating were too weird (yet she's gung-ho for Sweetie getting with Spike)--I think that she doesn't get a chance to redeem that. Yet I know that's impossible because if Sweetie and Spike do hit it off as a couple there will be times when Spike's gonna see Rarity again (more than like w/ Sweetie Belle, she and Rarity are sisters after all).

I know it's not supposed to feel that way, but I'm kinda angry at Rarity for not telling Spike she wasn't interested in the first place, I'm a little angry at Spike because it seems to me that he's just using the dragon migration as a excuse to get away from the rejection and failure of getting his crush not reciprocated, as well as failing to realize that he's got a girlfriend ready for him if he would just fucking look past the pony that isn't gonna be in Ponyville anymore anyway and wouldn't give him the time of day in the first place (hell, Rarity even said that a pony and a Dragon was weird, to her, yet she's more than happy that her sister would be so cute dating Spike--That to me is a fucking hypocrite), and I'm mad at Sweetie Belle for pretty much pussyfooting around the subject that she likes Spike. JUST FUCKING ASK HIM OUT ALREADY!!!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

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