Luna spoke as she gestured at the ground with a wing, "Lay down. I will render you unconscious so--"
"No," said David, though he did sit down.
"No?" asked Luna, "Have you changed your mind? You will remain human?"
David shook his head, "Not that. I want to be awake. I have to be, to make this a transition, instead of a death."
Luna looked faintly perplexed, "It will be uncomfortable, but if that is your wish." With a flash of her magic, David was suddenly a foot to the left, with his clothing left behind. They fell to the ground in a heap, but Luna's attention slid to the lumps in them. She reached into his pants and pulled out his possessions. She found a phone, some cards, and a little rubber ball. She lifted the ball up and stared through it, "This has a curious magic about it. Where did you get it from?"
David felt a bit self-conscious, being naked, but tried to ignore it. He would be naked for most of his new life, so this was as good a time as any to try and get past that, as embarrassing as it might be. "I got that when I was coming here, to Equestria. It has my desk from back home, and everything on and in it. I never had a chance to use it."
"Mine," said Luna simply, "Consider it the first of your payment. You will show me how to use these artifacts after you are settled." She picked up the phone and cards as well in her magic and tucked them away for later research. She turned to the others, "It may be a formality, but I would have you all stand witness. The human David has surrendered himself and his old ways, of his own volition, nay, his own initiative. I, as princess of Equestria, welcome him as one of our own, adopted in body and name." She turned back to David, "What name will you bear?"
David timidly offered, "Silver Lining."
Luna smiled, "A fine name, now lay down please, and I will begin." David laid flat back and Luna shook her head, "On your side." He rolled over obediently and she lowered her head. Intense light descended from her horn over David. At first, nothing seemed to happen. He couldn't see the network of aether within him being corrected carefully, each line worked smooth, broken lines mended, and all the trauma being put to rest bit by bit. As the meeting of his pony and human sides began to be healed, they bled into each other freely instead of a neat line. Fur spread upwards over his belly even as patches of flesh intruded downwards, almost making stripes. Little pains that David had taken for granted fell away as the moon princess worked. His hooves shrunk as Luna undid Twilight's enchantment there, and a faint sense of weakness made him wonder if that strength spell had been dispelled as well.
"You are clean and ready," announced Luna before getting right to work. David could feel a sharp tingling all through his body, right at the edge of being painful. The fur began creeping upwards at a quick pace, overtaking his body as a snout pushed out of his face. The noises they made were quiet, objectively, but sounded like thunderous snaps in his own ears as David winced and tried to be still despite it. All sound faded away as his ears pulled in, leaving nothing, then a sudden tingling eruption announced the appearance of new ears, twitching atop his new skull. His hands clenched tightly, slowly becoming a hoof as his middle finger became the supporting structure and a tough shell grew around it. On some level, David was amused at the idea of flipping everyone off, forever.
"There's the silver lining," commended Rough Draft, who was watching on intently. David couldn't see any silver lining. The only fur he saw was the same soft brown that covered Rough Draft. At least they'd look like father and son. The thought was comforting for a moment before heat began to radiate from him sharply. He began to glow as the room slowly got bigger and bigger. Was he radiating mass as light and heat? He'd have to put out a lot more than he was doing... at least if magic cared about physics. His thoughts became distracted as a sharp pain started in his forehead. His horn freed itself with a few lines of blood, growing to a rounded nub where he could barely see the tip of if it when he looked up around his new snout. It didn't feel... magical, but what would magic feel like?
Luna looked absolutely massive now, and the other ponies simply large. He had missed the plethora of tiny changes, distracted by the larger, more obvious, shifts in his skull and hands. With his back end having already been a pony, it saved Luna some effort. The magic washing over him tapered away and David rolled over, trying right away to stand. Ungainly coltish legs proved much more of a challenge than stallion legs and he wobbled dangerously before flopping over. Instead of grumping, he laughed at it, feeling silly, and yet elated.
Luna smiled gently at the newly forged colt and opened her mouth to speak when a flash of golden light drew everypony's attention to the suddenly appeared Celestia. Celestia looked less than pleased, looking around, "Sister, what is going on? I felt forbidden magic being used and feared you were being attacked."
Luna's wings unfurled, "Attacked? Nay, sister. I am well and safe. I am dispensing justice."
Celestia appeared less than convinced, raising a brow, "Justice? What justice requires that magic?"
Luna shook her head quickly, "I misspeak. The magic you felt was not a punishment. It was asked for."
Celestia looked at the other ponies, quivering with worry, and at the small unicorn colt that just looked at her with curiosity and amazement. "We should speak, in private, sister."
"I'm almost done here," replied Luna.
"Now." said Celestia, leaving little room for arguing. The two vanished with flashes of light.
Trixie cleared her throat before stepping towards Silver Lining, "If Trixie had to guess, Luna was not supposed to do that."
The guards, with Luna no longer present, moved to depart. "Be good," one said to Lyra, and they were gone.
Lyra nodded a little, then joined the crowd around the new little colt. "So... are you angry?"
Silver Lining shook his head, "I wasn't angry in the first place." He put out a small hoof, "Friends?"
Lyra bumped the hoof with one of her own, "Friends!"
Bon Bon's bit Lyra's ear, tugging her back, "Alright, now that we're all settled, come along." Lyra whined at the abuse of her ear, but Bon Bon was not to be denied, and soon hauled Lyra out of the room.
Silver Lining looked at Rough Draft then, "Hi Dad."
Rough Draft snorted loudly, "Don't call me that! I'm... not your dad. I'm still your friend, your best friend. I'll keep you safe." Rough Draft reached over, grabbing Silver by the scruff of his neck and tossing him up onto Rough's back.
Trixie grabbed a mirror in her magic, the same as before, and pulled it over in front of Silver, "Luna did a very good job. Trixie would have been a little more decorative, but it is good enough."
Looking at himself, Silver could see he was a deep brown pony, like Rough Draft, with lighter patches around his snout and flank. His mane was a brilliant silver that stood out against it. His horn was the deep brown shade of his fur coat. His hooves were black and tail was the silver color of his mane. Overall, Silver was pleased with his appearance and smiled brightly. "So how do I do magic?" he asked from on top of Rough Draft. "Do I just imagine what I want?"
Trixie smugly hmphed, "It's not that easy. Trixie will teach you. Luna did not specify, but Trixie will come with you and move to Canterlot. She cannot be expected to tutor you from Manehattan."
Rough Draft's ears wilted, "Sorry. We didn't mean to drag you away from your job."
Trixie waved a hoof, "This is Trixie's job. She works for the crown. They will receive a bill for all expenses and they had better pay," she said with utter confidence. "Now," She pointed a hoof at Rough, "Have you been to Canterlot?"
Rough perked his ears back up, "Once..."
Trixie snorted, "Then you have no idea how to find housing. Come along, the generous and wise Trixie will help you relocate."
The trio trotted out of the room, Silver Lining still riding on Rough's back. It felt safe up there, and he watched the world go by until they reached the reception area. The three mares that had kid... foal? napped him were there. They saw Trixie and Rough Draft and hurried towards them. "Did it work?" asked Main Event, "Is he fixed?"
Cloudburst nodded, "Can I see him?"
Trixie looked away, hiding a chuckle that was struggling to escape her. Rough Draft pointed upwards, directing a hoof at the little pony on his back.
Cloudburst blinked, "Huh?" She leaned in closer to Silver Lining, sniffing at him and jerking back, "What?!"
"They fixed me," announced Silver Lining. His voice was somewhat recognizable, but clearly changed, now coming from a pony snout and a smaller body.
Cloudburst wobbled and collapsed, fading from the waking world. Eclipse raised a brow, "You were a foal that entire time? What terrible magic was used! I hope the pony responsible was severely punished."
Main Event shook her head slowly, "I would never have guessed, not in a million years. It's good that you're fixed, little one. Is this your father?" She blinked owlishly, "Oh Celestia! I helped his father be pummeled while trying to protect you!" She threw herself at Rough Draft's hooves, "I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"
Rough Draft became acutely uncomfortable, unsure how to react, "Uh... it's... OK... Everything's alright now. Water under the bridge."
Eclipse nodded at Rough Draft, "You are a kinder pony than we deserve. Have a nice day." she nudged her companions to the door, and soon they were gone, Cloudburst carried along, still unconscious, on Main Event's back.
Trixie allowed her laughter free, "The looks on their faces! You have made today worthwhile for Trixie." She led them out onto the streets of Manehatten and they were soon headed for the rail station. "Trixie has friends in high places. We will stay the night with one of them, and have a house on the next day."
Rough Draft raised a brow, "We?"
"Of course," said Trixie, "Unless you suddenly feel confident in the raising of a unicorn colt."
Rough Draft shook his head, "Well, no?"
"Then Trixie will live with you," she said. She raised a hoof and softly ruffled Silver's silvery mane, "Trixie is an expert in many things, including foalsitting, even if this foal is special." She wrinkled her nose, "But remember, Trixie knows. She will not tolerate foalish behavior."
Silver nodded his head quickly, "I'll be good. I don't want to make a big fuss, er, more than I already did. Thank you. I always knew you were a good pony."
Trixie held up a hoof, "Best pony," she corrected.
"Best pony, besides Rough Draft," said Silver, squeezing his guardian's back. When Trixie pouted, he tried, "Best unicorn?"
Trixie gave a soft hmph, "Trixie supposes that will do. Now come along, we have a train to catch."
This should be really interesting to see, having to learn pony culture and all it entails along with magic. Maybe even down the road a enrollment at a certain school for gifted unicorns if they do well. Be really fun to see how this goes!
5685207 Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm also looking forward to diving into all of this. There's a lot of territory here that the show doesn't cover much, so I get to let my imagination roam freely through the countryside.
Glad to hear it! I love seeing what people come up with, and you have already shown that its not going to be just a clone of human culture/society and I am really looking forward to seeing how your world ideas work!
Dayum, you sure know how to make a story stay fresh and exciting.
5685220 I do my best. As always, you're welcome to toss out ideas, questions, or even comments (Like you just did!)
you have made me a vary happy pony.
putting Trixie in that light of good is a vary good thing and i am thinking silver will come to call her a different name in time, and maybe Rough Draft will grow to like being the father figure and except being called dad with time.
this chapter has a lot of interesting plot twists in it and all of them good in my book.
Harts Fire
5685534 If you think about Celestia's past, Luna's mess up should become clear.
5685614 Glad to oblige!
5685537
defiantly looking forward to the up coming chapters.
5685233 How about making him more prwerful than Twilight was before she became an alicorn? That'll make for more than a few new problems, not to mention he'll have Trixie's Training as well with how it's going. Or you could make him the weakest unicorn there ever was and have him make spells much more efficient than they already are. NO! Better idea, make him like Katia Managan (I don't know how to spell her last name..). You know, he can't make his own magic but he can absorb it from other spells cast around him and from the ley lines in the world.
Three ideas, only one may be taken; choose wisely, for the others will be crushed beneath the weight of Spoilers!
5685661 "Defiantly"? Did someone tell you not to?
As cliche as Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns has become, it might be interesting to see what happens to the ordinary and not-at-all gifted unicorns that presumably make up most of the population of Canterlot. I mean, they wouldn't have an entrance exam if everypony could get in.
5685837 I can't imagine he'll blow any entrance examiners out of the water with the horn he just got.
5685678 Such extremes! Does he have to be on one end of the spectrum or another?
5685938 Well, if you want him to be boring...
5686225 Most of the ponies(and human) in this story are comfortably 'boring'. It is their actions that set them apart. Lyra isn't super good at magic, just reckless as all hell. Bon Bon shows no amazing aptitudes. Rough Draft can write a book, which has not served him well in these adventures so far. The only ponies of special talent so far are Luna, Celestia, and Trixie, who have all had the least show time.
Average doesn't have to be boring. The personalities make it interesting, not their firepower.
5686236 True, but putting him at the same level of power as other unicorns would be a bit boring in my opinion; All the other fics I have read where the MC is turned into a unicorn have him no more or less powerful than other unicorns.
5686236
Yes! In fact, the most compelling heroes are weaker than average, because then it's all the more satisfying when they win anyway.
I hope Luna doesn't get in too much trouble with Celestia over this.
5688298 She has broken a few serious restrictions that Celestia put on herself. Not on purpose, mind. Luna did not know Celestia's quietly made decisions that cropped up while she was banished.
5688309 I agree that its the personalities, not the power level, that make this interesting. It's good to know that you're not leaning towards Silver Lining becoming "the chosen one" anytime soon.
Though it should be noted that Celestia apparently called Luna away before she was entirely finished working her magic...
Ah well, look at the bright side. Now Rough Draft gets to have all the responsibilities of being a parent, with none of the benefits! Oh wait...
5689003 Poor Rough Draft. More ponies need to consider his feelings in all this.
This is getting a bit weird, even for me.
5694021 My plan is working! I mean, what?
typo that doesn't have a ticket!
5902056 Fixed!
I'm kind of shocked at the portrayal of Twilight here. I mean, you didn't make her perfect! In fact you made pretty damn far from perfect. I thought there was a rule against that somewhere. You make her look downright careless and irresponsible, maybe even incompetent.
I feel pretty bad for Lyra. Doesn't she make a living with her magic?
6235472 No pony is perfect.
The trio trotted out of the room, Silver Lining still riding on Rough's back. It felt safe up there, and he watched the world go by until they reached the reception area. The three mares that had kid... foal? napped him were there. They saw Trixie and Rough Draft and hurried towards them. "Did it work?" asked Main Event, "Is he fixed?"
Cloudburst nodded, "Can I see him?"
Trixie looked away, hiding a chuckle that was struggling to escape her. Rough Draft pointed upwards, directing a hoof at the little pony on his back.
Cloudburst blinked, "Huh?" She leaned in closer to Silver Lining, sniffing at him and jerking back, "What?!"
"They fixed me," announced Silver Lining. His voice was somewhat recognizable, but clearly changed, now coming from a pony snout and a smaller body.
Cloudburst wobbled and collapsed, fading from the waking world. Eclipse raised a brow, "You were a foal that entire time? What terrible magic was used! I hope the pony responsible was severely punished."
Main Event shook her head slowly, "I would never have guessed, not in a million years. It's good that you're fixed, little one. Is this your father?" She blinked owlishly, "Oh Celestia! I helped his father be pummeled while trying to protect you!" She threw herself at Rough Draft's hooves, "I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"
I liked that
5685210
Blasphemy! Everyone knows Rarity is best unicorn!
6738792 When one is in front of a unicorn, they are best unicorn. If you know what's good for you.
So...Celestia is unwilling to have her sister make her own decisions now? Time to go read Awkward Conversations, perhaps...
Dear Princess Luna. I wish you to know that you have been THE best princess in my opinion throughout my time being a brony. But still, Your Highness, with all due respect.
Fuck You.
Don't be an asshole.
I'd recommend all around and edge of being painful, to clarify these points. Not 100% sure though...
HAH! I approve
I honestly have no idea what you meant to have in here, but it's really awkward.
Wild guess: see the tip of it if he looked up... around..? what..? *sigh* You're making this hard, you know..?
see the tip of it if he looked up from his new snout... Not entirely happy with this either, but at least that's what I'd recommend. Take it with a grain of salt..
I can imagine this situation. I could live this situation myself, and react just like that myself. "Hi Dad!"
I feel like I'm spamming nowadays... I don't know what to think of this...
6909122 Some wording shuffled around, and you have one chapter to go! Just in case you thought this story ends, it doesn't. It's only the start. Only... the start.
6909284 Noted, and started the sequel already Loved the ending!
6927031 How much would a man pay for 10 years? 1? 1 month? One day?
Yes! Our ship hath made it to new lands! 'Tis not the land we originally planned to inhabit, but it appears to be better. We no longer ship David er, Silver, with Rough. We shall now ship Trixie Lulamoon with Rough Draft!
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/38/4f/91/384f91b4b1b82a67d01d04c1920b8452.jpg YOU DID THIS!
7073718 yes cap e gain.
31 - A Ray of Light PreviousChapters Next
Luna spoke as she gestured at the ground with a wing, "Lay down. I will render you unconscious so--"
"No," said David, though he did sit down.
"No?" asked Luna, "Have you changed your mind? You will remain human?"
David shook his head, "Not that. I want to be awake. I have to be, to make this a transition, instead of a death."
Luna looked faintly perplexed, "It will be uncomfortable, but if that is your wish." With a flash of her magic, David was suddenly a foot to the left, with his clothing left behind. They fell to the ground in a heap, but Luna's attention slid to the lumps in them. She reached into his pants and pulled out his possessions. She found a phone, some cards, and a little rubber ball. She lifted the ball up and stared through it, "This has a curious magic about it. Where did you get it from?"
David felt a bit self-conscious, being naked, but tried to ignore it. He would be naked for most of his new life, so this was as good a time as any to try and get past that, as embarrassing as it might be. "I got that when I was coming here, to Equestria. It has my desk from back home, and everything on and in it. I never had a chance to use it."
"Mine," said Luna simply, "Consider it the first of your payment. You will show me how to use these artifacts after you are settled." She picked up the phone and cards as well in her magic and tucked them away for later research
I'm pretty sure I've said this in a lot of other stories but fuck Luna she goes from 0 to cunt in nothing flat. WhatmustIdo's Diary's of a Madman did it best though. Fuck Luna!
7343953 You are far from the first to object to Luna claiming what she did.
7343974 I would be incredibly naive to think I was the first. And Incredibly egocentric to think I was the last this is a good story. People are going to read and talk! that happens with a good story. But what Luna did was reprehensible borderline Criminal fuck borderline it was Criminal by her own rules and logic. What will her sister think when this all comes to light? I know this story has been written already and can't be edited and I would not ask it to be so.
Hm.
I do believe that 30 years of slavery is enough of a payment already, is it not, Luna?
I like how you made each character have realistic imperfections. Still, Luna was a bit more... unreasonable than usual.
That "mine" statement. It wasn't a question. As if he was the one being punished, rather than the victim, merely because she was curious about something, and didn't want to bother asking for his permission. And since he wasn't a citizen for another few seconds, she technically wasn't breaking the law by doing so.
9096808
You have arrived at the final point in this starting point of the story, congratulations! Enjoy the ride?
BUILD A WALL! MAKE ROYALTY PAY FOR IT! And I guess draw offensive mustaches and glasses on them.
While i don't approve of Luna taking the orb and orb since it is all David had left of his human existence prior, i can see her seeing it as her right. She had mentioned he had not done enough to earn the age spell, but there's the idea that whatever is in that desk and the tech from the phone could make up the difference and possibly exceed it. It also served as a risk as she didn't know what it did and what dangerous things the desk could hold. She's also royalty and a ruler so ponyland or no, she likely would have a claim to anything he owns should she want it. Though there is the whole registration thing that might make that more complicated. It also works as a way to further cement his transformation from human to pony. It'll be interesting to see if his human belongings become relevant again.
10514199
im more curious about 'tias student lacks grace in her spell work, using brute force' aspect. implies tia wasn't the best teacher in this regard
10514199
I love people that can see from both sides of the glass like you.