• Member Since 29th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Pickleless


A man is driving home, thinking about beating his wife. Along the way, he passes a turtle. I am that turtle.

T

Twilight Sparkle has a lot on her chest that she wants to get off. She knows about the time old practice of pretending to write a letter to the pony bothering you and not sending it, but that's not enough. Frustrated, she invents a system where her letter gets sent to a creature from another dimension. She feels gratification from actually sending something and there's no way some creature from another universe could know her language. As it turns out, the other mares have complaints too, and Twilight is more than happy to help her friends!

Flash Sentry is a normal high school student who somehow keeps getting magic letters full of some REALLY messed up stuff...

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 451 )

HAHAHA! Oh man, of all the billions of people...

How am supposed to know that ponies can bend and stretch like I can?

I think you meant 'can't'.

And thus, a new Best Ship was born.

Huh indeed, Flash.

Huh indeed.

Yikes, Rainbow. At first it was an adorable inversion on Scootorphan, and dayum that got dark quick!

Does soda really harm ponies?

Good idea, Flash.

Heh heh. This has been one fun ride.

5589763
I was so determined to not have any noticeable glaring mistakes.

5589780
Real ponies can't burp, so you can't give them things like soda.

Comment posted by zerodex deleted Feb 6th, 2015

Probably for the best

Nonagon #15 · Feb 5th, 2015 · · 31 · Rarity ·

Most of these chapters have been appropriately on (or, well, off) the mark. Did we really need a transphobic joke in here?

5589883
non magical sapient ponies, you mean.

"...constantly lick Rarity..."
I'm done

best ending :rainbowlaugh:
don't drink Soda kids

And at that moment a new ship was born. And pony twilight whet crazier

5589780 I always thought it was tomatoes that did em in.

You know, I've noticed that in almost every fix I've read that has a transgendered character, it's Rarity. Why is that? Is it because she's the most stereotypically feminine that it's somehow funnier that she used to be a man?

5590772
>>SgtFrog
It has more to do with rarity being the most attractive+euphemistic+narcissistic pony; these are entertaining traits that are even more entertaining when rule63'd.

Ok, thumbs up just for this first letter.:pinkiehappy:

I absolutely have to read everything of this story, right now! :rainbowlaugh:

Now that was quite cute :twilightsmile:

Combo breaker.
Or not.

Huh.

Poor guy doesn't know it's from a different world. Also homicidal Dash. Well... :rainbowlaugh:

Aww! So sweet of pony Derpy, then human Flash. And just because everyone else agrees, HUZZAH! for best new Ship!

I can't decide which chapter was the best. They were all amazing :rainbowlaugh:

Killing Joke would turn her into a tree. So could Nyx.

5590704 Remember those hayburgers Twilight was snarfing down? Puts the ketchup on her face into a new light doesn't it? Maybe she's been depressed since getting her wings and decided it's not worth it anymore.

Sir you must make a fic based on this chapter now. For the sake of comedy.

Flash you don't get it. Nothing can save you from Stalker Twilight.

The first letter earned you a like. The last one earned you a fave. :pinkiehappy:
You need a regular editor, though.

Pacce #49 · Feb 5th, 2015 · · 29 · Rarity ·

yaaaaay, transphobia.
:trixieshiftright:

5590772

Maybe because she is the most... Ummm.... flamboyant of the main cast. Dare I say.... drag queenish?

Fake eyelashes!

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