• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Feb 21st, 2015

rhysofpeace


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Kharn the betrayer was always happy with his lot in life, he got to kill and maim in the name of Khorne the blood God and just generally cause havoc, however due to the actions of a single cowardly psyker he finds himself in a land of...pastel coloured ponies? this is his story.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 47 )

Rightyo then. I'm chucking this out here so you guys can act as my pre-readers and critics I'm doing this to get any and all possible mistakes out in my first fic before i go writing the main one that i plan on doing sometime after this one (if i get any better of course...but even if I'm sod poor ima still gonna do it anyways:derpytongue2:) so i want honest opinions peoples.
:flutterrage:POINT OUT ALL MAH MISTAKES!!!!!

Short chapter cos i didn't want to start out to big and ponies comin in chapter two...so yeah...

Omg.....I cannot wait for chapter two :D

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!

Bro there's a thing called a full stop. Use it.

Otherwise alright it's good.

I think people are too blinded by the excessive win to find fault.

Am I the only one who thinks this idea would work better as a comedy?!

MAIM! KILL! BURN!

This is a Khorne-approved fiction.

Kharn hated all heretical followers of the false god but none more so then the cowardly psykers hiding behind their warp spawned powers a trait he shared with his patron God Khorne the chaos lord of war who had gifted him with his unholy protection giving him an immunity to all psykers abilities, beneath his helmet Kharn smiled, he'd have to kill this one slowly and ensure that every last drop of blood left it's body to make up for the disappointing battle.


PUNCTUATION, MAN.
PUNCTUATION.
we've got a multi-sentence pile-up here.

let's see if this helps any:
Kharn hated all heretical followers of the false god, but none more so then the cowardly psykers. They hid behind their warp spawned powers, but what good were they against his unholy blessing from Khorne, a god of the warp? Beneath his helmet Kharn smiled. He'd have to kill this one slowly and ensure that every last drop of blood left it's body. It might just make up for the disappointing battle.

Despite a lack of punctuation, I will definitely give this a track.

As much as I love where this is going, You should REALLY split it up some more, It's like a humongous wall of text!

And dialogue, you can never have enough Dialogue.

Anyway, looking forward for more!

622877 kinda what i wanted to go for but when i had that as one of the tags it failed moderation (mainly due to the fact that there was a serious clusterfuck of tags)

623691 that does sound a whole lot better, cheers:yay:

*sniff* I smell.. GOOOREEE :pinkiecrazy: Me wantee!

Give us blood and souls of the innocents or we shall smite you with:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/08/LGwashingmachine.jpg/220px-LGwashingmachine.jpg
A WASHING MACHINE!

What do you mean "we"? :pinkiecrazy:

I mean you and me!

Since when do you acknowlege me as a part of you?:pinkiecrazy:

Umm... Okay, just shut the hell up and let me at least pretend I'm normal and don't have multiple personalities!

Feh, you suck at pretending anyway!:pinkiecrazy:

Aaaanyway here's a crowbar for some reason:
westernstageprops.com/miva/graphics/00000001/pm56lr.jpg
Erm... Move along citizen!

RELEASE TRUE CHAOS INTO THE PITIFUL WORLD OF EQUESTRIA!!!!! IT IS TAINTED WITH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP AND MUST BE EXTERMINATED!!!!! THEY BOW TO FALSE GODS AND IN TURN INSULT THE IMPERIUM OF MANKIND!!!!! THEYZ IZ TINY AND EEZY TA CRUSH SO LETS SMASH EM UPZ GOOD BOYZ!!!! FRESH MEAT!!!!! Equestria is screwed. They pissed of the Chaos Gods, the Imperium of Mankind, provided new sustinence for the Tyranids, and have attracted the Orcs/Orks.

well this is my attempt at a cliffhanger :trollestia: to be honest i was on the fence about continuing this because, while i had planned out the majority of the storyline, i could not for the life of me think of a non crappy way to get Kharn in to Equestria but then this guy http://www.fimfiction.net/user/BrynThom came up to me and if it wasn't for him i don't know if this fic would have even made it to chapter 2 so enjoy i guess.

p.s mistakes have i made any?

In the words of Totallynotabrony, and I paraphrase slightly "One way to deal with clichés is to use them as a starting place to go somewhere else."
Even if the way to get Khan into Equestira is a bit crappy, that's unimportant. The move is merely a way of moving the story along, to get the crux of the plot. In the grand scheme we don't care how he gets there, only what he does while he's there.
So the upshot of this comment is, don't sweat the details, get on with the overall story.

hmmm "effecively makeing the rift permanant"?

when it comes to chaos, permament portals are never a good thing to have:trollestia:

I hope this doesn't end up like that My Little Crull - Friendship is Chaos story. Basically, Chaos Lord Crull gets transported to Equestria and after being poisoned by manticore venom he becomes too weakened psychically to feel the urge to kill everyone and everything. While still amusing, it got a little too childish and weird. A deranged, murderous Chaos Lord becomes a friendly neighbor.... Never saw that coming.

710138 Kharn? weakened physically? :rainbowlaugh: no kharn's still gonna be his bloodthirsty self. Besides aren't astertes built with such epic immunity systems that they are pretty much impervious to poisons and the like?:rainbowhuh:

710291
Think he got stung in the neck or something (Crull doesn't wear a helmet as I recall). Even so, I'm pretty sure the story was ment for comedy.

Please coninue and finish the whole story.

712707 A shame then, that there aren't any on board....

712926 I shall do my best

710073 huh ....i never thought of it like that. That makes me feel a whole lot better about writing this now... for your help i shall award you these questionable wafflest2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRrUKC6KmMJ7fAhhqy6Chp-ozIcGgo81IHNwrxt1F6jRf3fQkKj .

You know what guys i have no excuse whatsoever for taking so long to get this out...just know that i feel really bad...and it was steams fault....and 6th edition's fault.....and other things....lots of other things <.< >.> ...yes....that sounds right..

...looking at this now there's not a lot of Kharn in this chapter....ima have to remedy that in the next chapter

No forgiveness for Time but still happeh:trollestia:

media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5411/861501-khan_thumb.jpg
Also, holy sweet molely! Trixie's going to change in her Showmare Cutie Mark for a Cutie Mark of Tzeench! What fun that will be.

It's said that Tzeentch guised himself as a book once. Is this true?

976217th1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff444/Zidjianisabeast/Rage%20Faces/th_okay-face.jpg

976495 As far as i'm aware i don't think so...he'd probably have to manifest in the physical world for there to be any reason for him to do that and i don't believe that the Chaos gods can actually do that, otherwise 40k would just be game of getting screwed over by evil gods......although i totally can see him doing it just for teh lulz

976463 ..that image....just made my day

976601no need for sadness. But rlly wut took so long:rainbowhuh:

976685 ....im putting all the blame on the 6th edition and steam summer sales ...nothing to do with me at all...i might have been a little bit lazy and easily distracted..a little bit.

976786 indeed she is

Can't Kharne just get into Equestria already?

That's what I am waiting for!

980141 alright fine next chapter, just for you, i'll change the entire plan i've got written down to have a magic splosion occur that results in Kharn waking up, slightly dazed and very drunk , in front of Luna at which point they immediately, he doesn't even pull his helmet off, begin making out...actually...the more i think about...the more i sort of want it to happen.....*shudders*

This brought a tear to my eye, I think I'm in love....

Ah come on man!

You cannot tell me you already gave up! You didn't even cross them over yet!

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