After thanking the waitstaff for a good time, the group departed onto the street to discover a small crowd of angry-looking ponies waiting for them. About a dozen in all, they scowled at David in particular. Not wanting to confront the crowd, David turned to head back towards the convention hall, and the others went along with it. Rough Draft whispered, "What's that all about?"
Lyra whispered back with a hint of panic, "I don't know, but they're following us."
They hastened their steps, but the following group kept pace easily. This kept on for about a minute before a second group emerged from a side road and cut off their retreat. A unicorn at the lead of the second group pointed at David, "Who did that to you?! Why did you betray our race?!"
David was stunned. What? Rough Draft moved to interpose himself between the shouting unicorn mare and David, "He didn't do anything wrong."
A pegasus mare shouted from behind them, in the first group, "He's taken this biped loving too far! He's turned his flank on all of ponykind!"
An earth pony mare rushed up and jabbed a hoof, pointing at David's flank, "I bet he doesn't even have a cutie mark anymore!" Without delay, several colors flashed around his pants and they were torn down, the clasp busted effortlessly under the combined efforts of several of the unicorns in the crowd. "I knew it!" jeered the earth pony even as Rough Draft circled around towards her.
Bon Bon and Lyra looked like they were in full panic mode, hugging each other and trying to look as small as possible. This was all happening too quickly for David's liking. He grabbed his pants, yanking them back into position and keeping a hand at the front to hold it in a feeble display, though better than being exposed to all these angry ponies. "I'm not even a pony, damn."
"He admits it!" cried another earth pony, this one a stallion, "He's given up on his pony nature!" The crowd took this as a cue to begin hurling rotten fruit and vegetables at David and Rough Draft. Lyra and Bon Bon were hauled away, only to break into a flee and come out the other end of the crowd, galloping down the street quickly.
David felt a flash of annoyance, but had to admit he'd probably run too if he wasn't surrounded at all ends by adorable, but kind of scary, ponies. This wasn't the utopia he was hoping Equestria to be. The pegasus from before suddenly crashed into David from behind, knocking him to the ground and landing on his back, "It isn't too late! Give up this insane bipedalism and we'll get you fixed. You should be proud to be a pony!"
The crowd began to chant together, "Proud to be a Pony. Proud to be a Pony. Proud to be a Pony."
"Just leave me alone," cried David, swatting weakly at the pegasus on him. He didn't want to hurt her, or anyone. He didn't want to fight at all, and it made his movements pathetic at best. Jerky, full of hesitation, and empty of intent, he did little but ruffle her fur and nudge her. She bit his hand in return. Unlike when his friends had clasped his hands and pulled him along, the pressure was intense and pain exploded through his abused digits.
Rough bucked, his hind hooves colliding with the pegasus solidly and sending her flying off into the crowd. "That's assault," he angrily growled, "Stop attacking my friend. He's a human, not a pony! Leave him alone!"
Red magic suddenly caught his attention from just under his chin before his heart crystal was yanked away. With a ragged gasp, David collapsed to the ground. He couldn't breath, his heart thundered in his chest as everything inside of him seemed to go wrong all at once. He faded from consciousness quickly, leaving Rough Draft to step over his prone form defensively. Several earth ponies emerged from the crowd, ready to face Rough Draft. "You're being lied to, friend," said one of the earth ponies, a stallion, "Your friend is a pony, not a human. Humans are myths. Let us help your friend."
Rough quaked in fear, but didn't abandon his position. He bared his teeth at the approaching ponies, "He's my friend, I won't let you have him!"
A mare smiled, "That's very sweet. He's lucky to have you." Then she leaped, crashing into Rough and bowling him to the ground. As they wrestled for dominance, the others advanced quickly, grabbing the limp form of David in their teeth and hauling him off into the crowd.
"Put him down!" roared Rough Draft, but he was only a few steps better at hoof to hoof combat than David, certainly not good enough to wade through the sea of disapproving eyes, "He has rights!" He managed to toss off the mare on top of him and get back to his hooves, only to find the other earth ponies standing between him and David.
"It's for his own good," one of them said.
Rough Draft threw himself at the ponies, trying desperately to reach David, but he just couldn't force his way through the crowd.
David was unconscious. He knew this. He was aware of his condition somehow, and he boiled with frustration. He let loose with obscenities as he stomped around in his own mind, powerless to do much about it. With a sudden burst of purple energy, Luna appeared. She canted her head lightly, "It is not often I am called during the day. This does not appear normal for your dreams."
They were in a perfectly white expanse. There was no decoration, just a distraught David standing there. "Luna! I'm glad to see you."
Luna perked her ears, "As you always seem to be. It is good to be welcome. What manner of dream is this?"
David waved a hand, then stopped. The hand was a hoof. He grunted and focused, turning it back into a hand, "The ponies in Manehattan have gone crazy. They think I'm a pony rejecting his pony nature. I don't know exactly what they're doing with me, but I can't imagine it's good."
Luna nodded slowly, "Well, are you?"
"Am I what?" asked David with a raised brow.
"A pony rejecting your nature, of course," she explained.
David crossed his arms as his tail twitched behind him, "I've been a human for over thirty years. I've been a pony for maybe a few hours. I like ponies just fine, but I'm a human, not a pony."
Luna pointed at him, "That is up for debate. Have you been injured?"
David glanced down to see he was more of an upright pony, his hands once again hooves and a snout starting to push into his vision. "Ugh. This is my head, I can be what I want." Suddenly, he was human again, "They took my heart crystal and it knocked me out."
Luna frowned, "Removal of a pony's heart crystal without consent is a very serious crime. It can be very easily lethal, if heavy magic is being regulated by it. I will inform the Manehattan guard immediately." Suddenly she was gone.
The ponies deposited the half-pony on the mattress and looked down at his naked form. "I took off his heart crystal, but he's still... this. Shouldn't he have turned back into a full pony?" asked a unicorn mare. She brought the heart crystal into view, shaking the purple stone.
"Maybe we have to use a spell?" suggested the unicorn that had tackled him to the ground.
Only some of the crowd were in the room, three mares, one of each of the tribes. The earth pony mare moved up and poked David in the side, "He must be an earth pony. I can't imagine a unicorn or a pegasus would give up their horn or wings."
The pegasus pointed at his hands, "He has those. Maybe he gave up his horn for them!"
The unicorn made a face of utter disgust, "As if any right thinking unicorn would give up their magic for a few fingers. We have all the fingers we need." She turned her attention on the pegasus, who suddenly fell over laughing and giggling, "See?"
The pegasus squirmed under the unseen fingers, "OK OK! I give up!" she wailed as she writhed under the countless tickling digits. When the unicorn relented, she flopped, panting for breath with the occasional lingering giggle escaping her.
The earth pony mare rolled her eyes, "Let's get this over with as quickly as possible. You're our magic expert, Eclipse, what do you suggest?"
Eclipse circled the sleeping form of the half-pony, her magic taking in all of his nuances, "He's a mess. Whoever turned him into a half-pony did a terrible job of it. You can barely tell he was ever a pony at all, but it's in there." She clapped her hooves together, "I know! If we can get him to realize his special talent, that should shock him back into proper ponydom."
The pegasus, recovered from her tickling, was on her hooves, "And how do we do that? What even is his special talent?"
Eclipse raised a hoof, "Storytelling. They spotted him at that filthy biped gathering weaving tales for a crowd like it was second nature."
The earth pony shook her head, "Alright, so how do we get him to, you know, do that?"
The unicorn rubbed one hoof against the other, "Don't you worry, girls. I have just the idea that'll get our poor little pony back in shape again."
Two spaces are between the first word and the second. Also, I believe that "angry-looking" requires a hyphen.
That said, I was quite pleasantly surprised by this chapter! The sudden, unexpected drama was quite captivating, as was the presentation that there's prejudice in Equestria. I can't wait to see how this turns out!
5669764 Fixed! And the audience is always allowed to pitch their own ideas for how things go in this story.
5669769 I apparently have a thing about hyphens today:
"Half-pony" should be hyphenated.
One question that comes to mind is why Luna wouldn't send Twilight and her friends, rather than the guards, to help David. It's been a day or two since he ran into Twilight; have the events of "Rarity Takes Manehattan" ended, and the group gone home?
There's no closing quotation mark. Also, that last sentence needs a "do" in there, as well as a question mark instead of a period (e.g. "what do you suggest?").
"He's" should be "he'd," here.
5669785 It would be a bit of a leap to assume Twilight tells Celestia everything she does as she does it. Afterwards, sure, but now that she's a princess, Celestia doesn't even want friendship reports anymore. Then Celestia has to tell Luna about it.
5669797 Fixed. Sheesh, I was sloppy today.
5669802 Ah, good point. I just sort of assumed that the princesses kept tabs on each other, but you're right that there's no reason to think that that's so.
holy buck thing are going down hill fast for David Luna had better hurry or there wont be much David left to rescue.
5670651 A lot of things could happen!
5670653
that sire is the under statement of the century.
this hole thing code go sidewise in half a hart beat.
Hmmm, I stumbled across this, and I see
And there be no Mane 6 on characters. I think I will actually like this, it's going on the list.
5673029 Thanks for joining! I hope you enjoy the read.
You know, it occurs to me that David is a walking treasure trove of inspiration for ponies that are creative-types. That's because he comes from a world that's soaked in popular culture, and is now in a place where he's the only one with knowledge of that culture.
Just imagine how many songs he knows, how many stories read/heard, how many movies he's seen, that are entirely original insofar as Equestria is concerned. Even with some "dimensional analogues" to contend with, there should still be a significant amount of new things that he has to offer by virtue of coming from twenty-first-century America.
Heck, the movie descriptions alone could easily catapult Nicole Foalman to super-stardom for two lifetimes.
"You're an ordinary mare, living an ordinary life, when you're suddenly attacked by a killer stallion from the future, intent on killing your unborn foal before he saves all of Equestria in a future war. Oh, and the killer stallion has metal bones."
"You're on an ocean voyage, and fall in love with a handsome colt, having a whirlwind romance before the ship hits an iceberg, and he dies getting you to safety."
"You're a small-town banker who, through bad luck and the machinations of a greedy old stallion, is about to lose everything. You're contemplating suicide, when you're suddenly shown how much worse everypony would be if you had never been born, giving you a renewed appreciation for your life, just before everypony comes to help save your livelihood."
Seriously, what's in David's head is a media event just waiting to explode.
5673313 This may be true, but it's extremely unlikely the ponies that currently have David care too much about that. There would be some translation hiccups for sure as well, since I'm not sure if sex roles work remotely the same in Equestria, and the idea of all these Stallions tossing their lives away for love may or may not resonate with a pony audience, to say nothing of violence levels.
5673337 It'd definitely require some translation for an Equestrian audience, but there's simply too much for none of them to be workable. Likewise, while that wouldn't really be of interest to Lyra and company, I can't imagine Nicole not being at least somewhat interested.
5673351 I was more referring to the ponies that are being less than nice. He has to deal with them first.
5673355 Ah, my mistake. Yeah, that won't be any help in the immediate future; I was thinking about David's long-term prospects.
I forgot to mention this before, but I chuckled at this scene. The juxtaposition with what that mare says, and then how she acts, is quite amusing.
5673534 Them mares, always willing to play stallion's emotional buttons to pull the wool over their eyes. Pity it works so consistently in pony land.
Reminds me of those psychos who cornered and tried to beat my friend to death at Anthrocon in Pittsburgh a few years back.
They took his crystal! David! You lied to me! *insert overdramatic swoon here*
I did see this coming though. Well, not this in particular, but an eventuality like this.
5694198 I am a cruel author, it's true. I do hope you liked the twist though.
After a short break from fimfiction I found this story complete. First was pontification, but that was temporary. Then Twilight made a half-ass job on turning him back. It wasn't ideal but at least he was mostly human. This part made me want to go on a happy stabby spree. And choppy. And slashy.
Dammit >_(\
5698207 Please do read on, it only gets more tangled!
Bravo, Mssr Silver! Another good chapter, well written. You actually made me feel for a character. I fear for David.
5700622 His life is heading towards additional complexities, have no fear!
so many ads for brony mate. well look on the brightside wind, at least it is no longer that ad for russian seniors
I see into the heart of this chapter...I...see...HATETRID
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W5mS0FnXrB0
5676793
I shouldn't be surprised that ‘people’ of that sort exist…
Going to repeat myself from last chapter, waiter or something
6909013 Sorry, that one is actually a word: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/waitstaff
6909242 Well, would you look at that... I stand corrected
Discord might like chaos but this is too much, he should step in to at least fix part of this. He even admitted to not wanting to sharing this realm with another hybrid, you'd think it would be in his best interest.
6922062 I don't see him in this chapter?
I am really confused. Is this one of those "Concerned Neighbors" things, or a group of females w that want him, but just don't want the biped part of him?
eyes,
have
7127156 Fixed!
Now I wish Steel Resolve would have stayed with them. He would have taught these biped racists a lesson!
Dang, these be some old typos...
She turned
Just...
I can actually see this happening.
NOOOO!!!
PLEASE STAY HUMAN!!!
What the actual...
Turned
11707085
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