When they exited the first room, darkness descended on David's vision, then cloth was felt around his face. "I'm not running," he complained through the bag, "Is this required?"
"Yes," said Main Event. His moving was slower, being unable to see his feet, er, hooves, and having not grown used to them. After tripping for the fourth time, he felt a strong form nudge up against him and soon he was resting on a pony's back, being carried along.
He heard Cloudburst's voice by his ear, "So, tell us about your family."
"They're all alive, so far I know. My father's a retired math teacher, and my mother wears a lot of hats. She's a therapist and a midwife primarily," explained David, seeing no particular harm in speaking of people more than a world away.
"Oh that's nice," said Cloudburst, "Did you get along well? Do they know where you are?"
"My father took every conversation as an invitation to tell me how I've messed up my life or treated him terribly," replied David, "He's not a bad guy, he just can not let go of the past, at all. I love him, but I can't be with him, and that was before I ended up here."
She paused, but asked, "And your mother?"
David shrugged in the darkness, "Nice enough, but times were tough and she was very stubborn about not giving up what she had. Everything had to be her way. She preached tolerance and understanding, but rarely practiced it in her own life. A bit of a hypocrite if you asked me, which I guess you did." He sighed then, "I wonder if she was forced to move after I left..."
"Why would she be forced to move?" asked Cloudburst.
"I was covering more and more of the bills with each passing month," explained David, "Trying to scramble just to stay in the same place. If it was my choice, we could have moved away to someplace cheaper and saved a lot of money, but then there's my niece." A soft grunt, "It gets more and more complicated the deeper you go. I do hope she's stopped flailing against the tide though... but I don't know... she could be dead."
"Why would you say that?" asked a more subdued Cloudburst, "Uh, did she live in Manehattan or Canterlot? The rent there can be a bit much."
"Yeah, sure, we'll go with that," huffed out David, tired of arguing. "She was sick to varying degrees, to add to the trouble. At one point it almost looked like she would up and die, but she recovered from that. When I left, she was back to moving around and working. Heck, I went away for a while and she did alright... even if she did run up my credit card while I was away."
"Credit card?" asked Cloudburst.
The conversation simmered down and they soon arrived wherever they were going.
A new, but familiar, voice rang out, "What have you brought before the Great and Studious Professor Lulamoon?"
"Trixie?" asked David, easily recognizing the voice and the name. He was dumped to the floor for his troubles as Eclipse's voice spoke up.
"We need you to take a look at this one. He's had a bad case of magical cross-contamination and thaumaturgical tangling. Even Princess Twilight Sparkle couldn't put him right. He's stuck as this... thing, and his memory's all scrambled. Nopony deserves to be like this."
David sat up as he heard hoofsteps approaching him. "Trixie sees what you mean. He has been sorely abused with magic, but where Twilight has failed, Trixie will prove superior!" He felt her hoof on his belly, "Tell Trixie, are you in pain, strange pony?"
David shook his head, "I'm not, but I started as a human, not a pony." He rose his hands, wriggling them blindly, "I like having fingers. Also, I'm a bit of a fan of your work."
Trixie seemed to recoil, "Really? Trixie means, of course! Many ponies from all over Equestria are fans of Trixie." She stepped away, clip clopping, "You are correct, he seems delirious, even if he has excellent taste. Have no fear! Trixie will fix him!"
David opted for a gamble, "Miss Trixie?"
"Yes?" came her voice as she approached him again.
"Before you do any serious magic, may I see your pretty purple eyes?" he asked hopefully.
There was a quiet moment before the cloth bag was pulled off David's head. "Of course you can." She smiled up at him. She really did have pretty purple eyes. "Now then, begone." She directed that last at the trio of ponies that had brought him in. "Trixie will need complete concentration and will have to do research beside. Unlike that slapdash Twilight Sparkle, Trixie will make sure she gets it right the first time."
The others looked hesitant, but began to move for the door. Cloudburst zipped up in front of David, "When you're fixed, call me." She dropped a business card in his lap, winked, and fluttered off with her friends.
When they were all gone, Trixie trotted back to David and looked down at the card, then up at him, "Tell Trixie the truth."
"Which part?" asked David, "My coming to Equestria, Lyra turning me into a pony for a while, being abducted by an angry mob of ponies?"
Trixie softly snorted, "Lyra? Lyra Heartstrings? Somehow this is fitting of what Trixie knows of her." She reached up and pushed against David's chest, lying him down, "Trixie believes you. You lack several vital signs of a pony, and have a few that Trixie does not recognize. Your abductors should already be arrested."
"Uh, that fast?" asked David.
"A message was sent out to look for you and those that took you," explained Trixie as she circled him. "They were to be arrested."
"I thought you were working for them," confessed David.
Trixie laughed haughtily, "The Great and Deceptive Trixie is quite good at acting, is she not? Now that you are in the care of a true magician, you have nothing to fear. First, Trixie needs to examine you." With her light magenta magic, Trixie tugged David's already loose pants free and set them aside. "While Trixie believes your story, you are a mess. Trixie was not lying when she said that."
David tried to sit up, but magenta magic gently pushed him down flat, "You're not going to make me into a pony, are you?"
"Is that what you want?" asked Trixie, "Trixie has just earned the grade needed to legally perform that spell."
"So... you're studying magic now?" asked David, glancing around the room and seeing bookshelves filled to the brim. "You look like you're doing better, you know, after that whole amulet thing."
Trixie frowned, "What? You were not in Ponyville. How do you know of this?" Her horn flashed and something internally was tugged with a flash of discomfort inside of David, "How do you know? Tell Trixie and she will be merciful."
David wriggled a hoof in a flinch at the sensation, "I'm from another world, remember? I didn't mean any offense."
Trixie huffed, "Trixie has worked very hard to move past that... incident. Do you not trust Trixie?"
"I do," assured David, "Seriously. I think you're a good pony, and a good magician. Heck, I think the ponies were way too mean to you when you first showed up in Ponyville. Smashing your house and laughing when you ran away hardly seemed the right thing to do."
Trixie scowled, "Trixie does not like to think about that..." She tilted her head, "But you agree with Trixie?"
David shrugged, "It's the job of a show... mare? to be loud and exciting, and you were. That's stupid to get angry about."
Trixie bobbed her head, "Yes! That is exactly what Trixie thought." She trotted around David once in a slow circling, "Now let us begin. Trixie must study you carefully."
Trixie unleashed a new spell and the room began to glow with countless neon lines of different colors. Most of the room had neatly arranged lines that ran along the edges and sides of things in nice orderly ways. Trixie herself was more complex, but still there was a pattern of spirals and grids through her equine body. No matter how complicated it got, it was all neatly patterned. Trixie held up a mirror in her magic for David to see himself. His lines all jumbled across each other like they were drawn by an infant. There were many tangles, and even some lines that were clearly torn or stretched tight. It was worst where his human half ran into his pony half. Where a cutie mark should be, lines slumbered just beneath the flesh, a dull grey in color.
"It is amazing you are alive," said Trixie, "Doesn't it hurt?"
David shrugged, "No more than usual. I'm used to a certain amount of aches and pains."
Trixie shook her head, "Unacceptable." She raised a brow, "Are you aware you couldn't even have... whatever you call foals?"
David raised a brow, "There was little chance of that before, but what do you mean?"
Trixie snorted, "It's not obvious? You're pony down there." She flicked the mirror back to its resting place on a desk. "It would be charmingly romantic if you were married to a pony, but as it is, it's just sad."
"Actually..." started David.
Trixie held up a hoof. "Trixie does not want to hear of your love life." She paused and looked him over again, "Which you don't have. What were you going to say?"
David looked a bit flustered, "Uh, well, Lyra and Bon Bon--"
"Who?" demanded Trixie.
"Bon Bon? Sweetie Drops?" tried David.
Trixie nodded, "Sweetie Drops, do go on."
"They want me as their stallion," said David uncertainly.
Trixie opened her mouth, then closed it, and frowned, "It is Lyra Heartstring's fault you became a pony, is it not?"
"Yes."
"It is then her fault," said Trixie, "that you are still half pony, is it not?"
"Yes?"
Trixie stomped a hoof, "You are being tricked, stupid foal. She tweaked you, on purpose or unconsciously. Your pony half cannot help but find her appealing. Trixie is disgusted." She stomped again, then settled down, "Trixie would bet her own hat that Lyra's scent is a perfect match for your nose."
David raised a brow, "So ponies do have pheromones? The jury's still out on if humans can smell good enough to be affected."
Trixie waved a hoof, "Of course we do." She fetched the mirror in her magic and highlighted one of the many lines in David, "Look here. It goes right from your nose, to your..." She gestured lower. "You are being duped."
David wasn't certain how to feel. Should he be angry? "Can we tell if she even did it on purpose?"
Trixie shrugged, "That is beyond Trixie's vast and amazing abilities. You will have to ask her. But first, Trixie should fix you. You are a... whatever you are."
"Human," provided David.
"Yes, human. You should not be attracted to mares," reasoned Trixie.
"I'm half pony," noted David, feeling weird, "Is it... entirely bad?"
Trixie looked baffled, "Do you want to lust after mares?"
"I don't even know anymore," sighed out David, "This is all getting confusing."
Trixie sat down beside his head as a hoof moved to point at him, hovering just over his nose, "You have a choice to make."
"Yeah" there.
5677331 Fixed!
So basically, David's choice is to repair the damage to his body - and, by extension, to his sense of identity - but lose his connection to Lyra, or maintain the fact that Lyra has basically shaped him to be (at least partially) her ideal mate, even though this has overwritten who he is to a fair degree.
That's a bit of an existential crisis. There's even an argument to be made that he's been compromised enough that he can't adequately determine what his own best interests are.
My suspicion is that, as a character, David would choose to remain in his current state. He doesn't seem to be too upset by his transmogrification, and losing that would mean losing his connection to Lyra...not to mention losing his ability to "relate" to mares in general. Since it looks like he's going to spend the rest of his life in Equestria, he doesn't seem like the sort of fellow who'd insist on retaining his unmodified body if it meant that he'd never have anything more than a platonic relationship for the rest of his life.
O boy this is going to be one heck of a choice to make I don't know if I code make that kind of a choice, who the hell I am kidding make me a pony..
exultant chapter I will be sitting right hear weighting for the next one.
5677381 I love reading your keen perception of the situation. You are a pleasure to write for, even if your edits cut deep into my fragile ego and remind me that I still have so many ways to improve. Thank you for being a reader and bringing further enjoyment into my writing.
5677426 It was a treat bringing in Trixie. Trixie is a good pony.
5677468 You really made my day; thank you so much for the compliment!
Like most fans, I greatly enjoy being able to offer feedback - both critiques and praise - to the writers of the stories I like. All the moreso when it feels like I have something to contribute, since then the interaction feels more along the lines of give-and-take, rather than passively consuming what's put before me. As such, I feel like the lucky one when it comes to your stories.
Please keep up the great work!
5677469
I must admit I like Trixie my self.
The more I think about it, the more I suspect that there's going to be much more fallout to all of this than just David's relationship with Lyra, regardless of the choice he makes.
Trixie, for instance, won't keep quiet about this. She's not a doctor, and has no duty to maintain confidentiality; between that and how she's trying to walk the straight-and-narrow now, she'll almost certainly report what's happened (to a supervisor, if not the authorities) and Lyra will likely have to answer some very difficult questions from law enforcement - even if David pleads her case (and if they don't decide that his current condition makes him incompetent to speak in his own, or another's, defense), there'll likely be serious repercussions.
Perhaps most intriguing is the idea that this largely exonerates those mares who kidnapped him. They were motivated by the impression that he wasn't in his right mind, and now it looks like they might have had the right idea, albeit unknowingly.
Now, combine those two points with the idea that, for less-severe offenses, justice in Equestria is likely to be focused on rehabilitation, rather than punishment or deterrence. Having seriously damaged David, but lacking malice (and likely wanting to make up for it) Lyra, Cloud Burst, and the others might find themselves ordered to look after his interests...though I'll confess that I'm not entirely sure what they'd specifically have to do. I doubt it'd be anything as Seinfeldian as "we were sentenced to be his butler," but it's likely that they'll have to make some sort of tangible sacrifice with regards to him (hopefully not something as bland as "you need to be his guardians and companions for the rest of his life").
Things could be about to become much more interesting than we thought.
"Cross-contamination" should have a hyphen.
The "out" there is slightly awkward. It'd read easier if it was simply "sighed David."
5677687 Oh you... Fixed!
Fix it. While the MLP Characters are cute in our eyes is because they areAnimations. One guys can find attractive the big eyes and the cute voice ( it really work, see Mangas ) but in reality?
You should read this
Did anyone see a dog mate with a cat? Or a bull with a horse? No, and for sentient species I think is even worse . Many can write a Fanfiction and say it could happen; " ok it's your fiction and you can write whatever you want " but since I noticed you're keeping this story, not in the realm of Fiction but, in the realm of concrete possibility of what things could really happen ?
The answer is NO. David live 32 years on Earth, he never had a girlfriend but he definitely lust for one , he watched porn (who didn't?) he read Mangas "Hentais" probably ( and Furry, if he really that kinky) but lust for a real sentient horse after 3 hours of contact? No, that's impossible. You can't really adapt generations of our "let's say prejudice " in a 'puff and they fall in love' I'm amazed David didn't found really grotesque just the idea ( not that I don like Lyra or bonbon... but No, forget about it)
5677730 We're a bit past the three hour mark, we've established there's brain wankery involved, and we're dealing with someone with bad taste to begin with. I should know, being that guy. But then I can say my dog has cute eyes... having cute eyes does not mean you want to perform lewd acts to the holder of said cute eyes... for that matter, no lewd acts have -actually- been done in this entire story beyond a leering at or a poke. Nobody, or pony, has actually -done- anything(which is kind of why the story's not rated mature yet).
As for the questions, No, not very interested(in the hentai ones anyway), and yes, for the three questions. Can't answer the three hour one seeing as David in the story has been in contact with ponies for more than three -days-, not hours. He's met some he wanted to punch, and some he wants to avoid, and one that feels right to be around, but may be manipulating him into wanting that through magic most foul, but may not even be aware of it, which is really making this a complicated situation.
Which is worse, forever alone, or family life as a stallion? Until you've experienced the first, you're not really qualified to answer.
Anywho! My two bits.
5677757 Well.... When I spoke of "lust for ponys and 3 hours of contact " I was referring to Lyra. David come to equestria 3 days ago that's right ...and if he lusted for ponys then... And since the first pony he met is Rough Draft... That would be awkward
5677890 You forgot the fisher and the nurse.
5677908 super awkward
5678143 "Love-drinking" should be hyph-...
...yeah, I think I've run this particular gag into the ground.
5678000 What, him hitting on fisher pony? Yes, that would be all kinds of awkward, and extremely out of character.
I'm still a little lost. Did I miss the part where David said 'Oh snap you're sexy', except the time when he actually was a pony, and even then he kept it in his head like a good dirty unclean thought belongs?
PS: This was foreshadowing for the mind-buggery going on.
5678151 You hurt me because you love me. Or so I choose to convince myself.
5678153 That sounds acceptable; let's go with that.
5679267 I would expect Luna's checkered past would make her more interested in mercy than most ponies. She came back from the moon, took over the world, and got beat by some clueless kids (compared to her anyway). Then she said she was sorry and everything was forgiven. Since the show portrays her as a sensitive person, I would expect her to be always looking for a chance to show someone else the mercy that was shown her.
5679285 It did work that way this time, though part of this series' theme is 'It isn't exactly what it looks like through the television'. There's also the parts the television shows but we gloss right over. Running off to Equestria expecting nothing but smiling ponies that live content lives is foolish, as David learns.
5679385 Possibly, but I don't know pony parts that well on the fly, so there's no reason for David-in-story to.
5679617 No actual numbers, but this guy makes a good point
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNuto85rL4E
If you take into consideration that nearly a quarter of the ponies in some crowd scenes are Colgate, it's pretty obvious that the supposed gender ratio is not meant to be canon.
5679631 It is safe to assume, within the confines of this fanfic, there is some disparity, or David would have seen the balance by now, especially in Manehattan. Adjusting that at this late point would be less than graceful.
5679631 I've seen that video before, and while Digibrony makes some good points, I ultimately disagree with the conclusion he came to.
While he's correct in pointing out that there are several scenes that showcase more stallions than mares - correctly noting that these are of them performing jobs that suggest "traditional male gender roles," e.g. plowing fields, royal guards, construction work, etc. - the video evidence he shows doesn't match with what he says when he asserts that scenes of ponies gathering for holidays show a "more even split" between the sexes.
The scene he shows for Nightmare Night (at 2:15 in his video) shows eight ponies in that scene, of which only two are circled (that is, are stallions). The scene for the Summer Harvest Festival (2:19) shows over twenty ponies on screen at once, with only five stallions circled. There are three stallions out of six ponies shown for the scene of Hearts and Hooves Day (2:17), but that's not a very good example, since that's a holiday that's specifically about couples, so of course couples would be more prominent. Even the scene for the Ponyville schoolhouse (2:28) showcases a dozen foals, of which only five are male. He further notes (to his chagrin) the notable lack of stallions during the Running of the Leaves "and a few other events" (2:51) .
He also lets it slip that he's not trying to make an unbiased investigation when he editorializes by saying that some scenes "carelessly" have an over-representation of females (2:38). That might seem like a minor point, but it showcases why I take exception to his point: it suggests that he has a conclusion that he wants to make, and is in search of evidence to support it, rather than asking what the facts themselves suggest. That's why he badly exaggerates the opposing viewpoint as, characterizing it as "a total lack of stallions in Equestria" (2:56).
His final point is one that's meta-contextual, noting that because the show's main characters are female, it makes sense that we wouldn't see as many male characters (3:13). That's true, but the presumption that the camera has a bias in what it shows us is really just an excuse for trying to "correct" for that imbalance by substituting what we think the facts "really" are - which is just another way of saying that we're going to introduce our own bias instead. At least the camera shows us actual data; trying to interpret that data to fit our own preconceived notions, or ideologies, is intellectually disingenuous.
To be fair, it is tempting to do this. Digibrony notes that the crows-shots of the ponies feature mostly mares (0:16), and then immediately mentions how most of them are "clone-stamped" images of the same few ponies (0:20), which suggests (despite his saying that it's "beside the point") that these scenes shouldn't be taken as canon. I think that stance misses the obvious point - while they are images of the same few ponies over and over, those copy-images are still meant to be representative of female ponies. Even if it is an animation-shortcut, it's not meaningless that mares, rather than stallions, were used to populate most of the crowds. We're supposed to see a large gathering of mostly female, rather than mostly male, ponies.
Something Digibrony also doesn't mention is the lack of male representation at the higher levels of power. The alicorns are all female, with notable male characters being historical footnotes (e.g. Star-Swirl the Bearded) or poseurs (e.g. Prince Blue Blood). The only male character of any political significance is Shining Armor, and it's self-evident that he doesn't have the same power as an alicorn, nor the same political influence (e.g. Cadence is the one who protects the Crystal Empire; Shining Armor is just married to her).
All of this paints a picture that males are less numerous, and less influential, in Equestria than females. There's not "a total lack" of them, just less of them than there are of mares - perhaps not even that much less. If the male:female ratio was somewhere along the lines of 40:60, rather than 50:50, that'd still be a significant imbalance while still leaving plenty of stallions in the background of the world. (Admittedly, that would also violate Fisher's principle rather fiercely, but violating the laws of nature is sort of the raison d'etre of magic, even if magic has its own set of rules otherwise...which the magic in MLP doesn't seem to have, working largely by narrative fiat).
As such, this fic's presumption that there are more mares than stallions around - and that there are social conventions in place that speak to that - is one that seems entirely believable within the context of the show.
I've always been a fan of options three and four when people only give you two options. Sadly, yet intriguingly, I don't think those will be chosen. Oh well.
6571925 What would those be?
whatever you call foals?"
questions should have question marks.
ought
This sounds a bit awkward, although it looks quite right. My recommendation would be as far as I know, but that's for you to decide.
And though I'm very much late to this part, I still don't like where this is going.. I fear for the worst, 'cause my hope for the best doesn't seem like a realistic option anymore
6909041 Heh, that's literally my speech, and I say that phrase sometimes.
6909248 Speech, check, not questioning (my brother: "It's still wrong, though!")
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fd/0d/ca/fd0dcab688619996ae9bbeb602d3ecfe.jpg
YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
I love the trixie character I wish that they did more with her
7952116 I do!
He honestly needs to stay human. It’ll fix the identity crisis he seems to be having, as shown by his dreams, at least to a degree that he wont be mistaken for a pony. And the human turned to pony clichè is a little overused.
I believe, the underlined part should be either "quite a moment", or "a quiet moment". Also David asks: "...may I?.." -- and then it is replied: "Of course you can". This should be "may" instead.
9166960
The first tweaked. The second is Trixie being Trixie.
What should happen? KILL THEM ALL! NUKE THE CITIES! BURN THE FARMS!
...I think I have a problem.
All i can say, is, thank goodness this guy isnt a mobile suit pilot from the gundam universe. MS' have the ability to be called upon by their pilots, and if he was a new type, his MS would respond to his will for his and his friends safty and storm the city to rescue him.
I dont think the royal guard have the means to stop an 18 meter tall war machine bristling weaponry and a vendetta to save its pilot...
10086616
That would be a very different story.
This guy must be good at Scrabble to be able to pay off the bills with just a word game.
10752438
https://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/gaming/a29329172/scrabble-tips/
A Dark situation and a indecisive OC..