A human in his mid thirties that makes his living off of online video games that he designed and by writing about ponies. When he gets his chance to go anywhere he wants, he opts to visit Equestria, despite more sane options being available.
Behold as our author-turned-protagonist deals with the dangers of Equestria as he attempts to make a new place for himself without looking too much like an ass. He will encounter faces he knows from before, and some that are not as they seem. Will he survive a convention traveling at the side of his new friends? Will he get his fill of Equestrian life and want to go home?
Additional Tags: Not chosen one, no super powers
Chapters (32)
Interesting story so far. I'm pretty curious about where it's going to go now.
No real issues with it, a couple small things here and there. We'll just have to see where you go with all of this.
5577686 Thanks for joining the party. You are more than free to call me out on errors, so they can be fixed. You're also welcome to shout out ideas for things to happen to our protagonist, good, bad, or odd.
Hey, not to sound like a dick or anything but this story has a male protagonist named David (well, shortened to Dave) as well. Just to avoid any confusion, you might want to consider changing his name. I know you were going for a 'you-in-Equestria' sort of deal but the trouble is, so has he. Again, not trying to come off as a jerk, just a heads-up so no one gets confused and this story gets ignored as a result.
5577947 That is... hard, being that I am David Silver. My choices are Dave and David. Being called Silver is irritating.
I mean, I don't want to run anyone/pony's story over but I did not pick my name.
5577964
Fair enough, fair enough. Like I said, just a heads-up, not trying to step on toes here.
5577947 Just cause they have the same name doesn't make two stories similar. Look at all the Anon in Equestria stories. They all have the same name, but they are all different.
5578143
I realize that, believe me. Again, just trying to save confusion, that's all. Not trying to upset anyone.
Well, if you really want us to tell you what you did wrong, the shitty description is a start.
5577947 I have read multiple stories with a human in Equestria named David. Who cares
a credit card is more like an encrypted code printed on a plastic card that, when use it, send a message to the bank who spend the money he hold for his client.
5578949 This is entirely true, but I'm not sure the relevance? There was no reason for David to go into how it works, since that just brings up more questions about a chunk of plastic he can't even use. Ultimately it would come down to 'magic' 'oh'.
5578492 What are you looking for in the description?
5579578 In a description I look for something actually about the story, not the author sarcastically apologizing that the story exists. It needs to summarize the story you set up, hook potential readers, and still not give anything important away. Some people on this website might ignore it, but others like me will walk away without even reading it when you have a description like that. I have several hundred unread stories in my to do list and I won't add another one if it doesn't interest me first.
this story is good keep it up man
5580010 Sorry, I really don't have a lot more to say. Dude shows up, and I'm making things up as I go, as I did/still do with my other story. It has an even less cohesive start, which makes writing a description ahead of time quite a challenge. I'll be sure to come back later, when stuff has happened.
There's no grand and epic narrative to describe, besides dude shows up and deals with pony life. Hmm, actually, I think I just thought of a better way of describing it.
PS: The apology was humor, sorry if the joke fell flat.
5580039 Well I see that you intended it to be funny, but I'm going to be perfectly honest and say that my first impression was that you were trying to give people the "middle finger" by telling them that "they can like it or get out." I can't speak for others but that was my impression, at least.
5580058 How is it now?
5580062 Better. I would say to leave all meta-info out of it completely, but that's your call.
5580253 Are you calling me fat?
Maybe... a little...
pony counterpart?
5580301 My OC, which was literally designed to be 'me, if I was a pony.' way back when one of my artists(Sita Duncan) offered me a free OC for giving her a lot of pictures to draw (for money) when making the first Ponyfinder core book.
5580354 Ah, I think I get it now. You want some swanky spell to be cast on David to go from a little tubby to a little muscular when he's freaking out?
5580410 Your wish has been granted! Note, I really don't want to do super powers, as noted in the desc, so expect hilarity.
"Patch Up smirked before shaking his head"
Patch is female
5586341 Thanks, fixed!
5586651 np looking foreword to the next chapter
5588424 My goal is one chapter a day, 2ksh words, though it rests slightly lower in priority, so on weekends it's not a sure thing.
5588472 Any most/least favorite parts?
5591507 Heh, thanks for the comment. I don't seem to be getting a ton of them. :D I hope my story isn't that dull.
Have him run into the Broken Lords, an age old race of Humanoid suits of armor that are nigh invincible and can kill stuff with the flick of their hand. Cus this can totally end in only happiness and rainbows.
But for real, if you need an ending, theres one right there XD
:)
5591965 Your avatar reveals you may have a slight bias with that idea. I'm not big on endings, we're just starting after all!
5592214 I was just being inadvertently sardonic.
Anyways, a real option that would be cool would be to have him encounter the timber wolves. people so often forget about those awesome ass wolves that combine to form the MLP equivalent of voltron.
:)
5592226 Timberwolves, got it! We can run with this.
Ok just reading the synopsis makes me think he needs to run into blue feathered herm gryphons.... now to actually read the story...
5593822 What part of the description implies that?
Twinkles op, deice please nerf
5597502 Twilight is the show-sanctioned Mary Sue.
5597574 dat why we love her...even when they make her stupid as hell
5577686 You've been quiet. Like, dislike? I hunger for feedback.
5580128 You'll be happy to know all meta information has been scrubbed.
So what do you think of the story?
5610345 I can be an awful tease. Thanks foe reading.
I almost stoped reading, don't do that again, only in the season 2 alright
5611290 Didn't mean to alarm. Season 2?
5611477 if yo have a sequel of course but if you don't well *open an portal to hell* you got a ticket to- ops... *close the portal and open another one to the moon* you got a ticket to the moon if you know wat i mean (but seriusly dont turn this into a clop fic)
(please just dont)
5611845 They would make such an adorable couple.
5611925 That's a low blow man, a low blow.
Ooh goodness, it's so good and the slice of life is amazing. And suddenly changelings. It was so heavily hinted by her "special talent" that I thought I'm just seeing things that are not there.
Sogood.
5615902 Thanks for the kind words and feedback! I'm writing the next chapter right now.
He is so going to DiE.
5616806 Not entirely impossible, though that would end our tale.
Ooh it hits the spot, and less than 24 hours after I read what was already submitted. I bet on everything gonna be fine. Or Luna's plot will never be the same. After all, black people are stereotypically supposed to have huge ones.