The great and powerful Trixie, hmhm kind of a pretentious title, but I know better.
Everyone around here may say she's a show off but I think she's just a showman, or uh show woman.
After the show I went to see her, and.. I found. Out something, something even more amazing then all those magic tricks and flashy fireworks.
She has an amazing talent, but she hides it, why?
We'll that does it, my mind is made up, I'm going to help her, less is more after all and maybe the other students at Canterlot high might like her more if she stops trying so hard and just does what comes naturally
Chapters (10)
This looks rather interessting. I like both of them, and i hope the story is not to short.
I think even if some things are supposed to be funny, i hope you don´t make the romance part to short, i am not only focused at romance storys, but it is always nice to read, if it is well done.
thank you for the new chapter, i really like it, but is it me or is this a bit short?
5723973
I try to keep the chapters to a one thousand word minimum but I end the chapter when I feel it's best to move on
Keeping the chapter's short helps people keep their focus
After all so many flics now adays have chapters longer then a human life span XD
5724205 you are right about that, i read very much sometimes, and this way i can´t solve every puzzle they try to make with their storys, what i mean is some of them, try to make us guessing what could happen next or something like that, and i can´t always remember the more or less less important points of a story. (Human life span)
I guess it is just that i had tried to catch up in a story with 70-80 Chapters, which always have nearly...... (Human life span), and because of that everything else looks pretty short.
Anyway it is nice, and i hope it isn´t a short story, sometimes short chapters let me think that it could be over any minute.
5725107
Oh don't worry I'm gonna finish this carefully and give it a minimum of ten chapters possibly more
5725208 well thank you, i guess if this is going pretty well, maybe there is always the possibility for a sequel,....i feel like i would say that often enough, but sometimes i can´t help myself and ask rather soon for sequel, if i think a story is going to be very good.
I would have to read it again, but it looks like he would already know that he like her, or he just realized that he could really love her if something like this should happen, but i don´t think that he haven´t thought about it.
The second thing is, i am not sure how much Trixie is thinking about their relationship, i think she could just see him as a really good friend right now, and just don´t notice that she like him already, or she already start to think about him in a different way, but right now i think she sees him as a very...very very very good friend.
oh i forgot, that was one of the best chapters for me till now.
should he not write a message for his parents? If i would sleep anywhere else, it would somehow startle me, if someone would enter my room and wake me up because they needed something there, and didn´t knew i was there, i mean they don´t know her yet.
Okay now i somehow expect his parents to wake trixie up, in my friends home somethin like that could happen, because he has his washer in the same room, where his guest can sleep.
Anyway, good joob.
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5727838
Thanks also as far as the note thing goes well that's something you can add in if you like but I think it either goes without saying or isn't relivent since in other fics I've read it never was XD
Just one thing to say...
MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!
Seriously though, more please. I love this story :) and this is coming from someone who hates human fanfics.
If you need someone to spell check your work I'm more than happy to!
i honestly don´t know what to think about his parents, i can understand his mother, but his father seems rather emotional, it is unusually and strange to read about this kind of father. I gues the father is his mother and the mother is a....well, his father just seems to be more emotional than even his mother.
Well nothing bad, i am just a bit carefull about some things, i mean i saw some storys where the chapters were with to much sugar, and other sweet stuff. The worst example i have a the moment, would be one story, where Pinkie Pie adopted two young and shy girls, everytime, and i mean every time, the other ponys had to make sounds like "awwww", "daawwww","cute,sweet,...... , that would be nothing bad, if they would not overreact in this kind of way. I mean you could think that they have to get used to their level of cuteness, at least a bit.
Befor i say to much, i actually don´t wanted to complain, i just suddenly had to think about that really bad story, in some way, and i only think his father is a bit strange.
"sigh young love", made him look like the usual girl in......an anime i suppose.
honestly i don´t like that chapter as much as the others.
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Is it because the story is taking a sad turn? Or because of something else ?
5733112 well i can try to explain it, one of my first thoughts was, that he is a bit more emotional, or at least that he is crying rather easy, i don´t know if he had a reason to be that affraid, but i can understand his concern.
The second reason is, that i thought in the last chapter, the talent show would start already, even if i thought it was to soon, i somehow got the idea it would start already.
the third, maybe first good reason is, i guess i didn´t liked the time skip, that made me feel again, like some things where rushed.
Well as the chapter was still fresh in my mind, i thought i had more reasons, or at least more important reasons, but i guess there isn´t really much that happened, that i could really like, i mean i have nothing against the sad scene, but then there was only the timeskip and him buying a present. I guess you should have at least add the part, where he gave her the present.
Because of my third reason, i suddenly realized, that i probably could simply say, that the chapter don´t feels complete for me.
Still a good story, but there isn´t much that made this chapter special for me.
5733392
Yeah I guess the story is kind of prone to time skips
I'm still kinda new at this, when I'm on a role I produce pure gold but then when the energy burns up I, sort of run dry and need to recharge like a battery, gues I could use a cowriter to help in some areas.
Also as to the emotional part I did say in the first chapter I believe that the reader character was based on me
It's not easy to make me mad but it can be fairly easy to upset me as I am very emotional and can be made to cry quite easily depending on the sci aria, guess it's my autism
5733443 Well, it is nothing bad, it is just that i sometimes try to see myself in the position of the main Char, and then i think i would probably not Cry, or at least don´t act quite this way.
You already said it would be around....12 chapters i believe, and then i think it is more or less normal, that you have already that much, i don´t know how you do it at home, but i guess i would say, rather take your time, than hurry to bring a new chapter out.
5733658
Ok thanks Tex I'll try
I think I'm going to take a break for now then possibly come back and merge a few of the chapters so there 's fewer slit lay longer chapters then lots of short ones, perhaps adding a few more details and then moving on to new chapters